Permanent Lines (20 page)

After having another one of Mrs. Doubtfire’s over the top breakfasts, we made our
way down to the garage. There weren’t just a few cars down there, there were at least
a dozen, ranging from average (the Tahoe) to over the top ones like the three Mercedes
Benzes that were just hanging out, untouched.

“Jesus …” Amelia said quietly, appraising the array of vehicles in front of us.

“Ridiculous, right?”

“Just a touch,” she agreed, shaking her head.

“I guess when you can …”

“I guess.” The funny thing was that Amelia did come from wealth—not anything close
to what Miles was swimming in, but Ken, her dad, was a big deal in the motocross world.
He definitely wasn’t hurting, and neither did Amelia growing up, but this kind of
wealth was filthy.

The Tahoe was closest to the door and like Miles had said, unlocked with the keys
in it. I did a quick surveillance, just in case, but there was no fucking around with
this whip. It was decked out with the darkest windows ever. No one would be able to
see in.

I could see the fear and apprehension on Amelia’s face. She was stiff, her gaze lost
out the windshield. As much as the idea of getting out of the building was exhilarating,
it was frightening as all hell too. I knew we were safe, there was no way in hell
I’d do anything that could get Amelia hurt, but it was still a little unsettling.
Though, in this case, totally worth it.

I rested my hand on her thigh and rubbed it gently with my thumb. “I love you, you
know. I would never do anything that would get you hurt.”

She nodded her head, peering at me with a forced grin. She wasn’t convinced yet and
I understood. Hopefully, by the end of the day, it would make sense.

It took us a while to get to where we were going. It would have been much quicker
to take the train out of the city, but obviously, that wasn’t an option. We were both
acting cautious the whole time, checking our mirrors every few minutes. It became
habit after awhile, and of course completely unnecessary. No one was following us
or could see inside. The long drive down a deserted road confirmed our seclusion.

“Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?” she joked when I turned off into an abandoned
field and down an old dirt path.

I laughed. “Not yet.” I looked over at her and smiled. “I’m not nearly done with you
yet.”

Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at me a second more before looking straight ahead
again. It was moments like those that made my insides weak and reminded me for the
zillionth time why I loved her so much. She was fucking beautiful and did crazy ass
things to my heart when she looked at me that way.

As soon as the trees cleared and my surprise came into sight, her face lit up and
looked exactly how I hoped it would be.

“Whose is this?!”

“Micah and I built it when we were kids. His father wouldn’t let us practice our stunts
on the one at their house, so we made this one … it was like our fort, just in a dirt
track form.”

“How frickin’ cool!” she squealed as I put the car in park. “Is that—” She squinted
her eyes to get a better look. “Oh my God! That’s my bike!” She opened the door and
hopped out, walking over to the bikes that I had Micah bring here this morning.

She threw her right leg over the seat and sat down on top. “I haven’t ridden since
…” she looked up at me, “since our race.”

I sat down on my bike, put my helmet over my head, and revved the engine on.

“Then let’s go!” I shouted over the noise before taking off.

It only took two seconds before I heard her bike roar to life and noticed her on my
tail. She was a fucking killer racer. Aside from the white, pink, and black painted
on the side of her bike, you’d never know it was a chick neck and neck with you—I
certainly didn’t at first.

We weaved in and out of each other, taking jumps like you would never do in an official
race. It’d been a while since I freestyled and it felt fucking good. After a few jumps,
I pulled to the side to see what she had. I crossed my arms over my chest and watched
with more emotion than I expected. She was a natural and completely out of her fucking
mind like I was. She was doing whips and can-cans like a fucking rock star. I was
a sap-ass boyfriend, watching my girl go.

It wasn’t until probably a good thirty minutes later that she finally noticed she
was going on her own. It felt good, knowing that she was so zoned out and so in her
element that she didn’t even notice. A proud rush seeped throughout my body; I had
accomplished exactly what I wanted to by coming here today.

“Why’d you punk out on me?” she joked when we were side by side.

“I like watching you,” I admitted.

She smiled. “This was awesome, babe. Thanks!”

I couldn’t smile back. My mind was racing with the real reason why we were here.

“What?” she asked, picking up on my unease.

“I gotta tell you something.”

My heart was already hurting and beating a mile a minute. I didn’t want to tell her.
I didn’t want the rush to leave her body. She looked so happy, so free. I hated that
I had to fucking ruin it.

I rubbed my face and took a deep breath. She was waiting, already looking scared.
She knew something was up.

“Some bad shit happened last night,” I started.

Her tongue pressed against her top teeth, bracing herself. “Just tell me, please.”

I swallowed hard. “Your dad was found dead early this morning at his house.”

Immediately, she started to shake her head repeatedly. “No … no …”

I pulled her hard into my body. Her hands were in fists against my chest as she tried
to push away.

“No! No! You’re lying!”

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry,” I whispered into her hair as my hand slowly smoothed
it down, trying to comfort her in any way I could.

