Playing Dirty: Windy City Kink, Book 3 (30 page)

“Love you, Paige,” he gasped into the soft skin of her neck.

“I love you too, Raff.” Her arms wrapped around him, her mouth opened on his shoulder in a long kiss. “I love you too. So much.”

“I like being in control.”

Paige snorted. “No. Really?” She traced a finger through the hair on his chest, lying cuddled up next to him in his bed.

His big hand squeezed her hip. “Yeah. Shocker, I know. But when I’m in control, that doesn’t mean I’m more than you. The fact that I have money, and I can do things for you and give you things, doesn’t mean I’m more and you’re less.” He paused. “You’re everything. And without you…I’m nothing.”

She let his words sink into her, way down deep inside.

“None of what I have means anything without you, Paige.”

She gave a little nod, her cheek against his shoulder.

“I like to do the things you want. I like to give you what you need. It makes me feel real. You trusting me to take care of you, to take you to your limits and bring you back down safely…that’s everything to me. That’s why you were made for me, baby. And make no mistake—it takes strength to let go of everything, to turn it all over to me. It takes guts and strength. I saw that in you from the minute we met.”

“How? How could you see that?”

He paused to think. “You know what it was? I saw the elastic band on your wrist.”

She jerked away from him, but he grabbed her tighter and held her against him.

“I knew someone else who did that,” he said quietly. “Someone who liked pain. The pain calmed her. She used that as a way to control her emotions, to literally snap her out of whatever she was feeling that she didn’t want to feel.”

Paige’s body quivered. Now
this
was being vulnerable. She’d been doing that since she’d seen a counselor after she’d left Del. Yes, it was a tool. Yes, she liked the snap of pain. She liked how it helped clear her mind and focus. How it could help her get past feelings she was having that she didn’t want. But it wasn’t something she shared with people.

Yet he’d picked up on it and understood it. Something unbearably sweet swelled up inside her.

“But it wasn’t just that,” Raff continued gruffly. “There was an energy between us. I felt it in my gut. And when we were in San Diego and you turned yourself over to me, I knew it with every cell in my body. The fact that you trusted me when you were so vulnerable made me feel incredible. When you let me give so much to you, I feel generous and giving and caring and…well, you make me feel like a better man.” He kissed her forehead. “I want to be a better man. Dutch made me feel that way. And so do you.”

Her heart squeezed. “Oh, Raff.” The fact that she could give that to him, just by accepting from him the things she wanted and needed, seemed so…perfect. “It’s like we’re reflecting things back at each other. I want what you can give me. I’m learning now it’s not weak to want to turn myself over to you. Giving me what I want makes you feel good. Making you feel good makes me feel good. Does that even make any sense?”

He chuckled. “It makes perfect sense. It’s such a gift, Paige—your trust. I know it’s been hard for you, and I promise you I will never take it for granted or abuse it. Never.”

“Knowing I’m in your care and that you’ll do anything for me makes me feel powerful. Free. I thought it was weak to want those things. I wanted that before and ended up in trouble. I was determined to be strong.”

“You are strong.”

“I’m learning that. See? We make each other better.”

He smiled. “Fuckin’ right.”

“Although you do swear a lot.”

“Sweet zombie Jesus. You’re gonna complain about my swearing?”

She dissolved into giggles. “Don’t ever say that again. It just sounds wrong coming from you.”

His arms tightened around her. “I’ll swear however I want.”

She still laughed. “Okay. Fine. You sound better saying the F-word.”

“Love you, Paige.”

“I love you too, Raff.”

Epilogue

Paige made her way through the people crowding Bisou Style, carrying her half-empty champagne flute. Guests were starting to leave, thankfully, because the grand-opening party had already gone an hour longer than they’d planned, and her feet in four-inch heels were burning.

All the food was gone and they were down to their last bottle of champagne, although she did have one more tucked away in the small fridge in the back, which she planned to share with her friends once everyone else had left.

Amanda put out a hand to stop her. “We’re off now,” she said. Her husband stood behind her, holding their light jackets. “Awesome party, Paige. Thanks for inviting us, and congratulations again.”

They moved together for a hug. She’d loved working with Amanda on the design of the shop. “Thank you, and thank you again for everything you did to make this place so gorgeous.”

Amanda grinned. “You thanked me enough by handing out business cards to everyone who complimented it. I’ve already got a couple of appointments lined up with prospective clients.”

“Fantastic!”

Dutch and Marie said goodnight next, also with hugs. Dutch had been a good sport about attending this event in an environment that was clearly out of his comfort zone, and Paige loved him for that. “Thank you for coming,” she whispered as she squeezed his neck in a hug.

“Wouldn’t miss it, honey.”

Soon, the only people left in the shop were Trenise, Kevin and Emma, Jack and Sasha, Mallory and Joe, and Raff and Paige. The guys had all attended reluctantly, dragged there by their girlfriends, rolling their eyes at a party in a girly shop full of women’s clothing and accessories. But they’d been having fun too, from what Paige had seen, talking and laughing among themselves and with the husbands of some of the clients who’d attended, and attracting the attention of many of the female guests.

