Authors: Faith Bleasdale
Keith was washing glasses. He had taken the job as barman at the Bull and Barrel as a desperate measure – he needed the money. Although he had done plenty of bar work, he had never worked in a pub like this. The clientele were mainly market employees, which meant that the first rush came at seven or eight in the morning when the stock had been delivered and the night workers were going off duty. He had never before seen men drink so much so early. The other rush, was at lunch-time, which he was still clearing up from, and the last was the after-work rush, which almost made him feel normal again.
There was a great atmosphere in the rush times, even the morning one. He really enjoyed those times. Unfortunately, in between it was boring. He had polished glasses, cleaned tables, emptied ashtrays and now he was polishing the glasses again. There was nothing else to do. The landlord insisted that the pub stayed open, although they rarely got any customers. He was thinking about asking for a television or even a radio to keep him company. He thought the punters might like it too –
if football was on a television, it might attract evening trade.
A television would be great, Keith thought, as he moved around the bar to decide on the best place to put it. Then he stopped in his tracks.
A tall black girl walked in and marched up to the bar. This was unusual for many reasons: she was wearing a suit and suits never found their way in here; she was a girl, they didn’t get many girls either, and she looked like she was crying. Her red eyes almost glowed against her gorgeous dark skin. Keith composed himself and flew back behind the bar.
“
Drink, love?” he asked, in his friendliest barman’s voice. The girl just stared at him. Keith stared back.
“
Whisky,” she said.
“
Shall I make that a double, love?” he asked. She scowled then nodded.
He poured the drink, and she paid him then went to sit in the corner. Keith was a surveyor of people. He often watched the men in the pub and thought about their lives. He could tell if they were married, single or gay, and he would while away the hours by thinking about their lives. He could see that this girl was upset. He suspected she
’d been dumped. From her clothes she was probably a secretary, and he could tell by her demeanour that she was feeling hostile. Keith prided himself on his perceptiveness. He was just thinking about where she lived when he got another shock.
In walked a gorgeous blonde in a short skirt and jacket. She walked to the bar and smiled. She had nice teeth.
“What can I get you, darling?” Keith put on his best seductive barman’s voice.
“
Vodka-tonic, ice, make it a double.” She had stopped smiling.
“
Coming right up.” Keith winked at her but she was staring intently at the girl in the corner. As Keith handed her her drink and she paid him, she looked as if she was going to ask him something, but she obviously changed her mind. She hovered by the bar for a couple of moments, giving Keith the chance to check out her breasts. They were very nice indeed. He thought she must be another secretary, probably working with the first girl, and he hoped she was single.
She lit a cigarette and Keith felt weak at the knees. He studied her legs as she decided to go and join her friend.
***
“
What are you doing here?” Clara asked, blowing smoke into Ella’s face.
“
Piss off,” Ella replied.
Clara ignored her and sat down.
‘don’t tell me you’ve been sacked as well?”
“
What do you mean “as well”?”
“
Well, I’ve been sacked and I guess you have too. Otherwise what would bring you to this God-forsaken place?”
“
I have,” was the curt reply.
“
Wankers,” Clara said, draining most of her drink.
Ella nodded. Now her world really was turning upside-down. Not only had she lost her dream job but she was also sitting in an awful pub with Miss Public School of the Year, who was claiming to be in the same boat.
“Can I get you another drink?” Clara asked. Ella nodded again. “Christ I would have to get the sack on the same day as someone who has no conversation,” Clara mumbled as she walked to the drooling barman.
Keith took delight in serving the blonde again, but she didn
’t seem to share his enthusiasm. Keith guessed she was upset that her friend was upset. He wished he could hear what they had said to each other, but they were too far away. He wished he had waited before cleaning all the tables. As the blonde returned to her friend with two drinks and another wink from Keith, the door opened again.
What
is
this? A bloody secretary’s convention? he wondered as yet another girl in a suit walked into the bar. He thought for a moment that she might be a dyke – her hair was short and she had on a trouser suit. Not bad legs, though. He nearly fell over as he came eye to eye with her and saw she had been crying too. Dumped by her lesbian lover. Or maybe the black girl was her lesbian lover. Keith wouldn’t have minded seeing a bit of that. He composed himself as he waited for the latest girl at the bar to say something.
“
Drink?” he asked, when she stayed silent.
“
What?” the new girl asked.
“
Drink?” Keith repeated. Maybe he was dreaming.
“
Yes,” the girl replied.
“
OK, what?” he asked, wondering if she was a bit simple.
“
What?” she asked back.
He was now officially having a nightmare.
“What would you like to drink?”
The girl looked confused. Keith smiled encouragingly: he wanted to put her at her ease.
“Um, brandy,” she stuttered.
“
Large?” Keith asked, but seeing the blank stare, he just poured it anyway. “Are those your friends?” he asked, gesturing to the other two. The new girl looked over; she was in a daze. She stared at them for what seemed ages, but she made no attempt to move.
I think I
’ll quit while I’m ahead, Keith thought, and went back to polishing his glasses.
***
“My God, isn’t that thingie’s secretary?” Clara nudged Ella.
“
Who?” Ella asked, looking at the girl who had just walked in. She seemed vaguely familiar.
“
You know, Isabelle, head of Emerging Markets sales?”
“
Fuck,” Ella said. She didn’t know what was going on.
