Playing Fate (Endgame Series Book 1) (10 page)

“It’s a bit fancy for little ole’ me.” I bat my eyelashes. “Outback would have been fine.”

He shakes his head, “Come on, Saylor. We have a reservation, and I’m hungry.” I roll my eyes and allow his hand at my back to lead me into the high-rolling steakhouse. Once we’re seated, he jump-starts the conversation. “I know your major is marketing but why?”

“Not a lot of risk. You sell someone else’s product. They succeed, you succeed. They fail, you find another product.”

“Is that what you’ve always dreamed of doing?”

“I didn’t plan a dream career or decide a major for any other reason than being able to take care of myself.”

“That’s sad.”

“It’s realistic. Why didn’t you go into the majors? Your parents would have helped with Julie.”

“True, but I’d more than likely have been picked up by a minor or farm team and had to work my way up. I played like shit last year, and you don’t normally just go to the majors. You work up.” He sips his water. “I didn’t want my parents raising Julie. This is their time to enjoy. My dad can retire at any time, and I want them to travel. They were pretty disappointed in the circumstances, but they’re proud of the decisions I’ve made.”

“But you didn’t give up baseball all together?”

“No, but it doesn’t mean the same to me. I love it, but I hate leaving Julie with the sitter or my parents. I don’t think I could give it up, and that scares me. I’m supposed to be selfless. Parent first.”

“You are, Deacon. To be a good parent you have to have part of yourself intact. I love that you put her first, think of her life, but if you aren’t happy she’ll sense that as she gets older. Believe me, that hurts more than missing you for a few hours.”

“Experience?”

“Maybe. That subject’s off-limits.” I feel myself closing down.

“Soon nothing will be off-limits. Your dreams will be mine. Your goals—I’ll help you achieve them. You’ll see.”

I want to run.

Outside.

Home.

To his arms.

All conflicting. None seem like the right choice.

I watch every emotion shut off. It didn’t come gradually; it was like slamming a door, ending all progression we’d made. I don’t regret it. I’ll tell her every day. I’ll break through. I don’t know what it is—just a feeling of completeness I get when she’s near. I meant what I said in regards to giving up baseball. If she was by my side, I wouldn’t dream of giving it up. After three years, I’d pack her and Julie up and take them with me. Whichever team chose me to play, I know I’d be able to make a home with her. She’s the reason I think that way.

She admitted she has daddy issues, now I need to find the root of her problem. Her reaching back to stroke Julie’s head like it was second nature caused a visceral reaction in me. My heart sped up, and I wanted to haul her out of the car and take her right there in my parents’ driveway. The intense need to possess her, own her, fucking stake my claim. She has me messed up and out of control. I don’t know which way is up or down, if I’m coming or going. Her defiance makes me want to fuck it out of her yet revel in the spunk. I swipe my hand down my face and exhale my frustrations.

She fights everything.

The connection we share.

The heat between us.

The way we work after such a short time.

I’m not asking her to move in or marry me. I’m asking for a chance. She can’t give me that if she keeps closing down. I’ve opened up the most important part of my life to her . . .

“I wanted to apologize for last night.” I don’t regret a single moment of it, but I hate that I may have taken advantage of her. I didn’t slow down long enough to hear what Alec had done to her, and if Mason and Caden hadn’t calmed me down and gotten the information I needed, I may have been eating dinner in a prison. Our steaks arrive, and her eyes widen as she licks her lips.

“I didn’t order this.”

“I did. You said you like steak . . . this is the best steak you’ll ever have.” Her lips draw tight, and I feel the frustration coming off her in waves. “What did I do this time?” My frustration level is mirroring hers.

I watch her eyes close, see her chest rise as she inhales. I stop myself from reaching across the table and caressing her face. As much as she confuses me, the need to comfort her is greater. Her eyes open, and the emerald color with spots of sunshine staring back at me beckon to me. They are clear, she’s opening her pain up to me, and I don’t know what’s causing it, but I want to end it. “I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is new to me.”

“Someone being nice.” I smile at her.

“No. I don’t know. I’m not used to friends. The only one I had was so long ago.”

“Saylor, you’ve got lots of friends. They haven’t known you a lifetime, but from the moment you met them . . . they were all your friends. Mason and Caden protect you and watch out for you like Lee Lee and Avery. Lee Lee is thawing her ice queen act, and Avery loves you.”

“And you?”

“I’m not being friend-zoned. We’re definitely not friends. I’ll be your friend after.”

“After what?”

“I’ll let you know when it happens.” I wink at her and pick up my fork to start eating, hoping she’ll follow suit.

I regret that wish when her lips close over her fork, and the moan leaves her mouth. I squirm in my seat and reach down to adjust myself. I’d give anything to be that fork. Those thoughts aren’t helping my dick situation. Puppies . . . vomit . . . baseball stats—nope that one gets me hard as well. I resign myself to an uncomfortable night. At least I’ve got her across from me. That is a prize in its own right.

“We’ve had enough serious for the night. Let’s finish the game from Bonefish. Just you and me.”

