Authors: J F Elferdink
“Now, do you see that young nurse holding a tray with your drugs on it? In just a few seconds, she will put the tray down and leave the room. I know because I read in her mind that she forgot to call her husband about the change in their plans for this evening. She’ll return as soon as she makes that phone call.”
As Mark watched, the nurse put the tray on the credenza in the alcove and walked out of the room. In about the time it would have taken him to call Janie, the nurse was back and busying herself with filling all the bags wired to his body.
Mark had a new appreciation for his companion. Whoever, or whatever, he was, Zachri now had his full attention.
“Focus on me, and I will spare you from becoming ‘scared to death’, a rather frivolous term; if it were a more common human experience, the expression would rarely be mentioned in conversation.”
Just the thought of what the phrase implied made Mark’s adrenaline level soar.
“Do you believe I would allow you to be harmed while you are with me?”
“I don’t really know what to believe!”
“Pay attention to your spirit, Mark; acknowledge what you are feeling inside.”
“You sound like a pop psychologist. I never bought into that stuff. Could we discuss something a bit more plausible?”
“I have already explained that I am but the messenger. The One who makes this offer is giving you a chance that few living men receive and fewer accept
,
but I must make it clear that this journey will challenge you beyond anything you’ve experienced. In fact, you couldn’t succeed without my guidance. Are you willing to begin?”
“No, I’m not! How about just guiding me back to where I was. I want my life back. I want to talk with Janie. Above all, I want to wake up and realize this was just a bad dream. Find another dream to haunt, please, and get out of mine!”
Martin gazed at his father with tears streaming down his cheeks. He noticed an abrupt change in his dad, a visible tensing of his body. It almost seemed as though he was trying to escape from whatever held his body and mind captive.
Without taking his eyes off his dad, Martin listened to the doctor’s report.
“We now believe your father’s semi-comatose state is an overdue reaction to an undiagnosed, long-term, thyroid problem and not directly related to the infection or the kidney problem. It would have improved his chances for a full recovery if the original diagnosis had been accurate. We still hope…”
‘Would have improved’; those words hit Martin in the pit of his stomach and he shut out everything else the doctor had to say. ‘When are you going to wake up, Dad? I don’t know what to do. I called Mom but she doesn’t know what to do, either. I feel like I have to be strong for Clare, but I can’t keep it together much longer. Please don’t leave me now.’
“Come back, please come back; whoever, or whatever you are! Zachri! I’m pleading for you to return. I’m terrified by this total isolation. It feels like I’m sliding into obliterating blackness. I’m sorry I doubted you. I admit my cowardice.”
Zachri reappeared and Mark sensed a protective shield surrounding his body once again; at the moment that he saw Zachri, verses from the
33
rd
chapter of the
Biblical book of Job reverberated through his mind:
‘Yet if there is an angel on his side as a mediator, one out of a thousand, to tell a man what is right for him; to be gracious to him and say:
‘
Spare him from going down to the pit; I have found a ransom for him
’—
then his flesh is renewed like a child’s; it is restored as in the days of his youth. He prays to God and finds favor with him, he sees God’s face and shouts for joy; he is restored by God to his righteous state.
”
“Mark, I asked you earlier to try to get in touch with the sensations you’re experiencing. If I am merely mortal, you have reason to feel uncontrollable panic. However, once you accept that I am what I profess to be, a messenger, a spirit sent by God, you will experience unaccountable peace. How do you feel right now?”
“I guess I’d say it’s somewhat like how I felt during my last MRI when I had to lie perfectly still for what seemed like hours. I was so thankful that they gave me a sedative. It melted away all the tension of being trapped in that cylinder.”
“What you experienced then was drug-induced; this is not. Your present security is a gift from the Creator of the universe. You already know of His love for His creatures. Why is it shocking that He sent me to you?”
“Why is it shocking?! I have only read about angels visiting humans when they had some extraordinary news to pass on; like to the shepherds when the baby Jesus was born or to the Virgin Mary to inform her that she would soon be pregnant. So far you haven’t given any indication that anything so profound is happening to me. If you truly are a spirit, then why am I, a very ordinary man, the recipient of a supernatural visit?”
