Authors: Monica Miller
Chapter 16
The New Normal
~
M
att
N
icholls ~
Standing on the edge of a cliff, looking at the bright blue ocean always gave me a feeling of relaxation. I took a deep breath and grabbed Emma’s hand.
We haven’t said anything since we arrived here, but that was normal. We enjoyed being around each other and we have spent over four years together. I know everything about her and she knows every single detail about me. Sometimes it was annoying. Yes, I knew her favorite movie, color, song, season, what makes her genuinely smile, what makes her laugh or cry, what upsets her and what makes her happy, but somehow her thoughts are still a mystery to me. She is a woman, after all.
The air was cool, it was around 4 AM and the breeze was making Emma’s straightened hair fly around her face. It was funny how many times she could ran her hand through her hair in a minute. I loved when she did that. It’s something innocent about it and makes her hot. And she does that a lot. Especially when she’s nervous. Now she was just annoyed by the wind.
After clubbing all night with Ben, Monica, Gabrielle, Shia, and the others, we decided to hang around for a while. It was weekend, anyway. And it has been quite a lot since we’ve been wandering around the city at night. So we left the club just when Monica decided she wanted to have sex with Ben, and Emma said she was exhausted. I dragged her on the beach. I come here often, at this mini-cliff where I can see the Pacific in all its glory. It makes everything seem small, and I feel liberated and peaceful here. And of course I had to share my special place with the most special person in my life. Emma.
The sky was dark, but clear, and the stars shone beautifully. Right on the line of the horizon, the color was a little brighter and mixed with a shade of dark purple. There were about two hours until the sun rose to all its splendor, but still it was a really serene feeling.
I felt Emma shift next to me and she rubbed her arms and I took off my jacket and gently placed it on her shoulders. She gave me a shy smile and I placed my arm around her tiny waist. She leaned her head on my shoulder, like she always did. I smiled to myself, and moved even closer to her. I could feel the heat coming from her body. My heart started beating faster.
“This is so beautiful…” Emma whispered, breaking the silence between us. I followed her gaze towards the oceans waves and nodded in silence.
“You are beautiful,” I whispered back to her and I knew she was smiling now.
Emma didn’t say anything back, but there was no need for words. We were standing there, together and it felt like we were the only thing that mattered. Just the two of us. In a place that resembled Paradise.
I couldn’t even remember last time I felt this good. Yes, this place calms me, but now I was standing here with Emma… That adds this place a special feeling.
We stood there for what seemed like an eternity, without saying a word, the only sounds around us were the waves crashing the cliff below us. I took a deep breath and Emma turned her head and looked at me. Even though it was dark and the only light was coming from the moon, I saw the sparkle in her brown eyes. I smiled at her, and she smiled back as I gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. She bit her lip and her gaze locked with mine. I got closer to her and she closed her eyes just when my lips touched hers. I felt her body stiffen at my touch, but I didn’t stop. I placed my other hand on her hair, pulling her into me.
Emma moaned when my tongue touched hers in a passionate, sweet way and she wrapped her arms around my neck, and I continued kissing her like this was the only thing that mattered in the world. God, how much I missed her sweet strawberry taste or the way her kiss felt… Her hand was now on my chest and I thought my heart will completely jump out of my chest. Emma pulled out of the kiss way sooner and sighed, our breaths being both irregular. She was still in my arms and she started to tremble as soon as she kissed me again, as passionate as before.
“I love you, Emma,” I whispered between kisses, and felt her lips curb when I said that and she was completely on top of me, her legs wrapped around my waist as we still laid close to the edge of the cliff. The only thing I noticed was her hair, caressing my cheeks.
“I love you too, Nicholls,” she said as her soft, addictive lips touched mine one more time.
Her hand slowly caressed my cheek, and the other one brought me even closer to her. I continued kissing her than I heard this awkward noise, like someone was knocking on a door, but that was crazy, I was on the edge of a cliff? So I decided to ignore it and continued kissing Emma. God, her smell made me oblivious to everything in the world. But the knocking continued.
“Hey, wake up time for… work.”
