Pieces of Summer (A stand-alone novel) (25 page)

Chapter 48

MIKA

“You’re it for me,” Chase says as he collapses on top of me, almost crushing me with his weight.

“You’re it for me too,” I say breathlessly, kissing the side of his neck as our bodies stay joined.

He holds me tighter, burying his face against my neck. Sometimes I almost think it’s a dream to feel this way… Not real.

“Mika,” he says against my ear.

“Yes?”

“Mika!” he yells louder.

“What?”

“Mika! Mika!”

I jolt awake, grabbing my chest as something loud bangs from the living room.

“Mika! Open up, damn it!”

My blood freezes in my veins. Hunter? That definitely sounded like Hunter.

“Mika!” Aidan roars, and something heavy slams into my door like it’s about to be broken down.

Shit!

My legs swing off my bed, and I run down the hallway, feeling my entire body shivering with nerves. How the hell did they find me?

Just as something bangs on the door again, I swing it open, and two strong arms immediately wrap around me, almost knocking me down as someone clings to me and buries their face in my neck. It takes a second to realize it’s Aidan.

“Fuck you,” he says around a choked, strained sound, and my heart breaks in my chest as I slowly wrap my arms around him, returning the embrace. I can’t remember the last time Aidan hugged me.

It’s not allowed.

Physical contact stirs emotions.

Emotions lead to irrationality.

Too much emotion is not allowed, and I’ve just gotten my emotions back in check.

That doesn’t stop me from hugging him as hard as I can as the tears I’ve restrained for weeks start to creep out. Hunter flips on the light as he steps inside. The exhaustion in his eyes hurts to see, and with the way Aidan is clinging to me…

“You fucked up,” Hunter says, shaking his head as he comes to wrap his arms around me too, making it one big group event. “And you were wrong,” he adds against my ear.

I don’t speak, because my brother is still clinging to me like he can’t let go, and Hunter is tearing up. If I try to say anything, I’m going to break down.

For several long, silent moments, we stand there in a group hug, until Hunter finally withdraws and clears his throat, wiping his eyes as he turns away. Aidan continues holding me, and a new sense of self-loathing seeps in.

I did this to him.

In my quest to make his life better, somehow I’ve made it worse.

Whit said he was bad, but I didn’t realize he was destroyed. There’s a huge difference.

Hunter just stares as Aidan’s grip slowly loosens, and I hear his breathing change seconds before his knees give out. A grunt leaves my lips when his body becomes dead weight, forcing me to strain to keep him upright, and Hunter hisses out a breath before he grabs Aidan and lifts him off me.

He bends and Aidan drops over his shoulder, completely passed-out, and my eyebrows go up in confusion as Hunter stands with Aidan dangling. He carries him over to the couch and drops him there, and I go to help adjust him so that he wakes up comfortable instead of awkward.

“Aidan doesn’t sleep this hard,” I say more to myself than Hunter.

“He barely sleeps at all, he’s drunk off his ass, and he finally found you. Who knows how long he’s about to crash.”

The bite of anger in his tone causes me to flinch.

“I didn’t expect this,” I whisper, brushing my brother’s hair away from his face as he snores loudly.

Hunter is glaring at me when I turn to face him, and I see the heavy exhaustion in his eyes as well.

“We’re family, Mika. All of us. And believe it or not, you’re the fucking glue. You think it’s such a hardship to love you and live by the rules that you need for stability? You’re wrong. Hell, look at him. Look at me. We’ve barely slept, all hell has broken loose at
your
home in Hayden, and alcohol has become our best friend. Mostly Aidan’s. So fuck your logic and your stupid decision.”

Blowing out a shaky breath, my eyes drop back down to my resting brother. He looks absolutely wrecked.

“It’s just been two months.”

“And you look fucking fine,” Hunter says bitterly.

Yeah, that hurts.

I turn back to face him and cross my arms over my chest.

“I’m not fine. At all. I’m miserable, if that makes you feel any better. Lonely. Scared most of the time, since I’m in the middle of nowhere. I’m also sick of eating pizza.”

