“S
orry to have kept you waiting.”
Chelsie turned, startled at the sound of Griff’s deep voice. He’d excused himself to clean up and she’d retreated to the living room. She’d gotten lost in a file she was reading on her iPad. No sense in wasting valuable free time, and what better way to tamp down unwanted emotions than by burying herself in work?
She closed the tablet and placed it on the cushion beside her. “Not a problem. How could I begrudge a dirty man a shower?”
“Feeding Alix is an experience,” he said, laughing.
Laughing? In the time since the hearing, Chelsie couldn’t recall Griff treating her to a simple smile.
He ran his fingers through still damp hair as he entered the room, coming up beside her. She’d always thought him good looking, despite his brooding intensity. Now a relaxed grin transformed him into a different man. A small scar near his left eye crinkled when he smiled. Deep grooves surrounded dimples she’d never realized he possessed. She assumed that the last month or so of grief and sleepless nights had taken its toll, but instead of aging him, the lines gave his face character. The effect was devastating.
She sucked in a deep breath and prayed for the strength to survive the coming months. “Yes, well, mealtime might be easier if you asserted some authority instead of allowing Alix to manipulate you.” She tempered the lecture with a smile and a laugh of her own. After all, she’d done her own share of allowing the little girl to have her way. Looking at that lopsided grin and mop of curls, Chelsie could almost see her sister. She lost her heart every time.
“Manipulate? I don’t”—he shook his head—“yes, I do. But I pay for it, believe me. My clothes were covered with food.”
She chuckled. “Might be easier, not to mention cleaner, to feed her with nothing on.” A flush heated her cheeks and she rolled her eyes in embarrassment. “I can’t believe I just said that.”
“Neither can I, but I’ll take it under advisement.”
Having already let her mind wander in that direction, visions of him naked came much faster this time. She was certain he’d be magnificent in the nude, and just as certain she had no intention of finding out.
These wayward thoughts didn’t bode well for her handling of their time together. She needed to gain some control of herself. “Sorry. I tend to speak my mind.” She shrugged, determined to forge ahead, regardless of her big mouth.
“I noticed.” He smiled again. “Mind if I join you?” He gestured to the beige couch and nodded, sliding her tablet onto the stone cocktail table before her.
“What made you change your mind?” His penetrating gaze assessed her, and she struggled not to fidget under his scrutiny. After all, she’d set herself up for this and had to see it through.
“You didn’t just drop in for the hell of it?” he asked, suddenly wary.
“No, but we do have to work out the details and you’ve just pinpointed one major flaw.”
“What?”
“Your blatant and undisguised distrust of everything I do or say.” She sighed and leaned on an armrest. “Look, I’m not asking for your complete faith. After that hearing, I understand your position. But this is your idea, so you must think I have some positive qualities or you wouldn’t want me around Alix. Am I right so far?”
“So far you’re on your way to one hell of an opening argument, counselor. Go on.”
“All I’m asking is that you reserve judgment. Let my actions speak for themselves without your coloring them with preconceived notions that may or may not be correct.” Chelsie grinned. “And for the record, they probably aren’t.”
“We’ll see.” His lips twitched as he tried to suppress a laugh, letting her know she’d made progress.
“Good. So for the duration, no more jumping to negative conclusions and unwarranted assumptions. Agreed?” she asked.
“Agreed. What else?”
“Watch it, counselor. I might begin to think you’re easy.”
His eyes focused on her lips. “As I said, we’ll see.”
Flustered by his double meaning and wanting what she could not let herself have, she rushed on. “I’ll give you all my free time.” It was the best she could offer and up to Griff whether or not her offer was enough.
* * *
Griff smiled, pleased he’d made progress. “And we appreciate it.”
“Unfortunately, when you look at my days, that isn’t saying much. There are a lot of times I won’t be available.”
Her words brought forth a well of disappointment so strong, Griff was blindsided. “Those are the obligations you spoke of earlier?” She hadn’t outright denied they were social in nature and she guessed that Griff couldn’t help wondering about the extent of her involvement with other men.
“Yes.”
