Authors: Ella Fox
I spent a restless night tossing and turning while I thought about Flynn. Or, I spent the night fretting about my response to him. By five in the morning, I’d decided that my reaction to him was purely due to the fact that I had been attracted to the
idea
of him for so long. It had to be a projection of my youthful lust for him. It just had to be. I was a twenty-three year old sexual novice, while Flynn was a twenty-nine year old sexual connoisseur. We couldn’t be more different if we tried. I was sure that when I saw him again at the meeting the attraction would have balanced out.
Naturally that didn’t stop me from making sure that I looked good. We’d been instructed to dress casually, so I’d
chosen white shorts paired with a periwinkle off the shoulder dolman top. My hair was pulled into a high ponytail and I was wearing an adorable pair of Steve Madden sandals. They had just enough of a heel to elongate my legs, but not enough of a heel to be over the top sexy or make people think I was trying too hard. After spritzing myself with my favorite perfume, I made my way to the lobby to meet my driver.
Frank was a pleasant man, but I was glad that he was the silent type. Whether because it came naturally, or because it was an occupational necessity, his silence worked for me. I needed time to center myself before the all hands on meeting.
It didn’t take us long to get to where the meeting was being held. I got out of the car nervous but excited about what the rest of the day would bring. I was smiling as I stepped into the building, and like a complete goof my smile only got larger when I saw Flynn standing just inside the door.
A million tiny butterflies took flight inside of my stomach righ
t at that moment. Right then I knew that the previous evening hadn’t been an anomaly. The attraction was real, and it wasn’t going anywhere.
Flynn’s answering smile was a thing of beauty. He grabbed me in a gentle hug of welcome. He was so tactile that it threw me off
. So far he was nothing like what I’d been expecting.
“I’ve been waiting for you forever
sweetness, but you’re more than worth the wait.”
How did he
do
that? One look, one small breath, one sentence, and I came undone.
Laughing nervously, I smiled up at him. “I’m sorry that I kept you waiting. I actually thought I was early.”
Shaking his head he threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me closer to his side as we started to walk. “That’s not what I meant baby.”
Before I could ask for clarification
, I saw that we were almost to the door that would lead us into the conference room so I pulled away from him before we entered. He frowned at me and looked miffed, but I just couldn’t walk in with Flynn wrapped around me. Everyone in the room would have been thinking that I was a huge slut if I’d walked in there like that. Christ, I’d only met him
yesterday
and I was working for him. After a lifetime of solid behavior, I felt as if I was really throwing caution to the wind as it was just by agreeing to go to dinner with him. Clearly, I liked him, but that didn’t mean that I needed to be the next notch on his rock star bedpost.
When it came time to sit around the conference table, I expected him to sit with the rest of his band. Instead
, he sat right next to me. Looking across the table I saw that Cole was sitting with Devon and Ian. I assumed that meant the band had never intended to sit together and that assured me that it wasn’t totally obvious that I had a crush on Flynn.
At least that’s what I hoped.
The meeting was amazing. It was great to be in a room full of such talent. A lot of the people at the meeting were surprised when the announcement was made that this would be the farewell tour for Renegade Saints, but that just made being chosen to take part in the experience that much more special. In some way or another we were all a part of music history and it was a huge deal. It was a lunch meeting, so we all ate and talked about plans for the tour. When lunch was finished and someone asked why the band had decided to retire, I knew what I had to do.
Quietly standing from the table, I used the point and shoot camera I always had with me to start taking photos of the meeting. As always, I lost time when I was behind the lens. I got caught up in the moment taking picture after picture as I documented the occasion. My last shot was of Flynn. I caught him in an unguarded moment when he happened to be looking at me. The look that I captured was so intense that it caused my insides to turn to mush.
Flynn was evoking feelings and desires that I’d never had before and it scared the shit out of me. I was still reeling from the Lee debacle and my confidence was at an all-time low. The worst part was that I didn’t even really care about Lee. I thought he’d seemed nice enough but he’d brought no passion out of me. I’d just assumed that was my lot in life and had decided to settle. Too bad I settled on an asshole. For all of that, his cheating stung. I’ve never felt like such a fool, and his verbal assault on my lack of sexuality was still fucking with my head. Flynn might be interested in me, but he wouldn’t be if he knew that I didn’t enjoy sex.
It’s a well-known fact that Flynn and the other guys in the band don’t ever have girlfriends. Their debauchery has been well documented over the last decade. Sure, the stories have slowed down in the last few years, but ev
ery once in a while another one-night stand story leaks out to the press. Flynn might attract me more than Lee ever did, but they both share a love of casual and group sex that I don’t find appealing. I’m not against it per se, but it wouldn’t work for me.
As the meeting came to an end, it was time for everyone to transition into another one of the conference rooms. The press had been gathering for the last hour, and it was time for the guys to make their announcement.
Frank had been kind enough to bring my big camera bag in, so I got to work taking photos as the guys took their places at a table that was set up in the front. There were microphones and video cameras everywhere. Devon and her team were recording the event for the movie, and the two of us shared a smile. It was show time.
Flynn spoke first, reading a prepared statement that the band had written together. A collective gasp of shock echoed through the room once he explained that this was their retirement tour. Once Flynn finished reading the statement, the floor was opened up for questions. It got loud after that as questions were thrown at them fast and furious. I found myself feeling bad for the band, because the reporters were relentless. Fortunately, the band took it in their stride.
