I loved Haley more than football, and I would prove it to her. Teddy talked me out of calling to let her know before it was published, saying it would be better if she read it unaware. I agreed with him, but it was hard not to call her.
“Looks pretty good,” Teddy said after reading the most recent draft all the way through.
“Pretty good won’t work. I need something spectacular.”
“Needs more love,” Brian said.
Teddy and I both looked over at him.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You want to appeal to a raw human emotion like love. It’s too sterile right now. You give all the facts, but why is anyone going to care? On the other hand, if you profess your love publicly and give up football for Haley, people are going to sit up and take notice.”
I nodded.
“You know, Brian. You’re a smart dude.”
He smiled as Teddy patted him on the back. They made a cute couple.
“I have to get ready to go into the newsroom and put the paper to bed, but if you have it ready, email it to me.”
“Yeah, give me a few more minutes. I want to love it up some like Brian said.”
“Good idea.”
Teddy stood up. Brian did the same. I turned my attention back to the screen of the laptop. The words swirled and danced on the page in front of me. How the hell anyone sat down and typed up any amount of words that made sense when read together was beyond me.
Word by word, I went over the letter to the editor. I would likely go down in school history as a great football player who was an idiot and gave it all up for love, but in the heat of the moment, I pushed all doubts and fears aside.
Haley needed my help. I loved her. End of story.
Maybe I would lucky and Coach would still help or at least not throw me off the team. Would the students and faculty allow him to get rid of me?
Questions flew through my mind as I emailed Teddy a copy of the letter.
“Here it is, bro,” I wrote at the bottom. “Thanks for the help.”
I hit send then sat back in the kitchen chair.
Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?
Only time would tell.
THIRTY-SIX
James
The letter appeared in the campus newspaper the next day thanks to Teddy. It read as follows:
Dear Buffalo State Students,
Many of you know me from the football team. It pains me to say this, but I will be quitting soon. Why? Unwritten rules have put me in a terrible position. I’m being asked to choose between the two things I love most in life, football and a very special woman I met recently.
This wonderful woman means the world to me. Because of her, I’ve begun to understand love and that football may not be the most important thing in the world. I know, you’re probably surprised I would say such a thing, but it’s true.
My writing abilities are not good, but I want to publicly state that I was with Haley Harrison the other night. We were together from dusk until dawn, wrapped up in each other’s arms. She means the world to me, and I don’t care who knows anymore.
As I said, I will be quitting the team. This will affect our chances at winning the regional championship, but that doesn’t matter as much to me as my love for Haley. To Coach and everyone else I let down, I apologize, but this is the right decision.
Haley and I are in love, and that’s all that matters right now.
Yours if you will have me,
James King, Quarterback
I read it three times, hating the way it had come out. People would surely make fun of me. As I scrolled down the page, I saw the first comment. It was supportive. Over a dozen people had already commented, saying they backed me up and would protest if I got kicked off the team.
Is this really happening? Did I make the right decision?
As I sat in the Student Center food court, eating a bagel and reading the comments, my phone rang.
Fuck. It’s Coach. Should I answer?
I accepted the call and put the phone to my ear.
“Hey, Coach, about the letter…”
“Get your ass in my office. Now!”
He ended the call. I sighed, wondering if I should finish my bagel first or not. Compromising, I took it with me as I walked across campus toward the stadium.
* * *
As soon as I walked in, I knew it wasn’t going to be good.
“What the hell is your problem, son?” he asked.
“I’m sorry, Coach, but I love her.”
“Sorry? I thought you were serious about football and going pro.”
“I am, Coach, but…”
“No buts,” he interrupted. “Do you know how competitive it is these days? Not very many men make it all the way to the pros. You have a special talent, but you’re fucking it away!”
“I’m sorry, Coach,” I said, staring down at my feet.
“Quit fucking apologizing! I’ve been getting calls all day saying there will be protests and petitions and who knows what else if I don’t let you keep playing.”
I looked up.
“You’re going to let me play and stay in a relationship with her?”
“Of course not,” he said. “But I’m going to give you one more chance to make the right decision. Break it off with her until you both graduate. I don’t care what you do then, but I need you practicing twice as much as you are now. You don’t have time for puppy love.”
“It’s not puppy love, Coach. I love her.”
“You kids don’t know the meaning of the word.”
He glared at me in silence a moment, which made me more uncomfortable than his yelling.
“Are we on the same page?”
“Yes, Coach.”
“Good,” he said. “Go get suited up and on the field. We’re doing two scrimmage games today to prepare for the playoffs coming up.”
“But I’ve not agreed to breaking up with her. I can’t do that.”
His eyes narrowed as he stared at me.
“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”
“No, Coach. I’m serious.”
He sighed and put a hand on my shoulder.
“Look, son. You’re making a huge mistake. Take it from me. I was in the same position as you many years ago.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded.
“And I choose the girl. Look where I am now.”
“You’re a great coach.”
