Plain Promise (32 page)
“We both know that ain’t possible,” Jonas said with conviction.
“Why do you do that, Jonas?”
Jonas innocently raised his brows. “What’s that?”
“You act as if I could never make the necessary sacrifices to conform to your life. How do you know that? After all the conversations we’ve had, you know me pretty well, and you know what a mess my life has been. Why do you assume I could never be happy here?”
“Could you be? Happy here, that is.”
Kade was suddenly stumped. Usually, Jonas held firm to the conviction that Kade’s staying was not an option. “I’m happy here now.”
“Because you’re on vacation,” Jonas said. “But a man like you doesn’t exchange the things you have for our way of life.”
Kade thought long and hard before he spoke. “Jonas, I’ve been a wealthy man my entire life. Money, possessions, great business success—I’ve had it all. And yet, I don’t have an ounce of the peace of mind you have. And those material gains are no longer alluring to me, and to tell you the truth, I’m not sure they ever were. It’s all I ever knew. Had I not come here for a reprieve from my life, I’d have never known this way of life even existed. So, I really don’t think it’s fair for you to judge my intentions.”
“Is that what you think I’m doing? Judging you?”
Kade eyed Jonas curiously. This was the wise man he’d grown to love, pressing him in ways that often confused him. “Yes, I think you’re judging me.”
“Then stay,” Jonas said, his face somber.
“What?”
“You heard me, my
Englisch
friend.” Jonas remained serious, his eyes fused with Kade’s. “Just stay.”
It became apparent: Jonas was going to miss Kade as much as Kade was going to miss the old man. “But I—” It was a fantasy to think about living here, and the reality didn’t align with the dream. Although he feared leaving Paradise might kill him, he knew he didn’t have a choice. “I have responsibilities that I’ve ignored for too long,” he finally said.
Jonas was quiet for a moment. “Kade, I reckon you’re gonna find that you’re not the same man you were when you arrived here.” He paused, stroking his beard. “But the things you have learned here, along with your renewed relationship with our Lord—this feeling of wholeness—you can have it anywhere. There is no reason you can’t live your life among the
Englisch
with a new sense of freedom. You’ll take it all with you, Kade. God is not geographically prejudiced, presenting Himself more to us than those out in the rest of the world. You can seek Him out from anywhere. His Holy Spirit dwells within you.”
Why was it, when Jonas spoke to him like this, that Kade had a hard time controlling his emotions? “You don’t know how much I’d like to just never go back, Jonas.” He paused and fought the unwelcome tremor in his voice. “I’m afraid, Jonas—I’m afraid that the world out there”—Kade swung his hand toward the door—“will suck the life out of me again—will steal my will and all that I’ve gained here.”
“You still have much to learn,” Jonas said. “Fear hinders a man. Once you stop being afraid, your life will change in ways you’ve never imagined. Fear keeps your heart closed and prevents the Lord from reaching you.”
“Are you scared, Jonas? I mean, the cancer and all.”
“I’m human, Kade. I’d be lying if I said that leaving my loved ones didn’t cause me pain. Chances are, I’ll never see the child that Lillian carries grow much past a toddler, if that much. I worry about leavin’ Lizzie, how she’ll be when somethin’ happens to me. It worries me to leave Sarah Jane, Lillian, and the rest of the people I care about, even though worry is a sin.” He paused. “I am human. But am I afraid of death? The answer is no.”
They sat quietly for a few moments. Then Jonas said, “I came here to tell you some news.” He grinned. “Me and Lizzie are getting married.”
Kade shot Jonas an instant look of approval. “Jonas, I think that’s great.”
“We ain’t farmers with harvests to tend, so I reckon we’ll be gettin’ married next month. The twentieth of April is the day we picked. Sure would mean a lot to us—to me—if you could be here.”
Kade was deeply touched. “I wouldn’t miss it,” he said.
“I know it’s a long way to travel, but sure would be
gut
if you could bring Tyler.”
“We’ll do our very best to be here.”
Kade’s cell phone began to ring. “The closer it gets for me to leave, the more this thing rings.” He reached for the phone, pushed the End button, and tossed it back on the table. “That cell phone is one thing I wouldn’t miss if I lived here.”
Jonas stood up. “See you for supper? Sarah Jane is makin’ meat loaf.”
“That sounds great.” Kade walked Jonas to the door.
Sadie hung up the phone in Martha and John’s barn. She didn’t leave a message. She wasn’t even sure what she would have said if Kade had answered. But she felt compelled to make the call, hoping that Kade would say something, anything, to cause her to return to her home, to a place in his arms, to the fantasy world she created of them sharing a life together.
In reality, if he had answered, she would have probably told him that she was happy in Texas, and that she was merely calling to check on Tyler.
But happiness was not the emotion that overflowed from Sadie’s heart, particularly after what Milo had told her, “Bishop Ebersol left a message, Sadie. Good news. Your farm has been sold.”
She fought back the tears building in the corner of her eyes, looked up to heaven, and begged God to give her the strength to stay on the path He has chosen for her.
Sadie knew she should be counting her blessings, but Milo’s words kept ringing in her head like gongs of forthcoming doom.
KADE'S RETURN TO HIS OLD LIFE LOOMED OVER HIM like a dark cloud, and in a mere two hours, he’d be home, back to a world filled with shrewd business deals, high-powered luncheons, and enough vanity to choke on. And beautiful women—lots of beautiful ladies interested in a place on Kade’s arm—all with the same selfish pursuits of furthering their own social status. Then, of course, there was Val.
