Perfection Is Just an Illusion (Swimming Upstream #1) (21 page)

James was elated that his parents would do this for them; however he was more than annoyed that they had decided that now was the perfect time to bring this up. They weren’t returning to Australia for almost three weeks yet they were already planning what the next step was. All James wanted to concentrate on was what he was going to be doing for the next few hours. “Thanks. That would be great,” the sarcasm dripped off his tongue.

“Before you get too excited. There’s one condition,” Michael interrupted.

“What would that be? Win more gold medals? Break more world records? Be nicer to Joel? What is it? Come on. Spit it out. What’s the condition?” James questioned impatiently.

“You have to leave right now. Go back to the team hotel and stay with them until the meet is over. We don’t want you to risk losing something you have worked so hard for just for a perfect night with your new wife.” James was sent spinning in a state of shock. Were his parents blackmailing him into not walking directly across the hall and climbing into bed with his wife? That was the one thing that he had most been looking forward to all day. Sure the gold medals and world records were great, but he would never again get another wedding night. It was something he had waited for, for years. It was something that he wanted more than anything else. Anna was what he wanted more than anything else.

“Are you really trying to tell me that I can’t get laid by my hot, new wife on my wedding night? You know that Anna and I have put this off until we were married and now that we are married, you still expect me to restrain myself? As much as I don’t want to have this conversation with you, there is something that you need to understand. I don’t think I have the will power to do that. And I don’t want to either,” James snapped bluntly.

“James, you have to swim three heats and possibly two finals tomorrow. Do you really think you can afford to ‘get laid,’ as you so delicately put it? Or do you think you would be better off getting some sleep?” James saw that his mother had a point, but he still couldn’t hide his frustration.

“Okay. Fine. You win. Can I at least go and say goodnight before you banish me?” James was clearly unimpressed with his parents, but he reluctantly agreed.

“I think that would be wise,” Diana agreed. She gave James a kiss on the head, leaving a bright red blaze behind. “Goodnight, son. See you tomorrow.”

James trudged out of the room, closing the door behind him. Standing alone in the corridor, James took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. It was going to take every ounce of strength and will power that he could muster to walk away from Anna tonight. With another deep breath he entered her room.

Entering the room, James called out to her but got no response. He checked the bathroom and the living room, before wandering into the bedroom. Sucking in another deep breath, James saw her. Anna was lying beneath pure white sheets, sleeping soundly. She was completely naked. Her hair was spread out covering one of the pillows and all her curls were sitting perfectly. She looked like an angel from a magazine shoot. Her breathing was steady and constant. She lay facing James, her lips slightly parted.
My Princess. She looks like a dream
, James thought.

He was desperate to wake her. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was. He wanted to touch her. He wanted her to touch him. He knew it was cruel to wake her but that didn’t stop him from wanting to. Something cramped his stomach and made him feel alive. It was the same overwhelming feeling that had consumed him a handful of nights ago. Yet this time it was different. It was more intense. More consuming. More desperate.

He sat down gently on the bed beside her. Carefully he trailed his fingers across her bare shoulders. Her skin was so soft to touch it was almost silky. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the tip of her nose. Her eyes fluttered at his touch but remained closed. He stood up and moved towards the door. With one final look back, the image of what he was giving up burned in his mind forever, he vanished out the door and into the night.

Half an hour later he stumbled into his own hotel room. Tripping over the wet towels thrown haphazardly on the floor, he fell with a thump. Ian woke up instantly. “Sorry, mate,” James apologised, scrambling to his feet.

Ian was half-asleep but that was all he needed to give James a hard time. “What? Did your missus kick you out already? I thought you would have spent the night at her place,” he niggled, giving James a sly smile.

“I don’t do things like that,” James joined in the friendly banter, trying desperately to hide the truth.

“Well, you’re a bigger idiot than I thought. If my wife looked half as hot as yours I would never let her out of my sight. She’s sex on legs.” Ian had completely woken and was now firing at top speed.

“Hey! Watch what you’re saying about my wife.” James laughed.
Bloody bastard’s right, though
, James muttered to himself.
Why the hell did I leave her just to follow a black line? Spending the night with Anna would be much more enjoyable
.

