Philip and the Superstition Kid (9781452430423) (8 page)

Leon shut his eyes.

“
What do you think,
Philip? Will it fit?”

“
I guess so. Wanna try it
on, Leon?”

“
No
!” Leon cried. “Let’s just go.”

“
You guys want to see what
we got in high heel shoes? Nylon stockings? Some hair
ribbons?”

The boys looked and saw a short man in a
wrinkled, white short-sleeved shirt. His shirt pocket had three
pens in it as well as an ink stain on the outside of it. He needed
a shave and the little bit of hair he had pointed in many different
directions.

“
What’re you boys doing?
Put that dress back.”

“
We’re . . . we’re buying
it. We’re gonna buy it,” Philip explained.

“
For him?” The man pointed
at Leon.

“
Well, he’s . . . he’s . .
. ” Emery looked at Philip.

“
I’m bad luck,” Leon
interrupted. “I gotta go in a closet and . . .”

“
He’s in a show,” Philip
burst in. “It’s a costume for a show.”

“
Yeah, right.” The man
stared at the boys a moment. “You three got Guidance Counselors in
your school?”

Philip and Emery looked puzzled.

“
You ought to go and talk
to one.”

“
School’s over,” Emery
said in confusion.

“
Well, that is too bad for
you,” the man said with a shake of his head.

“
We’ll take this one,”
Philip said, hoping to put an end to the conversation.

“
You will, eh?” The man
shrugged. “Take it up front.”

“
Come on,” Philip said,
and Leon and Emery followed him to the front.

The dress cost three dollars and Philip
paid, making a note to himself to get a dollar-fifty from Emery
later. The young girl at the register put the dress into a plastic
bag and the boys left.

“
Why did he ask us about
the Guidance Counselor?” Leon wondered as he followed Emery and
Philip, who were walking as fast as they could.

“
Who knows? He was just
being weird,” said Philip.

“
Oww!” came a cry from
behind them. Philip and Emery turned.

“
Get up, Leon,” Emery said
impatiently. Leon was sitting on the sidewalk rubbing his right
knee. “What’d you do?”

“
The shoelaces are too
long. I fell.”

“
Keep tying the bow and
make it shorter,” Philip demanded. “And hurry up. You see what your
trissaphobia is doing. We gotta get you in that dress
fast.”

Leon tied and retied the bows until they
were nothing more than big lumps on the top of his sneaker.

“
That’s better,” Philip
complimented him. “Now walk in front of us. We’ll watch
you.”

“
I better go slow,” Leon
said pitifully.

“
Yeah, yeah,” Philip said.
“You’re leading. Just go, we’ll follow you.”

They made it home safely and took Leon
upstairs.

“
Get into the dress,”
Emery ordered. “And don’t forget—inside out. We’ll sneak you into
the hall closet downstairs.” To Philip he whispered, “If my mother
sees him . . . She said he almost gave her a heart attack the
kleebis time.”

“
How do I look?” Leon
asked in despair.

“
Doesn’t matter how you
look,” Philip said, thinking that Leon’s knobby knees didn’t match
the soft pink material of the dress. “Nobody’s gonna see
you.”

“
Yeah, and you sure don’t
gotta worry about being pretty,” Emery assured him. “’Cause you’re
not.”

Leon gave his cousin a look, not certain
whether to be offended or not. He said, “I took off my sneakers so
I don’t trip again.”

“
Good,” said Emery. “Now
come with us.”

Philip and Emery led Leon down the stairs.
They could hear Emery’s mother in the basement.

“
Get in. Get in,” Philip
ordered, opening the hallway closet door.

Leon pushed aside the coats and jackets
hanging in the closet, stepped inside, and turned around.

“
I don’t like it in here,”
he said softly.

“
It’s just until dinner,”
said Emery. “Don’t worry.”

“
I’m gonna get hungry. I’m
hungry now,” Leon complained.

“
Stay there,” said Emery
and he ran into the kitchen. He came back with a box of crackers, a
jar of jelly, a spoon, and two small boxes of raisins. “Take
these.”