“Whatever you can arrange with your schedule, I’d… we’d appreciate it. You’ve already seen what a difference you make.”
“In the end, you might find that it’s just coincidence.”
He studied her intently. “I don’t think so.”
“I think you overestimate my capabilities, Griff. Alix reacted to an aunt she knows, but not as well as she knows you. I pay attention to her and she performs for me. Give her a chance and she’ll be testing me just as much as she tests you.”
“You seem very knowledgeable about children. Sure you haven’t got one or two stashed away that no one knows about?”
Heavy silence descended upon him like fog. The flash of pain that crossed her features could only be described as grief. He should know. The first week after his brother’s death, he steadfastly avoided the bathroom mirror. He hadn’t bothered to shave until Ryan made a poor joke about his appearance frightening Alix.
Griff glanced again at Chelsie. With her arms wrapped around her body, she reminded him of a lost child. He was struck by the urge to enfold her in his arms and chase away her unknown demons. Based on their previous encounters, he doubted she’d let him near. And, he reminded himself, he shouldn’t want to try.
She sucked in a shaky breath and plastered a fake smile on her face. Her valiant effort to compose herself pierced his heart. His intended joke had obviously hit a very tender nerve.
“No children in the closet,” she said, the joke obviously forced. “Just some family skeletons.”
“Glad to hear it.” He was happy to give her a new subject to focus on. “Now, what type of schedule did you have in mind?”
“I could come by for supper sometime. That is, if the offer’s still open.”
“It is. What about your caseload?”
“I’ll take one day at a time. If things become unmanageable…”
“Let me know. We’ll work something out. You’re referring more cases than you’d like and I’m building a practice. I think we could help each other.”
She cocked her head to one side. “Really? You aren’t even sure you like me.”
If you only knew
. No matter how strong his initial distrust, he sensed there was much more to Chelsie Russell than he’d seen so far. His body certainly wanted to know her better, and their time together would be a trial in the truest sense of the word.
Being close to Chelsie, and not allowing desire to flare between them, wouldn’t be easy. If he were smart, he’d make sure they spent only necessary time together, the hours needed for Alix’s well being and nothing more.
So why had he even mentioned a business arrangement? Why push for more than she wanted to give? Not a smart move, he silently cautioned. Especially because where she was concerned, he had no intention of giving in return.
“Don’t rush into anything you’ll regret,” she cautioned, echoing his silent sentiments. “It’s one thing to have me around for an hour or so a day. Working together is a whole different story. This arrangement is meant to help Alix. It’s temporary. Which brings me to my next point.”
“Anyone ever tell you you’re long winded?”
She grinned. “Every judge in family court.”
“I thought so.”
“Those obligations I mentioned keep me busy two nights a week and some weekends. And they aren’t something I can or will skip lightly.” She paused, obviously deliberating how much to tell him. “It’s just … I volunteer at a women’s shelter downtown.”
Relief overwhelmed him, even though what she did with her free time was none of his concern. But he wondered at her initial reticence to discuss the subject. Helping others was nothing to be ashamed of, and it enabled him to rethink his opinion of her selfish nature, something he wasn’t yet comfortable doing.
He cleared his throat. “I have no intention of interfering with your life. I appreciate the help, however much or little you can give. Your tour of duty will be over before you know it,” he said, forcing a laugh.
She didn’t laugh with him, testament to how difficult this entire situation had become for both of them.
“Before we make this definite, think about what you’re asking,” she said. “What happens when you decide Alix is doing well enough that you can throw me out of her life
again?
” she asked.
He winced at the blunt way she’d phrased her thoughts. Had he been that callous with her? Of course he had. “You’re her aunt. Why don’t we take things one day at a time, as you said?”
Chelsie shook her head. “She’s a child. One who’s lost both parents,” she said gently. “You can’t toss people in and out of her life and expect her to adjust.”
Again he’d underestimated her. When Chelsie cared, she clearly cared deeply. No one had ever focused that sort of emotional attention on him, and Griff had little time or understanding for deep-seated affection. Ryan’s constant friendship and, until recently, Griff’s relationship with his brother’s family were the only exceptions. Thanks to his guardianship of Alix, he’d been thrown into the fire, but it was impossible not to give back to a little girl who gave everything and needed even more. But children were different, unjaded—until they grew up and learned to manipulate.
