Picturing Perfect (29 page)

"It's how I feel," he said, swallowing hard. "I think I've been in love with you since I was fifteen years old."

I didn't know what to say, I stared at him in shock and total elation. Jason was able to read me so well. He knew I wasn't rejecting him. He crushed his lips to mine with an urgency I hadn't felt since our last time at this tree house. Every part of me was ready for him.

Straddling his lap, I yanked his t-shirt off. My eyes bulged out of my head as I took in the sight of him. His body was gorgeous. He was toned and muscular, something he hid behind his t-shirts. But, that wasn't the only thing he was hiding. He leaned back on his elbows and looked at me with a devilish grin.

"Tattoos?" I asked, surprised and excited by this side of him.

"Yeah," he nodded, swallowing hard once again, "is that a problem?"

"God, no…not at all." I'd always thought of Jason as the sweet guy behind the hipster glasses. But, now I could see there was so much more. My fingers traced over the first tattoo, on the left side of his chest, a quote that I was familiar with:
The art of art, the glory of expression and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity.
I traced it once again with my fingers, kissing the tight skin of his chest gently as I finished.

"That's beautiful."

"Walt Whitman," he said with a grin. It seemed fitting that he would have a quote from his namesake somewhere on his body…especially one that reflected his attitude about writing.

My eyes searched his skin for more body art. He chuckled as I stumbled upon another quote along his bicep. He flexed slightly as I gazed at the words. This one said:
All my life I've looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time.
I traced this one with my fingers as I read it aloud. A genuine, heartfelt smile crossed his lips.

"Hemingway. He fascinates me," he said, running his fingers through his hair. Beneath me, I felt Jason getting hard. The touch of my fingertips along these words of script was turning him on just as much as it was turning me on.

"There are two more quotes." He pointed to his opposite shoulder:
To be alive at all is to have scars.

Jason opened his mouth to explain, but I already knew. "John Steinbeck," I said, tracing this one slowly with my finger. Something must have hurt him…something big.

"Someone hurt you," I said.

"She didn't mean to. She didn't even know," he said, looking guilty. And I knew. I was that person.

"When did you get this?"

He swallowed, narrowing his eyes as he paused.

"Tell me," I insisted.

"Almost seven years ago."

I searched his eyes and I had my answer. That's when I started dating Tucker. My eyes searched his, asking for confirmation as we stared at one another in silence. He just nodded, and I closed my eyes tightly to keep the tears at bay. I wouldn't spoil this night.

"You said there's one more?" I asked with hope.

He nodded. "Yes. This one's new. I got it after our date a few weeks ago."

I raised my eyebrows, searching frantically for this new quote, for the hope that it was something about renewal, something about beginnings, something about
us
.

He pointed down to his side, just below his ribs. I sat back on my knees and gazed down at the quote. Instantly, I knew it was a love letter to me, to us:
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. —Nietzsche

"
I know ours is not the typical boy-meets-girl story. But, I love you. And I have for most of my life."

"Shh," I replied, dragging my fingers seductively over his lips. "Don't say anything more. Show me."

Jason's eyes widened as he flipped me gently onto my back, kissing me hard. He deepened the kiss immediately, his tongue gliding gracefully into my mouth. His hands roamed underneath my sweater and camisole until I felt his fingers tickling the lace of my bra. I moaned softly into his mouth before I rolled him onto his back and straddled him again.

Slowly and methodically, I unzipped his jeans. His breathing was ragged as he watched me. As I pulled down his pants and boxer shorts, I discovered another tattoo: a simple, large ampersand, low on his hip. It had been hidden all this time.

"You were holding out on me." I let out a wicked laugh before tracing this final tattoo with my fingers.

"I forgot about that one." He laughed. "That's just for me. For my love of the written word."

"It's beautiful," I said, leaning down, tracing the symbol once again, only this time with my tongue. Slowly, ever so slowly, I traced that symbol. Jason's breath hitched. With each stroke of my tongue, I felt him getting more and more aroused beneath me.

"Aw, hell," Jason said, breathing in deeply.

"You like that?" I asked, not holding back any longer. I wanted him. Now.

"Oh yeah," he said. "Get up here."

I crawled slowly up to him, gently removing his glasses from his face, kissing the tip of his nose. He pulled me down to him and bit my bottom lip. That slight amount of pressure sent me into a frenzy. I ran my fingers through his sandy hair again and again as he kissed me deeply, his lips full and strong. He sat up, taking me with him and gliding my jeans past my hips. I kicked them off eagerly as Jason removed a condom from his pocket.

"Can't forget this." He chuckled.

"Oh, thank God," I sighed, "I was hoping you had one."

"I, uh…have a few." He chuckled again as he gazed into my eyes. He was worried about embarrassing me. But, I wasn't ashamed to want him. I'd wanted him for most of my life.

"Good," I said, matter-of-factly, tipping my chin. Jason's smile widened as he ripped the package open. I took it from his hands. "Let me."

I slid the condom onto him as slowly as I could. Jason breathed in deeply through his clenched teeth. Still on his lap, he eased me onto him. I gripped his shoulders as he entered me. It'd been so long since I'd been intimate with a man. And it would be the first time since giving birth to Marty. It stung at first, but my body adjusted quickly.

Jason placed his hands on my ass and gently guided me up and down as he nibbled and sucked on my neck, craftily releasing my breasts from my bra. His hands caressed my skin, tickling my nipples gently as I moved. Delicious pressure was building inside of me.

Jason moaned as he took a nipple into his mouth, gently grazing the tip with his teeth. I shuddered and quickened my pace, throwing my head back as Jason pressed his hips into me again and again. I cried out as I climaxed, gripping his shoulders tightly. He continued thrusting until he found his release, and groaned into my shoulder.

