Pink & Patent Leather (4 page)

And it did. My phone rang and rang. It rang as I pulled up in front of the Four Seasons hotel in Georgetown. It rang while I checked in and even as I followed the bellman who led me to my room. It rang when I settled onto the soft duvet, and
it rang when I picked up the remote and clicked on the television. My cell didn’t stop ringing until I powered it off. I had never even looked down to check out who was calling me because I knew. Xavier would have called until I answered. And since I had no plans on answering, I had no doubt that he would’ve just rolled up to my condo, which was exactly why I had checked into a hotel.

Xavier would want to confront me, but I wasn
’t about to give him a chance, at least not last night. We would have our confrontation, but it was going to be when and where I wanted it.

Part of not wanting to do it last night was because I didn
’t want to see the immediacy of Xavier’s heartbreak. I knew I’d be able to not only see his hurt, but feel it, too. But on the other side, there was a part of me that wanted him to be hurt. I needed him to be hurt. I needed him to think about what had happened all night. I needed him to feel used and cheated. And then, he would be furious, filled with rage, and waiting for me in the lobby of the church—which is exactly where he was. 

As I eased my car down the lane that passed right in front of Grace Tabernacle, I could see Xavier through the huge glass doors
––pacing, anxiously, prowling the foyer like a lion waiting on his prey. It looked like he was wearing one of the suits, the grey one, that I’d helped him pick out when we’d gone shopping at Lenox Mall right before we came back to DC in May.

His head was down as he paced, as if he was thinki
ng, trying to figure out his next move, and though this was the way I wanted it, I had to admit that I was a bit nervous. It was going to be hard to face him, but this was the plan. Xavier was part of my sacrifice and he had to be one of my casualties.

Ta
king a final glance at Xavier, I pulled my car into the space that was reserved for my parents. Now, even more than yesterday, I was glad that they were not here to witness all of this. I wanted everything to be complete before they came home and had to face these people.

Even after turning off the ignition, I sat in my car and turned up the volume. As usual, WHUR was doing it, playing the best in Sunday morning music.

“I need you now! I need you now...not another second or another minute...”

I closed my e
yes and from my shoulders up, swayed to Smokie Norful’s soulful voice. I got into the words, especially the part where he sang about needing God right away. That’s how I felt. I needed God now. Because having to face Xavier wasn’t going to be easy.

Yes, th
is was a plan that had come straight from God, but Xavier could be a scary dude. I mean, as handsome as he was, there was no doubt, he had been some places. Sometimes when I looked at him, he reminded me of someone who’d been to prison and who had spent every one of his free hours in the pen working out. I knew that wasn’t the case, though.

Xavier had grown up very different from the penitentiary look that he had. Even though he
’d been raised by his single mother after his father deserted the family when Xavier was just four years old, his mother was determined to raise Xavier and his brother in a middle class household. She was a secretary in the English department at Morehouse, then after an eight-hour day at the college, she went to work at her part-time job in the Walden’s Bookstore in the Greenbriar Mall that was only blocks away from the Southwest Atlanta neighborhood where they lived.

While I always had the love of both my parents who showered me with attention: hugs, kisses, gifts, and the granting o
f all of my wishes, Xavier’s mother didn’t have time for all of that with all of the hours that she worked. In fact, X talked more about his grandparents. It was his grandmother and grandfather who took care of them after school, watching over them as they did their homework, making sure they had dinner. And then on Sundays, it was his grandparents who took him to church while his mother rested at home on the only day when she didn’t have to work.

Church had made the greatest difference in Xavier
’s life. “I don’t know what it was, Pink,” he told me the first day when we’d met, “but in church, that’s where I felt complete love, God’s love. That’s where I found peace.  Even as a little boy, that’s where I felt the greatest peace of my life.”

Well, I hoped tha
t Xavier was feeling a little bit of that peace now as he waited for me. Yeah, I wanted him upset, and I knew he was after listening this morning to the dozens of messages he’d left on my cell—the last one at midnight stating that he was waiting for me at my condo. But, I wanted him to be calm, too. I didn’t want him to go off, didn’t want him to do anything to hurt me.

“
Well, here goes nothing.”

As I stepped out of my car, I smiled for the first time this morning. I had parked right next to the space tha
t was soon to be mine. Malik and his wife’s spaces were to the left of my parents and I couldn’t wait until I’d be pulling my Beamer (or maybe I’d have a Bentley like my parents by then) right next to Malik’s Mercedes. This morning, I’d awakened with such a yearning for him, such a strong need to be close to him. I was thinking that there was no need to wait. Maybe I could have Malik in my bed by tonight. 

Slowly walking up the steps to the front, I could see my reflection in the glass doors. Today, I was
wearing my Sunday best...which was much more conservative than what I’d worn last night. Well, if you could call my hot pink, knee-length, St. John’s knit that hugged my hips and dipped in at my sides, conservative. That probably wasn’t the right word since this dress put my hourglass shape on full display. My patent leather, snake-skinned Calvin Klein pumps and black snake-skinned Fendi bag really set things off on the outside, while my barely-there black stockings, Juicy Couture garter, thong, and demi-bra held my secrets beneath. Those secrets were mine for now, but would be used to my advantage by the end of the day.

Right when I hit the last step, Xavier glanced up, but he didn
’t make a move. I waited for a couple of seconds and then, I pulled open the door myself. I couldn’t believe he didn’t even come over to push the door open for me.

But after what I
’d put him through, what could I expect?

He didn
’t even say hello. He just whispered, “Can I have a word with you?”

