Plain Paradise (34 page)

Mary Ellen turned around and twirled the wooden spoon in her hand as she spoke. “Because you are—ill. And because you don’t know Jesus and His Father. I think that’s tragic, and I thought perhaps you might learn from us. It’s normally not our way to minister to others about the Lord, but I have a strong feeling that you are the exception.”

“But how much could you teach me in only a day or two? Robert thinks he can catch a flight home from China any day now.” Josie raised her shoulders and let out an exasperated breath. “I wish . . .”

Mary Ellen stood waiting.

Josie tapped her finger to her chin. “I wish I knew what was going on with me. I’ve felt different lately. Especially today, at the funeral. All those people together at one time, praying.” She pulled her eyes from Mary Ellen’s and focused on the brown mat in front of the sink. “I’ve even been praying.” Then she shook her head. “I’m conflicted, I guess.”

“There is much power in prayer, Josephine.” Then Mary Ellen smiled. “A lot can be covered in a day or two.”

Josie returned the smile. “I’m all ears.”

If Mary Ellen could help her attain the hopefulness that she’d felt on brief occasions lately, Josie was willing to open her heart and her mind to the possibilities.P

The days stretched into more than a week, but Robert was due home midmorning the next day. She missed Robert terribly, but until the end she’d treasure her time in this house, with this family. She spent lots of time during the day with Linda, by her side doing laundry, mending, or housecleaning. She’d only had two really bad headaches, and neither had lasted very long. The new medication Dr. Phillips prescribed for the seizures seemed to be working since she hadn’t had one. Getting to know her daughter was all she wished for.

Late in the afternoons, Josie helped Mary Ellen with supper. Linda was glad that it gave her an opportunity to spend some extra time with Stephen. Each day she walked about a half mile to meet Stephen when he drove over the bridge in Ronks, and they would talk for about an hour before Stephen would bring her home.

In an ironic twist, Josie had never felt as alive as she had the past week, and something had changed between her and Mary Ellen as well. During the couple of hours that it took to prepare supper, Mary Ellen talked with Josie about the Bible and about the
Ordnung
, an unwritten code of conduct that most Amish know by heart. And they’d prayed. A lot. And with each prayer, Josie felt more hopeful about her circumstances. She’d begun to have dreams about heaven, and in her dreams it was the most beautiful place she could imagine.

As she felt possibilities springing forth around her, she fought a building resentment at Robert. Josie knew she was a grown woman perfectly capable of forming her own opinions, but she couldn’t help but wonder how differently her life might have been if she’d married a man who had a strong faith like Mary Ellen did. But each time the thought presented itself, she worked to push it aside. Robert was the best man she’d ever known.

Josie was chopping tomatoes while she sat at the kitchen table that evening, sweat dripping down her face, and thinking how good it felt to not wear any makeup. It had seemed pointless after about the second day, as she only sweated it off, and no one else around here wore any.

Since Abe and the boys had gone into town and Linda was with Stephen, Josie wanted to share with Mary Ellen something that had been on her mind before she left in the morning.

“I want to thank you, Mary Ellen. For everything.” Josie sliced the end off a tomato and began to chop it into tiny squares for the stew that night. “I know that my being here has been difficult for you from day one. But I just—just wanted to know her. That’s all.”

Mary Ellen stirred meat in a pot on top of the stove. She didn’t turn around. “You’re welcome.”

“I guess I really didn’t need to be here. I mean, I’ve had a couple of headaches, but no seizures, and overall I’ve felt pretty good.”

Mary Ellen turned around. “
Ach
, I feel quite sure you needed to be here. For several reasons, no?” She smiled, then turned to stirring again.

“I guess you’re right.”