Leon inspected his supplies. “Crackers. They
always make me thirsty. Suppose I get thirsty?”

“
Ohhhhhh,” Emery muttered
in impatience. “Wait.” He ran into the kitchen again and brought
back three cans of soda. “Take these.”

“
Soda,” Leon muttered
gloomily. “Soda always makes me go to the bathroom.”

Philip and Emery looked at each other.

“
Go now,” said Philip.
“Go. You have everything you’ll need. Hurry up.”

“
Wait,” Leon cried. He
left the closet and went upstairs—skipping the first step, of
course. Philip and Emery waited. They heard the flush of the
toilet, and then Leon came back down the stairs—jumping the final
two steps—and reentered the closet.

“
Now, you got everything
you need?” Emery asked.

“
Suppose I have to wipe my
hands or my mouth,” Leon asked.

“
Oh, Leon,” Emery mumbled.
He ran into the kitchen a third time and brought back a wad of
paper towels ripped from the roll. “
Now
do you have everything you
need?”

Leon looked around and thought. “I
guess.”

“
Good, we’ll see you
later,” Emery said.

“
Bye, guys” said Leon
sadly, keeping his mournful eyes on his cousin as Emery slowly
closed the door on him.

Philip heaved a deep sigh. “Well, that’s
that.” He waved Emery outside. “I guess we can go to the playground
if we’re real careful there.”

Emery nodded. “Without Leon along, what can
go wrong?”

Philip nodded but as they walked silently to
the playground, neither boy felt as joyful at shedding Leon today
as they had on earlier days.

Chapter Twelve

Emery’s mother had made the boys promise to
be home by six o’clock, when the baby sitter was due to arrive. It
was nearly six when the two boys walked up the block toward Emery’s
house.

“
Well, no disaster
happened with Leon not along,” Philip said with
satisfaction.

“
No, but what about the
trissikaphobia? I think we still got it. Leon is pretty sure he
gave it to us.”

Any other time, Philip might have argued.
But by now, he wasn’t so sure Emery was wrong.

“
You think we still could?
I mean really,” Philip argued weakly. “Nothing bad happened today,
maybe because we didn’t bump into any thirteens today.”

Emery scowled in Philip’s direction and
said, “Oh, didn’t we? Who was the thirteenth person picked in
today’s ballgame?”

“
You,” Philip answered
softly after thinking a moment.

“
And who struck out
five
times?”

“
You.”

“
So that was a thirteen,
wasn’t it?”

Philip shrugged. He had no argument to
offer. All he could say was, “I hit a home run.”

“
Oh, yeah. Let me tell you
about that. What number did you bat?”

“
I batted
fourth.”

“
So the second time you
batted what did you bat?”

“
Huh?”

“
Nine on a team. You
batted fourth. The second time up you batted . . . ?”

Philip’s eyes widened. “Uh, thirteenth.”

“
What did you do the first
time up?”

“
Home run. I told
you.”

“
What did you do the
second time when you batted thirteenth?”

“
Emery, I struck out! But
I didn’t strike out again after that.”

“
So how many times did you
bat thirteenth?”

“
Just once, I
guess.”

“
And you struck out and
didn’t get a hit the rest of the time because the trissapikaphobium
spoiled everything after you batted thirteenth.”

Emery’s logic silenced Philip and sent him
into deep thought.

Finally, Philip said, “You think Leon’s
still in the closet?”

They had reached Emery’s front door. “Let’s
go see.”

When they went inside, the smell of pizza
greeted them.

Emery’s parents were all dressed up and
standing in the living room talking to a young girl.

“
Oh, no. Not her,” Philip
said.

“
Yipes,” Emery
echoed.

“
Come here, Emery,
Philip,” said Emery’s father.

“
This is Amanda. I think
you know her. She’ll be watching over you tonight.”