Now, while I had thought that our chu
rch was the best place to have this discussion, I was surprised that Xavier wanted to do this right here. I mean, folks would be walking in for the service and in just a few minutes, the lobby would be crowded with people standing around, greeting their friends, and waiting for their pew buddies. And even right now, there were more than enough stank folks standing to create an audience that would make our business theirs.

While pulling out my Handi-Wipes, I greeted him with a smile. “
Good morning, Minister Xavier,” I said, as I wiped my hands, needing to clean them after I’d touched that grimy door. “Can this wait until after service? I’m running late, and I refuse to dishonor Holy ground.”

Now, you may think I was just throwing around a line or two, but I
respected the house of the Lord and I had no intention of having this discussion until well after service. And, actually, I didn’t want to talk in the church at all. I was hoping that we would have the talk in the parking lot so that our words would be between just the two of us. I especially didn’t want the nosey old bats who were standing around included.

I expected Xavier to agree. Surely he didn
’t want to display our business in public. But then, he surprised me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into an embrace. Just at that moment, the front door opened and Sister Stroman strolled in, with her Bible in her hand and her nose in the air. She was the First Lady, so you would have expected her to say something to somebody. But she just walked away like she was the most important person in the building. I smiled because she wasn’t heading in the direction of the sanctuary. She was on her way to Malik’s office.

Good! That meant that I would get to the sanctuary before she did and I
’d be able to execute the first part of my plan without any problems from her. God’s favor was shining on me already, but I wasn’t surprised. Didn’t the scriptures say that all things work together for good for those who love The Lord?

My attention returned to Xavier, though, when h
e hissed, “Listen to me, Sasha. I don’t know what kind of games you’re playing, but I’ve been here for you. I’m the man God intends to be your husband, not Pastor Stroman.”

My eyebrows stretched to the top of my forehead. Really? Xavier thought that God w
anted us to be together? While he’d often talked about us being a couple, he’d never talked about marriage. Well, now that I thought about it, maybe he had, but I never let him really talk about it since that discussion served no purpose.

But now, I reali
zed that Xavier’s thoughts about us was far worse than I thought and I felt bad. There was nothing I could do about it, though.

His lips hardly moved as he continued, “
Don’t you know he’s a man of God who’s happily married?” he said as if I didn’t already know that. Well, I knew about the married part, but Malik was far from being happy. He couldn’t be because if he were, God wouldn’t have put together this plan.

But I guess Xavier didn
’t know all of that because he kept talking. “Pastor’s certainly not going to leave his wife or lose his church over some little girl with a big crush.”

He paused as if he expected me to say something, or come to my senses. I
’m not sure which. But I said nothing, and I had more sense than he did at this moment. Because I was doing what God wanted.

Xavier said, “
You actually want me to believe that God would ordain for you to take another woman’s husband?”

Then, he shocked me for a second time when he leaned over and kissed me. A gentle, warm kiss that felt so sincere I a
lmost felt bad. I closed my eyes and let his lips linger on mine. Now, I wasn’t trying to lead him on, but it was just that Xavier’s kisses were the best. Not that I had anyone to compare him to, but whenever he kissed me, I could feel it all the way down to my soul. Even now, standing in the church where I was about to become the First Lady, it was hard for me to break away because this felt so good, it almost felt right. And I enjoyed the familiarity of this connection. In that moment, I realized that I wasn’t completely ready to let my best friend go.

But I couldn
’t get caught up like this. Especially not with Malik so close by. That’s why I finally broke away, and then turned from him as if he nor the kiss mattered to me. I didn’t get two steps away, though. Xavier gently grabbed my arm, pulled me back, and whispered in my ear, “Didn’t you feel that? That’s what you mean to me. I love you, Sasha, and I don’t intend to stand back and watch you make a fool of yourself.”

If he had just left it at loving me,
it would’ve been a beautiful moment. But he’d had the audacity to call me a fool? With all the force I could muster, I whipped my hand right across his cheek. Honestly, I tried to slap the taste from his mouth, but I certainly slapped him hard enough so that he’d think about it before he ever called me a fool again.

As he stood there, recuperating more from embarrassment than pain, I stepped aside, not looking at him, and not looking at that audience of nosy biddies who stood there gaping as if they had f
ront row tickets to some show.

When I walked into the sanctuary I pushed what had just happened between me and Xavier far from my mind. Instead, I allowed myself to be caught up in the majesty of this moment. Even though I
’d been home from college for almost three weeks now, this was my first time back at Grace Tabernacle.

“
Good to see you, Pink,” one of the ushers said as he approached me.

I nodded, smiled and then followed him down the left-side aisle. I knew exactly where he was trying to lead me
—I’d sat in the second row with my parents ever since I was a child. But when he stopped at the second pew, I moved right to the front.

“
Pink,” he whispered.

I just pretended I didn
’t hear him, which wasn’t hard to do. The choir was up and in it.

“
We’ve come this far by faith! Trusting in The Lord!”

They swayed and the congregation moved with them. So, when I didn
’t answer the usher, he just moved right back up the aisle to greet the next church member. Then, I sat down. Right in the front row, first seat, and I savored the feeling. I felt like I was sitting upon a throne rather than just on a fabric-covered pew. I had returned to Grace Tabernacle to claim everything that was mine, and that included this front row seat.

When the choir got to the second verse, I s
tood and sang and swayed with them. Closing my eyes, I worshipped God in all His reverence. On the outside, I sang. But inside, I prayed and thanked Him for my life––my future husband, my future children, and my future home.