With every second that passed, her cries grew louder. Every once in a while her breath
would hitch, making her gasp for air. I hated how she was feeling. I hated that I
was the one that had to tell her.

I kissed the top of her head over and over while she cried in my arms. I didn’t know
what to say, so I didn’t say anything. Nothing could make this situation any better,
anyway; she just needed to get it out.

But then she stopped, stepping back, sniffling and wiping underneath her eyes with
her fingers. It was like a switch went off inside of her … I was confused.

“I wanna kill him,” she said, her voice full of anger. “I want him dead,” she elaborated
in a tone that scared me. She wiped her nose again, still wet from the endless tears
just moments ago, and began to pace. It was like a demon seeped into her body. She
moved from sadness to intense anger in the blink of a fucking eye. I totally got it,
but it was fucking scary as shit.

And then she stopped, fixing me with a serious stare. “He needs to be dead, Merrick.
I don’t care what it fucking takes. I. Want. Him. Dead.”

Amelia stared out the window the entire way to the apartment. After I calmed her down
back at the track and assured her that Antonio would get what he deserved, the pain
returned. I didn’t know what she was thinking, but I could see the reflection of her
face in the window; tears never stopped falling once. I let her be alone in thought,
only rubbing her thigh with my thumb once in a while for comfort. I hated seeing her
so upset, hurt, and in pain. I hated everything that Antonio did to her and still
is. I hated that I couldn’t protect her from the piece of shit. But, I did know that
I would carry out her request. I would make him pay, I would make him suffer, and
I would damn well see him through to his last breath.

We stepped into the flat at just a little after five. She didn’t speak a word, just
went to our room and straight for the shower. I left her alone. She knew I was there.
She knew that I would do anything for her. If she needed me, she knew where to come.

“Should we wait for the Mrs.?” Mrs. Doubtfire asked, placing the steak dinner she
had prepared on plates.

I shook my head. “No, thank you. Just put some foil over it and put in the microwave,”
I replied. “She had a rough day.” I smiled, but in a less then enthused tone.

She grinned tightly before replying, “I sure will.”

I was getting used to Mrs. Doubtfire. She cooked, cleaned, and took care of all the
household essentials, but kept away and to herself. If I could make a few more bucks,
I’d have one of my own.

“There’s always a little wind before the storm, love, but once the storm passes, there’s
always sunshine and clear skies,” she said with a smile before walking past me to
continue to her part of the apartment.

I sat there for a second, thinking about what she said. This was a pretty fucking
nasty storm we were experiencing, but I guess you had to keep your eye on the prize—the
aftermath—the sun and clear skies. I smiled. Leave it to Mrs. Doubtfire to make a
dark day a little better.

“Hey …” I jumped from the barstool I was sitting on when I saw Amelia turn the corner,
her hair still wet with a fresh, clean scent.

Her lips curled slightly but not completely. I motioned for her to have a seat next
to me.

“Mrs. Doubtfire made dinner. She put yours in the microwave.”

She looked frail, almost weak. I just wanted to bear hug her and never let go, but
she looked to be in a little better spirits—still down but not completely broken.

“I’m not really that hungry.” She shook her head slightly before continuing to the
living area, stopping and staring out the window.

I watched her as she stood there, lost in her thoughts. I was at a loss about what
to do. I didn’t know what she was thinking or what she needed from me.

She glanced over. “Eat. I’m fine,” she encouraged with a smile.

I knew she was anything but fine, but I also knew she wasn’t an exhibit at the zoo.
I had to give her space and stop staring like she was going to drop to the floor at
any minute. The problem was that when she hurt, I hurt. When she felt pain, so did
I. I couldn’t look away. This love thing was decidedly harder than I expected. I couldn’t
stop caring, and I certainly couldn’t just keep going on with my life when I knew
how much she was hurting inside. When her life stopped, so did mine.

I walked over to where she was standing, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind
and holding her back against my chest. My chin rested perfectly on the top of her
head. Immediately, her body relaxed and her hands overlapped mine. I didn’t say anything.
I didn’t need to know what she was thinking, I just needed her close to me, because
when it came down to it, we completed each other—our bodies found comfort when we
were together. We didn’t need words, we didn’t need affection … we just needed each
other.

I couldn’t tell you how long we stood there, but it was long enough that my arm fell
asleep and Amelia started dozing. When I finally couldn’t stand any longer, I slowly
walked us back to the couch, laying us both down facing each other, my back to the
cushions.

I brushed her hair from her face and looked her in the eyes. “I’m going to make things
right, baby,” I said gently. “I’m going to make all this go away, okay?”

She nodded faintly. “I know. I know it’ll work itself out. I just can’t lose anyone
else I love.” I could hear her voice cracking. “I just can’t loose you.” A tear escaped
her eye, sliding down into the couch pillow.

“You won’t.” I wiped the wetness from her face with my thumb. “You’ll never lose me.”