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“Move out the way, kid!” Detective Gibula shouted. “Do you have a death wish?”

Josh ignored him. He ignored all the gasps and cries of his friends, Kevin’s painful whimpers, and even Rosa’s quiet sobs, though they were the hardest to bear. “Andy, you said you loved me. Did you mean that?”

She appeared honestly baffled. “Of course I meant it. Why do you think I did all this? I did it because I love you. But you don’t love me. . . .”

“But I do love you, Andy. Maybe not in the way you wanted, but I’ve always loved you. And I know you’re a good person deep down. This isn’t really what you want. The real Andy—the girl I’ve known all my life—she would never hurt anyone.”

“Your best friend.” Andrea shook her head sadly. “I guess that should satisfy me, but it doesn’t. You might love me as a friend, but you’re really in love with Rosa, aren’t you? A part of me still hoped she was just another bootie call, but it’s real this time.”

Josh thought about lying, but he knew Andrea would know if he did. She could always tell when he tried to keep things from her. “Yes, I love Rosa,” he admitted reluctantly. “Very much.”

Andrea cocked her head to one side, though she never lowered the gun. “Do you love her the way I love you? Would you kill for her?”

“No,” he said firmly. “But I would die for her without a second thought.”

Andrea was thoughtful for a moment, considering his words. “I really didn’t want to hurt anyone,” she told him, a single tear sliding down her cheek. “I only wanted to make you love me.”

“I know that,” Josh whispered. “And it’s okay. I forgive you.” He reached out his hand.  “Just give me the gun, Andy.  Please don’t hurt anyone else.”

“But I have one more bullet.” She moved her finger from the hammer to the trigger. “So someone has to die. I’m sorry, Josh, but I have to hurt you one last time.”

Josh knew she meant it. He had lost the gamble. Love or no love, Andrea was going to kill him. He waited for the bullet to tear through his flesh. He waited to feel the physical pain in his heart and wondered if it could possibly equal the emotional torment she had already inflicted on him. 

Detective Gibula had the hammer back on his own revolver, and his partner was ready to knock Josh to the ground. But it was already too late for anyone to stop Andrea from firing. There wasn’t enough time to stop her. Those last few seconds went by in terrible, almost never-ending slow motion.

“I love you, Josh,” Andrea whispered. “Always remember that I love you.”

The large black man barreled into him and Josh felt himself being thrown to the ground. He still felt the spray of blood whip across his face as Andrea put the gun to her own head and pulled the trigger. 

There weren’t many people at Andrea’s funeral—even fewer than Lily’s sparse services. Apparently a murderer received even less sympathy than a suicide. Her mother was weeping quietly while her father’s glazed eyes seemed to stare beyond the closed coffin.

Josh’s parents were there. His mother kept squeezing his hand. His father’s lips were set in a tight frown. The only classmates who had shown up were Rosa and Elena; they had come to support Josh. They each shed a few tears, hugged him, and told him everything would be all right. He nodded, even though he knew it wasn’t true. They only stayed for the church service, and then walked off together, their newfound friendship growing.

Kevin also made an appearance, though he didn’t speak to anyone. He moved awkwardly on his crutches and hid in the back row of the church, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze. Jim was still in the hospital in critical condition. Josh’s parents said they weren’t sure if he was going to make it. If he did, he would only be moved from the hospital to a prison cell for conspiracy to commit murder. He had just turned eighteen in September. There was no juvenile detention for him; he would be tried as an adult.

Through the whole service and on the ride to the cemetery, Josh replayed that awful day over and over in his mind. He could still feel the blood on his face. No matter how many times he showered in the last week, it wouldn’t wash away. The fact that he knew it was only his guilt that remained didn’t make it any easier to handle. It was going to be there forever, a constant reminder.

Josh remained quiet and aloof during the burial, still lost in his own thoughts. The day the case had been solved had seemed to go on forever. Josh was in a daze as he watched Andrea’s body being taken away. Afterward, their parents met them at the station while they gave their statements. Josh barely heard Detective Gibula’s awkward, insincere apologies. He hardly noticed his mother’s desperate hugs when she realized what he had gone through. All he could hear was that final gunshot ringing.  He still heard it and it almost drowned out the sound of his father’s voice.

“Josh? Son, the services are over. It’s time to leave.”