“It’s cool. I’m just saying if it was me, or half the guys in the competition, well, I wouldn’t let that little bag of tricks out of my sight. You’re a very game man,” Ian taunted with a sneaky smile. “Anyway, I need my beauty sleep. See you bright and early.” And with that Ian rolled over and began snoring again.

James spent what little was left of the night tossing and turning. When Ian jumped on him just after six the next morning, he was ready to kill. “Fuck off!” James grumbled. He knew he had to get out of bed but knowing that didn’t make it any easier. Reluctantly he forced himself out of bed and made his way down to the pool and joined the group of men sitting in the stands.

One cocky swimmer from the Netherlands saw him coming. “Looks like someone’s had a big night. Or should I say busy?” All the other swimmers broke out in fits of laughter. James had no idea what they were going on about, but he didn’t have the energy to care. Instead he just dropped his bag at his feet and slumped in his chair.

Chapter 14

Someone thrust the newspaper into his lap. James felt sick. The front page was plastered with a tacky photo of him carrying Anna over his shoulder out of the pool and throwing her in the back of a taxi. But it wasn’t the photo that wasn’t making him queasy, it got worse. The bold headline read, “Champion Swimmer, but who is the girl?” The small print asked more questions than it answered. It was a barrage of intrusive unwelcome questions. They wanted to know who she was, where she was from and what exactly her connection was to James.

James was unable to mask his disgust. His face registered every emotion clearly. The change was immediate. Gone was the fatigue and disinterest to be replaced with rage and anger. Without a word they began stacking the papers haphazardly and stashing them out of sight when Ian joined them. “You seen this one?” Ian said, handing James another. The photo was the same as the others but the headline went too far. “Champion Swimmer takes home gold medal and hooker all in the same night.” Ian dropped his hand to James’s shoulder in a sign of support.

James sprung from his seat and raced across the pool deck, his feet barely touching the ground. The media coordinator, Tom Hanson, had just strode in with Joel. “Excuse me, James. I need to speak with you urgently,” Tom butted in. James didn’t give him a second glance as he continued running. He reached the nearest phone booth, still cursing his dead mobile in the bottom of his bag, and put a call straight through to his mother. After explaining everything, he hung up and drifted back to the others in a daze. Ian had already destroyed every copy in sight.

James’s intense hatred of the English press had just been reaffirmed. He’d always considered them to be an invasive, malicious bunch of quivering cowards, but calling his wife a common prostitute had pushed him too far. He was determined to shut them up once and for all. And he knew the only way to do this: Win. Without hesitation James stripped off and dived in. By the time the others joined him in the water he had already pushed past five hundred metres and was showing no signs of slowing.

***

Diana

Diana raced into Anna’s room, determined to get to her before she saw the papers. She was too late. Anna was sitting on the floor in the centre of her suite, the newspapers scattered before her, not a floorboard in sight. Anna glanced up as Diana entered. Her face was stained from the salty tears streaming down her face. Her dressing gown was damp around the collar and Diana could see the pain and hurt was tearing Anna apart.

“Anna.” Diana squatted down beside her, pushing the papers out of the way. “It’s all okay. It’s going to be fine. I promise,” Diana assured her, stroking her hair. Anna’s body hunched over. Within seconds she’d curled herself into a tiny ball, her head resting in Diana’s lap.

“Why would they say all these horrible things?” Anna sobbed.

“Because they can see how much you mean to James. Everyone can. And they know that James will do anything to protect you,” Diana reassured her. “He loves you. And he would move heaven and earth to protect you. He’s on his way. I promise you, he will fix this. You know James.” Anna couldn’t retain the snort and her gut wrenching sobs.

Half an hour later Anna had cried herself to sleep in Diana’s arms. Even a knock at the door could not wake the sleeping beauty. Michael entered, carrying a steaming cup of coffee for Diana. He couldn’t hide the surprise from his eyes. Anna looked exhausted, weak, and broken, lying there in Diana’s lap.

James arrived soon after. His father met him in the corridor as James was running up the stairs. “How is she?” James asked hastily.

