"You know that I love you," he started.
"You really think that's enough," I gaped at him. "You really do. You think you can say that forever and not make any kind of committment. I feel like I'm in limbo."
"You're free to leave limbo and wander elsewhere," he said dryly.
"I'll keep that in mind, Rhys. We both know that is always an option for
you
."
I popped my headphones into my ears to end the conversation. He must not have wanted to talk anymore either, because he left me alone for the rest of the ride home.
"Will you come tomorrow?" He asked when we pulled up to my house.
Typically, he would have stayed the night or we would have went back to his place, but he must have sensed that I wasn't having it.
"Sure," I sighed and got out of the car without even a small kiss. Even though it was my choice, it broke my heart a little bit.
So, I showed up to the game, even though I really didn't feel like being there. Every now and then Rhys would look my way and give me a brief smile or small wave.
"He's something, isn't he?" Nicole said, suddenly at my side.
I looked at her curiously for a moment before answering. I had gotten over my envy and jealousy of her, for the most part.
"Yes, he is."
"He sure does carry a flame for you," she said with a hint of sadness in her voice.
"
Not really," I sighed.
"Sure he does.
It's obvious
."
"Don't be ridiculous, Nicole," I snapped.
We were quiet for a few minutes. I felt bad for snapping at her. It really wasn't her fault I was
feeling
heart broken.
"Sorry," I said softly.
"Hey, I know how you feel," she said soothingly.
"How could you know?" I asked, trying to keep my tone even. "You're the one that got him to sit still for half a beat."
"Well," she shrugged. "I just think I was in the right place at the right time."
"What does that mean?" I stared at her.
"I caught him at a good time. For whatever reason, he was just ready for something steady, and he settled for me." She wore a sad smile on her face as she gazed across the field at
Rhys
.
"You're selling yourself short," I said.
"No," she shook her head and smiled a little wider, though it was still sad. "I'm not. I know my value, Lindsey. I love who I am and I have a lot to offer the right man, but he's not it - or I'm not for him. It's all the same."
We stood in silence for a few minutes, watching
Rhys
run around with the kids. It was warming and sad to watch. He seemed like he would make a great father figure, it just didn't look like he was going to father any of my children.
"Look, he loves you right?" Nicole asked, a little more chipper.
"That's questionable." I scowled slightly.
"He wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it," she sighed and I really began to feel bad for her. "Lindsey, he's probably just afraid."
"
Rhys
? Afraid?" I asked doubtfully.
"Yeah,
Rhys
afraid."
I looked back at
Rhys
, who was now standing with a group of people, drinking a bottle of water, flushed from playing with the kids. His eyes met mine and he flashed me
a
quick smile.
"Is it just me, or is his smile an instant turn on?" Nicole asked.
"Totally," I said. "Oh, here he comes."
"He's really good in bed," she sighed.
"Fantastic actually."
"I'm going to need a cold shower."
"Bad idea," I warned. "You'll just be cold and horny with harder nipples."
She gaped at me and then suppressed her laughter as
Rhys
strolled up.
"What are you two smiling about?" He asked, stopping very close to me.
"About our girls night out we're planning," Nicole said, slinking an arm around my waist.
"Oh. Yes." I reciprocated, sourly noting how tiny her waist was.
"Is that all?" His eyes questioned me.
"Of course that's all," I rolled my eyes at him. "So, how about that bar on Lincoln? They have really good food, too."
"Good for me," Nicole said. "I'm going to go ask Muriel and a few others." She released me and slipped away.
"When did you and Nicole become so friendly?" He asked.
"Does it bother you that we're friendly? Upset that you won't be witnessing any cat fights?"
He grinned. "No, it doesn't bother me, although I would love to see a cat fight."
I rolled my eyes at him.
"I can be your designated driver tonight," he said stroking my arm. "I will pick you up, bring you back to my place."
"I'll think about it." I pulled my arm away from him. He was driving me crazy
, sexually and heartbreakingly crazy.
"I want to spend
some time
with you tomorrow," he said more seriously. "I miss
ed
you."
Aww man! How could I say no when his breath was on me, his brown eyes were imploring, and oh wow he's stroking my hand
. The power of his touch never diminished.
"Okay," I said in a small voice.
Besides, I was leaving the next afternoon to go visit my parents in Cali. I wouldn't see him for a week and a half.
He smiled widely and planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek.