Josie continued chopping the tomatoes, but her mind was a whirlwind of activity. What if she hadn’t stayed here, learned from Mary Ellen, opened herself up to a relationship with God? She’d even been fortunate enough to attend worship service with them all at Mary Ellen’s sister’s house. Rebecca and her husband, Aaron, hosted the Sunday service at their home. It was a long three hours, sitting on the wooden benches, but Josie felt honored to have been invited. Even though she didn’t understand most of the service spoken in High German, there was a sense of amazing fellowship. She still couldn’t say that she wasn’t afraid to die, but alongside her fears there was now hope, hope at an everlasting life.

“Do you mind if I keep seeing Linda in the next few months?” She piled the tomatoes on a plate to her left.

“Of course not.” Mary Ellen was adding potatoes that Josie had peeled earlier to the stew, but she didn’t turn around.

Josie stood up, picked up the plate, and took them to Mary Ellen. “Time for the tomatoes?” She held the plate over the pot.

Mary Ellen nodded, but turned her face away from Josie. But not enough that Josie couldn’t see the tears in her eyes.

“Mary Ellen? What is it?” Josie set the plate on the counter, latched onto Mary Ellen’s shoulders, and gently turned her until Josie could see her face. Mary Ellen swiped at her eyes and shook her head.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. You’re crying. What is it? What’s wrong?”

Mary Ellen covered her face with her hands and sobbed. Then she looked up at Josie with tear-filled eyes. “Josephine . . .” She hung her head for a moment before she lifted her chin and locked eyes with Josie. “I’ve committed a sin against you, against God. I reckon I never wanted you here. I never wanted you to search for Linda, I never wanted her to know you, and I didn’t want you to disrupt our lives.”

None of this surprised Josie, but she wondered why Mary Ellen was telling her this now, when they seemed to have come so far. She waited for her to go on, hoping there would be a
but
coming.

“But I’ve grown to care deeply for you, and I would have never wished this on—on you, never, Josephine. Do you hear me? I never wanted something like this to happen, and . . .” Mary Ellen slumped over, crying hard.

“Mary Ellen.” Josie spoke firmly, squeezed her arms gently, and nudged her to look up. “I know that. Do you hear me? I understand everything you are saying. I don’t think you’ve experienced an emotion yet that wouldn’t be human in this situation. You didn’t make me sick, Mary Ellen. And I
did
disrupt your life. And I never expected to care for you like . . .” A lump in Josie’s throat prevented her from going on. Instead, the women embraced, and Josie held on to Mary Ellen while her own tears spilled.

Mary Ellen eased away from Josie and gathered herself. “I know that God’s will is to be done, but I will miss you, and it saddens me to think—to think . . .”

“I will miss you too.” She dabbed at her eyes and smiled. “But if everything you are telling me is true, which I believe to be so, I’m going to a wonderful place, and we’ll see each other again in heaven.”

“
Ya, ya
.” Mary Ellen nodded as she sniffled.

A loud crash startled them both. They spun around to see a rooster slam through the screen in the door, ripping it in every direction as the winged animal hurtled toward them. Josie screamed.

Mary Ellen grabbed Josie’s hand and pulled her to the other side of the kitchen just as the rooster rounded the corner and headed into the den.

“What do we do?” Josie yelled over the shrill squawking that echoed through the house.

Mary Ellen grabbed a broom in the corner. “Not sure! Something is wrong with that bird!” She ran into the den, and Josie followed behind. Then Mary Ellen screamed, and turned around, bumping right into Josie. “It’s coming back!”

They ran back through the den, and Josie threw her hands over her head as the rooster began to flap his wings and lift off the ground, spewing horrible sounds. Josie didn’t know much about roosters, but this didn’t sound good at all. The bird skimmed the coffee table; books, Abe’s glasses, and a lantern went crashing to the floor. Josie kept running until she got to the kitchen, but Mary Ellen stayed behind. Then it got very quiet.

“Mary Ellen, are you okay?” Josie peeked around the corner, and Mary Ellen had her shoulders scrunched up to her ears as she pointed to the couch.

Josie jerked her head to the left. That bird had perched itself on the back of the couch. Still and quiet. Josie didn’t move. She looked back at Mary Ellen. “What do we do?”

