Permanent Lines (14 page)

Like it always did when I saw her, my body froze. Every ounce of me was pulled into
her direction. Not one thing or person in the bar existed. I didn’t even hear the
music anymore. When it came to Amelia, she was the only person in the room. She stole
it all. She stole everything that made me the person I was.

But this Amelia, the one standing in front of me, wasn’t the same one I fell in love
with. She looked scared, frightened to be here—like she was in an unfamiliar place
she wasn’t at all comfortable being in. I couldn’t understand it. We spent an amazing
night in this bar, we shared so many amazing memories that weekend that all began
right here. It was our bar.

I swallowed hard and snapped out of my trance, tossing down the rag that I was vigorously
wiping the bar with. I closed the distance between us in long strides, but when we
were toe to toe, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to lift her up and hold her in
my arms and never let her go. I didn’t care about being such a pussy. I loved her
a dangerous fucking amount. It was something hard—violent—not normal to one’s system.
I wanted to keep her.

She spoke first, cutting off the turbulent thoughts consuming my brain. “I can’t stay
that long.” Her voice was almost a whisper.

I looked her over, trying to gather answers. Her appearance, scent, and everything
physical was exactly how I remembered her, but her confidence, her stance, the way
her body seemed weak, sad, and frightened—that wasn’t my Amelia. I searched for answers
in my head of what could’ve changed, what could’ve happened while we were apart, because
even with the little time we spent together, I knew that this wasn’t her—this wasn’t
the person she truly was. How she was that weekend, the weekend that my life turned
upside down, that was Amelia … that was her.

“You’re scaring me,” I said with complete honesty. I
was
scared. It was something I wasn’t often or would ever openly admit to being, but seeing
Amelia the way she was … I was scared shitless.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m not good for you, Merrick. You need
to understand that. I’ve got—”

I pulled her into my chest, not listening to a damn thing more that she had to say.
Fuck that!
She wasn’t
good
for me … she was perfect. She was everything I had ever wanted. “Don’t even say that,”
I told her, my face nestled into her hair. “I will never let you believe that’s true.”

Her body collapsed in my arms. I could feel it trembling; she was crying. I held her
tight, rubbing my hands along her back. There wasn’t a damn thing that would make
me let her go—she wasn’t going anywhere ever again.

She continued to cry for however long she wanted to. I was there for her just like
I always would be; no matter how long we had been separated, we would always survive.
We were cacti—what we had would never die.

Old Man Rich and a few other regulars patted my shoulder before exiting. They had
no clue who Amelia was or what had happened between us, but they knew damn well that
it was time to go, and they did without hesitation or being asked, emptying the bar
to just Amelia and I.

I let her go for the second it took to turn the sign to “closed” and flip the lights
off. I locked the door with a resounding click. There was no fucking way one more
person was going to get in the way of my time with Amelia.

When I returned to where she was standing, I picked her up off her feet, not saying
a word. Her legs wrapped around my waist and her head rested on my shoulder. She was
weak … limp. I would care for her. I would fix whatever was broken. I would rid whatever
discomfort lay between us. I was done living without her. I was done worrying what
went wrong, because being here, with Amelia in my arms, I knew damn well nothing went
wrong. She loved me just as much as I loved her, but something was holding her back;
something was keeping her from loving me the way she should, and I was going to figure
that out. I was going to figure it out and get it the fuck out her life.

Nothing would stand in my way.

We lay facing each other in my bed, arms and legs intertwined, not speaking. I wanted
her to feel the comfort being together provided. I wouldn’t talk until she was ready.
I was perfectly fine just lying there, smelling her scent and running my fingers through
her long, dark hair. Time stopped when I was with Amelia. Nothing else in the world
mattered. Having her safe and by my side was all that I cared about at the moment,
but then that sinking feeling came. Why couldn’t she be here? What would happen? Is
someone following her? If I were to keep her here and safe forever, I needed to know
what I was up against. I didn’t like to go in blind. I needed to know the battle I
was about to fight.

Her body must have sensed the change in mine, since all of a sudden I went stiff,
enraged. She looked at me with a mix of confusion and fear, like something happened.
I had a feeling she was always on alert. “What’s wrong?” she asked quietly.

“I need to know, baby,” I said, stroking her cheek. “I need to know what’s kept you
from me.”

She closed her eyes and took another deep breath before running her hand through her
hair like she was contemplating what to tell me or maybe where to start. I waited
anxiously, my blood running with so many emotions I couldn’t keep up or begin to explain
how I felt. I was just there … ready.

She moved to a sitting position, her legs crossed Indian style. She exhaled before
beginning. “I’m involved in some bad shit,” she started, looking at me with pain but
honesty in her eyes.

The information wasn’t a surprise. I knew whatever it was wouldn’t be stellar. I was
prepared. I just needed to know the rest. I’d been through shit. Lived in shit. I
was used to shit. Not many things in this world would shock me or intimidate me in
any way. I wasn’t raised with a cookie cutter life. I fought for what I had and had
some rough stories that got me to where I was today. I’d been around the block. I
wasn’t scared. The only thing that scared me was losing Amelia again. Nothing would
make me leave. Nothing could be bad enough to make me walk away. I was there. No matter
what.

“My boyfriend …”

My heart sank. It was like the world below me dropped out from underneath my feet.
I sat bolt upright.
She had a fucking boyfriend?
How could she have a boyfriend and love me at the same fucking time?

“Not by choice!” she was quick to continue, noticing my blood begin to boil.