“Is this what you call the ‘getting to know you phase’?”

“Stop overthinking. Shoe size?” She laughs.

“Random. Five and a half.”

“You’re so damn tiny.”

“You didn’t answer.”

“Seventeen.” She chokes on her food.

“You’re kidding.”

“Did it feel like I was kidding last night?” I hold her eyes and see her cheeks redden. Now she’s the one squirming in her seat, and I’m sitting back gloating.

Dinner passes with relative ease—each of us railroading one another with questions. I hate to end it, but I need to get Julie and get home. “Ready?” She pushes back from the table and stands.

“Yep.” The silence isn’t uncomfortable, both of us mulling over the information garnered tonight.

“You know you have to go in with me to get Julie. Otherwise my mom will come and drag you in herself.”

Her look is priceless. She’s fidgeting in her seat, her color has paled, and her eyes are bulging. “Is that necessary? You could drop me off at the end of the street and tell them you took me home.” I laugh.

“You want me to lie to my parents. Shocking.”

Her eyes narrow. “Like you’ve never lied to them.”

“Actually, no I haven’t. I have no reason to. You’ll understand when you meet them.”

“That can’t be normal.” This girl kills me.

“You lie to your mom a lot?”

“No. If I don’t want to talk, I clam up. But it’s different. You’re a guy…a player. A baller. Deacon, I’ve slept with one other person in my life. My weekends were spent babysitting or helping my mom with a side job for extra money. I told you I’m not this girl.” She waves her hands encircling the restaurant.

“I think you sell yourself short. I told you this was a chance to find who you are—I want to be a part of that journey.”

“I still don’t want to sit down with your parents.”

“What are you worried about?”

“I don’t come from money. I’m at school on a scholarship. Sure, my mom married well this time, but the money isn’t mine.”

“Saylor,” I shake my head. “You have so much to learn. Yes, I grew up with money. I have a trust fund from my grandfather, and I don’t have to work—ever. That’s not me. I was raised that hard work is the only way to get ahead. Yes, my parents pay for my schooling and expenses while I’m in school because that is their choice. My dad didn’t come from money. He is ex-Air Force and now an anesthesiologist. My mom was born with a silver spoon but still had to work every summer unless she was involved in activities. We don’t look down on anyone—money or not. That isn’t a priority for us.”

I see her sigh. “I just keep making horrible assumptions.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Sorry.”

“Forgiven. We’re here. Come on and get it over with.”

“Back so soon?” My mom frowns as we walk in.

“Woman, you’re gonna give me a complex. Stop pretending you don’t love me.”

“Deacon, quit being a drama king. You’ll understand when you’re a grandparent.”

I freeze. “Quit that crazy talk. My princess won’t ever leave me.”

My parents both start laughing with Saylor joining in. “Maybe you should set an example for her,” she whispers to me. As if.

“Hey, Saylor. Come meet my husband, Josh. Our spawn seems to have forgotten his manners. Warning, he
always
makes it about him.” She smirks at me as she is pulling Saylor farther into the house. “I think it’s a trait he picked up from his father.”

“Don’t fill her head with lies. All his bad traits are from your side of the family, Sara.” My dad joins them and hugs Saylor as she tries to withdraw.

“Good thing for Mom, I don’t have any bad traits.” They both roll their eyes. “How was she?”

“Perfect as usual.” My dad grins and looks to the bassinet she’s asleep in.

“I don’t know why you had to get a sitter. I told you I’d keep her.”

I sigh. “I know. The drive back and forth is too much. Besides, we need a routine. It’s not like I hired a hot, young, co-ed to keep my daughter. I doubt my Sunday school teacher counts as a misfit. After all, you trusted me in her care.”

“That’s where we went wrong.” My mom smiles at my dad like she just found the seventh wonder of the world.

“You are hilarious.” I kiss her cheek as I pick up my daughter. She snuggles into my neck, and I sigh in contentment. I meet Saylor’s eyes, and she’s pulled back but still mesmerized with our dynamic.

“Can I come get her one day a week for a few hours?” I hate my mom thinks I’m punishing her.

“Yes. Anytime you want. Can you keep her overnight next weekend?”

“Yes. How about all weekend?”

“How about no. Just Saturday night.”

“You’re just mean,” she huffs at me. “Don’t come get her until Sunday afternoon. At least give me some time with her.”

“Because I keep her held hostage all the time. You see her as much as I do.”

“Lies.” She sticks her tongue at me.

“I’m sorry. You seem like such a sweet girl. Normal. Not like the ones he usually brings home. I don’t want to scare you off.” My dad is teasing Saylor, but I don’t want her to think I bring girls home often. Besides my friends and Adriane, nobody else has been important enough to meet my parents.

“Dad,” I warn.

“Lighten up. He’s so sensitive,” he says to Saylor. “He doesn’t bring girls home. If it weren’t for Julie, we’d think he was gay. Which is okay, we’d love him the same. But I think he’s lacking in other departments so he can’t keep a girl.”