Personal Demons 2 - Original Sin (24 page)

It's all I can do not to send a blast of Hellfire at him, but I'm not going to let on how deep his words cut. “Just doing what comes naturally. I
am
a demon, after all.”

“And a Class A asshole.”

I start to phase back to my apartment, but I glance up and notice Gabriel's neighbor, standing on his lawn in a bathrobe, staring at us.

“What'd you expect?” I say, bounding off the porch and heading around back.

He follows. “Why won't you help her?”

“I told you. The best way for me to help her is to leave her the Hell alone.”

He shakes his head and grumbles under his breath.

I glare at him. “Go find Lilith. She won't quit.”

He glares back and starts to shoot off some reply, but his face turns to a mask of shock—then horror. His eyes fly wide. “Your apartment. Now!” he barks. Then he's gone.

Frannie

Luc's in Hell. That's all I know. Is he safe? Dead?

I can't believe he's changed back—that he's not human anymore. That he's not mine. I don't know what I expected, but I shouldn't be surprised, because
I
did it. I didn't want him. I hated him.

But I always loved him.

I still do.

But that doesn't change what he did. There's nothing he could ever say to make me trust him again.

And Gabe shouldn't trust
me.
I spent the rest of last night after he left trying to convince myself I don't want him. But it's bullshit. I do.

He told me to stay home, behind Dad's field. So, why I'm driving to Luc's apartment, I don't know. I guess I need to be sure he's really gone before I can let go, move on. Seeing is believing, as they say.

I nearly drive away when I pull into his parking lot and see the Shelby. But I don't. I park near his building and sit here forever, fighting the panic that's vying for control. I catch myself rubbing the rabbit's foot and fingering the sharp edges of the shiny silver key dangling from the key chain in the ignition. Finally, I pull the keys, step out of the car, and walk to his building. I feel weak and sick, and I have a hard time keeping my legs moving. Memories flash: meeting Lili that first day right here at the door, hauling the dresser up these stairs, Matt's fall. I almost turn around as the weight of my heavy heart crushes my courage. Pushing myself, I start up the hall.

Cautiously, I stick my key in his lock, trying not to remember what I found inside the last time I did that, and jump when I hear the soft voice from just up the hall.

“Frannie?”

I feel shaky and light-headed as I turn toward Lili, where she stands in her door.

She steps cautiously toward me. “I really need to talk to you, Fee.” Her voice is soft, scared.

I blink, trying to clear my mind—to make myself see her as I know she is: a succubus and King Lucifer's consort. But she's just shy, frightened Lili.

Lili, who was in bed with Luc last time I saw her.

My pulse pounds in my ears as I swallow back the bitter bile rising in my throat. “What do you want?”

Her eyes fall to her shoes. “He's not in there,” she says.

I pull my key from the last of the deadbolts and push the door open. She's right. The apartment is empty. I turn back to her. “What do you want?” I repeat, fighting to keep my voice even.

She moves guardedly toward me. “I just…” She trails off as she reaches me. “Can we talk?”

I push the door wider and she slouches through. I follow and close it behind us. My eyes scan the apartment again, and when they fall on the bed, I can't help the ache in my heart or the tears that well in my eyes. The memory of me and Luc—our first time and everything I thought that meant—is overshadowed by the image of him in that same bed with Lili. I spin on her. “Just say whatever you have to say and leave me alone.”

She lifts her eyes to mine and takes a tentative step toward me. “I didn't want him,” she says.

I see them together as clearly as if it were happening right now, right in front of me. “You could have fooled me,” I spit.

Her eyes lock on mine and I'm surprised by the sudden strength I see in them. And something else. Something hot and interminable—and ancient. “I want you.”

Suddenly, I'm paralyzed by crippling desire. She slides across the floor toward me, where I'm backed against the door, and presses her body into mine. My eyes close as a burst of ecstasy shoots through every cell of my body. I feel her hot breath on my cheek and I moan as I push back into the door. But then her hand is on my face, caressing. Her finger traces the lines of my cheekbone, down my nose to my lips. I open my eyes, and instantly, I'm mesmerized. My pulse races, but it's only partially from fear.