“You seem to believe that you have to earn everything good that comes your way. I told you, when we first met, that I was summoned to fulfill a request for your healing. Have you never read that when you ask in faith, you receive?”
Well, yeah, but I’ve tried it several times in the past, and it didn’t work.”
“Your girlfriend asked, believing she would be heard.”
“If Janie trusts in you, I guess I shouldn’t be quite so skeptical. And it seems like I don’t have much more to lose. Okay, free my body from this comatose state and let’s get going.”
“No, Mark, I did not suggest that. The journey I’ve offered takes place only in the spirit. Your body will remain where it is as you travel back in time to your turning points.”
“That’s preposterous!”
“Why is traveling back in the spirit less possible than having this conversation? No part of your physical body is engaged as you speak.”
Zachri went on.
“These episodes from your past may seem like a theatrical performance, but you will be playing yourself. Some of the characters in your life’s play are the original actors; others will be ‘stand-ins’ but you won’t be able to tell the difference.”
“You see,” Zachri continued: “once humans have crossed over, their past, present and future are fused, creating one identity.
They also become one with the whole heavenly community, taking their place in the completed puzzle. This ability is inexplicable to humans who see themselves as wholly separate individuals, never fully making contact with others; even those whom they love most dearly.”
“What you’re saying is utterly confusing. How can individuals merge and still retain their individuality? I understand that each puzzle piece must be in its designated place to complete the image. But relating puzzles to what happens after we die is incongruous!”
“The only way I can answer some of your questions is to use simple human objects to reveal what you cannot comprehend.”
“Okay, Zachri, that was the easier question, and I’ll just accept your explanation. The more disturbing question is my second one. Why must we revisit events in my life?
“
By the way, I don’t agree with you about never fully making contact with another person. Even though Janie and I haven’t been face-to-face all that often, we have become exceptionally close—‘soul mates’: a term I never appreciated until I met her.”
“I told you some things cannot be fully understood by the earthbound. Answering your second question is simpler, although not easier. Mark, do you remember the biblical story of Job?”
“
That’s f
unny, I just thought of it
and
I haven’t read
that chapter
in many years. I used to attend an Episcopalian church, although I only did it to fulfill one of the obligations of my job. All senior bank officers were expected to do whatever it took to be perceived as upstanding members of the community.”
With a sudden look of apprehension, Mark said:
“What does this have to do with the question I just asked?
Is that why you’re here? Tell me you’re not here to test my religious knowledge!”
“No, that’s not it!” Zachri replied, smiling.
“It’s just that many people have read the story and it’s as good a way as any of describing what is going on right now. Remember the part where the Lord says to Job: ‘brace yourself like a man: I will question you, and you shall answer me.’?”
Mark nodded, a look of comprehension dawning on his face.
“As you’ve admitted, Mark, you have been ignoring what you might call your ‘gut feelings’ these last few years. The time of reckoning has come. Your physical condition is much more serious than you have acknowledged to your son, to Janie or even to yourself.
”
Janine received an update from Martin on Mark’s status. It was, however, much less optimistic than the first:
‘There has not been any change in Dad's condition, he remains non-responsive to any kind of stimulus, and all that can be done is to wait and pray that he awakens. The
doctors and hospital here are as good as any in the world, and we know Dad is getting the best of care. All the tests confirm that he is experiencing a myxedemic coma resulting from his long-term thyroid gland problems
and now magnified by the blood
infection. Your prayers are appreciated, but I’m afraid we can only wait.’
Janine tried very hard to believe that Mark would wake up at any moment and she would hear his voice on the other end of the line saying: “Hello Lover, I just took a little nap but now I’m wide awake, with you on my mind.”
Though part of her mind was in torment, envisioning him lying mummy-like in a Swiss clinic, she still believed this crisis would soon be over. Since her family had taken her relationship with Mark lightly, believing that a long-distance romance would lead nowhere, she didn’t share the burden of her aching heart. She laughed. She ate. She tried to listen to the conversations swirling around her and the screaming in her head went unheard.
***
Mark lay motionless, but his mind was feverish.
“Zachri, please don’t tell me you’re the angel of death!”
“No, Mark; that is never my role.”
