Payne (The Soldiers of Wrath MC: Grit Chapter Book 3) (4 page)

F
our months
later

Vicky smiled at her elderly patient, not even afraid anymore as the older woman reached out to touch her stomach. It had taken her a long time to get used to people touching her belly. Her nerves were justified. She was having a baby. That shit was big to process, and she had even gone to the hospital to have a checkup and a scan. She was having a beautiful baby boy.

Just the thought of a tiny Payne made her feel so much love and joy.

Every single night she would sit at the end of her bed in the small apartment that she rented, staring at the phone. She didn’t make a whole lot of cash, but she got by. The apartment was nice, and it was one she’d be willing to keep her baby in when he came.

“How much longer, dear?” Francine asked.

“A few more months still.”

“We’ve not seen the father around. Is that what you want?”

Francine was a kind woman, but she was nosey, and the question took Vicky by surprise. Her first instinct was to go on the defensive, but she bit her tongue. Vicky sat with her for many hours listening to her talk about her seven kids and thirty grandkids. The woman always had company, and she always liked to talk.

But this question was a bit intrusive.

“It is what it is. I don’t really want to talk about it.” Tears filled her eyes, and she quickly blinked them away. She would not cry in front of someone. This had been her decision to leave. And even after contemplating going back and telling Payne, she’d decided this was the best course of action.

“Sweetie, nothing has to happen. Sit down, tell me all about it.”

Vicky took a seat, thankful of the rest on her feet. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s something, otherwise you wouldn’t be crying. Now, what is the problem?”

Biting her lip, she tried her hardest to keep the tears in. “I loved him more than he loved me. He had this … club. You know, some of the guys relied on him, and he couldn’t be seen to have a weakness. He didn’t love me enough to trust me to be by his side. He didn’t want the commitment.”

“I’ve been on this world eighty-five years, and in all that time I’ve come to see that men are stupid.”

Vicky started laughing.

“You think I’m kidding. I’m not. Men are entirely stupid, and for the most part, they are a waste of time.”

“Really?” Vicky wiped away the tears.

“When it comes to really crazy, and the most important decisions in life, yes, men are stupid. The thing is, we wouldn’t have them any other way. They are stupid, but they are also the loves of our lives, and none of us would be without that. We love them too damn much to let them go.”

Vicky sighed. “I do love him. I love him so much that it hurts.”

“I know. It’s hard. It is always hard. Men, they don’t make it easy. You’re so young, and you should be living life, loving it in fact.”

“I love working here.”

“Sweetie, it’s a pleasure to have you in our lives.”

After an hour of talking with Francine, it was time for Vicky to head home. She traveled up the apartment stairs and got her key out. Once inside, she rested her head against the door and took several deep breaths. The nights were always the hardest. She struggled without Payne.

Grabbing her cell phone, she dialed Clara’s number and waited.

“Hello,” King said, answering the phone.

Gritting her teeth, she tried not to say what she wanted to, but her need won out. “How is he?”

“Vicky?”

In the distance she heard noise. She heard
him.

“Is that Vicky? What the fuck?” Payne asked.

“Clara went to the toilet. I answered her phone,” King said.

“Baby, Vicky, is that you?” Payne asked, suddenly on the phone with her.

She closed her eyes as the sound of his voice went through her.

It’s been so long.

“Hey,” she finally said.

“What are you doing? Come home.”

“I can’t come home.”

She pressed a hand to her stomach as the tears welled up inside her.
That’s daddy on the phone, and he doesn’t know about you.

“Why can’t you come home?”

“Payne, do you love me?” she asked.

“Vicky?”

Again, he didn’t say the words. He was around the club, and his feelings would remain his own.

Hanging up the phone because she couldn’t stand it anymore, she left her apartment again, and threw away the cell.

She needed to man-up, or quit being weak, that was for sure.

* * *

P
ayne stared at the phone
, wishing he could will Vicky to get back on the line, to talk to her. Instead, there was silence. Clara appeared before him, taking the phone from his hands.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t fine. He wanted to hurt someone.

The club, they were all looking to him to lead them, and in the last four months, he’d done a fucking poor job of it. He couldn’t get his head in the game, and the only reason they had lasted this long was because there was no apparent threat. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to get all of them killed.

Walking away from Clara, he made his way outside of the clubhouse into the open air. It always helped to clear his head. Staring up at the sky, he wondered what she was doing. Did she miss him? She sounded so sad on the phone, and yet she still wouldn’t come home.

