Perfect Partners (19 page)

“Sounds as if she was simply afraid to tell him about you and was biding her time.”

Joel lifted one shoulder in a negligent shrug. “Maybe. More likely she didn't really want to marry me. She just liked the thrill of fooling around with a guy she knew her father would never tolerate. In the end our luck ran out. Copeland caught us together.”

“Copeland told me that much. He said he was furious.”

“He was. When Victor Copeland loses his temper, he goes kind of crazy. He's a wild man.” Joel decided there was no point in going into the details. “He fired me, of course. Told me to get out of town.”

“Did you agree to go?”

Joel exhaled slowly. “I was more than happy to leave. I asked Diana one more time to go with me, and she had hysterics. Said she couldn't possibly go with me. Wanted me to understand that this wasn't what she had planned.”

“She was scared. Panicked by a choice she was not prepared to make. She was just a young woman at the time.”

“Don't kid yourself. She knew what she was doing.” Joel realized he was clenching his jaw. His dentist had told him six months ago he had to stop doing that. He forced himself to relax the muscles of his neck and shoulders. “To make a long story short, I went home and went to bed. It was two o'clock in the morning, so I didn't wake Dad to tell him what had happened. I figured the next day would be soon enough to give him the bad news.”

“What happened the next day?”

“Dad left for work early that morning, before I got up. I spent the day packing my stuff. When he came home after work, he was very, very angry. I'd never seen him like that. Said Copeland had just fired him. He said that he had lost his job, that he was too old to find another one, and that his life was ruined.”

Letty looked at him with an aching sympathy in her eyes. “Copeland fired your father? Because of what you'd done?”

“Right. Or as Dad put it, because I didn't have enough sense to keep my pants zipped around Diana Copeland.” Joel ran his fingers through his damp hair. The old tight feeling deep inside was getting bad. He could feel himself growing tense and twisted like a spring. Usually it got like this only late at night. Usually he could run it off.

But today there did not seem to be anyplace to run.

“Joel, that was a terrible thing for Copeland to do. It was so unfair. I can see that in his anger he might have fired you, but he had no right to let your father go.”

Joel swore softly at her naïveté. “Fairness had nothing to do with it. Copeland was in one of his rages, and he was determined to punish all Blackstones, not just the one who had transgressed. My father had worked for Copeland Marine for over twenty years, but that didn't matter a damn to Victor Copeland. Copeland killed him.”

Letty searched his face intently. “I don't understand. What do you mean he
killed
him?”

“It's real simple, Letty. Getting fired was more than Dad could handle. His job down at the yard was the only thing that kept him going after Mom died.”

“He had you.”

Joel leaned back against the stall door, remembering the emptiness in his father's eyes. “I don't think he cared too much one way or the other about me after he lost Mom. He just sort of sank into himself. We shared the same house but it was like having a roommate. Something went out of him after Mom was gone.”

“It sounds as if he fell into a clinical depression and didn't come out of it.”

“Whatever. All I know is that losing his job was the last straw. He went out to the Anchor. Stan swore he drank himself stupid, but a couple of guys who were at the Anchor that night said he wasn't that far gone when he left the place. They told me they would have driven him home if he'd been drunk. They were old friends of his, and I believe them.”

“What happened?”

“He drove off a cliff into the sea on the way home. A lot of people said if it wasn't drunk driving it was probably suicide. Everyone knew he had never recovered from Mom's death.”

“My God,” Letty breathed.

“But I've always had a few other ideas,” Joel said slowly. “He took my car that night because his pickup was out of gas. He was driving home alone in the rain. It was late at night. It would have been impossible for anyone to tell who was behind the wheel.”

Letty's eyes widened. “Are you saying what I think you're saying?”

Joel clenched his teeth. “I think there's a hell of a good chance that Victor Copeland saw my car on that narrow, winding road above the sea that night. I think it's possible he decided to take advantage of a golden opportunity to get me out of his daughter's life once and for all. I think he might have run Dad off the road with that big old Lincoln he used to drive.”

Letty looked shaken. “That's an incredible accusation.”

“I know. Also one I can never prove. I went down to the yard after they found Dad. I told Copeland what I thought. He got livid and called a few of his men. They threw me out.”

“Copeland told me you went to see him at the yard.”

“For all the good it did. But even if that isn't the way it happened, even if it was an accident or suicide, Copeland is guilty as far as I'm concerned. Guilty as hell.”

“I understand how you must feel,” Letty said softly.

Joel was quiet for a moment. “For some reason the worst part has been never knowing for certain just what did happen that night. I think that's what twists me up and makes me dream about it sometimes. I think it's the uncertainty. Not knowing if it was an accident or murder or suicide.”

“There's no sense of closure because you don't know the answer. Too many loose ends and too many questions. You keep going back to it, trying to resolve it.”

Joel gripped the side wall of the stall, bracing himself for what he was going to say next. “Do you know what Dad said to me that night before he went down to the Anchor?”

“No.”

“The last thing he said was that it was my fault.” Joel touched his stomach in fleeting memory. “He took a swing at me. Punched me once, right in the gut, and then he said, ‘This is all your fault, you goddamn stupid son of a bitch. All your fault. I'm glad your mother died before she found out what kind of a son she had.’”

Letty stepped close and wrapped her arms around him. “Joel, I am so very sorry.” She said nothing more, just held him tightly and rested her head on his shoulder.

