Permanent Adhesives (17 page)

Elias kept bouncing his knee, so I put my hand on top of it, so he’d stop because it was driving me crazy. I left my hand there probably longer than need be to stop someone’s knee from bouncing, and Elias once again glanced at me, then at his knee. He took a deep breath putting his hand on top of mine. I interlaced our fingers, and we sat hand in hand until we got to our stop. When we got up to exit the train, Elias let his hand fall from mine, but when we got back down to the sidewalk under the dingy viaduct that smelled like urine, I grabbed his hand again. We walked out from under the viaduct and down the street that still had a few cars on it despite the fact that most normal people were asleep at that hour. A few blocks and some stoplights later we arrived in front of my building. We stood at the bottom of the cement steps that adorned the front of my living establishment. I grabbed Elias’ other hand which was quite cold, and the two of us stood face-to-face, our noses just inches from each other.

“Thanks for coming out and helping me tonight and with everything,” I said.

“My pleasure,” Elias mumbled, looking down.

“Thanks.”

“Welcome.”

“Thanks.”

Elias finally looked up again and smiled. That’s when I leaned forward and kissed him because I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to get around to doing it. So you know, I didn’t do a lot of kissing. I only had one boyfriend before and besides that the only other guy I ever kissed was Dave Betters in fifth grade at our fake wedding in which all of our stuffed animals attended, and once Kate, just because, and she actually told me I was a good kisser, but anyways, I didn’t have much to go on, but that kiss with Elias seemed pretty much perfect.

The next morning, or well, about five hours later, I was awoken by my sister beating me with a pillow.

Janie shoved her phone in my face. It took me a second to come out of my fog from sleeping, but when my eyes decided to focus I realized she was showing me a picture. It was one of a small electrical box with a Sasha Santiago sticker on.

“Is this yours?” she asked.

“That’s my character, yes. Where did you see that?” I asked, hugging my lumpy comforter that was covered in colorful hearts.

“Up by work.”

“My stickers made it all the way over there?”

“So you did this?”

“No, somebody else must have. It’s part of a
Society of Prodigious Superbness
campaign I have going on.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Just spreading the word.”

“Okay then, whatever.”

Janie left not wanting to deal with me. I pulled myself out of bed to get going for school. Part of me was feeling quite happy that people were actually sticking up my stickers. Was I heading up a citywide vandalism campaign? Maybe, but it was starting to get fun. Part of me was also feeling happy about Elias, but then there was this tugging in my gut that was bringing down my high. As I was getting ready to leave there was a knocking on the front door. I opened it to find Elias bouncing on his toes, like really bouncing like he was trying to get ready to spring up somewhere.

“Hey,” he said, smiling. “Wanna ride to school?”

I looked down the steps where Elias’ bike was leaning up against them.

“Sure.”

“Awesome!”

“You had energy drinks for breakfast didn’t ya?”

“Yep.” He then gave me a quick kiss on the lips and bounded down the steps.

I hopped up on the back pegs of his bike, and Elias started pedaling down the sidewalk, veered to the left across the strip of grass, and squeezed us between two cars, hopping off the curb into the street. He rode down the block, waited for the light, took a left, and started for school. One thing I could say about Elias Bickler is that he had some endurance. Granted, school was only like a mile away, but still, he had my extra weight and yet sped and bobbed and weaved us through traffic and got us there in no time. As we rode, the tugging in my stomach tried taking over again.

“I think that was faster than taking the bus,” I said as he locked up his bike at the bike rack behind school.

“That’s cuz it is. I ride until it snows.”

“Well, thanks for the ride.”

“Well, thanks for riding with me.”

We walked up the sidewalk to school together and followed a small stream of our peers inside. I poked Elias in the side as we walked up the steps. He bit his lip and looked at me, then down at my hand. I scratched the tip of my nose. He was probably thinking, hey, I just kissed you this morning. Oh, and don’t forget last night. Oh, and I gave you a ride to school, and now you won’t hold my hand and just poke me in the side you weird girl. But I was thinking, yes I kissed him and it did seem perfect, with another quick kiss in the morning, and I was so happy about it all last night and maybe the happy was lingering when I woke up, but then my lighthearted happy feelings got stomped on by that feeling in my gut and my thoughts because it wasn’t just that long ago where I was so mad that I thought I hated him, so herein is where my problem lied—did I waltz in school holding hands and kissing and showing everybody that we might have been together, but weren’t really too sure because it was just the night before when we started kissing each other and really hadn’t discuss it yet, but then I didn’t know if I wanted to address the situation because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be fully together with him? My mind was going in every which direction, so I just grabbed his jacket sleeve and pulled him through the doorway of school with me. As we walked down the hall, I gave an exploding fist bump to Dean, who came from the opposite direction wearing an awesome striped sweater vest, and then I gave out a couple
what’s ups
here and there.

“Uh, my locker’s on the second floor,” Elias said, stopping at the bottom of a pair of stairs.

“Okay.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked at the ground.

“See ya at lunch,” I lamely said.

“Sure,” he answered with a slight frown. Any sign of his energy drink all but vanished.

I gave a little wave as he started up the stairs. I was tempted to give him a hug or a kiss, but held back. From his sullen
sure
I’m pretty certain he was hoping my actions would have been more affectionate. I was just still so hesitant. I should have kept it simple. Why did I have to go and kiss him? I took the next hall right, then hung another right and a left to get to the short hall where my locker was. Kate was already leaning up against the locker next to mine waiting for me.

“Whadup?” she asked as I unlocked my locker.

“I’m not sure exactly.”

