Authors: Tara Fuller
He turned his face towards me, keeping his fist wrapped around the knife, frozen in midair, ready to strike. Max didn’t even fight back. Instead he curled up into a fetal position and trembled.
“Rowan he–”
“He wasn’t going to hurt me.” I was surprised at the words coming out of my own mouth. “Right Max? You came to apologize. Right?”
He lifted his face up and nodded, his eyes locking with mine. Confusion flitted across Alex’s face.
“He was on top of you Rowan,” Alex said.
“He just wants it to stop. Whatever you did, make it stop.”
He stared back at me silently, understanding filling his face.
“I’m not asking you. I’m telling you Alex. Make it stop. I know you can.” I nodded to Max’s crumpled body.
“But he hurt you,” Alex said, his voice barely audible.
“Someone once told me that forgiveness is divine.”
His hand trembled and he looked almost ethereal, illuminated by the silvery moonlight that blanketed the yard. The wind whipped between us and I could feel it carrying his uncertainty towards me. Then with a nod and a wavering resolve in his eyes he flipped the knife shut and slipped it into his pocket, then lowered himself down beside Max and placed his hand across his forehead. Max flinched at his touch, then relaxed against the ground and began to breathe deeply, his fingers gripping the earth beneath them. Alex’s voice started soft, slow but quickly took on the steady drumbeat of a chant.
“Let the dreams that plague this mind, be gone for good and left behind,” Alex whispered completing his chant. Max squirmed under his touch. Then after a moment Alex pushed away from him, fighting for breath.
Max blinked and scrambled to his feet. He rubbed his forehead as a hysterical laugh slipped past his lips.
“It’s gone. I can…feel it.” His face abruptly fell into a scowl when his eyes connected with Alex. “It’s gone right? Whatever you did. It won’t come back?”
Alex shook his head. “Not unless you touch her again. And if that happens, I promise you that you’ll wish for those nightmares after what I do to you.” His voice was low and his eyes flashed. Max stumbled back as if he’d struck him physically.
“Rowan, I’m sorry. For everything,” Max stuttered before he turned on his heels and bolted for the street. We stood there in silence watching him disappear over the paved hill, and then Alex’s hands were on my shoulders.
“Are you all right?” His voice was barley a whisper, and I fought against the warmth fizzling through me. There was too much to talk about to get caught up in the moment. I spun around to face him.
“It wasn’t a trick. You put a spell on him.” I didn’t have to ask. I already knew the answer, but Alex nodded his head anyway. “Is it really gone now? He won’t have the nightmares anymore?” I placed my hands on my hips, and suddenly felt like Mom. It was the exact stance she would take when scolding me as kid. I let my fingers fall down to my sides as the sadness of the memory swept through me.
“It’s gone. I swear.” He took a step back, and for the first time since I’d met him I was thankful for the distance between us.
A cloud had meandered across the sky and now partially blocked the moonlight so that I could only see a shadow where Alex’s warm face should be.
“Did you find the ring?” he asked from the shadows. I wondered if he could see me. If he wanted to touch me? I curled my fingers at my side, refusing to give into the temptation.
“Yes.”
“And the note?”
“Yes.”
My thumb ran across the ring on my finger and his words from the note echoed through my mind.
“You believe it, you believe me.” He said it more like an observation as he took a step closer and I knew he must be able to read my face. The confusion, the longing, the pain and realization that we could never really be together like I thought.
I nodded unable to speak and he closed the gap between us and took me in his arms.
“I just want to go to bed. I-I can’t think about all of this right now. I feel…I feel…” My legs wobbled, my vision blurred. Alex scooped me up into his arms and started towards the house.
“It’s the magic you used on him. You shouldn’t have practiced so soon after going through the gateway. You’re drained.” He snuck in through the front door and eased up the stairs. I grabbed my head where a steady pound was making itself known. When we got to my room we didn’t say another word. Instead Alex lay in my bed and opened his arms to me. I refused to think about my impossible world. Our impossible situation. Instead I burrowed down into the safety and warmth of Alex’s embrace.
“Rowan, are you okay?” Alex whispered. “You’re shaking.”
“It hurts.” I managed to get out. I looked up into his eyes and the world began to spin. And not in a good way. My blood was pumping too fast, my breath coming in too shallow. Pain wasn’t just something I felt. It was a thing, living inside of me, taking over. It was too much. I needed to shut down. I needed to- I couldn’t finish the thought. My mind quietly obeyed my last command and everything went dark.
“Rowan?” The sound of Alex’s voice was muffled. Like I was under water, but with each breath it was getting clearer, closer. I couldn’t see him but I could feel his fingers in my hair, and I could smell the familiar scent of the lilac fabric softener that Grams liked to use radiating from my sheets.
I ran my hand across the cool fabric of my pillowcase as my eyes opened. It was dark. For some reason I had the brief feeling of not knowing where I was, but when I looked up to see Alex it all became clear. Too clear.
“Alex?” I scrambled to sit up, my heart pounding in my chest. Had it all been a dream? Was it real? I was almost too embarrassed to ask. As if he could read my thoughts Alex slipped his arm around my waist and scooted closer to me.
“You fell asleep.”
I leaned back against the headboard and closed my eyes. This was too much. The most complicated boy problem I’d ever had was Riley Cooper. He was a senior and too cute for words. But after three dates it was obvious where his priorities were. He liked to party and I didn’t. He wanted sex and I didn’t. End of story. And now I was dating a boy from…1692? I couldn’t possibly be remembering right. I must have hit my head.