“
It bloody is. Christ, what
is
going on?” Clara echoed Ella’s thoughts, ran to the bar, grabbed the dazed girl and brought her back to the table. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
“
I don’t know,” Virginia replied, before crying again. Ella said nothing, but she searched in her bag and handed a tissue.
“
Christ, I thought I was in hell when I got sacked, but now I really am. My name’s Clara, that’s Ella and you are?” Clara looked at Virginia, who was still crying.
Ella looked surprised.
“You know me?” she asked.
“
Yes, you’ve done some of my trades. We haven’t really spoken, but I know who you are.”
“
Oh,” Ella said, giving no sign of recognition.
“
I’m Virginia.”
They sipped their drinks in silence. When Ella went to get another round, Virginia stopped crying and Clara nipped to the loo for a line of cocaine.
When she got back, she said, “so, is anyone going to tell what happened? I was sacked for sleeping with a client. But the real reason they sacked me was because I was sleeping with Tim Pemberton, my boss, and he found out I slept with his client, and he got pissed off and asked me to move in with him, or him with me, and he was going to leave his wife and he asked me to resign and I refused, so he reported me for sleeping with this client and I got sacked anyway.” Virginia and Ella stared at her.
“
Really?” Virginia asked.
“
Yes, really. What about you?”
“
Can’t you report Tim for sleeping with you? I mean, that’s against the rules just as much as sleeping with clients, isn’t it?” Ella asked.
“
I suppose, but I don’t want my family to find out, and if I tell everyone I slept with Tim as well, they will. Anyway, I don’t think they’d jump to give me my job back.” Clara’s eyes darkened.
“
Yes, but Tim might lose his and there’ll be some justice,” Ella pointed out.
Clara felt she had made a breakthrough.
“I know, but my family – I couldn’t bear to disappoint them. I always disappoint them.”
Virginia perked up.
“Do you? I do too. I don’t know what they’re going to say when they hear about this.”
“
So what did you do?” Clara asked.
“
I was alone on the desk. I am – I mean, I was Isabelle Holland’s secretary. They were all on a lunch and a client called and I took his order because he was really scary, and it was good and we made a ton of commission. I told Isabelle and she said it didn’t matter. Then I was interviewing for a sales position in Private Clients and they told me I had to tell Isabelle and it was all looking really promising. Then Isabelle said that was fine, but she reported my illegal trade to one of the managing directors and they sacked me. I still don’t understand.” She burst into tears again.
“
I always thought Isabelle was a bitch,” Ella said.
“
Christ, that place is run by egos,” Clara said. “What about you, Ella?”
“
It’s a long story. But, well, in a nutshell I got the job by saying I graduated from Durham University and I didn’t.”
“
Where did you graduate from?” Virginia asked.
“
Nowhere. But I was good at my job. Fucking good. I can’t understand how they found out now.”
“
Gosh, Ella, I didn’t realise you were so interesting. It takes balls to lie about your qualifications. But how did they find out?” Clara was interested.
“
I don’t know how or why or anything. I was so upset. I couldn’t ask those kind of questions and I doubt they’d have told me. They had to sack me but, shit, I loved my job.” Ella had drunk more than she was used to and she felt a little unsteady.
Virginia went to get more drinks, and they all sat, deep in thought.
“I say we get drunk,” Clara said.
“
Clara, this isn’t a jolly girls” outing.” Ella was sharp.
“
Calm down. We’re all in the same boat here. We’ve all lost our jobs and the only way I think I can get through the next twenty-four hours is to get rat-arsed,” Clara finished.
“
What
am
I going to do?” Virginia started crying again.
They drank more and didn
’t notice the evening rush begin. They sat in silence for part of the time; they all asked what they were going to do. None of them could comprehend what had happened, what was happening. For three people who couldn’t be more different, they all had something in common that day.
“
I know. I’m going to fucking get my own back on that toad Tim,” Clara announced, through the cigarette haze that surrounded her.
“
Give me a cigarette,” Ella said, reaching over and taking one.
“
How are you going to get him?” Virginia asked, leaning back. The smell of the smoke coupled with all the drink made her feel queasy.
“
I don’t fucking know, but I am and you two should do the same.”
“
What? Get back at Isabelle?” Virginia’s eyes were wide open.
“
Yes! Get the bitch! Make her sorry she ever messed with you,” Clara was angry.
“
But how?” Virginia asked again.
“
I don’t fucking know, but somehow we’ll all do it. Together. Yes, that’s what we’ll do. We’ll take our revenge on those who ruined our lives,” Clara’s eyes shone with determination.
“
Clara, I think you’re drunk. I don’t even know who I’m getting back at. And, anyway, it’s a stupid idea,” Ella said.
“
Oh, really, Miss High and Mighty Fake Degree Certificate? Someone shopped you, or whatever they call it. Someone was behind your fall, mark my words, and it won’t be hard to find out who.”
“
Really? Fine! You find out, then. Be my guest. I just want to put the whole mess behind me. And I’m not the high-and-mighty one, Miss I Slept With Just About Everyone In My Job.”
“
Well, at least I’m not too into myself to have sex. Ella, you remember this. We will never put this behind us until we’ve got our just deserts. I don’t particularly like you and you obviously don’t like me and, well, I don’t know about her but I expect she doesn’t like either of us. But we have to unite and do this. We owe it to ourselves.”