Patricia Hagan (30 page)

Holly continued to stare up at her in utter amazement. She had known. All this time. Yet she had given Holly the right to hide within herself what Holly didn’t want seen. She had allowed her daughter that rare thing, pride.

“Mother, I never dreamed—”

“There’s no time to talk,” Claudia said firmly. “Let’s just say I knew that, when the time was right, when your mind was made up, we would leave. So let’s be on our way.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

Their ship sailed and they were safe.

Soon the tall mountain peaks became small hills, then disappeared from view. Holly watched from the deck, finally turning away from Jamaica.

She went belowdecks and peeked in at her mother. Satisfied that Claudia was sleeping soundly, she went to her own cabin to keep her vigil. Where was Scott?

There had been no sign of Roger nosing about the dock, so he did not know her whereabouts.
Was
she as safe as she was tempted to feel?

“By the time he wonders whether you’re off the island, we’ll be on our way,” Neil had told her.

If only there were not this other trouble tearing away at her.

Standing in her cabin, searching Neil’s face hopefully for a sign that things were not as bad as they seemed, she asked him about Scott.

Neil dropped his gaze. “I just haven’t been able to approach him, to explain. I’ve never seen him so mad. God help anybody who tries to talk to him.” He sighed. “All I can do is wait till he calms down enough to hear about Claudia being so ill. Then he’s bound to understand.”

It didn’t look good, but at least Neil would try. Dear Neil. Whatever would she have done without him?

She heard her mother calling out to her, and rushed across the hall to Claudia’s cabin.

“I’m fine,” Claudia said as her daughter’s anxious face appeared in the doorway. “I just wanted to talk to you. How are you, dear?”

Holly sat down on the bed. “I wonder,” she said, “since you seem to see straight through me, whether I even have to
tell
you what’s wrong.”

Claudia smiled. “No, you really don’t. Since it was Captain Davis who helped us escape, not Colonel Colter, it doesn’t strain my imagination to figure out there’s a problem. I assume it has something to do with your marrying Roger. Colonel Colter must be quite upset.”

“I think he hates me. Neil says he’s so mad he hasn’t even dared to tell him I’m on this ship.”

Claudia nodded. “It will all work out, I know it will. Right now, I think you’d better concentrate on what we’re going to do once we get to Vicksburg. Sooner or later, Roger will return.” Sorrow overcame her. “Oh, Holly, I can’t bear the thought of you being that man’s wife. You’ll never know how I suffered, because I knew
you
were suffering. I couldn’t say anything, but I wanted so much to let you know I understood. I wanted to beg you to leave. I was sure you were only putting up with him for my sake, but I couldn’t let myself say anything.” She eyed Holly, shrewdly. “We must do something to keep him from ever touching you again. No more nightmares.”

Holly smoothed her mother’s hair back from her face. Even in illness, she was a lovely woman. “As soon as we get home, I’m going to see a lawyer and find out how to straighten everything out. I want a divorce, of course, but I also want to make sure you receive everything you’re entitled to as Jarvis’s widow, and not have to go through Roger to get it,” she proclaimed resolutely. “There has to be some way.”

“I’m not a complete invalid, Holly. I can stand up for myself. I’ll be right there beside you.”

Holly mused, “We’ll go to Abby’s house and—”

“No!”

Holly was stunned by the sudden strength in her mother’s voice.

“I’m going to live in
my
house, Holly. Jarvis built that house for me, not for Roger. I’m his widow. It’s my right.”

Holly didn’t want to go into a long, tiring explanation of how that particular subject had been the means by which Roger had manipulated her into marrying him in the first place. He would not allow her mother to live in the house except as his mother-in-law. “He is the administrator of Jarvis’s estate,” Holly ventured. “The first thing we must do is get a lawyer and find out just what your rights are, Mother.”

“He may be administrator, trustee, or whatever,” Claudia snapped, “but there has to be a way for me to be allowed to live in that house without his approval. We will take whatever steps are necessary, but we are not moving in with Abby, by God, we’re going home!”