“I know, but I would have been a better pro player. I’m sure of it, but I’ll never know for sure because I made the wrong choice. I don’t want you to make a wrong choice too.”
He squeezed my shoulder then moved his hand away. I had never seen him get so personal before. The idea of him being with a woman had never entered my mind.
“I’m not saying break it off completely, but tell her you need to cool it off for a couple years. By that time, you’ll be in position to accept offers from some pro teams. She will be more than happy to wait for you.”
“It’s not like that, Coach. She doesn’t care about the money.”
He laughed and shook his head.
“You kids these days. Think you have it all figured out, don’t you?”
“I know I love her.”
“That’s well and good, but this is your one chance to do what thousands of other players in college right now can’t do … go pro. Do you want to throw that away, James?”
“No, Coach.”
“Exactly. The best way to do it is leave her alone. Don’t even talk to her again for now. By the time the semester is over, she’ll be dying to get back with you. At that point, you can explain your long term goals with her. Trust me, son. This is for the best.”
I pressed my lips together and nodded, trying to let his advice sink in.
“Now go get ready.”
“Yes, Coach.”
At practice, I pushed all other thoughts out of my mind and concentrated on football. On my way home later, they rushed back. Coach was right. The best way to break it off with her would be to end it without any further contact, like ripping off a bandage quickly.
When the semester finally ended, I would have more time to talk with her and explain my decision to focus on football. I only had one chance to make it big. If she truly loved me, she would understand. At least that was what I told myself.
THIRTY-SEVEN
Haley
I woke up with James on my mind immediately. We hadn’t spoken in a few days, not since I had told him it was over. Maybe he had wanted to break up too?
My phone rang as I stretched in bed. I grabbed it off my nightstand, hoping to see James’ face on the screen. It was an unknown number.
What the hell?
“Hello?”
“This is a collect call from the Buffalo Jail. Do you accept charges?”
“Yes,” I said then sighed.
“Haley?” Tabby asked.
“Yeah. What do you want?”
“Will you please come and bail me out? I’m so sorry about everything.”
“Are you insane? I don’t have the money to do that, but even if I did, why the hell would I do it after you told them I was with you that night?”
“Haley, I’m sorry. You were there…”
“Fuck you, Tabby!”
I ended the call and turned my phone off completely, knowing she would try to call again, whittling away at my resolve until I felt bad and helped her. She had to learn, and I had plenty of my own problems to deal with.
As I got dressed and ready for my day, James kept popping into my thoughts. I missed his body, but I also began to realize I missed his laugh and good vibes too. By the time I left the house, I was running behind, so I didn’t stop to read the campus paper like I usually did.
Walking through the Quad to my first class, a swarm of what looked like freshman rushed up to me, asking questions and shoving voice recorders and cameras in my face.
What the hell is going on?
I wondered as I kept walking, trying to brush them off.
“What do you think of the letter?” one asked.
“Any comments on the football program here at Buffalo State?” another woman asked.
“What are you talking about? Leave me alone. I’m late for class.”
“We just need a statement…”
“Leave her alone!” Teddy said, appearing out of nowhere.
The others scattered.
“Thanks,” I said. “You’re James’ roommate, right?”
He nodded.
“What were they going on about?”
“Damn freshman trying to get a story.”
“A story? What are you talking about?”
“You haven’t read the paper this morning?”
“No. I’m late for class.”
“Oh. You should read it.”
“Tell me while we walk,” I said, taking off toward the medical sciences building.
“He wrote a letter to the editor about you and him, professing his love.”
I stopped.
“What? You’re kidding, right?”
“No. He said it was the only way to prove your innocence.”
“I’ve not heard from him since the other night. Did he get kicked off the team?”
“No, not yet. He loves you, but his coach is all over him about this, and he told me he has to cool it off with you for a while, at least until the end of the semester.”
“It’s okay. Tell James I understand.”
“I will,” he said. “Can we talk later? Over a beer maybe?”
“Sure, call me or something,” I said as I dashed away, not wanting to be even more late.
“I don’t have your phone number,” he called out.
“I’ll meet you at Papa Jack’s at six!”
Maybe this new guy is better for me?
He wasn’t as built as James, but a lower maintenance man might be better for me. Less stress and craziness sounded nice.
I rushed to the lecture hall, but I still ended up being ten minutes late. The rest of the class all turned to look at me as the squeaky door opened.
A few of them pointed and talked to each other as I sat down in the back row and slunk down in my seat. The professor, Mrs. Jones, gave me a dirty look, but she didn’t call me out.
While she lectured, I tried to pay attention, but I wasn’t able to get James out of my mind. Halfway through the class, I spotted a newspaper someone had left behind.
Using my foot, I scooted it over then reached down to pick it up. As I read his letter on the sly, tears formed in my eyes. He did love me more than football.
I hoped he wouldn’t get in trouble for writing the letter. Why hadn’t he called me or sent an email or something?