Philip and Emery stared. Amanda was the
strangest looking girl in the neighborhood. Her black hair was cut
at all different lengths and angles. She had four earrings in her
right ear and six in her left. She had a tattoo of an eagle on her
right arm and the tattoo of a skull on her left arm.

Philip had seen Amanda many times and the
tattoos on her arms always changed. Philip guessed that her parents
wouldn’t let her get real tattoos so she got the kind that faded
over time.

Amanda wore black jeans and a black tee
shirt with the sleeves cut off. The T-shirt read NOW OR NEVER in
big red letters. A tiny silver ring that also came and went like
the tattoos was attached to her nose.

Philip gave Amanda a weak smile. She scared
him.

Amanda curled the right side of her upper
lip in return.

“
The pizza just arrived.
It’s in the kitchen,” said Emery’s mother, walking into the
hallway. “I want my jacket. Where’s Leon?”

“
Uh, he’s around,
Mom.”

“
Make sure he gets some
pizza,” she said, opening the closet door.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!”

“
What, honey?” Emery’s
father cried.

Everyone turned and looked. There stood Leon
inside the closet. He smiled and gave a brief wave, and then he
stepped into the hallway. There were cracker crumbs imbedded in
some grape jelly on his lips and chin.

Emery’s mother stared at him in horror as
the people in the living room moved into the hallway.

Mrs. Wyatt gulped and said, “What were you
doing in the closet, Leon? Why are you wearing a dress?”

Leon looked at Philip and Emery for
help.

Suddenly, a loud burst of laughter brought
everyone up short. Amanda had her hands on her knees, doubled over
and laughing loudly. Emery’s father snorted a big laugh but then
caught himself.

“
Amanda, please,” said
Mrs. Wyatt. She gave her husband a cold glare.

Amanda turned away so she wouldn’t see Leon,
but everyone could see her sides bouncing as she continued to laugh
silently.

“
Why are you wearing a
dress, Leon? Does your therapist know you do this? Does your mother
know?” Emery’s mother asked.

“
I’m not really wearing a
dress,” Leon tried to explain, but his voice quivered so much that
he spoke very slowly. “It’s only ’cause it’s inside-out on the
inside and not on the outside . . . ”

“
He was . . .” Emery
interrupted before Leon could say too much.

“
Shhhhh!” his mother
ordered.

Amanda turned back to look and burst out
again into uncontrollable laughter.

Finally, Emery’s father couldn’t hold it any
longer and he burst into laughter.

Philip and Emery looked at each other and
both had to squeeze their lips together hard so the laughter that
was about to explode in them stayed locked inside.

“
Stop!” Leon cried,
bouncing on his toes and shaking his arms. “I’m not wearing a
dress, really.”

Amanda sucked in a giant gulp of air and it
made a strange noise.

“
Stop!” Leon cried and he
ran toward the stairs. As he ran he tried to get the dress over his
head. When he reached the stairs, he’d only half succeeded. The
dress was stuck on his head, hanging down in front of his face.
Leon wiggled and waggled his shoulders and arms like a hula dancer
as he struggled with the dress. Bang! He ran straight into the
banister and bounced back from it onto the seat of his
pants.

Another tremendous burst of laughter came
from Amanda.

Leon jumped up and started up the stairs,
his arms and head still inside the dress. To Philip he looked like
a headless ghost running off to scare someone.

“
Don’t worry,” Mr. Wyatt
said, trying to keep a serious face. “He’ll be all right. Get your
jacket, honey.”

Amanda, still laughing, went into the
kitchen where the pizza was waiting.

“
I’ll
get your jacket, honey,” Mr. Wyatt said when his wife did not
seem able to move.

“
Mom,” Emery said, moving
closer to his mother, “why’d you get her to stay tonight? She’s the
weirdest thing ever.”

“
She was the only one I
could find, and I certainly couldn’t leave the three of you alone,”
Mrs. Wyatt barked impatiently. “Thanks,” she said to her husband
and slipped her arm into her jacket sleeve. “Ugh, jelly.” She’d run
into a glob of Leon’s grape jelly at the end of the
sleeve.