Pierced by Love (20 page)

“I never said that you do,” she stated calmly. “But you seemed to want to kiss me. Otherwise, that would never have happened.”

A joyless laugh escaped his lips. “Are you telling me that it wouldn’t have been a big deal if I had kissed you? I seriously doubt that, sweetheart. You’ve been emotionally distraught over Chase and Melody for weeks. You’re not ready to let go. Every time we go somewhere, you make sure I understand that it’s not a date. I don’t need to get myself entangled with someone who is still in love with her ex.”

“In love with my ex? I’m not so sure about that anymore!” she exclaimed. “But I am worried about getting involved with someone again so soon after Chase dumped me. So what is your excuse?” Pierce’s glare told her that he wasn’t in the mood. Too bad. He could just deal with it. “Why do you shy away from relationships?”

“I’m not having this discussion, Noelle. So you can just drop it.”

“No, I won’t. Because your sister-in-law told me about what happened with your dad while you were growing up, things that still have yet to be resolved. Even as an outsider, I can see that you’re still hurting over the time he didn’t spend with you. Speaking of not getting over something, you’re still not ready to let go of the hurt and anger you feel over the way he ignored you.”

“You’re right,” he agreed angrily. “You are an outsider and Marissa had no business mentioning that.”

“That’s not the point,” she argued, ignoring the stab of pain she felt at his words. After all they’d been through lately, why was he suddenly acting like such a jerk? “Why is it so hard for you to confront your dad?”

“I did this morning, actually. Or he confronted me. And even though I learned some things I didn’t know before, it doesn’t change the fact that he wasn’t there for me when I needed him the most.”

Noelle was shocked by the revelation. That, at least, was a start in the right direction. “Of course not. No one can change the past. But you can have a better future if you let go of your hatred toward him.”

“I don’t hate him. I despise what he did, however.”

“Really? Because it seems to me you’re confusing the two.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

She nodded sadly. “You’re right. Marissa told me that too. You’re so good at sharing your opinions, offering to help other people with their problems, yet you won’t let them do the same for you. Communication is a two-way street, Pierce. And you’re as close-mouthed as they come!”

Once again, he pressed his lips together in silence, which only served to infuriate Noelle even more. Good grief! If she had known she was walking into such a minefield, she would never have accepted his invitation to come to California. Noelle had never believed that her parents were perfect, but at least they were open and honest with each other and their children.

“He can’t change the past, Pierce, even if he wants to. None of us can. But it’s clear to me that he’s trying to change the future. Why won’t you give him a chance?”

They were almost back to his father’s house now. The winding roads were giving Noelle a headache, or maybe it had been coming on since the argument began.

They pulled up to the house. After a long silence, Pierce whispered so softly that Noelle almost didn’t hear him. “Because it hurts too much.” Noelle was given the distinct impression that this was the first time he’d said it aloud to anyone.

Her voice softened. “I’m sorry to dig up old wounds. I wish that I could take that pain from you. I can’t. But the Lord can if you give it to Him. Isn’t that the message you were telling me yesterday?”

“Yeah,” he said grudgingly. He tossed her a rueful smile. “You win.”

“Thank you,” she replied with mocking smugness. “I learned how to argue from the best, you know.”

“I don’t even know how we got onto the subject of my dad in the first place. We were talking about us.”

“If I recall correctly, someone in this vehicle didn’t want to talk about ‘us.’ ”

“I don’t want to talk about my dad, either.”

Noelle smiled widely and winked. “All right,” she conceded. “How soon will the others be back?”

“I’ll give them a call and find out.” He pulled out his cell phone and dialed. Soon, he was talking to Craig. After a few minutes, he pocketed the phone. “They’re on their way. Craig said that we’re all going to eat out tonight, so we should just wait for them.”

“Okay.”

They sat there, each lost in their own thoughts, until the others pulled up and the garage door opened. “By the way, Noelle,” Pierce said softly, “talking with my dad this morning did help to clear up some misunderstandings. But we have a long way to go before our relationship gets better.”

“Just don’t close yourself off to him. Open yourself up to new possibilities.”

He nodded pensively. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Open yourself up to possibilities
. Pierce wanted to punch the wall. Noelle was about as open to the possibility of starting a new relationship as Pierce was in having a real relationship with his dad.
Whatever, Noelle
, he thought as he turned on the shower. At this point, Pierce was tempted to just blow her off, take her back to NAU, and cut his losses. There were other girls to date. But if he could get his mind off of her long enough to think about dating someone else, that would be a miracle.

The fact of the matter was that Noelle challenged him, made him think about something besides his own problems, and made him want to become a better person. It was true that she was opening up old wounds in the process, which hurt like heck. Feelings that he’d buried deep were now fighting their way to the surface. Feelings of inadequacy, of never being good enough. Add to that his growing feelings for Noelle and it was no wonder that his frustration level was boiling over.

He quickly showered and turned off the spray, mulling the problem in his mind. They had one more day in California before returning home on Thursday. He couldn’t just hide out in the bedroom he was using during that time. It would be tough, but he’d put on his game face once again and act like nothing was wrong.

Nothing at all.

He was good at that.