I suck in a ragged breath as the room starts to spin; then everything blurs as her lips lock on mine. An electric tingle rips through me, and when she tries to pull back, I don't let her. I feel her smile into my lips when my arms, which had been pushing her away, start pulling her in.

“That's it. Just go with it,” she whispers.

And at her words, my mind flashes to Luc—how lost he was in her. I feel something—black, ugly, old—swirl inside me, trying to take control.

I pull back and shake my head as alarm bells start ringing in my mind. Instinctively, I grab her arm and twist her into a necklock.

But just as quickly, she spins out of my grasp and backs away from me. “It doesn't have to be like this, Fee. You don't know who I am—what I can do for you.”

“Don't you dare call me that,” I growl. I feel new strength rise in me as I stare down the real object of all my anger. “And actually, I do,
Lilith.
”

She looks stricken. Her face falls and her eyes glisten with tears. “Was it Gabriel? What did he tell you?”

“It wasn't Gabe,” I say, thinking of my father's face when he told me about Lilith. How he lost his wings to her.

She lowers her lashes. “Daniel,” she whispers, as if reading my mind. She looks back into my eyes, hers deep and full of pain. “He was special to me. My first angel.”

I look away before her eyes can mesmerize me again, and I feel rage build inside me. But then I remember the sadness on her face when she met Dad that day in the garage and almost believe her. I'm flooded with random emotions—sorrow, pity, shame, lust—till my thoughts are a tangled mess.

“Special?” I spit. “What about Matt? Luc? Were they special too?”

Something dark creeps across her face. “Their lust keeps me alive. Without them, I'd die. So, I guess they're all special in their own way.”

I spin for the door and reach for the handle when she adds, “But not as special as you.”

I press my hands into the door and struggle against the wave of desire that threatens to take me under.

When I turn back to the room, she's there, just inches from me. The urge to reach out and pull her to me is almost irresistible. My body aches, my need for her totally raw on every nerve ending.

I can't breathe as I close the short distance between us and press my lips to hers. A moan that's almost a growl rolls up from her depths as she presses closer, pushing me back into the door.

After a minute, my already racing heart races faster when I try to catch a breath and can't. Lili is literally smothering me with her kiss. There's something thrilling about the thought of dying in Lili's arms. I shudder and crush myself into her, my lungs screaming for air. It's almost as if she's sucking the life out of me—and I want her to.

The kiss of death.

Terror prickles my senses, mingling with the intensity of my lust for Lili. I've never experienced anything like this—emotions totally raw and out of control. I tug at her clothes, needing to be closer, and feel her fingers press into my throat, cutting off my minuscule air supply. Stars flash in my eyes as tiny bits of bliss surge through me.

Her lips slide from mine and trace a burning path across my cheek to my ear. “You're mine,” she whispers as her grip tightens on my throat.

Over her shoulder, through waning tunnel vision, I see Luc's bed. The bed where I gave myself to him. The bed where he betrayed me.

With Lili.

At the thought of what Luc and I had—what we lost—grief fills me. The hot tear coursing down my cheek snaps me from my trance. Something in my heart tightens as the warning in my head grows louder. And then it's Gabe's voice that I hear.

She's a demon, but not.

I keep my eyes focused on the bed—on my grief—as I push away from Lili, knowing that I couldn't find the strength if I was looking into her eyes. With great effort, I manage to create some space between us. It hurts more than I would have thought to push myself away from her, an aching need that pulls to my bones. Her hand on my throat doesn't loosen, and it's almost a comfort to still be connected.

But as she squeezes tighter, trying to keep her grasp on me, my lungs feel as though they're gonna explode. Stars flicker brighter in my eyes, and panic sends a surge of adrenaline through me. I tug her hand from my throat and twist her into an armlock, spinning and throwing her facefirst into the door. Blood rushes into my head so fast, it makes me dizzy. I feel warm and cold all at the same time as my body tingles back to life.

“What do you want with me?” It's almost a sob as it escapes my raw throat.

She turns her head to the side and looks over her twisted shoulder at me. “Everything. You belong with us—with me.”

Even though I don't look in her eyes, I feel her draw on me intensify with her words. Suddenly, I know she's right. I know without a doubt that she and I are supposed to be together. I want her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.