Kate twisted her lips to the side. “Huh?”

“Well, last night Elias and I went out and…”

“On a date!” Kate said excitedly, standing up straight and clapping the tips of her fingers together.

“No, wheat pasting.”

“Is that code word for something dirty?”

“No,” I said, laughing. “We were gluing up posters, but…”

“You guys did it anyways,” Kate said, putting finger quotes around
it
.

“No, we just kissed.”

“Really?” Kate said, punching me in the shoulder.

“Yes and ow.”

“Well?”

“Well, I dunno, he gave me a quick kiss this morning before we left for school.”

“He spent the night!”

“No, my word, will you let me finish a sentence. He picked me up and gave me a ride, but it’s like I’m not too sure if I just want to leave our relationship status as is, or as something more.”

“He’s your boyfriend now, so act accordingly. Make out in the halls, touch each other, do things under the bleachers.”

“Just cuz we kissed does not mean he’s my boyfriend, and I’m not doing anything under the bleachers and…”

“And whatever, I said he’s your boyfriend, so there, and none of your
anding
and
self-doubting
and your
am I doing the right thinging
, trust me.”

“I still have my reservations about him, and then I dunno, I’m a tad worried it’ll just feel weird in front of…”

“Your army of nerds? They’re nerds, who cares? Brian and Reynaldo just don’t like Elias cuz they want you to themselves. You’re like nerd crack.”

“Be nice, even if they’re nerds, which they’re all not, their feelings still need to be accounted for.”

“Whatever, you’re just making excuses. You and Elias like each other. Get over whatever reservations you may have about him, and who cares what the world thinks, or what happened with you two. Live in the now.”

I smiled at Kate, “You are a wise one.” I closed my locker and pointed a finger at her. “Nerd crack, I like that. Ooh, that would make a good tee-shirt.”

“Oh and speaking of crack, well, cracks, as in butt cracks, I’ll be seeing Brian’s.”

“What, eww, gross.”

“I really am painting him naked. He’s coming over to my house on Saturday.”

“Won’t your—”

“My mom works all day Saturday, and I’m painting a naked nerd.”

“Why do you keep—”

“Interrupting you? I’m working on being extra intuitive. I’m thinking of being like a psychic detective or something as a career possibility in case being a world-renowned painter of naked people doesn’t pan out.”

“You are so weird, but I guess it’s good to have a backup plan.”

*************************

At the end of the day I found Elias by my locker. He was chewing on his nails and standing on the outside of his feet. He saw me coming and gave me a head nod. “Gotta work tonight.”

“Okay, thinking of going to the art store myself.” I opened my locker to throw my books inside, but took nothing out. It felt like a no homework night. I think I mentioned before, I wasn’t the best at keeping up with it. I wasn’t what you would call a stellar student, mainly because I never did my homework. I pretty much held a C average, even in art. My art teacher never gave me anything higher, seriously. I had art four years in a row, and it was constantly a C, so therefore I was never able to take A.P. art and that always really irritated me. The art teachers at my school had some secret vendetta against me. Maybe I unconsciously made sucky work in art class, but art class was generally boring. I didn’t enjoy drawing still life’s and self-portraits.

After I slipped on my ski vest and hat, I grabbed Elias’ hand, and we walked out the back doors to his bike. Even if we were in relationship limbo, I figured I could at least do that—hold his hand.

“So can you actually do tricks on this thing?” I asked, trying to control the conversation from focusing on a certain subject.

“Kinda, well I used to, or attempted, then I fell on my face, and that was enough.” Elias seemed to grasp that I was skirting around talking about us and went along with the conversation I started.

“Hurt?”

“Not really, I actually broke my nose, but didn’t really know it was broken, and I told my mom it hurt, and she called me a dumbass, and this is what my face now looks like.”

“It looks nice.”

“Okay, sure.”

“It does. You have a very nice face.”

“As do you.”

“I know.”

Elias elbowed me.

“So your mom showed no concern that you smashed your face in?”

“Nope, and I didn’t know that some broken noses need to be re-set. I was in eighth grade at the time ya know, so I’m thinking mine needed to be cuz look at it.” He then sighed and started fiddling with a pocket on his field jacket.

I pinched the top of his nose where it went kinda awry. “This isn’t totally the same thing, but kinda goes with the whole mom’s not showing concern for their child. But this one time my mom wanted me to do some kinda chore, like wash the dishes or something, and I didn’t jump at her word, and it made her mad, so she took a wooden spoon from the kitchen utensil holder thingy and cracked me in the top of the head with it, and it really hurt, seriously.”

“Oh, no, I believe it. Kitchen utensils do hurt, especially the wooden ones. What’s with moms’ and hitting their children with kitchen utensils?”

“I dunno, they’re crazy.”

Elias nodded, agreeing with me.

“But I started crying and I coulda sworn my head was bleeding, but it wasn’t cuz I checked, so I’m all crying and stuff and my mom’s like, do the damn dishes.”

Elias scratched his head. “Ya think it’s just our moms, or do all secretly beat their children with kitchen utensils?” he asked with total seriousness.

“I hope it’s just our moms’ cuz there’d be something really wrong with the world if it was regarded as normal.”

Elias threw me half a smile and brushed his hair out of his eyes and looked at me intently with his lips pursed. He grabbed my other hand and swung my arms a little. I’m sure he was waiting to see how I’d respond and maybe if I’d acknowledge our kissing. He looked so sweet and playful, but yet kind of sad all at the same time, and my heart fell a little because I’m sure what I was doing to him wouldn’t qualify as nice, but I couldn’t help it. I was so confused.