He snorts, but the amusement dies quickly.

“Then come home. Any home at all. Back in New York. Back to Hayden… You name it, we’ll follow.”

“And do what? It’s an adjustment, but you two can’t keep sacrificing a normal life to deal with my fucked-up-ness.”

“Normal is overrated,” he deadpans.

When my lips twitch, I get irritated. “Don’t make me smile right now. I’m trying to be angry and strong.”

He cocks an eyebrow. “I don’t give a damn what you’re trying to be, but I know I’m stubborn. Hope you have a guest room. I’m not sleeping on the floor, and after what you’ve put us through, I’ll take your bed if there’s not another one available. I won’t even feel guilty about it.”

He smirks as he walks down my hallway, digging out a wedgie as he goes, and I blow out a long breath while dropping my head back to stare at the ceiling. Going back to Hayden is not an option. I hate this cabin-in-the-woods setup, but it’s best to stay detached from people. Hunter and my brother can’t follow me around to take care of me, damn it.

Why won’t people let me be selfless? I’m trying to do the right thing for them.

Chapter 49

MIKA

After a few minutes of just standing beside the couch like a motionless idiot, I walk outside, needing fresh air. Hugging myself, I step onto the porch, staring up at the full moon.

As my eyes drop down, I glance over at a truck… What the hell?

Confusion hits first, then my stomach tilts. Why did they drive Chase’s truck?

As the question marks start to form, I feel someone step in behind me, and my entire body tenses all over.
His
scent washes over me, and everything on me twists and grows tight, making it hard to breathe or move.

“I bet the moon would look better from the roof. Too bad you picked a house with a deep-slope roof instead of a flat surface. Makes it a little more dangerous to hang out up there.” His voice is calm, as though this is a casual day.

There’s just a tiny chill in the air, but my entire body feels like I’m sitting in a tub of ice. I actually expect to blow out a puff of fog when I finally release the breath I’ve been holding.

No fog. Just surprise gets blown out.

“Not talking to me?” he muses, sounding just as confident and cool as he always does, while I try not to let my teeth chatter.

My eyes are wide and unblinking as I stare at absolutely nothing, finding myself picturing him in my mind. I bet he’s smirking.

“Not a problem,” he goes on. “I came here to talk to you, anyway. Glad you’re more in a listening mood.”

My breath gets lost once again when he steps in front of me, but his face is just a shadow with the moonlight at his back, and he looks like a silhouette of bad decisions and trapped pain.

“Once upon a time, some skinny girl showed up in my town, and my life finally had something good in it,” he says, a smile in his voice.

“That was ages ago,” I say hoarsely, wincing at how pathetic my voice is. “That girl is gone.”

I hug myself when I feel unwanted tingles running up and down my body, every nerve-ending being ignited from his close proximity.

“That girl is different, but not gone,” he says on a sigh.

He moves toward me, and I stumble backwards in my haste to keep him from touching me. He stops, freezing in place, and I feel him studying me.

Damn it. I’m out here in just a t-shirt and panties.

“Remember that first summer that I was eleven and had bruises all over me, along with a few scrapes and cuts?” he asks randomly.

I swallow hard at the painful memory.

“Your father had gotten drunk and you stepped in between him and your mother when things got physical,” I say quietly.

He nods. “I limped all the way to your house, and you hugged me. It was your first reaction. You didn’t ask questions. You didn’t press me to spill everything. You didn’t do anything but soothe me with your presence. Then… Then you got angry when you learned what happened.”

“Once upon a time, I didn’t think it was possible for a parent to be so cruel to a child. I thought Clyde had a demon in him,” I mumble, then sigh. “What does this have to do with anything?”

“You demanded Milton go do something, and he did. He sent the cops over there like any normal citizen would. Cops were on my mother’s list of freebies, so as long as she didn’t press the issue, they let it go. Despite all her drug use and alcohol abuse, she was beautiful and had power over any man who walked in. Nothing got done about it,” he goes on.

My heart aches in my chest.

“I’m aware. Again, why are we discussing this?”