Her eyes glittered with spirited tears, and Holly embraced her, smiling through her own tears. Claudia was so angry and so determined. Was this the emotional lift she needed to bring her back to health?

But Holly knew, even as she wistfully dreamed it could happen, that the disease could only worsen. There was no cure. Please, Lord, let her have as happy and as peaceful a time as possible until she dies. Had Claudia, with her astonishing intuition, sensed the seriousness of her condition? No! Don’t let her know she’s dying…

Claudia was staring at her daughter. “There’s something else I want to talk to you about,” she declared. “You never did lie very well, you know. You didn’t marry Roger because you wanted to. You didn’t even marry him because you thought you loved him. He caught you at a very vulnerable time. I think he used my sickness to get to you, maybe even making it sound worse than it is.

“And,” she held up a finger for silence, “we will talk about Jarvis now, and your feelings about him. He was a good man. A kind man. He cared very much for you, Holly, and he wanted to be a father to you. He hated what was happening to you. Do you know he cried when he told me about Sally and Norman?”

Holly told herself to just keep silent. Let Claudia have her dreams about Jarvis.

“Jarvis,” Claudia continued, “was worried about Roger. He said Roger was resentful because he didn’t have wealth of his own. Oh, Jarvis was generous with him, but he refused to finance his gambling. However, toward the time of our wedding Jarvis noticed that Roger seemed to have money. Roger refused to talk about it, but he seemed to have money for anything he wanted, and he and Jarvis were having arguments because, more and more, Roger wanted to take over, run things.”

“So where did Jarvis think he was getting this money?”

“That’s the point. Roger wouldn’t say. He just hinted that soon he’d have more money than Jarvis ever dreamed of having. And you know Jarvis was a very rich man. Jarvis didn’t want to come right out and accuse his own son, but he hinted to me that he thought there was something illegal involved. It worried him so terribly, Holly.”

“Mother, it doesn’t matter any more. I know Roger for the despicable hypocrite he is. I’ll divorce him as quickly as I can and try to forget I ever knew him. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to feel closer to Jarvis. I’m sure if you loved him he wasn’t all bad, and—”

“He was a good man,” Claudia said firmly. “And I don’t know why you feel the way you do. There’s something you aren’t telling me, and if you say you’re not hiding anything, I’ll know you’re lying.”

“All right,” Holly admitted. “I have my reasons, but I’m not going to tell you what they are. Jarvis is dead. I am sorry he’s dead, for your sake, and I will be respectful and not speak unkindly of him. So now, can we just drop the subject?” She stood up, pitching sideways and throwing out her arm to steady herself as the ship rolled. ‘I think I’d like to go for a walk and get some air.”

Claudia leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes. “He was a good man, Holly. Remember that. One day, you’ll realize it’s true.”

Holly tiptoed quietly from the cabin and climbed the stairs to the deck. She took great, drinking gulps of the pungent salt air and instantly felt refreshed. Picking her way over rigging and ropes, she made her way to the railing and stood marveling at the water glimmering blue in the sunshine. The ship pitched and rolled, but Holly only found the movement melodic, not upsetting. It lulled her.

It was short-lived.

Neil appeared at her side, grim-faced. “Holly, I hate to sound like a tyrant, but you don’t have any business up here. Please go back down to your cabin.”

What was she doing wrong?

He understood her confusion, and nodded toward the sailors working nearby. “They aren’t used to having a woman on board. This is a cargo ship, not a passenger ship. They’re a rough bunch, Holly, to put it bluntly. The captain sent word he wanted to see me, and he said to get you below. He doesn’t want his men getting notions.” He smiled. “Come along now. Spend the day with your mother, or rest. The captain has invited both of you to dine with him tonight.”

Vexed, Holly jerked away. “Men! It seems women have to gear their every thought to what makes life comfortable for men.” With a swish of her skirts, she moved by him and went below to her tiny cabin…

The day passed slowly, and late in the afternoon, Claudia said she would like to remain in bed for the evening.