My nerves settled slightly, but not much. “What does that even mean?” I asked, but
not kindly. I wasn’t yelling or even accusing her of anything, but I wasn’t thrilled,
that’s for damn sure, and had no clue what the fuck she was talking about.

“At one point, I did,” she clarified. “I thought I loved him. I even thought he was
the one,” she swallowed, “but then I found out what he was into, his family secret,
and how he made the money he did.”

I didn’t respond, just watched her and listened.

“At that point, by the time I found out, there was no way out. I wouldn’t be able
to leave even if I wanted to. He controlled me.”

“That’s impossible. You always have the choice to leave, Amelia. He had you brainwashed,
babe.”

Her eyes welled with tears as she shook her head. “No, not with Antonio,” she said.

I could feel the unease in her words. She was scared; he was obviously a dangerous
man. I could tell by the tone of her voice. I just didn’t know how dangerous or what
it was that he was a part of.

“Once you were involved,” she repeated, sighing, “once you knew, there was no getting
out.”

I rested my hand on her leg, rubbing it for comfort. “Tell me. What is he involved
in?”

She closed her eyes and exhaled again. She didn’t want to tell me. “Merrick,” she
opened her eyes, looking at me through the pain, “I can’t let you get tangled up in
this.” She shook her head. “It’s too dangerous. I won’t do that to you …” Her voice
faded briefly. “I care too much about you.”

Placing my hands on both sides of her face, I made her look at me. “There’s
nothing
I wouldn’t do for you. I’m already involved. I’m already in. Being without you isn’t
an option. I tried that—it didn’t work.”

We stared at each other for only a moment before all control was lost. I couldn’t
handle another second without my lips on hers. I sank into the kiss, into Amelia.
She was perfection, flawless in my eyes, and she tasted just as fucking good as her
body felt. Her hands felt amazing creeping up my back and underneath my shirt. Her
skin touching mine was enough for me to lose my shit right then and there, but it’d
been too long. I was savoring her. I was relishing this moment. It would go on forever;
I would never let it end.

By the time her hands gripped the back of my shoulders, I needed her below me. She
sighed beneath my lips, already slowly resting her back down into the comfort of my
bed. Her hands slid down my spine while one of mine rested by her head, the other
traveling down her side, taking in the curves of her body. Our mouths separated while
my hand worked with a mind of its own, slipping up under her shirt and cupping her
breast below it. A low moan of pleasure escaped her mouth at the sensation, making
me move my mouth to the side of her face, grazing it with my lips along the way. By
the time I reached her ear, her body was already squirming below me, making my cock
grow to full hardness, ready to be inside my baby again. But I couldn’t. Not yet.

Skimming the perimeter of her ear with my lips, I breathed, “I’m so in love with you.”
They were words that held heavy meaning, but I said them without a scent of regret
or falseness. I loved Amelia more than words could say, and I needed her to believe
those words without a doubt. I needed her to know how much she meant to me, what lengths
I would go to for her. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for her, and she needed to
know that.

“Oh, Merrick!” she cried out with a mix of emotion and pleasure, her back arching
with need.

I couldn’t handle the way her body was affected by mine. It was overwhelmingly, completely
fucking amazing. My mouth and hands couldn’t move fast enough. I needed them on every
inch of her body.

By the time I reached the top of her shirt, my hands were already working it up and
over her head. I closed my eyes, taking in the curvatures of her body by touch alone.
It was my weakness—her body, the way it felt beneath my fingers …
Fuck
. I couldn’t wait to reveal more of it, to get every last article of clothing off
her. I wanted to indulge in it all.

Her black cotton bra came off with ease and I slipped her nipple into my mouth.
Oh my God
, did it fucking taste amazing. I was in heaven, circling my tongue around the perimeter
before pulling it back into my mouth for another nip. I took turns, going back forth
between the two before sliding down the rest of her body, kissing and savoring each
inch of her stomach on the way down.

Once I reached the waist of her pants, her hands cradled each side of my head, holding
it passionately while letting out a sigh of heated anticipation. I pushed the denim
down her legs until it pooled at her feet. I couldn’t stand how fucking amazing her
body was. I couldn’t stop staring, praising the fact that this gorgeous woman was
mine to do whatever I wanted to, to please in any way I desired. She was mine to devour
and pleasure. Nothing felt better humming my veins than the knowledge that she was
mine. All fucking mine.

She leaned up on her elbows, noticing my stall, my moment of weakness. I crawled back
on top of her, meeting her grin with mine. It was with a mutual understanding of how
I perceived her, of how being back together felt … for both of us.

Our lips fused again, this time more slowly, passionately, feeling each movement,
each pass of our tongues, every ounce of emotion exchanged. Her arms draped over my
shoulders, her hands holding the back of my head in place. My arms rested on each
side of her head; I was all into her, focusing on our love, our passion and lust for
one another. I knew; she didn’t need to tell me. Eventually she would. Eventually
she would know that she couldn’t hurt me. Eventually Amelia would love me the way
I loved her.

The feeling, the sensation … I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I’d waited what felt
like eternity to have Amelia back in my bed. I needed more. I needed to feel her warmth.
Her wetness. I needed to see her pleasure. I needed to feel her fall, to climax …
by me. With me.

Removing my lips from hers, I kissed her forehead, then her nose, before exploring
the length of her body a second time, kissing, nipping and sucking all the way down
to her toes. By the time I got back to her panties, she was pleading.

“Yes, Merrick, yes.”

Her voice, her need … it was all I fucking needed to rip the thin fabric from

her body; I was more than ready to be inside my girl. It took all of two seconds to
shuck my own clothes.