As the conference was coming to a close, Flynn joked to one of the reporters that the press conference pretty much illustrated the point of them retiring perfectly. “This isn’t normal,” he explained. “It’s been great and we’re more thankful than I can explain, but living your life with cameras and microphones in your face isn’t ideal. We appreciate everything, but being chased by photographers who want to know what you’re doing at all times sucks. Having no privacy sucks. When it comes right down to it, we’re just four guys who want to live normal lives. We lived the rock n’ roll dream. Now it’s time to move into real life. That’s our new dream.”
Damn him. The more he talked, the more I liked him. He was smart and thoughtful, and his head wasn’t up his ass. I wondered what “real life” meant to him. The fairytale princess dream in my head whispered that maybe he wanted to settle down and have children, but the rational part of my brain reminded me that a decade long buffet of
anything goes
sex would be impossible to walk away from. They might want to be normal, but I doubted the four of them would ever
really
let go of the excess entirely. They were staying in the music business after all, and it was a well-known fact that it was an anything goes deal in LA.
It was a relief that the press conference was over and the news was officially out. I knew that the next few days would suck. We’d be a story until the next big thing broke, and I knew that there would be cameras galore between now and then trying to document what we considered “normal.”
As expected,
I found my father and my grandparents sitting with Cole’s parents, so Cole and I made our way over to their area. We hugged and talked while the photographers and journalists in the room broke down. This core group of people was my family, the people that mean the most to me. I loved Gavin and Tyson as well, but more as best friends than as family. After my mother died, it was Cole’s mother and my grandmother who stepped in and became the dominant female forces in my life. I adored them both and I’ve always known that my mother would have approved of their influences on me.
Looking around, I found Tess standing with Devon and Ian as she finished packing up her equipment. She had such a presence about her, a beauty that was far more than skin deep.
With a wave of my hand I got her attention before calling out for the three of them to come over and meet the family.
Aside from my high school girlfriend, I’d never intentionally introduced a woman to my family. I’d never even been tempted to do so. Sure, they’d met some of them, but it had always been something that happened if my family turned up at my house while one of the girls was there.
When Tessa got close enough to me I reached out to take her hand. She pulled back nervously and shook her head at me. I tried not to be hurt, we’d only known each other less than twenty-four hours after all, but I felt the rejection like a kick to the nuts.
Putting my feelings aside, I introduced her to my family. Her smile lit up the room as she laughed and conversed with the people I loved best. I puffed up with pride when I saw how taken my father and grandparents were with her.
My grandmother asked her a million questions about what her dreams were for her photography, and Tessa answered them all with a smile. The two of them were going to be thick as thieves, I could tell that already.
It was a relief that they were so taken with her. My family is very protective of me
, and I have to admit that I’ve always been spoiled by their love and attention. My grandmother almost died giving birth to my father, so he’s an only child. I’m an only child because my mother passed away before she and my father could have any more children. They’d actually been trying for at least a year or so before my mother was diagnosed with cancer, but it never worked out. That meant that my grandparents and my father doted on me and were very protective. They had never made any secret of the fact that the rock star life was not what they ultimately wanted for me, and I could see that introducing them to Tessa had made them very happy.
Clearly
my grandparents were in the know about her, which meant that my dad had already started spreading the news. It occurred to me that with anyone else I’d be panicking, but because it was Tessa, I liked it. That was an interesting turn of events in and of itself. I was even happy that my family had immediately dispensed with the formalities and had insisted that Tess, Ian and Devon call my father Todd, my grandfather Mason and my grandmother Sylvia. The Hayes’ had also instructed that they wanted to be called by their first names, Janice & Steve. It was all very comfortable, and it felt right.
I noticed that Cole was beaming, and that made me happy for him. Cole had taken a lot of shit for his sexuality, but I just wanted him to be happy. Contrary to popular belief, the fact that he liked both sexes didn’t make him a whore. It just meant that he
needed something different.
The meet
ing and the conference were over and I had no excuse to keep Tessa with me, but I was reluctant to let her go. Our dinner date wasn’t happening until tomorrow night but that wasn’t working for me. I decided to finagle my way into an evening with her and I figured I’d help make Cole’s life a bit easier too.
“Hey, how about all of us
meet for dinner? Everyone standing here is invited. It’ll be great.”
I could see that Tessa, Ian and Devon were worried about accepting the invitation, probably because they thought they might be intruding. My dad and Cole’s parents saw that too, and they jumped right in and insisted that everyone go. It was agreed that Cole and I would pick Tessa, Devon and Ian up in two hours and that we would meet the rest of our family at a local Mexican restaurant.
“Dress casual. By casual, I mean real casual. This is not some fancy wannabe Mexican food place. This is a down home authentic Mexican restaurant. We’re all going to eat far more than we should but trust me, it’s going to be well worth it” my dad said with a laugh.
I had to laugh
along with him because that was certainly true. Over the years we’d been known to spend hours at the restaurant. Their food was out of this world delicious and the margaritas were top notch.
It pained me to let her go even just for a few hours, but I had no choice. I’d
never wanted someone so badly, and it shocked me.
Everyone went
his or her separate way and I drove home with a smile on my face. I’d be spending another night getting to know Tess, and that pleased me to no end. If luck were on my side I’d be getting to kiss that incredible mouth again. I knew not to push her too far too fast, but kissing didn’t seem to be off limits.