For several minutes, we stay glued to one another, not moving at all, except to grasp one another tightly.

"I love you," Jason whispered into my ear, kissing me on my neck.

"And I love you…so much." I sighed into his shoulder, my arms wrapped around him, clutching him for dear life. His fingers ran up and down my spine, his fingertips tickling my hot skin.

He was mine. And I was his. It had taken us way too long to get there through all the madness we had both created. But we were there. And I refused to go back to a life without him. It had all been worth it. All of it.

"The pizza will be here in ten," Jason called from the kitchen. I finished burping Marty and laid him down for the evening. He was sleeping through the night and it was incredible. I was also sleeping through the night, so I felt like a new person. I forgot how much I missed getting several hours of sleep
in a row
.

Soft music played in the living room. Giving Jason a quick peck on the lips, I noticed he'd taken his glasses off and was rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"You okay?" I asked, pulling on the neck of my wool sweater. Jason took my hand away from the fabric, shook his head and smiled. He knew my nervous habits. And he hated to see me worry.

"Sometimes these things hurt. No big thing," he said, picking up his glasses and swinging them slightly in his hand.

"Ever thought about contacts?" I asked.

Jason placed his tortoise shell glasses back on his nose, crossed his arms and tilted his head. "What are you trying to say? Aren't I sexy in these?"

He was only teasing, but I still felt a little guilty. He placed his fingers through the loops of my jeans and pulled me into his chest. A smart-ass look upon his face, he leaned in close, so close I could smell the peppermint on his breath and the fresh scent of soap on his skin.

"What are you worried about?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

"You."

"I'm just fine. Never better."

"That's what you do when you're upset. You grasp the bridge of your nose."

A look of surprise crossed Jason's face. As if he had no idea I could read him as well as he read me. That surprise turned to satisfaction, though, and he nuzzled his nose into the sensitive spot behind my ear.

"I love that you know me. Like, really know me," he whispered.

"I do. I hope I do, anyway." I laughed as he hit my ticklish spot, right next to my earlobe.

"Is he down?" Jason asked, his voice still soft, but menacing.

"Yes," I breathed out, "but, the pizza…"

"Shit." He laughed, pulling his head back.

"Plus, my mom is stopping by."

"Oh?" he asked, curious.

"Yeah, she said she had something to show me. Probably something for the baby."

Jason kissed my cheeks, my forehead and chin before responding, "Later then."

"Definitely." I nodded. Just as I pulled away and started to walk back into the living room, Jason pulled me back by my belt loop, twirling me into his arms. A surprised yelp escaped my lips. Jason threw his head back, laughing at me.

"Did I scare you?" he asked, placing his hands on my ass and hoisting me into his arms. Quickly, I wrapped my legs around him as he backed me into the counter, placing me on the granite and moving his hands up to my waist.

"Never," I responded with a simple shake of my head.

"That's good." He smoothed down the hair in front of my face, placing it behind my ears, and never breaking eye contact. His stare gave me goose bumps.

Lightly, he pressed his lips to mine, teasing my top lip with his tongue. Every part of me stood at attention with that tiny movement. I opened my mouth, inviting him in, but he took his time. Tempting me with tiny licks of his soft tongue. My bottom lip, my top, and back to my bottom. Each time I tried to lean in to deepen the kiss, he pulled back, torturing me further. There was nothing sexier than Jason Kelly pressing me into the kitchen counter as he teased me with his tongue. Nothing.

Finally, when I couldn't take it any longer, I grabbed the back of his head with both hands, pressing him to me. My legs worked in tandem, pulling him closer. He chuckled as he allowed me to deepen the kiss, running his fingers through my hair as his tongue swept through my mouth. Pulling away again, he moved to my neck, sucking and licking as I sighed, completely wrapped up in the moment. Just as his fingers lifted the bottom of my sweater, the bell rang.

"Nooooo," he said, digging his fingers into the granite and sighing into my shoulder. I had to laugh. I felt Jason's arousal through his jeans. I knew he was no longer in the mood for pizza. Quickly he walked to the door, paid the delivery man and with flushed cheeks placed the pizza on the kitchen table.

I hopped down from the counter and opened the cabinet, reaching up for the plates. As I reached, I felt Jason's fingers tracing the skin on the small of my back. A delicious shiver ran up my spine and goose bumps returned to my arms.

"What are you doing?" he asked with a sexy, troublemaking tone.

"It's time to eat."

"I wasn't done with you yet," he whispered. And now instead of his fingers, I felt his lips on the skin just above my jeans. Leaning forward in surprise, I clutched the counter, not exactly sure where this was headed.

Quickly, I reached for the phone and dialed my mother's cell.

"Seriously?" Jason asked with a groan, kissing the freckles on my back. "You're making phone calls?"

"I need to know if she's on her way."

Mom answered on the second ring. "Honey, I'm here. Just parking the car."

"Okay," I responded with a sigh. Jason groaned as I hung up the phone.

"She's here, isn't she?"

"She won't stay long. She never does," I attempted to assure him as I turned his way. Still on his knees, he pressed his forehead into my belly button. Running my fingers through his hair, I did my best to calm down, knowing Allison Foster would be walking through the door in less than a minute.

She knocked briefly before walking in, just as Jason jumped to his feet. When her eyes meet his, Mom looked embarrassed, knowing she'd interrupted us. But, I couldn't focus on that because my eyes were glued to her hair.

Her thick hair, normally just tied back in a simple bun, had been cut, colored and styled. She now had an angled bob that sat just below her chin. She looked stunning…and somewhat like her old self.

"Mom, your hair!" Walking quickly to her, I inspected her new locks. She turned around so I was able to see the entire cut, smiling as she spun.