“Do you need me for anything else tonight?” Trenise asked.

“No, honey. You go on home.”

“Okay, thanks. It all turned out great.”

“It did! Thank you for all your help.”

Trenise hesitated then looked at Raff. “I need to say thank you to you too. For the help you’ve given Calvin.”

Raff smiled at her and shrugged. “It’s what I do. How are things going?”

“Good. He’s really determined to stay away from his posse. He got a job. At Pizza Hut.” She gave a lopsided smile. “It’s a start, right? And he’s doing better in school. At least he’s going.”

“That’s great. Glad to hear it. I know he still comes to the rec center too, although I haven’t run into him there for a while. Dutch keeps me posted.”

Trenise nodded. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you did that. Thank you again.”

Raff nodded, looking a little uncomfortable.

Paige had come to know him even better in the last month and had learned that what Dutch had said was true. Raff liked to give back and help others the way he’d been helped, but he didn’t expect anything in return—in fact, he was uncomfortable with attention or praise for doing that.

She loved him so much.

Paige followed Trenise to the door, closing and locking it behind her. She rounded the wall that separated the foyer from the shop to see Joe pouring the last few drops of champagne into Mallory’s glass, frowning.

“I have another bottle,” Paige announced. She kicked off her heels and padded past him on bare feet to the rooms at the back. She returned with the last bottle, icy cold in her hands. “Here. This is just for us. One last glass to celebrate.”

Raff held out his hands and smiled. She handed him the bottle, and he opened it with an expert pop of the cork then poured it into their glasses. There was just enough for all.

“To Paige,” Mallory said, lifting her glass. “Congratulations again. What a great party you threw tonight, and what a success you’ve made of your business!”

Paige smiled at all her friends as they lifted their glasses too and gently clinked them together, echoing Mallory’s congratulations. She recalled her friends’ delight when they’d first laid eyes on her new place, impressed with how gorgeous it was. Her chest expanded as a feeling of pride swelled inside her.

She’d done it.

Yes, she’d had some help. When Raff had tried to pay for the entire party, they’d had some words. While Raff was insisting on paying for everything and she was telling him no way in hell, for some reason she remembered Delmer telling her what a stupid idea her plan to open an online-styling business was and that it would never work. He’d belittled her and put down her ideas. He’d discouraged her from ever trying, until she’d left him and used that opportunity as a chance to start over and pursue her dream.

Raff, on the other hand, was doing everything he could to make her dream come true. Maybe he went overboard sometimes, but she now knew that his actions were motivated by generosity and love. The difference between Delmer’s undermining her goals and Raff’s unconditional support had struck her with the force of a hammer blow. She’d gone silent, staring at Raff, then thrown herself into his arms and sobbed out how much she loved him. Taken aback and mystified, he’d wrapped her up in his strong embrace and held her while she cried. Then she’d agreed to let him buy the champagne.

She’d come to realize that having his help and support made her an incredibly lucky woman. Not a weak woman. A woman who was strong, independent and…loved.

“Hey, Kev, see anything you want to take home?”

The question came from Joe, and after a beat of wide-eyed silence, everyone burst out laughing.

Kevin had “come out” to his friends. It had probably been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. Paige so admired him for that. After Emma had decided he was worth hanging on to, no matter his idiosyncrasies, he’d gotten the confidence to tell Joe and Beamer. Of course, Mallory now knew as well.

Kevin gave a crooked smile and shook his head. “Fuck off, asshole,” he muttered, flipping Joe the bird.

She couldn’t lie and say it had been easy for Joe and Beamer to accept. They’d struggled with it. Finally Joe had said, “I don’t wanna ever see you in girls’ clothes, okay? Do whatever you want; I just don’t know if I can handle seeing it.”

And Kevin was good with that. He’d been so much happier lately, lighthearted and laughing, and had completely given himself over to Emma. Paige watched Emma slide her arms around Kevin’s waist, leaning into him and gazing up at him with such love and adoration in her eyes, and he reflected that back at her as he smiled down at her. It made Paige’s heart squeeze to see them together and so happy. In fact, Emma was moving in with them next month.

Which left Paige feeling a little
de trop
. Sure, she had her own room, but they probably wanted to start their lives together without a third person around. Paige loved Emma, but that was a little weird for her, moving in with her boyfriend and having another woman around. But now that Paige’s problem of Delmer had been solved, she could probably go back to living in an apartment on her own without having to worry about him stalking her again.

“Okay, we gotta go,” Joe said, setting down his empty glass. “My dad’s flight arrives early tomorrow.”

His pleasure at saying that was evident. His dad had been visiting Chicago a lot, and Joe and Mallory had gone back to California to visit him too, and of course to see Mallory’s parents in Anaheim. Not only had Joe’s dad been spending time with him, he’d been spending time with Joe’s mom…and they were all—okay, the girls were, anyway—excitedly conjecturing about his mom and dad renewing the romance they’d had so many years ago. The guys all just rolled their eyes at the girls.