“Honestly, I don’t know. She’s asleep in your mother’s lap. I think she was pretty devastated about what they wrote. It was pretty nasty. They really are heartless bastards, aren’t they?” Michael asked rhetorically as he led James towards Anna’s room.

***

James

James walked in and still Anna didn’t stir. Silently he squatted on the floor, and kissed his mother with thanks. Carefully he slid his leg under Anna’s head and helped Diana untangle herself. Still Anna didn’t stir. “Could you just give us a minute?” James smiled, but his eyes begged. Michael helped Diana to her feet before gathering all the papers and abandoning them in the trash on the way out the door.

James was reluctant to wake her. It caused him physical pain to wake her. But James knew that it was up to him to reassure his new wife that he was in no way going to tolerate this shit. He wouldn’t let anyone treat her like that, ever. He shook her shoulder lightly and she began to stir, but still she didn’t wake. Eventually, after some gentle shaking, Anna bumbled to life. As her eyes took in her surroundings and she shook off the blurred vision, Anna’s shock made James smile. James didn’t care. Anna was smiling and even though it looked like it had been painted on it didn’t matter.

“Hey gorgeous. How you holding up?” James asked, running his fingers through her hair distractedly. His big brown eyes were apologetic and his tone was filled with sincerity.

“I’ve had better days,” she answered honestly. Anna started to sit up before dismissing the idea and collapsing back into James’s lap. “I just…I don’t understand why they would say that…that horrible stuff. I mean…it’s bullshit,” Anna’s cried as the tears came on again.

“I know why they said those things…” James started. Anna sat bolt upright, her eyes were wide as James watched as the wave of ‘what the fuck are you talking about’ washed over her. “They said all that because I refused to talk. I wouldn’t play their game. I wouldn’t give them what they wanted. I thought our private life was exactly that. Our private life. I was not willing to jeopardise us for anyone.” James’s lopsided grin sent goose bumps all over her skin.

“So, what do we do?” Anna squeezed James’s hand as if it was her lifeline. He could hear the desperation in her plea.

“Well, it’s your call. We can confess that we’re married and be at their mercy. We can tell them we’re just friends and lie to ourselves. We can tell them that we’re dating. Or we can tell them that we’re engaged. The other option is we say nothing and let them keep printing whatever rubbish that they want. It’s your call. Whatever you want to do, I’ll do,” James’s honesty was admirable.

“I don’t want to hurt you…” Anna blubbered.

Grabbing her hands in his, James looked Anna straight in the eye. “Nothing you say is going to hurt me, Anna. I can promise you that.”

“But…”

“It’s okay. Just tell me what you want to do. Whatever it is, we’ll be okay.” His long arms wrapped around her scared and crumpled body. James never wanted to let her go and this was the only way he knew how to show her that no matter what she decided, he was there.

“I think,” Anna gulped, “that I would like to say that we’re engaged. And it’s not because I don’t want the whole world to know that we’re married, it’s just…Well, my family doesn’t even know yet. And I don’t want them to find out on the six o’clock news.” Anna’s face was full of panic and her eyes full of worry.

James could sense her fear. It was paralysing her. He felt her tense and stiffen in his arms. “I get it, Anna. I promise, I do. And I think that you’ve made the right decision. That way we aren’t lying to the world or ourselves. They just don’t know the full truth. I’m happy with that. I mean, if you are.” Anna didn’t answer; she just smiled a wide, relieved smile and kissed him.

They sat there, wrapped up in each other for half an hour, ironing out the details. James knew that for this to come off the way he wanted it to, the planning had to be flawless. And when he explained what was going to happen to his parents, he could read the pride in their eyes. James explained how they had taken everything into consideration and come up with what they saw as the only diplomatic answer. James kissed Anna goodbye reluctantly and returned to the pool.

***

Anna

Anna couldn’t sit still. Somehow their hiding place had been revealed and the British media had swarmed and were now blocking the front gate. Luckily, they were kept behind locked gates of the castle grounds, which gave Anna the illusion of freedom, even if it was misplaced. Anna wandered down to the brook in total privacy, or so she thought.