But as I hold her pinned here, I remember Luc holding me in this same spot not that long ago. I can almost feel him pressed against me, his breath in my ear as he whispers,
I love you with everything that I am.

Fresh tears spill onto my cheeks as I remember, knowing now that he didn't really mean it. But the memory helps keep my head clear, and I push away from Lilith, backing into the middle of the room.

“I'm leaving.”

“Sorry, Fee. No can do.” She looks almost sad as she says it, but something in her deep green eyes tells me she means it.

“Move,” I say with as much bravado as I can muster.

She continues to stand with her back against the door and shakes her head.

I reach to shove her out of my way, but she lunges for my arm, pulling me into a choke hold.

“Don't make me do this, Fee.”

Before she can cut off my airway again, I swing my leg out and catch her in the knee, forcing her to loosen her grasp. I twist out of her arms and back a few steps toward the bed. “Let me go.”

“I have orders. My king wants you. I can't let you go.”

“I'm tagged for Heaven. You can't take me.”

She looks pensive for a moment. “A technicality. But with Luc and Matthew…gone—” The smallest smile curves her lips. “—things aren't looking so etched in stone.”

I skirt past the table, inching closer to the door. She turns and follows my movement but doesn't counter. I slide past her and reach for the door handle, but just as my fingers brush the cool metal—my freedom—she knocks my hand away.

Her face darkens. “This is for real, Fee. I get what I want, in case you haven't noticed, and right now I want you.”

I breathe against the electric tingle that ripples over my skin, and reach for the door handle again. She lunges at me but I block her, grabbing her arm and planting a kick into her knee, buckling it. She drops onto the other knee, and as I punch my hand into her face, she comes up under me and takes my legs out. I fall back, hitting my head hard on the door, and feel a trickle of blood through my hair as I pull myself back up.

“Just come with me, Fee. Please. This can be nice. Easy. I can make you feel things you can't even imagine.”

“I'm never coming with you.”

A shadow passes over her features, and suddenly she looks frightened. “You have no idea what He'll do to me….”

“I have a pretty good idea,” I say, and can't help the sarcastic edge to my voice. “The Fiery Pit?”

She shakes her head as her face pales. “That's for His minions. For me…” She shudders and trails off, hollow eyes in a haunted face, as she clutches herself around the waist.

I almost feel sorry for her, but I know now that that's her ploy. I fell for the helpless act before and let her tear my world apart. I'm not falling for it again.

I use her distraction to make a move for the door again, but her foot swings out, connecting with my hip and knocking me back a few steps. We move through the apartment, exchanging blows, and Lilith manages to always keep herself between me and the door. She looks as bloody as I'm sure I do, but I hold my own.

Panic surges through me with the vague thought that I've never been in a true fight for my life before. Nobody in the studio can beat me. But they're not Lilith. And they're not actually trying to
kill
me. Then I remember myself. If I'm gonna have a chance, I can't panic.

Breathe. Balance.

Sway…

Luc would tell me to use my Sway.

She launches a kick at me. I block it and spin out of the way, trying to decide what I'm supposed to convince her of.

I'm tagged for Heaven. You can't take me.

She doesn't even hesitate before lashing out with another kick that connects with my chest, pushing me back into the wall. I shrug off the wall as she charges me.

You don't want me.

This time she
does
hesitate, just for a split second, but it's enough time for my hand to connect with her right eye. She wheels back into the table and it nearly topples.

“You're good,” she says, a thread of admiration in her voice. She wipes a trickle of blood from the corner of her eyebrow and leans back into the table as if she's giving up.

I drop my arms and take a step toward the door. When she makes no move to stop me, I breathe a sigh of relief and glance in that direction.

That's all she needs.

Her foot comes at my stomach, fast as lightning, knocking me onto my back on the bed as all the air explodes from my lungs in a painful
whoosh.
In a flash, she's on top of me. I wrap my legs around her and try to twist her into a leglock, but she doesn't budge, and neither does the pillow she's holding over my face.

My air is gone and I can't get it back. The pillow keeps me from getting a full breath. I gasp for air and claw for the crucifix around my neck. Tugging the chain from my neck, I slash at her with it.