Another shot down the hatch. I don't know how many I've had. I lost count somewhere between my fourth drink and sixth shot. I'm surrounded by other women: Kit
, who was home for the holiday,
Nicole,
my friend
Chari, Freddy the
Death Punch
Finger, Alice and Kelly, also from work, and two of Kit's college pals visiting for the weekend, Gina and Becky. Everyone but Chari is getting blasted.
"Someone has to be sober enough to drive you drunk bitches home," Char had said at the beginning of the night.
Drunk bitches indeed!
Men couldn't stay away. How could they with Kit and Nicole in our midst? They both could be super models, and the rest of us weren't too shabby. One guy, Hal, insisted on buying my drinks, and I easily accepted, even though I knew that he thought he was going to get lucky.
"You're very pretty," he said in my ear. We were alone in a corner. I was seated on a barstool and he stood very close next to me. I mean VERY close. I could feel his erection on my leg.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Hal asked.
Technically, no. Roll with it, sister.
"Nope," I smiled.
He grinned. "Let me buy you another drink."
Hal bought me a
few
more drinks. I was feeling fiesty and let him caress my thigh. That little creepy voice in my head told me that I was out of line, but the logical part of me reminded the creepy voice that I was not in a committed relationship. The drunk part of me told the other voices to shut the hell up.
"Will your friends let you leave with me?" Hal asked.
I glanced over at my friends. They were keeping a tight eye on me, but not interfering. They knew the deal.
"I don't know," I swayed in my seat.
"I just want some alone time with you, Lindsey." He leaned in closer so that his lips touched my ear. "I can make you feel really, really good." His lips grazed my cheek as he pulled back.
I opened my mouth to speak, but I looked over Hal's shoulder and saw Rhys glaring at us from across the bar.
Shit. I've never seen him look so angry.
"My ride's here," I said, and weakly tried to push him away.
"I've got something you can ride, baby," he said.
I laughed, a drunk loud guffaw. "That's a terrible line!" I pushed at Hal again. "My ride's here. You should move before he comes over here. Oh. Oh no. Oh, here he comes."
"He?" He asked, confused. He turned right into Rhys's fist.
"Here he is," I sang softly as Hal stumbled backward.
"You said you didn't have a boyfriend!" Hal said, holding his jaw.
"I don't," I shrugged and scooted off of the barstool. I followed after Rhys, who was being "escorted" out of the building by security. I blew kisses to my astonished and amused friends and ran out into the night.
I followed Rhys to the car a little ways down the street.
"Hey, Fist of Fury!" I cracked up at my joke.
"Get in the fucking car," he growled, and shoved me inside.
"Hey, be gentle!"
When he got in and started the car, I pumped up the volume on the radio. Rhys reached to turn it down, but I slapped his hand away.
"I love this song! I love this song!" I yelled, pushing his hand away. I sang and danced to
Telephone
by Gaga and Beyonce. "Stop calling, stop calling!"
Rhys got tired of my performance and turned it off.
"Party pooper," I grumbled.
"What the fuck were you doing in there?" He asked.
"Flirting."
"Lindsey, you're not taking this seriously. I am
so
angry!" He opened and closed his hands around the steering wheel.
"Simmer down, David Banner."
"It's not funny!" Rhys roared.
I covered my ears. Even in my drunken state, I was surprised by the level of his anger. It was borderline scary. If I had any sober sense, I would have been afraid.
I kept my ears covered even though he kept calling my name and talking. I didn't uncover them until we got to his house. I jumped out of the car and tripped over my own two high heeled feet and fell to my hands and knees.
"Lindsey," Rhys sighed, and helped me to my feet.
Once we were inside, I kicked off my heals and threw off my jacket.
"Is this going to be a habit of yours?"
"What?" I asked, walking to his bedroom.
He followed me very closely. "Picking up strange men in bars."
"I didn't pick him up. Clearly. You're here, not Hal," I laughed.
Rhys closed his eyes, maybe mentally counted to three and then opened them. His voice was tightly controlled when he spoke.
"He had his hands all over you and you were fine with it."
"I don't technically have a boyfriend, so it's all good in the hood." I threw him what may have passed for an idiot gang sign before I kicked out of my jeans.
Rhys took a very deep breath.
"What's wrong?" I asked. "Are you jealous? Is that it?"
"Don't go there," he warned.
"You are, aren't you? Well, I can make you forget about it." I ran my hand across his chest. He watched me with barely contained anger.
"I wasn't going to have sex with Hal," I said, running my finger along the waistline of his jeans. I knew my next words were going to be uncalled for and downright immature and mean, but I said them anyway. "I might find someone more interesting to fuck in Cali."