He didn’t get it.

Brix came outside, leaning against the wall. “You love her?”

“Yes, I love her. I fucking can’t stand living without her.”

“The past four months you have fucked up, Payne. You’ve not made very good decisions. Men, they don’t know what to do to help you.”

“You got a fucking point right now?” Payne asked.

“No one has tried to take this from you. The club, it belongs to you. No one can lead like you. It’s time for you to go and get your girl.” Brix handed him a piece of paper.

Payne frowned as he opened it up. It was Vicky, her employment papers at a care home.

“She’s there, boss. The guys, we all trust you. We want to do what is best for you and the club. Let’s go and get your old lady.”

H
e was doing this
, really fucking going to get his woman.

My woman. My old lady.

He stopped in front of the apartment building where she lived, his heart thundering, his need to go to her and demand she come with him riding every part of his body.

He looked at King, who sat behind him, and saw Beast through the review mirror. They’d taken the SUV, because truth was Payne hoped he could talk Vicky into coming with him today.

Once they knew where she was he’d gotten on the road and hadn’t stopped until he was here. She had stayed in the same town where they’d first looked, but she’d been keeping a low profile. It wasn’t until Brix started digging more that he realized she’d been staying in some rent-by-the-week motel, using an alias and living off her savings.

But once she’d gotten a job and signed a lease for an apartment, she’d become a red flag when they’d finally found her.

His heart was jackknifing in his chest, he was starting to sweat, and he realized it was because he was fucking nervous.

Yeah. Him. Fucking nervous.

“You got this,” King said beside him, but the other MC patch was looking out the passenger side window.

“You know how she feels about you,” Beast said, “so all you have to do is grow a set and tell her how you feel.”

Payne snorted. “How the fuck did you two become relationship experts?”

“Because we finally found women in our lives that made us whole.” King was the one to say it. He turned and looked at Payne. “And once you have that in your life everything is right in the world.”

“We have the MC, and that’s our life, but when you have the woman you love by your side, an old lady that will never let you down and will give you that love—” Beast shook his head. “—Fuck, men, it makes all the shit we’ve been through and done so worth it.”

The silence stretched on for a second, and Payne let those words sink in. “Well, damn, that’s some heavy shit,” Payne muttered. Before he said anything else he took a deep breath and climbed out of the driver’s side of the SUV. He was going to bring Vicky home, because without her he felt empty.

He went into the building, climbed the stairs to get to her floor, and stalked down the hallway to her door. When he was in front of it he just stood there, thinking about what he was going to say. But without wasting time and acting like a pussy, he pounded on the door.

It only took a moment for the lock to disengage, and for the door to swing open. And then there she was, standing in front of him and letting him know how much he fucking loved her.

* * *

H
e was here
, and she didn’t know what in the hell to do. There he stood, on the other side of her front door, dressed in leather and denim, and looking so damn good. She didn’t move, didn’t even breathe. He smelled good, like motor oil and man, and every part of her body lit up.

She’d missed him so damn much.

I love you.

Her first instinct was to cover her belly, not because she was afraid, but because Payne was the father and he stood right in front of her. But she didn’t do that, and instead held onto the doorframe with one hand. Her throat was threatening to close shut, and she didn’t know what to do or say. She was already showing quite a bit, and it would be painfully obvious that she was pregnant once Payne looked down … which he would at some point.

“Payne,” she finally managed to croak out.

And then he was coming inside, not touching her, but having her move back in response. He shut the door, and she craned her neck back to look in his face.

“What are you doing here?”
Good, I can say a bit more, and make myself appear calm.

“You ran,” he said, his eyes narrowing, his mouth set in a hard line.

And then she did cover her belly, because that was one of the reasons she’d run. She’d just found out she was pregnant, and worried about his reaction since he hadn’t acted like he cared for her.

And he’s here now.

And when he lowered his gaze down to her belly, his eyes slightly widening after a second as if he’d just realized, she expected the disgust to come from him. Or maybe for him to just turn and leave her standing there.

“Vicky?” He said her name low, his voice sounding thick. “You’re pregnant.” He said it without making it sound like a question.

“Yes,” she said. She’d wanted to tell him, but had been too afraid. Well, now was definitely the time. “You’re going to be a dad, Payne.” She swallowed. “It’s a boy.”