Joel was unable to respond. He stood stiff and inflexible, like a man made out of stone. It was as if all the circuits that controlled his emotions had simply shorted out. He felt utterly blank. No one had offered him this kind of simple, undemanding comfort since his mother died.

But at least there had been time to say good-bye to his mother, Joel thought. At least he had been able to tell her that he loved her, and she had told him how much she loved him.

There had been no chance to make his peace with his father. “This is all your fault, you goddamn stupid son of a bitch,” he had said. “You couldn't pick some girl from your own crowd. Hell no, you had to screw the Copeland girl. Christ, didn't you even think for one minute about what you were doing? Were you so goddamn stupid you couldn't tell she was just playing with you? Did you think for one minute about what would happen to me when Copeland found out you'd dared to go after his daughter? This is all your fault.”

All your fault
.

Joel was aware of Letty's warmth and softness closing gently around him. The effect was like water on stone for a while. He could feel her, but her warmth just washed off him.

But she continued to hold him as if she would never let him go, and gradually the tension in Joel started to lessen. After a few minutes he found the strength to raise his hand and sink his fingers into the softness of her hair. She stirred against him, hugging him tighter as if determined to let some part of herself meld with a part of him.

Joel had no real idea how long they stood like that. The rain drummed on the barn roof in a steady, soothing pattern. He was thinking about that curious, mesmerizing rhythm when he realized Letty was finally lifting her head from his shoulder.

He looked down into her face and saw the sweet, serious warmth in her eyes. He realized her lips were slightly parted and she still had her arms wrapped around his waist.

Joel did not even stop to think about it. He lowered his head and covered Letty's mouth with his own.

Her lips softened instantly under his, parting for him, inviting him into her heat. A sharp, urgent need shook Joel. It was followed by a desire that was beyond anything he had ever known. The feeling was not so much physical as emotional.

He had to have her. He would be cold and empty for the rest of his life if he did not make love to her in that moment. She was the only one who could save him from the pain that was washing through him in a torrent.

He gripped her waist and dragged his mouth across hers, desperate for the hope and the promise of her. She wrapped her arms more tightly around him, silently offering him whatever he wanted, whatever he needed.

“
Letty
. Oh, God, Letty, I want you.”

“It's all right, Joel. It's all right.” She was responding feverishly now, clinging to him, kissing his throat.

Joel knew he had lost his self-control. This was not like the other night when he had been determined to find out just how hot Letty would burn for him. The sensations that surged through him now were raw and wild. He needed her right this minute. And she was offering herself.

Joel slid his palms down over her firm, lushly rounded hips, yanked her skirt up to her waist and cupped her buttocks. He lifted her up against his painfully engorged shaft. She whimpered softly and speared her fingers through his hair.

Then Letty wrapped her legs around his waist. Joel staggered slightly and found his balance. He thought he would burst into flames.

He realized his jeans and Letty's panty hose were in the way. Desperate to get rid of the barriers, he lowered her to the floor and eased her down onto the old blankets. A small cloud of dust wafted upward. Joel paid no attention. He was too busy struggling with Letty's panty hose.

Nylon ripped. Letty gasped, but she did not pull away. Instead she reached for the zipper on his jeans.

“I'll get it,” Joel muttered, aware that the denim was stretched tautly over that portion of his anatomy. He reached down and lowered the zipper cautiously. An instant later he felt that part of himself thrust free of confinement.

Letty's beautiful, gentle hands were waiting for him. Joel groaned as she stroked the length of him.

“Damn,” he muttered thickly as the fierce desire swirled in his veins. “Letty honey, that feels so good. So damn good. I need you.”

“Yes.” She looked up at him through her lashes. The warmth in her eyes was all-consuming. He could drown in that warmth, and he would be safe in it.

Joel did not take his eyes from hers as he ran his hand up along the inside of her thigh. He found the place where he had torn her panty hose, inserted his fingers inside, and ripped hard to create a wider opening.

He cupped the softness between her legs, awed at the depth of her response. She was hot and ready. He slid one finger into her, and she shivered.

“
Joel
.”

He wanted to savor her reaction, but there was no time. His body was surging toward release.

“I need to be inside you,” he rasped, willing her to understand. “I can't wait this time.
I can't wait
.”

“Yes. It's all right.” She cradled his head between her palms, kissing his jaw and then his throat. “Come inside.”

He could not even take the time to get out of his jeans. He sprawled on top of Letty, crushing her into the filthy blankets. She widened her legs for him. He reached down to part the plump folds that guarded her softness. She was slick and incredibly warm. He positioned himself and then, with a deep groan, drove into her in a single long stroke.

He was startled by the initial resistance of her body. Then she closed around him like a small, clinging glove. Joel nearly went out of his mind with the sensation.

“You're so tight,” he muttered. “So hot and tight. Christ it feels good.”

He pounded into her, unable to slow down or exert an ounce of finesse. He had to fill her with himself. He needed to lose himself in her forever.

And then he was over the edge, arching himself above her, gritting his teeth against the exquisite pain, exploding inside Letty's softness.

He was lost.

He was free.

He was complete and whole for one single instant in time. He was at last the man he was supposed to be.

Joel shuddered heavily and collapsed on top of Letty. He gulped air into his lungs and luxuriated in the pure satisfaction that engulfed him. He was vaguely aware that Letty's fingers were moving gently through his hair in a soothing motion.

The rain was still pounding on the roof. Perhaps that was why he had little or no warning. Or perhaps he was simply too far gone in the safe, warm world he had discovered.

Joel was jerked back to reality when the stall door creaked on its hinges.