It had been hard for Joe, dealing with the breakup of his parents’ marriage, even though there’d been a lot of tension in the family for a long time. It had also caused problems between him and his two brothers, who actually were only half brothers. At first they’d blamed him for their parents splitting up. But that was just stupid and eventually they’d come to realize that. Joe was working on rebuilding those relationships, as well as the one with his biological father.

The others all agreed it was time to head home, and soon it was just Paige and Raff, standing in her little shop that was so gorgeous and full of beautiful clothes destined to help busy women find their personal style. Pharrell Williams appropriately was singing “Happy” over her speakers.

Raff pulled her up against him, and with his arms loosely around her lower back he smiled down at her. “Congratulations,” he said softly. “You did great tonight, babe.”

His praise filled her with warmth and light. “Thank you.”

“Did I tell you how gorgeous you look?”

“Hmm…I think you did, yes.” She gave him a flirty smile.

“Love that dress.” His hands slid down to her ass and gripped it. “Tight black dress. Fuck-me heels. Your legs are fuckin’ amazing and so is your ass.”

Her inner muscles squeezed and a little shiver ran down her spine. “Thank you.”

“Can’t wait to get you out of this dress. But you can keep the heels on while I fuck you.”

Her pussy squeezed even more and heat washed down through her. “If you insist.”

He grinned. “I do.” Then his smile faded and something strange happened. Very strange. Raff’s eyes got shifty and he looked…hesitant. “Paige. I need to ask you something.”

Her eyes widened but she held his gaze and nodded. “What is it?”

He swallowed. Then he took one hand off her butt and shoved it into the front pocket of his black dress pants. He pulled something out and she gaped as he went down onto one knee in front of her.

Her first thought was that something was wrong, he was injured or his leg had given out. She opened her mouth to ask if he was okay, when he held up something that flashed in the LED lights above them.

“Paige,” he said again hoarsely, gripping one of her hands. “Will you marry me?”

Her jaw went slack and she was sure she looked like a trout, her mouth opening and closing, eyes bugging out. She couldn’t even get any words out. Her mind spun and everything around her turned to a blur.

Marry him? Seriously? Sweet zombie Jesus.

She looked at the ring he held in his hand, the ginormous diamond almost blinding her. She looked back at him. Once again she started to speak. She started to say the words that were spinning through her mind.
Marry you? Are you crazy? We’ve only known each other a few months! How can we get married?

But she clamped her mouth shut on those words, because even though they were true, saying them was going to make him think she didn’t want to marry him.

And she did.

And so she whispered the answer that came from her heart. “Yes.”

His eyes squeezed shut, his mouth pinched together, and he took a long breath in then let it out. He opened his eyes, lifted her left hand and slid the ring onto it. Then he kissed her fingers, again closing his eyes and holding her hand to his mouth for a long moment.

Tears prickled the corners of her eyes and emotion rose up inside her. “Get up,” she begged hoarsely.

He looked up at her and his lips quirked.

“I need to kiss you.”

He surged up, grabbed her and planted a hot, hard kiss on her, long and lush. “I love you, Paige,” he murmured long moments later. “This is why you had to be legally divorced. Because I want you to be mine. I want you mine in every way there is.”

“I
am
yours in every way there is.”

His lips firmed and his chin jerked up. “Want it on paper. Legal.”

Her heart swelled. “Okay.”

“And I want you to move in with me.”

She blinked. “Really?”

“Fuck yeah. You practically live there anyway. And with Emma moving in with Kevin, it’s the perfect time for you to move in with me.”

She smiled. “Yeah. I feel like I’m going to be in their way.” And it was true that she and Raff spent almost every night together anyway, mostly at his place. He wasn’t as overprotective as he’d been, but he still looked out for her. She lifted her hand behind his back to study the ring he’d put there. Holy shitballs. It was simple, just one diamond—one huge mothereffing diamond on a yellow-gold band. It fit perfectly. She loved it. She sniffled.

“You okay, babe?”

“Yes. I love the ring. And I love you.”

“You okay living in my condo? We could buy a house if you want. Move out—”

“I’m fine there,” she said. “But we should have a discussion about children.”

“Uh…” His eyes flickered.

She grinned and slid a hand into his hair. “I want at least four kids and I want to start right away.”

“Uh…” His expression grew more panicked.

“Kidding.” She smooched his mouth. “But I do want kids. One day. I hope you do too.”

He groaned and squeezed her. “Yeah, babe, I do. Want you to myself for a while, though.”

“That’s okay. I want you to myself too. Oh, Raff. I can’t believe we found each other.”

“Play with fire, babe,” he murmured, “you’re gonna get caught.”

“Um. I think that’s a mixed metaphor.”

“Whatever.”

And he covered her mouth with his in another long, delicious, hot kiss of ownership, devotion and love.