“I know it’s not what you want to hear,” Cami said, offering her two cents. “But maybe you should check out the facilities to see if they are actually as bad as you’ve made them out to be in your head.”
“Maybe.”
“I hate seeing you down and out all the time,” she said, tucking her arm through his. “It’s okay to admit that you can’t handle all of this on your own. There are paid professionals that are equipped to handle her condition.”
“I know,” he finally said. “I just hate feeling helpless.”
“Join the club.” She smiled halfheartedly.
“You are far from helpless, Cami-girl.” He looked down at her giving her that smile that she’d fallen for all those years ago, his dimples showing just enough to remind her how happy-go-lucky he used to be.
“So are you.” She nudged her shoulder against his before unlatching her arm from his to open her locker. “You know I’m always here for you, right? I mean, if you ever want me to go with you to check out a place for Gran, I’ll be there.”
“Thanks. Maybe I’ll make some calls. See what I can find.” He placed his backpack into his locker and shut it. “And about the other night,” he said, finally bringing up their desperate attempt at rekindling their relationship. More like a desperate attempt to forget the people in their lives that were threatening their sanity on a daily basis.
“Can we not?” Cami quickly interjected, earning a questioning look from Hayden. “Do we really need to talk about it? It was just a kiss. I think we said all we need to about it, don’t you?”
“I do.” He nodded. “Just wanted to make sure we were good.”
“We’re great,” she confirmed. “In fact, you’re about the most stable person in my life.”
“Likewise,” he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders for a quick hug. The final nail had been driven into the lid of the coffin containing their romantic relationship, but their friendship was stronger than ever. “I’ll catch you after school. Let you know if I have any luck on finding a place that isn’t terrible for Gran.”
“Sounds good.” She smiled as she watched him walk away.
“Well look at you,” a voice called out from behind Cami. A voice she could have gone the rest of the school year without hearing. “Making out with farm boy at prom then hooking up with Hayden after. My, you’re a busy girl.” Raquel’s upturned nose was being held exceptionally high as she flashed her perfect white teeth glistened from behind a smile. “Lucky for you, I took being social chair off your hands.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Cami said, turning to walk away from her former BFF. “And while I appreciate how very interested you are in every move I make, you’re the last person I feel like discussing my love life with.” Cami felt a little taller as she started to walk away. She’d wanted to tell Raquel to piss off since the first day of school.
“Whatever,” Raquel called out. “We all saw you at prom. Kissing Brantley Cooper on the dance floor, but leaving with Hayden when your dance partner ditched you. It was pathetic.”
“A lot like your attempt to get under my skin, Raquel,” she said over her shoulder. “Stay the hell out of my business.”
It felt good telling her off.
Almost as good as she felt the day before when she dumped the remaining pills of her prescription down the toilet and flushed them. For a moment, she’d thought that maybe she needed the medication, but the truth was that she wasn’t clinically depressed. She was just grieving. She was sure there would be an argument with her mother if she found the empty bottle.
Theresa wouldn’t care so much that her daughter wasn’t taking them, more that she wasted good drugs that she could have popped her for her own nonexistent ailments. Cami didn’t want to end up like her mom. She didn’t want to trick her body into needing something it didn’t. Being sad, and angry, and in denial—all part of the process. It took her a bit to figure it out, and a few sessions with Mrs. Farber, but she was starting to see clearly now for the first time since the storm.
Even as people were watching, knowing they would talk, she didn’t care. She finally understood what actually mattered. There were just a few more things that she needed to right, and maybe, just maybe, she’d be on the road to recovering.
C
ameron texted beneath her desk during last period. They had a sub that didn’t seem to care what they did so long as they were quiet, so she took full advantage.
Cami: I need to see you.
Brantley: Words I never get tired of hearing. Or reading.
Cami: Haha. You’re so full of yourself.
Brantley: I’m just glad that you are still speaking to me. I’m sorry about prom.
He was sorry. Of course he was sorry. He was always sorry when he ditched Cami for Ella Jane. This was the part where being understanding and being jealous collided leaving Cami wondering where she stood. Because no matter what he had told her about Ella Jane being his friend, a little sister of sorts, she couldn’t shake the notion that there was something more between them. She had to give him the benefit of the doubt—at least that’s what she kept telling herself. He wasn’t her boyfriend, not in any official capacity. For a split second, she’d thought, no, she knew there was something more between them. Sadly, it hadn’t been enough to stop him from running after Ella Jane or enough to stop her from throwing herself into Hayden’s arms.
Cami: It’s okay.
Brantley: It’s not, but I’ll make it up to you. I promise. My brother was sick today. Had to stay home with him.
Cami: Can we meet up before school tomorrow?
She knew that the second Coop walked into school there was a good chance that rumors would be circulating, via Raquel, and she didn’t want him hearing about her meaningless hookup with Hayden from someone else. What she wanted was to officially tell him that he meant more to her than some meaningless closeted hook ups. She wanted to see if maybe there was a future with him. She couldn’t do that without coming clean...about a lot of things.