Everything disappeared around me and I felt a body next to mine and the light was annoying. I thought sun was supposed to be up in about an hour or something. And what was that noise? Completely annoyed, I tried opening my eyes then the reality hit me. Hard. Emma was standing in front of the door, completely stunned, and I looked to my side. Oh, fuck!
Sabrina opened her eyes and noticed Emma in front of her, and that I was staring at her, she just took the sheet to cover herself and smiled uncomfortably at Emma, who shook her head and turned on her heels and left the room after slamming the door.
Okay, what happened to the nice, sweet Emma from my dream? Then it all came back to me, as I stood there, with a pillow on my head. I dreamt about kissing Emma. And it felt good. Really good, actually. And I told her I loved her. I mean… I’ve never said that! Not even to my mom. Okay, maybe I did when I was younger, but I never told a girl I loved her.
Yeah, but you actually didn’t do that, it was a dream.
Yes, right. Just a dream, even though it seemed so real. But now when she was totally mad at me, and Sabrina was naked next to me and I knew I screwed it.
After taking a brief shower and trying to get dress as soon as I can, avoiding Sabrina around who was complaining that her red, sleeveless dress has such big cleavage and it’s inappropriate for work, while I tried to make Emma to talk to me. She didn’t say anything as we walked to the car. Sabrina of course wanted to ride shotgun, and that made me literally laugh.
“Um… Sabrina? Emma rides shotgun,” I said and caught Emma’s eyes and she stared at me in shock.
Sabrina glared at me, like the fact that I slept with her gave her somewhat special treatment. There was no way I would put any girl before Emma. While driving I turned to look at her beautiful, innocent face, and found myself enjoying the fact that she was mad at me. As I probably mentioned thousands of times before, I loved seeing her mad. That added even more mystery and hotness. Then I remembered the dream. Everything seemed perfect there. Somewhere Emma and I could be together. Because in this world it’s not gonna happen, like ever. She said it clearly we wouldn’t work. Although sometimes I have my doubts about it. She could be the best girlfriend ever. But no boyfriend of hers seemed to realize that. I mean, whose girlfriend actually enjoys playing
Call of Duty
and watching football and yelling at her favorite team? And whose girlfriend actually looks hot doing that?
“Matt, watch out!” Emma screamed, pulling over the steering wheel and looking at me with wide eyes. “What’s the matter with you?” she whispered, in shock.
“Sorry, I was somewhere else,” I muttered, trying to focus on the road.
She nodded and I sighed. By the time I got to Starbucks I forgot completely about Sabrina, who was standing on the back of my car texting on her iPhone. I got Emma her usual latte and my favorite espresso and we got out of the car, Sabrina following us.
“Um, didn’t you get me a coffee?” she asked looking expectantly at me.
“Uh, no? Why should I?”
“You got your secretary one.”
“So?” I asked pressing the elevator button, and looked at Emma, who seemed to feel really uncomfortable. “She’s not just my secretary and you can’t
make
me do anything. No one can.”
“Yes, but I thought…” she started with a sparkle in her eyes.
“Oh, stop thinking. And cut the crap. Don’t tell me you believed something is going in between us,” I told her while walking towards my office.
“How can you be such jerk?” Sabrina yelled at me.
“Could you, please, act like a grown up and not make a scene here?” I asked glaring at her. “After all, I do reckon I’m your boss, am I right?” I added with a smile.
She wanted to reply something, but she closed her mouth and turned around, walking towards her office as fast as a tornado. I smirked at the other girls who were looking at us and walked to Emma’s desk and she ran a hand through her curls.
“You were a jerk, Matt,” she whispered so slowly I barely heard. “How could you act that way?”
“She’ll get over it,” I told her taking a sip from my coffee. “Oh, this is Heaven!” I said, smiling.
“You seem in a good mood today, despite what happened with Sabrina,” she noticed and opened her agenda. “Phone call meeting at 10, Mr. Nicholls,” Emma continued with a smile.
“I had the greatest dream last night,” I said looking into her eyes and she look back as if she
knew
. Somehow, I felt she knew, and felt the same. But that wasn’t possible at all. Although that didn’t stop my mind wander around, thinking what’d feel like if I kissed her right now, and place her on her desk while she kiss me back the way she did in my dream, with her long, sexy legs wrapped around my waist, and…
“Matthew! Hey!” she snapped her fingers in front of me and started laughing. “What was your dream about?” she asked completely amused.