But here was Chelsie, fighting for her sister’s child, showing love Griff hadn’t even known she had in her. Glancing over, he wondered how it would feel to be the recipient of such unconditional love.
Wonder all you want, buddy. You’ll never know.
He’d been trampled on twice. Only a fool set himself up for a third time.
Still, he admired Chelsie’s foresight. He had only thought as far as bringing her into their lives, not edging her out. For some reason, he didn’t want to dwell on the end of a relationship they hadn’t even begun. “We’ll work things out,” he heard himself say. He had no idea how.
She leaned forward, gesturing with her hands as she spoke. “People aren’t made of stone,
counselor
. They can’t suffer loss upon loss and be expected to cope. You can’t dictate how they live their lives.” She sat back against the couch and crossed her arms over her chest, the defensive position just daring him to argue.
“I won’t deny you future visits once this situation resolves itself,” he assured her.
She nodded slowly. “That’s good. But if I’m going to have any part in this, I need to know I’ll have a say in how things end. That when I stop coming by on an almost daily basis, she won’t think she’s been abandoned again.” Her voice cracked under the strain of her emotions.
He sensed she was talking about herself as well as Alix. Even so, he could understood her point and managed a nod.
But deep down, he knew her request wasn’t that simple. What if he wanted to end their arrangement before she felt it was time? Worse, what if he and Alix weren’t ready when Chelsie decided to call it quits? His mother had walked out. So had Deidre. He looked at the woman sitting across from him, her angular jaw set, her fists clenched, and her dark eyes full of emotion. She already affected him on too many levels. How in the hell had he gotten into this mess?
Alix cried out in her sleep. Griff jumped to his feet, but she’d quieted again. He’d need to check on her in a minute.
“So we’re good?” Chelsie asked.
Leaning against the mantel for support, he focused on the ever-present picture of Jared.
Help me out here, little brother.
No response came.
Griff thought of his niece. Did Chelsie’s ability to hurt him really matter in the grand scheme of things? Hell, yes. Did he have a choice? Absolutely not.
He looked at Chelsie. “You’ll always be important to Alix, her one link to her mother. You’ll get a vote in how things go,” he said with more certainty than he felt.
“Thank you.” Her eyes misted, sparkling with unshed tears.
“You’re welcome.” Griff sensed her reaction went beyond gratitude about their niece. He’d missed an important clue, a key to understanding Chelsie better. But he wasn’t about to push. Alix needed him and they’d covered enough ground for one night. There would be plenty more.
* * *
Chelsie sat across from Mrs. Baxter at the kitchen table. The older woman finished the last of her dinner and placed her napkin down.
“This is the first night Mr. Stuart hasn’t made it home for dinner since I started working here.”
Chelsie smiled. “That’s because his practice is picking up. There’s not a lawyer alive who doesn’t understand the meaning of long hours. Don’t throw your food, sweetie.” She bent to retrieve the vegetables Alix had not so subtly dropped on the floor.
“Well, I’m sure he feels more comfortable staying out knowing you’re here.”
“I’m sure he does.”
Griff probably welcomed the reprieve from the polite formality of the last few evenings.
Please pass the salt. Thanks. Silence. Please pass the potatoes. Thank you.
More silence.
Dessert? None for me, thanks
. Chelsie nearly cringed at the memory. Only Alix had rescued them from freezing around each other completely.
“Since you’ve agreed to come by, he’s much more relaxed. Even Alix senses the change.”
Chelsie arched an eyebrow. Had the older woman slept through the last few evenings? “Relaxed is hardly the word I’d use.” Chelsie redirected Alix’s spoon away from her hair.
“I’m not talking about the cold war you two have set up.” Mrs. Baxter chuckled. “Tension’s been so thick you could cut it with a butter knife.” She patted Chelsie’s hand. “You’ll get used to each other. This arrangement’s a blessing.”