W
hen Coop walked through the door of the utility closet that morning, Cameron was already there.
She greeted him by wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning against his chest. He held her in his arms for a minute for moving back to place a chaste kiss on her lips. The silence between them was as sweet as the minty taste of her lips. It couldn’t last though. He knew it. She’d asked him to come here for a reason and he knew it might be an “I don’t need this anymore” meeting.
“So…” He flashed her a forced carefree grin. “You said you
needed
to see me?”
“I did.” She nodded. “What happened at prom...I—”
Cooper groaned. “I shouldn’t have left.” He brushed his thumb across her lips, removing the smudge of lip gloss from underneath her mouth, undoubtedly from their kiss. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you. You’re important to me too.”
“Too…” Cami said quietly. “As in, also in equal measure, or as in second rate?”
“As in it’s too different to compare,” he said evenly. “I made a promise to look out for her and it’s one I’ll keep.”
“I see. She’s your best friend’s little sister and you feel you have to take his place now that he’s gone.” Pain flashed across her face but he had no idea what exactly had provoked it.
“Something like that. Can you handle that? That I might have to duck and run at a moment’s notice if it means doing what’s best for her?” His chest constricted with tension as he waited for her answer.
“I’m trying to be understanding,” she said resting her head on his shoulder. “Kind of like I hope you’ll be when I tell you what happened after prom.”
Cooper’s muscles tensed but he waited for her to continue.
“I kissed Hayden,” she announced suddenly. “Um, more than kissed, kind of made out with. But we stopped before it went any further.” For a moment, neither of them spoke. Cameron leaned back and looked up at him. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“What do you want me to say?” Cooper dropped his arms from her turned away to keep the rage at bay.
“Something. Anything,” she pleaded.
He offered her a shrug. It was the best he could do at the moment.
“You really have nothing to say?”
“Oh I have plenty to say,” he assured her. “But it’s not like you’re mine or anything. You made it clear that this…” He held up a hand, pointing out the fact that they were once again back in the closet. “This was all you wanted from me.”
“That didn’t stop you from storming into the prom and kissing me in front of everyone like you owned me, now did it?”
“I don’t recall hearing you complaining. Though it didn’t stop you from running into Prescott’s arms the second I messed up.” He shook his head. “And for the record, I haven’t kissed
anyone
else since whatever this is started.”
“It was a stupid mistake,” she told him. “What happened with Hayden,” she clarified. “It meant nothing.”
“Is that right?” He took a deep calming breath. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this angry. “If it meant nothing, then why did you feel the need to tell me about it?”
“I... Because I didn’t want you to hear about it from someone else.”
“That the only reason?” he asked. When she didn’t answer, he turned to walk out the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I’ve got something I need to take care of.” He turned to look at her one last time before leaving. “You might want to figure out exactly what the hell you want from me, because this is the last time I’m coming down here and letting you pretend that what’s going on between doesn’t mean anything.”
“Fine,” she huffed out.
“Fine,” he called back as he slammed the door behind him.
F
emales had obviously been invented for the sheer purpose of driving him insane. Cooper found himself wishing he could call his best friend up for some advice. But he couldn’t. So he tried to think about what Kyle would do, how he would handle this situation.
He thought about the bonfire. Then he thought about how much he didn’t actually hate Prescott as much as he had that night.
He wanted to.
Hell, he
needed
to. Some days, that was about all that kept him going. But the way he’d protected EJ at prom plus how solid of a friend he’d been to Cameron and the fact that he really was busting his ass day in and day out on the Hope’s Grove rebuild made it hard to hold on to the anger.
Likable bastard
, Cooper thought to himself. In another life, the two of them might have even been friends. But in this life, Prescott’s family represented everything he detested and the dude kept interfering with the two girls he cared most about. So he’d have to pay one way or another.
Cooper took stock of his emotions as he headed down the hallway in search of Hayden.
He was a simple guy. He believed in hard work and honesty. If you pissed him off, kissed his girl—whether she wanted to admit she was his girl or not—you paid for it. Simple as that. He’d let it slide with EJ because that was on him. He hadn’t told her how he’d felt so technically his hat hadn’t even been in the ring. But this was different. Cameron was different.
So when Hayden appeared on the periphery, Cooper made a beeline to where he stood.
“You kiss her?” he asked once he had the other guy’s attention.
Hayden frowned. “Which
her
are we referring to, Joe?”
Which
her
kissing Hayden had bothered him the most? Cooper wasn’t sure. Fourth of July had sucked major ass. His heart had been crushed to dust. Hearing Cameron say they’d made out after prom was a knife in his gut. The two feelings were different and the same and impossible to compare. Kind of like the two girls.
Hayden sighed as if he had somewhere more important to be. “I’m really not in the mood for this to—”
Fuck it.
He didn’t bother answering. He just slammed his fist into Hayden’s jaw and hoped that got his point across effectively enough.
H
ayden didn’t bother getting up right away once he’d found himself on the wrong end of Cooper’s fist. Instead, he lay on his back, staring up at rows of florescent lights, and contemplated the many,
many
things that had gone wrong that day.