My body jerks when his hand is suddenly on my cheek, surprising me. I try to turn away, but he invades my space, sliding his hand down to cup my chin and tilt my face up.

With the way we’ve turned now, the angle allows the moonlight to touch his face, revealing the soft eyes and hope there. No pity.

“It was the first time anyone ever tried to stand up for me,” he goes on. “It was the first time anyone had ever cared about me to the point they were furious on my behalf. I was sure then that I’d be with you one day. I knew I’d never be the same after that day. I felt like I was worth something for once. You tended to every cut and checked every bruise like you knew what you were doing. We were kids, and you were fierce.”

“I was pissed,” I correct. “At him. At them. At everything you had to go through. But you don’t owe me anything for the past, Chase. Stop bringing it up. What I did was done because I cared about you. I’m not looking for reimbursement now that the tide has changed.”

He snorts derisively.

“I’m well aware. You’d be too prideful to ever let someone pay you back, Mika. You know that’s not what I’m suggesting.”

“Isn’t it?” I ask bitterly, watching as his lips tense.

“It’s not,” he says with so much conviction that I believe him. “I understand now, Mika. I’ve gotten all the sordid details, and I’m not the least bit concerned. I can—”

“You don’t know me anymore,” I interrupt, choking back the onslaught of emotions I just got under control. “I’m not that fierce, sexy, fun vixen, Chase. I’m a whole lot of crazy and a strong dose of psycho stuck inside a body that enjoys self-mutilation when something small goes wrong.”

He flinches, but my pride isn’t worth much in this moment, so it’s time to lay out all the ugly truth. He needs to leave. They all need to go. It’s just going to make it worse.

“I feel non-existent bugs crawling on me when things go wrong. I feel a phantom pressure build inside my core. My body longs for release. The more emotionally attached to something I am, the worse the reaction. I have to get better, and I can’t do that with emotional attachments all around me.”

“You can’t get better without emotional attachments there to force you to get better,” he counters.

“Suddenly an expert?” I ask through clenched teeth. “My brother has no friends other than Hunter. He’s never had a serious relationship. I’ve never met a single girl he’s been with—other than Whit. Hunter is the same way. I’m like poison and fire at once—killing everything around me and burning it to ashes.”

Several long, painful moments of silence hang between us before he finally steps back and releases me.

“I’m sorry your opinion of yourself is so low,” he says at last. “It’s too late to argue, so we’ll continue this in the morning. Don’t bother looking for your keys. I’ve already hidden them.”

He smirks
and
winks as he walks by me, and I hold my breath as he disappears inside my house. “We’ll continue this in the morning,” he says without looking back as I turn to stare at his retreating figure. “I’ll have backup then.”

Damn it.

Chapter 50

CHASE

Mika’s two-bedroom home is too small for four people, but I slept on the floor in the living room without complaint.

The sun was barely up when I heard the shouting. Four hours later, Aidan is still arguing with Mika, who is adamantly refusing to allow him to be tethered to her. Hunter is arguing just as fervently, but I’m just listening. And biting the fuck out of my tongue.

It’s hard not to lose my cool and punch out the both of them. The problem is, they’re not getting through to her because they’re only pissing her off.

She’s spent two months closing herself off—two months detaching herself with tools of psychiatry that I don’t even want to think about. That first shrink did a number on her and made her believe she could never have a life.

“I’ll go to a judge. They’ll rule in my favor that you don’t have the mental capacity to make your own decisions,” Aidan argues, getting right in her face.

That one
really
pisses me off, and my fists clench at my sides.

“Or they’d just lock her back up,” I bite out.

Hunter and Aidan snap their gazes toward me, but Mika turns away as though she’s embarrassed, making me regret speaking up.

“I won’t be deemed unfit to make my own decisions,” she says coldly. “You know that. Dr. Stein will never sign off on me being incompetent.”

Aidan cuts his eyes back to her, but she’s gone. Physically she’s still right in front of us, but mentally, she’s a thousand miles away.

Both of them see it as well, because Hunter looks crestfallen as he stares at the distant look on Mika’s face.

“I’m starving,” Hunter finally says. “Let’s get some food and regroup afterwards.”