“I’m afraid I’m not much of a seafarer. Tea and soup will do fine for me, but you go on to dinner with the captain.”

Holly did not try to change her mind. The sea did seem to be getting rougher.

Holly rummaged through the valise that Lilda had hastily managed to pack, choosing the one really pretty dress. Mauve silk, it had a dipping bodice edged in delicate lace. It was strapless, and there were slip-on puff sleeves reaching from elbow to wrist. The skirt was a smooth sheath, the tight-fitting waist coming to a point over her flat stomach.

She brushed her hair to hang straight and shining about her bare shoulders, then touched lilac cologne to her neck and ears. Staring at her reflection in the small, silver-stained rectangular wall mirror, she was satisfied with her appearance. Attractive, sophisticated, but not too elegant. Elegance would have little place on a cargo ship.

Neil knocked on her door promptly at seven to escort her down the passageway, then down a short flight of stairs to the galley. A small room off to one side served as the officers’ mess. Upon entering, she saw two men politely stand in greeting. “First Officer Harold Pearson,” Neil nodded to the taller of the two. The other he introduced as Second Officer Malcolm Perryman. “Miss Holly Maxwell,” he finished, deciding for her that “Mrs. Roger Bonham” no longer had a place in her life.

Officer Pearson gestured to her to take the seat next to him. “We’re sorry your mother couldn’t join us,” he said. “I hope she isn’t seasick.”

Holly exchanged a glance with Neil, then said, “Mother’s been in poor health for some time. I’m anxious to get her home.”

Officer Perryman chimed in, “Jamaica is a beautiful island, but if I were sick, I’d prefer to be home.”

Captain Weyman Dubois walked in then, and Neil made the introductions. Holly found the small, rotund man polite and charming. He surprised her immediately by apologizing for sending her to her cabin earlier.

“I don’t want to create problems,” she told him, “but I find it disconcerting when a woman has to hide, Captain.”

“Not
hide,
Miss Maxwell,” he smiled brightly. “I’m afraid my crew are not all men of honor, as my officers are. In the future, should you feel the need for a walk, merely ask one of the officers to escort you. A lady as beautiful as you are should always be escorted,” he added with a friendly wink.

Officer Perryman nodded to the only empty chair. “And where might Colonel Colter be? Don’t tell me he’s seasick,” he laughed.

“He’ll be along,” Neil commented, then whispered to Holly, “I’m sorry. I went by his cabin again to tell him you were on board, but he just wasn’t…approachable. I’ve never seen him so…so…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Holly responded lightly, holding out her glass for Captain Dubois to fill with crimson wine. “I think Colonel Colter’s problem is
his
problem alone. I’m not concerned.”

Brave words. But twenty minutes later, when the door finally opened and Scott appeared, there was no denying the flush that crept over Holly’s entire body from head to toe. Massively handsome, as always, his brilliant dark eyes fell on her, and tiny red fires of rage sparked in those eyes. He shot an accusing glare at Neil, then turned around and left the room.

Officer Perryman was the first to speak in the startled silence. “What was that about? Granted, I found the Colonel quite moody on the journey over here. But what he did just now was downright rude.”

The others exchanged murmurs of agreement, as Holly leaned toward Neil to ask, “How do I find his cabin?”

He hedged, “Holly, I don’t think—”

“I’m not asking for your thoughts, just some help,” she snapped, standing so quickly that her chair clattered. Embarrassed, sorry she’d snapped at Neil, she apologized to the captain and the other men.

Neil sighed. Maybe it was best she and Scott fight it out. “He’s on the same deck you are. First door on the right.”

She hurried from the room and, reaching Scott’s door, pounded on it.

“I don’t want to see anybody,” was Scott’s roaring response.

That only infuriated her further. Using both fists, finally giving in to utter frustration, she began kicking the door as well. She was not going to put up with this any longer.

The door jerked open and Holly fell forward into his arms. Shaking with a deeper rage than any she’d known before, she faced him, then slammed the door shut.