That’s all it took. The bird was in flight, and both women started screaming and trying to stay out of its path as it flew around the den, then into the kitchen, then back to the den. Josie even jumped over the coffee table to get out of the bird’s way, toppling the wooden table over when her foot didn’t quite clear it. Mary Ellen was trying to use the rocking chair to block the bird as it dove toward her, eventually toppling the chair over as well.

Mary Ellen began screaming something in Pennsylvania
Deitsch
when the bird slammed into the china cabinet up against the wall in between the kitchen and den. Then she yelled, “That’s my wedding china!”

Josie was hovering on the couch with her hands over her head, but when she looked up and saw Mary Ellen holding the broom like a weapon and protecting her china, Josie burst into laughter, the type of laughter that causes you to snort and make all kinds of sounds you wouldn’t necessarily want anyone to hear.

“You think this is funny?” Mary Ellen still had her hands gripped firmly around the broom, but her eyes were looking to the left, then to the right. “Where is that bird?”

Josie rolled onto her side on the couch, struggling to catch her breath because she was laughing so hard.

They both turned toward the kitchen when they heard the screen door slam. Linda’s mouth dropped open. She looked back and forth between Josie and Mary Ellen. Then her hands moved over her mouth as she surveyed the area, which, Josie knew, looked like a war zone. When Linda looked at Josie lying on the couch, with tears streaming down her face, she turned to her mother.

Placing her hands on her hips, she said, “
Mamm
, put that broom down right now! What could you two possibly be fighting about? Look at this mess.” She walked toward Josie, mumbling to herself in
Pennsylvania Deitsch
, before she addressed Josie directly. “Are you all right?”

Josie burst into laughter at Linda’s assumption and, through watery eyes, noticed that Mary Ellen was bent over at the waist, laughing as hard as she was.

“Linda!” Mary Ellen yelled between gasps for air and laughter. “Do you really think I would hit Josie with a broom?”

Mary Ellen went to the couch and sat down beside Josie, who sat up next to her. Both women continued to laugh, but Linda didn’t seem to see the humor.

“It smells like something is burning in the oven, and look at this mess!”

“Oops. Forgot to take the bread out.” Mary Ellen started laughing again.

Linda walked toward them, laughing like school girls on the couch. She folded her hands across her chest. “Well, I reckon the two of you better get this mess cleaned up before
Daed
gets here and sees you carrying on this way. He’ll think you’ve been hitting the wine, I reckon.”

Josie heard the flapping of wings, and evidently Mary Ellen did too. “Cover your head,” Mary Ellen yelled to her daughter as she scooted closer to Josie and held her hands above her head.

“What is that—” Linda looked toward the mudroom just in time to see that crazy bird come flying through. She screamed, then joined them both on the couch. All three were still huddled together when Abe walked through the door. He grabbed the rooster by the neck, then eyed the women on the couch, who were trying not to laugh but were unsuccessful.

He shook his head and walked out the door mumbling.

It took a few moments for Josie to gather herself. She took several deep breaths, then she looked to her left at—at—

Her head started to hurt in a way that it had never hurt before, and she slammed her hands to her temples. She could vaguely hear the women asking her if she was all right.

She panicked as her heart began to race, and her head was surely going to explode.
Please, dear God, help me. Oh, please help
.

I am here, My child
.

Then everything went black.

21

J
OSIE BLINKED HER EYES INTO FOCUS AND SQUINTED
from the bright lights in the drafty room. She recognized the smell of the hospital right away.

“Hello, sleepyhead.” Robert ran his hand through Josie’s hair, then leaned down and kissed her on the lips. “How are you feeling?”

“I don’t remember getting here. There was this bird, and . . .”

“You had a seizure last night, and Mary Ellen called an ambulance from their phone in the barn.” Robert pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down. “Mary Ellen stayed with you all night, until I got here this morning.”