Josh blinked a few times and realized he was right. The cemetery was empty. Even Andrea’s parents were gone. Only Josh and his father were still standing beside the freshly dug plot. “Give me a minute, okay, Dad? I just. . . .” His voice cracked a little, and he tried to clear his throat so his father wouldn’t notice. “I just need a minute.”

His father looked reluctant to leave him at first, but eventually he relented. “We’ll be waiting in the car.” He turned to walk away, but then he stopped and put a hand on Josh’s shoulder. Josh looked up, surprised. “I want to tell you I’m sorry, Josh.”

“Yeah, Dad, I know you feel bad about Andrea.”

“That’s not what I mean. I doubted you, and it was wrong. You’re my son. You deserved better.”

“It’s okay, Dad.
I know how it looked.”

“No, it’s not okay. I’m your father. Even if everyone else doubted you, I should have known the truth. Your mother, she never thought. . . .” He paused, at a loss for words. He ran his fingers through his salt and pepper hair awkwardly. “It doesn’t matter what I thought. I want you to know that I will never make that same mistake again. You know, it’s not easy for me to . . . to show my feelings. But you mustn’t think that I don’t love just as much as your mother. I’ve only ever wanted what was best for you, to keep you safe. Jesus, Josh, when I think of what might have happened. . . .”

“Dad, please don’t.” Josh didn’t think he could handle it if his father lost his composure. “I’m fine.”

“Can you ever forgive me?”

“It’s already forgotten.” Josh gave him a weak, insincere smile. “Especially if it means I’m not grounded anymore.”

He gave his dad a brief hug and watched him disappear behind a patch of trees. He wished making amends with his father could make everything better, but it didn’t. He felt just as lost as ever, but there was no reason why his dad had to feel the same way.

Josh stood alone beside Andrea’s grave for a long time, staring at the elaborate casket that would soon be lowered into the cold ground. Josh felt cold himself, despite the warm sun that was beating against the back of his black suit. It was warm for the first day in November. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and yet he swore he felt drops of rain falling as he laid his flowers on Andrea’s coffin. He blinked and realized it was only the tears that had refused to come during the services. Now those tears flowed free as he looked around the cemetery. 

He was surrounded by loss. He stood beside the freshly dug ground of Andrea’s final resting place. A little further down, he could see Nadine’s flower covered plot. Lily’s grave was already sprouting new grass. Even from the distance, he saw Bryan was there, laying a bouquet of daises by Lily’s headstone. He had known going to Andrea’s funeral was a little more than Bryan could handle when his own grief was still so fresh. He was surprised to see him there at all. Yet when Bryan saw Josh, he made his way over to join him.

“You look like you could use a friend,” Bryan told him, and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I owe you one. You were there when I needed you.”

“I miss her already,” Josh told him as he wiped his damp eyes on his sleeve. “I know she did some awful things, but I can’t help it. I still love her.”

“I know it sucks. But it has to get better eventually. At least that’s what everyone keeps telling me.”

“She was my best friend and look at what I did to her.” Josh gestured to the upturned ground.

“I know you’re beating yourself up over this, but what Andrea did wasn’t your fault,” Bryan reminded him. “And listen, I know it probably doesn’t mean crap right now, and I never would have believed it a few weeks ago, but you really are a good friend, Josh. One of the best I’ve ever had.”

“Hearing you say that means more than you know,” Josh told him. “I don’t have too many friends left. But that’s okay. I know what’s important now, and it’s not a string of girlfriends and a bunch of jocks to party with. As long as I have you and Rosa, I know I’ll be all right. I just wish we didn’t have to lose so much before I figured that out.”
             

“It won’t be easy, but we will get through this. Together.”

“You know what?” Josh began to see a little hope on the horizon. “I think we will.”

Bryan laid a hand on his shoulder, and the two boys who had once been enemies walked from the cemetery side by side.

THE END

About the Author

L
AURA “LUNA” DELUCA
lives at the beautiful Jersey shore with her husband and three children. She has been writing stories for as long as she can remember. Old high school friends would tell you she was always scratching in her notebook instead of paying attention in class and the children she used to babysit for always loved to hear her scary stories at bedtime.  In addition to writing fiction, Laura is also the sole author of a popular review blog called New Age Mama.