The captain’s voice sounded through the plane, something about arriving in Los Angeles early, but Kade’s mind was elsewhere. He thought about Monica and how her life was cut tragically short. He reached over and stroked Tyler’s head while he slept, knowing that change was not easy for his son.
I wonder if
Penelope knows how to make tapioca pudding
.
The flight attendant stopped her cart in the aisle. “Cocktail, sir?”
Kade shook his head.
He constantly thought about Sadie and how much he missed her—the sound of her laughter, her loving ways with Tyler, and, of course, their hugs at the end of the evenings. And even the firm way that she kept Kade in line. He recalled the way he’d almost lost his cool about Val, but Sadie warned him with her eyes when unsuitable language threatened to spew from his mouth. And she’d always kept a safe distance from Kade, even though Kade often saw the longing in her expression to do otherwise. He smiled as he thought about the way she’d scolded him about his dismissive hand gestures, a habit Kade had just about kicked. Memories of her calmed him, but also tormented him. Sadie could never be his, and that badgered his heart unmercifully, testing his resolve to quiet his troubled spirit.
Kade rested his head against the back of his seat, closed his eyes, and pretended he was back with Sadie in the middle of the blizzard, back in the warmth of her company. There was no sex. No false promises. No pretending. No lies. Just Sadie being herself—honest and pure, loving and kind.
Now he was homeward bound and feeling more destitute than he’d ever felt, with each passing mile putting more distance between the place and the people he’d grown to love.
But knowing he’d go back for Jonas and Lizzie’s wedding gave him a tiny bit of comfort, and he wondered if Sadie would be back for the wedding, and if she’d have Milo with her.
Sadie kept hearing the words pounding in her head. “Your farm has been sold. We can travel to Lancaster County and collect your things soon.”
Milo hadn’t formally asked her to marry him. It was an assumption, and Sadie hadn’t done anything to dispel or confirm it. They spent time together, and Sadie had laughed and carried on as a young girl during courtship. But Kade and Tyler were always in the back of her mind. She knew it would be a sin to marry Milo when her heart belonged to another man. But now her farm was gone.
Sadie waited until Martha and John traveled to a neighbor’s house for supper, declining the invitation because of a terrible headache. She made her way to the barn and prayed silently that someone at Lillian’s house would hear the phone ringing in the barn. She’d never needed a friendly voice more than now. But when there was no answer, she dialed the number to Jonas and Sarah Jane’s house.
The phone rang six times, and Sadie was about to hang up when the ringing stopped. She heard a raspy voice say hello.
“Jonas, is that you?” she said. “Jonas?”
“Who be callin’, please?”
“Jonas, it’s Sadie!”
“Sadie, it’s
wunderbaar gut
to hear your voice. How are you, my child?”
And that was all it took. She yielded to compulsive sobs.
“Sadie?” His voice was comforting, compassionate. “Tell me your troubles, dear Sadie.”
“My farm is sold,” she babbled while wiping her eyes.
“
Ya
, it is. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Yes,” she lied softly. “I’ll be coming to collect my things soon.”
She heard a sigh on the other end of the line. “So, you will be staying to make a life with Milo in Texas?”
“
Ya
.” She bit her lip.
“And this makes Sadie cry?”
“
Ach
, I’m being silly.” She sniffled, dabbed at her eyes. “Milo is a wonderful man, and he’ll make a fine home for me here in Texas. I’ll be traveling back by bus in two days. I reckon I’m homesick, and it will be
gut
to see everyone, especially Lillian and you.”
“We all miss ya, Sadie. But we want you to be happy. A
gut
girl like you deserves to be happy.” He paused. “Are you happy, Sadie?”
“
Ya
,” she said as convincingly as she could. “Milo is wonderful. He’ll make a fine home for me here in Texas.”
“
Ya, ya
. You just said that.” Jonas paused again. “Are you
in lieb
with him, Sadie?”
She couldn’t lie to Jonas, but she couldn’t quite tell him the truth either. “He’s a fine man. It’s all happening so fast, I reckon.”
“Sadie . . .” She could hear Jonas inhale deeply on the end of the line. He took his time releasing the breath. “We can’t force God’s will or try to guess what His plan is for us. It is important that you not let your own wants and needs block out His voice. Listen to Him, Sadie.”
Sadie sighed. “I know you’re right, Jonas.” What a wonderful bishop Jonas would have been. So wise and kind. But Sadie knew Jonas lacked the harsh discipline to enforce the rules, as was expected by the bishop. His heart, though, was always in the right place. She was glad he answered the phone today.
Silence stretched the distance between them, and she waited for Jonas to speak. “I have news, Sadie.”
“About Kade and Tyler?” she asked.
“Uh, no. ’Tis ’bout me and Lizzie.”
“Oh.”
“Ain’t no need to sound so disappointed. My news might shed some light on Kade and Tyler as well. I’ve asked Lizzie to marry me.”
“
Ach
, Jonas! That’s so
gut
, so very
gut
. Lizzie is a fine woman, but . . .” How did this shed any light on Kade and Tyler?
“I know you’re coming home in a couple of days, but I’m sure hoping you’ll somehow be able to be at my wedding. It’ll be a few weeks from now. The twentieth of April is when I’ll take Lizzie as
mei fraa
, and we’d be mighty glad if you could be here. But I understand if that’s too much traveling too close together.”
“That is a lot of traveling. Texas is a long way from Lancaster County.” Her heart was breaking. “But I want so very much to be there, Jonas.”
“Kade and the boy will be here to see me and Lizzie wed.” Jonas tempted her with his tone.
“I’m surprised,” she said. “I mean, I received a letter from Lillian telling me that the two of you had become friends, but—”