She walked down the cobblestone path, just as she had done every day since her arrival. It was her favourite place in world and she didn’t really mind that she was being held hostage in it. She almost slipped on one of the mossy stepping stones, but managed to keep her balance. Just. Being down at the brook in complete silence gave her time to think; the time and space she craved. Sitting down, with the snow still falling from the sky, Anna realised the full extent of what she was putting James through. Overwhelmed with guilt, Anna ran back to the castle as fast as her legs could carry her. As soon as she reached her room, Anna was dialling James’s number frantically. No answer.

***

James

Later that evening, James walked out with the rest of the contestants for his two hundred final. For the first time in the Championships James had not progressed as the fastest qualifier. The time he had set in the semi-final had placed him third, behind a swimmer from Italy and another from the Netherlands. Anna sat in the stands. She didn’t make a sound. She didn’t move a muscle. James was introduced and a frenzied roar of excitement echoed through the arena.

With the sound of the buzzer, racing was under way. James led from the start. By the hundred-metre mark James’s picture perfect face covered the big screen. Then as Anna held her breath with trepidation, the camera panned around the stands before stopping on her. She froze in disbelief or maybe it was just in shock. When Anna finally took a breath, text scrolled across the bottom of the screen. ‘Who is she?’ flashed for everyone to see. Anna’s head dropped in shame as the cheers intensified. Moments later James touched the wall. Tonight he was going home with not only a gold medal but also a world record. James had beaten the rest of the field by over a second.

He emerged from the pool bathed in victory. Without hesitation he saluted the crowd with his trademark wave. Before James even had a chance to take a deep breath cameras and microphones surrounded him. Questions began bombarding him.

“That was a remarkable swim James, how do you feel?”

“Did you know that you could go that fast?”

“How much faster do you think you can you go?”

James answered all the questions diplomatically with a fake smile plastered across his face. It was his trademark wide smile and it seemed that only Anna knew it was fake.

James spun on his heel and headed towards the change rooms. Without thinking, he glanced up in the stands and saw Anna pointing to the screen as discreetly as she could manage. The same image flashed again: Anna’s stunned face and the question that seemed to be following her every foot step. ‘Who is she?’

Then an even cheekier question emerged. As a reporter stuck a microphone into his chest, he dared to ask it. “James. Who’s the girl we are seeing you pop up with all over town?” James glared down at him.

“That beautiful young woman who is gracing the covers of every newspaper in town, and who has everyone in this arena whispering is my fiancée, Anna White. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to change,” James stated proudly.

The arena fell silent. Once James was out of sight, the whispers returned. One young lady sitting behind Anna started screaming, “She’s here. Here she is.” She pointed at Anna. As quickly as possible, Anna fled. Before she knew what was happening, she was being mobbed. People were requesting her autograph and guys were asking for her phone number. Hands were grabbing at her. All the pushing and shoving overcame Anna as she stumbled to the ground. Neither Anna nor James knew that the declaration of Anna’s identity would cause chaos. Diana and Michael were unable to get to her. Anna lay helpless on the steps. Despite her fight, Anna was struggling to get to her feet. Another knock from an unsuspecting knee to her ribs, and Anna gasped for breath.

James fought his way through the crowd graciously, accepting the pats on the back and congratulations from random strangers. Eventually he reached Anna’s side and scooped her up. She was shaking and wheezing, trying to catch her breath. James carried her down from the stands and hoisted her over the barricades before dropping her into Justin and Ian’s awaiting arms. Quickly Ian deposited Anna into the back of an awaiting ambulance. James, still scantily clad in his barely there Speedo, climbed into the ambulance and held her hand tightly. Anna had lost consciousness and James was already praying to a God he didn’t believe in.

The next morning James and Anna emerged hand in hand from the hospital and faced the awaiting media. James read unemotionally from a short, prepared statement. “We’d like to take this opportunity to beg for some privacy. Anna’s doing fine; she merely fainted during all the commotion yesterday. We will be married upon our return to Australia and for now I would just like to get back to the pool and try to continue to swim well for the rest of the week. Thank you.” Without even giving them the opportunity to ask a question they were ushered into the back of a car and whisked away.