“You’d just love to know, Miss West, wouldn’t you?” I teased her and decided I had to go back to my office and start working to get her out of my mind. Walking towards to my office, which was just three feet from her desk, made me turn around and take a look at her again. “Just FYI... My dream was about you,” I casually said before shutting my office door.
*
I took a sip of the cold beer I had in my hand and wondered what I should say. I’ve been standing on my couch with Ben for a while just switching the channels on TV and having monosyllabic conversations. I wanted to tell my best friend about Emma, but I knew him too well to know he’d rip my head off. And he’d start all over with the “you’re not good for her” speech and I’d hate him.
“Why are you so quiet?” Ben asked and I looked at him surprised. “You always talk.”
“I don’t, dude. C’mon. You do. It’s like I have to tie you up just so you shut up. So what’s up?”
“Nothing. I’m just bored,” he shrugged his shoulders. “And I get this thing at work…” he continued, a few seconds later and ran his hand through his messy hair. Ben having messy hair. That’s a weird combination. “It doesn’t matter.”
“No, what? Do you have problems? Can I help ya?”
“No, thanks man,” he said with a smile. “So what’s up with you? Another chick thing?”
“When do chicks affect me, man? I’m Matt Nicholls,” I answered with a smirk. “No, it’s just… I think I kind of made a mistake and I don’t really wanna tell you about it, because you’re getting all judgmental and… you know,” I said picking up a joystick. “Let’s just play something.”
Ben looked at me and shrugged then took his own joystick. Was really great playing with Ben, because I’m usually better and I brag about it and he complains that I’m cheating. How could you possibly cheat on a video game?
“So I had this dream last night…” I started when I considered Ben was concentrated enough on the game and he wouldn’t say anything bad.
It’s just a guys’ thing, I mean we never have those kinds of emotional discussions the girls have. We don’t hold hands or glare into each other’s eyes. That’d be weird and it’s not like we’d have weekly slumber parties. So it’s easier to talk when you’re concentrated on anything else, and you don’t have to make eye contact. Guys know that. We don’t do that. It’s either black or white for us, and being concentrated at something always helps you think out of the box.
“About Emma,” I continued. I knew I could totally take my time, because when we’re playing FIFA we don’t move for about five hours. So Ben must’ve a lot of time today.
“So?” Ben asked as he rose to his feet. “Move, you motherfucker!” He yelled at the screen. “Oh, fuck you!” he yelled when I scored a goal right through his goalkeeper’s feet.
“Yeah, I rule ya, no need to tell me that,” I smirked and he muttered something that sounded like a “son of a bitch”. “So, I was with Emma down the beach, at that cliff I always go to clear my mind, and I don’t know, we started kissing somehow and…” I took a breath and closed my eyes and opened them the next second when Ben rose to his feet again and he started shouting “goal” from the top of his lungs.
It was actually a pretty funny picture, because we met up right after work. Emma decided to go over to Monica’s house to spend time with her and the girls and Ben came over and he was still wearing a black suit, and now he was having an alien-green joystick in his hand and he was all jumping around like a 6 year old. Anyone would be confused by it.
“Yeah, be happy about it, it’s your last one,” I told him laughing.
“Shut up, bitch, I’m getting better,” he said sitting on the edge of the couch really concentrated. “So you and Emma were kissing. Why?”
“I don’t know. I mean… It just… happened. Dude, it’s a dream, how the fuck do you want me to know why we were kissing!” I took a break from telling him to try to escape his Beckham character. Of course he was playing with L.A. Galaxy and I was having Real Madrid. “Fuck you Ronaldo!” I yelled when Beckham ran away with the ball, and Ben started laughing on my side.
I haven’t said anything for another half an hour, while Ben and I chased each other on the field, Xabi Alonso owning the ball like the boss he is, and one of Ben’s team stealing it from Mesut Ozil. Landon Donovan was actually good in Ben’s hands and I was worried about Higuain’s game so I traded him with Benzema. Ben relaxed a little, because he never liked Benzema and he thought I can’t do anything with him and a minute after I scored a goal with that character in front of Brian Rowe, his goalkeeper.