“Do you want my confession? In the last few weeks, I’ve thought a lot about the people I mistreated. I wish I could relive those times and make different choices.”
“Admitting your mistakes is healthy but I’m not here to be your priest.”
“So what do you want from me?”
“I want you to accept this gift; the gift of your recovery.”
“That is precisely what I’ve been asking for. When I wake up, will I remember you as a figment in a dream? Will I remember this at all?”
“That is not what I said; restoration will not come instantaneously. Remember, I told you that you would be reliving some of the crucial events in your life.
“
This time you are traveling as a spirit, becoming both a participant and an observer. That gives you the advantage of recognizing the effects of your choices, even on people you didn’t personally meet.”
This couldn’t be real. Even in his most bizarre imaginings, he had never conjured up a ghost or any other kind of spirit and here was one implying that he, Mark, would have a spirit’s trait: the ability to read the minds of complete strangers.
What he had just heard made him want desperately to stop listening, but the consequences of shutting Zachri out of his life were too unpleasant to contemplate.
Zachri continued.
“Nothing you ever faced has such power to alter not only your own life but also the lives of your descendants.
“
Will you trust me? Shall we begin the journey?”
Mark reeled at Zachri’s next words:
“By the way, if you choose not to go, my work with you is finished.”
As this statement sank in, Mark felt his hope fading.
“Could I make a deal with you, Zachri?”
Without waiting for a response, Mark continued.
“What type of restitution could I promise in return for being released immediately from this coma?
“
I would give all I have - and you know that is a good deal - to the poor; just to hug my son and daughter-in-law, get on the next plane and fall into my lover’s arms as quickly as possible.
“I need nothing you have, Mark. I am not here to take what is yours. You know why I’ve come.”
As Zachri said that, Mark became aware that his mom and dad were showing up in his mind’s eye. ‘What if I could see them again when I return to my past? Would I be overjoyed or would it just reawaken my grief?’
The mental images became more like a motion picture, featuring himself as a teenager.
This scene was eerily familiar: His parents’ home, just before his eighth-grade graduation ceremony. He could almost hear his mom reprimanding him…
“Mark, your sister says you’ve been reading a book instead of getting dressed. Are your shoes polished? Your hair combed? Your father will be embarrassed if any of his colleagues see you looking rumpled at the podium. Have you practi
c
ed enough?”
“Come on, Mom, I’m nervous enough! Lay off, will ya?”
“I’m sorry, honey. I am very proud of you. It’s just that some of the other parents know your father is on the school board. We don’t want them to think you didn’t earn this honor.”
“I’m really tired of all the hassle just because people know Dad. I’d prefer to have a family like Wayne’s. His folks don’t make a big deal out of everything. Or, better yet, I’d like to live in India or Africa. African students don’t wear shoes to school. Maybe that’s where I’ll go when I graduate—either that or I’ll join the Navy.”
“Honey, your father and I have plans for your future that don’t include a third-world country or military duty. We’ll discuss those plans later.
“
Now it’s time for us to go.”
As the scene with his mother faded from his mind, Mark realized that, right up until the year both his parents died, he had accused them of trying to arrange his future.
This notion must have been sowed that day, at the end of eighth grade when his mother’s impulsive remark
—
probably made to stop him from whining
—
had irritated him enough to make the Navy his goal.
‘Would I want to see them again? With all my heart! I want to make up for the shameful way I’ve treated them, and for using them as my scapegoat.
‘
Those dear people meant the world to me and I rarely let them know.’
“They know.” Zachri assured him.
“What did you just say?”Mark asked.
“They know. I know your parents. We are members of the same community. I assure you, they know how much you love them. I am their messenger, too, relaying what they want you to know: that their love for you never waned, even through the years you hardly spoke to them.”
Mark’s expression was beseeching, saying without words that he wanted to believe but that it was a monumental struggle. In the heat of his struggle, it came to him that to believe this he would have to admit that everything Zachri said was true.
“If I follow you, can I count on being restored to my family and to Janie?”
“I can only promise that you will be allowed to choose the next phase of your existence.”
“I’m not sure what that means, but I won’t argue. I’m beginning to believe in you. Let’s get going.