In theory, it was a good plan. In practice, however, Pierce had the sinking feeling that he was setting himself up for failure. Noelle had the uncanny ability to see right through him. Suddenly, he knew with certainty that he’d met his match. And she wasn’t going to let him get away with giving less than his best. One hundred and ten percent!

SIXTEEN

G
OOD GRIEF!
Noelle thought as she dressed for the evening. Had she really told Pierce to open himself to possibilities?
Isn’t that what you need to do too?
an inner voice mocked. Okay, so she wasn’t very good at following her own advice. What right did she have to assume she knew the answers to Pierce’s problems?

The others had assured her that casual attire was appropriate for their dinner out. Still, Noelle wanted to look her best. She pulled on a flouncy multi-colored tunic in browns, yellows, creams, and oranges with a swirled design and tightened a wide orange belt around her waist, completing the outfit with a pair of slim white jeans and beaded sandals. She added a chunky necklace and a pair of dangling earrings, hoping that she hadn’t overdone the look. As for her pink fingernails, oh well. She hoped no one would call her on it.

Her mind returned to Pierce. She knew she’d hit a nerve. She needed to apologize. He’d been so kind to her through the past month in addition to inviting her to join his family’s get-together and she had to go and make his time here miserable with her lecture.

She left her bedroom with its four-poster bed and violet-sprigged bedspread and turned down the hallway. Rounding the corner, she slammed into a solid chest. “Ach!” she gasped, stepping back. She looked up at Pierce, who caught her by the shoulders. He looked good wearing a button-down short-sleeved shirt that matched his rich brown eyes.

He grinned down at her in amusement. “We really need to stop bumping into each other. If you want to dance with me that badly, come to the institute dances.” Noelle punched him in the arm. Pierce turned serious. “I was just coming to see if you were ready. Everyone else is waiting downstairs.”

“Oh.” Her cheeks grew warm. She hadn’t realized she’d taken so long worrying about her appearance. “I’m so sorry.”

He tugged on her hand. “Don’t worry about it.”

The group rode in two vehicles to the restaurant. Pierce and Noelle, along with Gage, were crammed into the back of the Lexus with Jared and Tamara in the front. Noelle was grateful for Tamara keeping up a steady stream of comments to fill in the awkward silences. She glanced at Pierce. His face had turned to stone again. She wanted to throttle him. Or kick him in the shin like they did in the movies. Why couldn’t he make a little more effort to interact with his dad and stepmother?

Craig and Marissa parked their car next to Jared’s and unbuckled their children. Jared led the group into the seaside restaurant where he’d reserved a table.

Pierce was quiet throughout the meal, answering questions that were directed at him but volunteering nothing in return. Noelle did her best to swallow past the seafood on her plate, but secretly, she wasn’t fond of it. Finally, she’d had enough and nudged Pierce’s arm. He looked over at her. “Are you okay?” she whispered.

He smiled at her reassuringly and replied, “Yeah. Just thinking.”

This was neither the time nor place to apologize, but Noelle vowed that she would do it as soon as possible before returning her attention to her food. The buttered rolls and vegetables were wonderful. She tried to fill up on those.

When the group finished, they returned to the house, enjoying the moonlit sky. Jared Logan turned to his children and announced, “Before we go our separate ways for the night, I would like to gather everyone together for a family prayer. I should have called all of you together last night, but it was a little chaotic.”

Noelle glanced at Pierce. His features revealed nothing as he followed the others inside where they knelt in a circle before the natural stone fireplace. The only person who appeared to be uncomfortable was Gage, who hung a little further back. Jared surveyed the group, smiling sincerely at his wife and children. “You don’t know how special this moment is for me. I never thought I’d have another chance to be kneeling with all of you again in prayer.”

He bowed his head while everyone else did the same. Jared offered up a humble prayer that was both simple and eloquent, thanking Heavenly Father for each member of his family and asking for Him to heal their broken hearts that they might come together in love. Tears slipped through Noelle’s eyelashes as the prayer was concluded. When she opened her eyes, she saw Tamara and Marissa wiping theirs as well.

Pierce’s lips were parted in a soft smile. “Must be a girl thing,” he teased gently, eliciting chuckles from the others.

She chuckled along with them. “Must be,” she agreed.

He took her hand and pulled her to her feet, not letting go as he guided her out the back door where they’d sat on the same bench yesterday afternoon. Neither of them said anything at first, enjoying the cool air and the sounds of the night creatures. The moon bathed them in soft light. Noelle looked down at their hands, which were still intertwined. She was afraid to break this spell.

“I need to apologize—”

“Noelle, I said some things—”

They grinned at each other. “You first,” Pierce offered.

Noelle took a deep breath and began again. “I need to apologize for the way I talked to you this afternoon. I don’t know what it was like for you while growing up and I shouldn’t have judged you. I’m sorry.”

“No, you were right. I need to forgive my dad for his negligence. Now that I know the full story, I can see that he was just trying to cope while he and my mom were going through a rough time. My mom was partially to blame too.”

“They’re both good people who made some mistakes.”

He looked at her in surprise, then told her the full story of his parents’ estrangement. Finally, Pierce said, “Noelle, I also said some things that I’m not proud of this afternoon. Please forgive me.”

“You have such a strong bond with your brothers, Pierce. Your relationship with your dad can be just as strong with some effort.”