“Do you want me to go? I understand if you do,” he whispered.
I opened my eyes and stared back at him. Would this be the last time he held me? Would it be the last time I would see him? If what Alex said was true then they could catch him at anytime. If that happened I knew I’d never see him again. He wouldn’t get a slap on the wrist for this. He’d die for it. He’d die for these moments with me. I couldn’t believe that. I shook my head mechanically from side to side. “No. Please don’t go.”
I reached out to grab his arm and he sighed. He closed his eyes and it sounded like relief.
“I must be crazy,” I said. I wondered if insanity was a side effect of grief. I tried to laugh but it hurt too badly. If it were at all possible I was even sorer than I’d been that afternoon.
Alex studied the expression on my face and leaned in to kiss my forehead.
“I’m sorry. I’m so used to it now; I forgot how painful it can be the first few times. It’s very disorienting. I can’t even imagine what it’s like when you don’t know what’s happening.”
I nodded, barely remembering now the frightening way I had apparently stumbled into the “gateway” as Alex called it. I grinned. I felt like Alice falling into the rabbit hole. He looked at me curiously but I decided not to explain. Surely a boy from 1692 wouldn’t get references to Alice in Wonderland.
“You have questions I’m sure,” he said like he was preparing for a firing squad. He sat straight up and waited but I shook my head. I did have questions but there was no way I could take any more today.
“Yes, but not right now. I can’t even think straight.” I rubbed my forehead where the pain was pulsating like a drumbeat.
“Is your head hurting?” he asked.
I nodded. It was strange. I’d never had a headache right in the center of my forehead. I wondered if I’d bumped it.
Alex pulled my hand away and placed his palm over it. “That happens sometimes,” he said, and I assumed he was referring to the whole time travel thing. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
“What are you doing?”
“If you’ll be still I’ll fix your headache,” he said, rubbing his hand in a circular motion. I closed my eyes and gasped as his palm heated up to an inhuman temperature. The heat felt like liquid metal dissolving into my skin. Then, with a gentle tugging sensation, it was gone. He pulled his hand away and shook it like it was numb.
“Better?” He smiled.
“Yeah. It is,” I said in disbelief. “So, another trick of the trade?”
“Yes.”
“And the trade is witchcraft?”
He grinned. “Yes.”
“But isn’t witchcraft…evil?” I felt stupid immediately after I’d asked. I was no better than the people that Grams told me about, the same ones that tormented my mother, fearing what I didn’t fully understand.
“No.” He sounded offended. “We believe in the three fold law, Rowan. If any witch uses magic to cause harm to another then that evil will come back three fold onto them. We don’t use magic to hurt people. More to help them if we can.” He stopped to study my expression.
“What about what you did to Max?” What had
I
done to Max? My hands started to tremble just thinking about the power that bled from my palms.
Staring down at the bedspread, he mumbled, “I shouldn’t have done that. I just lost control when I thought about what he was going to do to you.”
“Well you took it back, so I guess you’re not exactly a bad witch are you?” I teased, surprised I was able to be lighthearted about the whole thing.
He shrugged. “I try not to be.” He, averted his gaze to the open window. A soft breeze was wafting into the room, bringing with it the smell of the ocean and cedar. The curtains looked like they were dancing against the moonlight.
“But there are others. It may sound a little melodramatic to you. But there is dark magic, and there are those who choose to wield it. My mother wasn’t one of those. But never doubt that they exist, that evil exists.” His voice trailed off into a whisper as he stared stoically out the window. He looked lost, afraid and all I wanted to do in that moment was take him in my arms and keep him safe forever.
“Alex,” I said softly. He turned and smiled and my heart ached. No, I could not live a life without that smile.
“Don’t go back.” My voice broke as I pleaded. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him close, desperate to feel him against me.
He leaned his forehead against mine and sighed. “I have to Rowan.”
“No you don’t. Grams would let you stay here. I know she would.” I put both hands on the side of his face and forced him to look at me. “You could stay with me.”
“I don’t belong here.” He pulled away.
“You belong with me. Nothing else matters. They can’t hurt you if you don’t go back.” And I knew in that moment that it was true. He was a part of my soul. My soul-mate if such a thing existed. And when I looked at Alex, when his eyes burned down to my core, how could I not believe that they existed? That he wasn’t destined to be my other half?
“Rowan don’t do this. I told you we’d have to say goodbye someday–”
“Not today. Today is not that day Alex.” My heartbeat pounded in my eardrums.
His eyes were a cloudy blue as they met mine. He finally nodded. “Not today.”
He leaned in and I squeezed my eyes shut to hold the tears in as his mouth crushed against mine. His lips were smooth and hard for an instant, but he pulled away before I could dissolve into the kiss.
“I have to go,” he whispered.
“No.” My heart leapt and when it dropped I could feel it landing in the pit of my stomach.
He placed his hand on my shoulder to steady me.
“I’ll be back. I swear,” he promised, but we both knew it was an empty promise that he couldn’t keep if the time came.
“How could you want to go back there?”
“I already told you, I have responsibilities,” he almost shouted, his voice angry. We both stopped and glanced to the door. After a minute of silence had ensured that my grandparents weren’t up, he continued. “If I leave her there to carry out her plans people will die Rowan. Their blood will be on my hands. I have to be there to keep her in control.,” he whispered.