Mika turns and moves toward the back door. “Go without me. My appetite is gone.”

Aidan curses as she walks out and gently pushes the door shut behind her. When he tosses a vase against the wall, it shatters and clanks to the ground in pieces.

“You have to get control of yourself. You’re acting more irrational than her right now,” Hunter tells him.

“She’s not acting irrational at all,” I point out, earning a glare from Aidan. “If anything, she’s using cold logic. You’re never going to get through to her.”

“She’s my fucking sister. If anyone can break through, it’s me.”

I’ve kept quiet all morning, but I’ve reached my limit. Standing slowly, I take a step toward him. He doesn’t back down. I think he’s looking for any excuse to fight me.

“Calling her incompetent is getting through to her?” I growl. “You think Mika enjoys feeling like you think of her that way?”

Some of his anger ebbs, revealing his true desperation. He sags to a chair, and he groans while gripping his hair. He doesn’t say anything for a few moments, but he finally looks back up to Hunter.

“Let’s grab that food. I need coffee or something and a second to calm down.”

Just as I toss Hunter my keys, I look back at Aidan.

“If you know her so well, you’d know that pissing off Mika only solidifies her decision. She might be different, but she’s still the same. She’s stubborn as fuck. The angrier you make her, the easier it is for her to keep her resolve.”

Hunter’s lips twitch, but Aidan won’t meet my gaze. It’s not fair to him for me to act like I know her better, but I’ve learned a lot about him over the past two months in Mika’s absence.

He’s more dependent on her than she is on him. He feels like she’s his purpose in life. As admirable as it is that he’s trying to do right by his sister, it’s also sad that he never took the time to truly learn all there is to know about her.

What gives me hope is the fact Mika is still the same Mika. It’s everyone treating her like she’s so different that pisses her off. It’s probably why she’s doing so much better than Aidan after the long separation.

She’s strong independently. He’s only strong in her presence.

No more words are exchanged as Aidan stands and leaves with Hunter. As they walk out, I push open the back door to find Mika sitting on the deck railing and staring out at the vast woods.

“This is nice, but not as nice as the lake view,” I state softly.

She doesn’t react or even acknowledge I’ve come out here, and my lips twitch. She can handle arguing, which is why I stopped arguing last night. She can handle yelling—it just fuels her. There’s only one way to crack that wall she’s managed to put back up.

I prop up beside her, leaning against the railing, and she tenses noticeably. When my arm barely brushes hers, she turns into stone.

“This is hard enough to deal with, Chase. Please go,” she says quietly.

“Sorry. Can’t do that,” I say with a shrug and a smile.

She darts a sidelong glance at me before returning her gaze to the woods again.

“I just realized something,” I tell her, scooting closer until our arms are fully touching.

She doesn’t move, but I can hear the hitch in her breath. When she doesn’t respond, I go on.

“This is the first time I’ve seen you after summer.” I smile broader, but it backfires on me.

“Funny. It’s not the first time I’ve seen you after summer,” she says flatly. “Maybe I should have fucked someone else to end things the way you did.”

Fuck.

“I was a kid. As stupid as it sounds, I thought I was being strong and noble, when in reality I was being weak and a coward,” I confess.

Slowly, some of her tension leaves. “You did what you thought was right. In the end, it worked out. Everything happens for a reason. Now leave me alone so I can return the favor.”

The coldness is gone from her voice, and her pain carries through despite her attempts to mask it.

“Eleven years ago, summer came and you weren’t there,” I tell her on a sigh. She tenses again, but I continue. “I’ve spent all this time thinking I did the right thing, even though I resented you for deserving better. But in truth, I used it as an excuse.”

She turns her head toward me with questioning eyes.

“I never thought I’d be better than what I came from,” I confess, watching her frown. “Letting you go because you deserved better was the easy way out. It meant I couldn’t fuck it up later on and lose you. I wouldn’t be able to destroy you the way my parents destroyed each other. It was weak, Mika. Not strong. I labeled it with good intentions, when in reality, it was a scared kid making a childish decision.”