Playing for the Other Team (17 page)

“Tell me, Bryson,” Jasper coaxed softly. “Are you hot right now?”

“Uh-huh,” I forced out.

“You should probably take them off, then. Otherwise you won’t be able to sleep.”

“Okay.” I made a valiant attempt at undressing. My mental state of mind didn’t lend itself to the idea, though, and halfway through my kicking off the pajama bottoms, they tangled around my legs. I continued to fight with them for a moment before giving up and lying back. My cock was pointing straight at the ceiling. I was so hard I thought I might die, but I didn’t touch myself. Not yet.

“Did you take them off?”

“Yes.” Close enough, anyway.

“Good.” Jasper was silent for a moment before he added, “I’m still wearing my boxer-briefs, but…they’re getting to be a little tight. I might have to take them off too. It’s
so
uncomfortable.”

“Uh-huh,” I said intelligently and pictured him in his bed like that, stretched out and naked, all smooth golden skin.

Oh God, oh God, oh God.

It
hurt
, the way I throbbed at the mere thought of him. I whimpered a little as I finally wrapped my fingers around my dick. It was hot to the touch.

“I heard that,” Jasper half moaned. “Mmm, are you doing what I think you’re doing?”

“M-maybe,” was all my overtaxed brain could come up with.

“Only maybe? I’ll have to up my game, then.”

“That might kill me,” I whispered as I slowly started stroking myself. It felt so good, so amazing, better than anything ever. With nothing but Jasper’s voice as my beacon, I had reached a state of arousal that was completely new territory to me. I
ached.

Jasper made a throaty sound that tipped me off as to what he was doing. For a little while, I heard nothing but his accelerated breathing, and there was nothing I’d rather have listened to as I moved my hand up and down in a slow, hypnotizing rhythm. I didn’t want this to be over fast. I wanted to enjoy every breathless second of it.

“I…” Jasper gasped. “I can’t help but wish it was you touching me right now.”

“I’d like to be,” I told him honestly. The mere idea of making him feel this good, maybe even while he took care of me in return, was enough to make my head spin and my hips buck up.

“I’m imagining that this is your hand around me. And—”

There was a knock on the door. I jumped so hard that I nearly fell out of bed, cursed when I banged my elbow on the corner of the headboard, and pressed my palm to my chest in an effort to calm my rapidly beating heart. It was a freaking miracle I didn’t drop the phone.

“Bry?” Jasper asked, sounding confused.

You have got to be kidding me.

The knock repeated. I gritted my teeth as not to groan in abject frustration.

“Oh, crap. I’m really sorry. Hold on,” I said, wrapped my entire blanket around myself to camouflage my now flagging arousal, and padded to the door. It was Brina.

“You got a moment?” she asked, chewing her lip.

I could have said no, but the tension had fizzed out anyway, and I couldn’t have recaptured the mood, so I gave her an unenthusiastic nod and said into the phone, “I’m sorry. My sister’s here.”

“It’s okay.” After a moment of silence, during which I wondered if it really was okay, Jasper added, “We’ll have plenty of phone calls to take advantage of.”

I mouthed a kiss into the receiver, turning to Brina only after I’d hung up.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Did I, uh, interrupt something?” Brina appeared to have gotten a general idea of what Jasper and I had been doing. She was bright scarlet.

“No,” I lied blatantly.

“Um.” She chewed her lip harder. “I just had a talk with Mom, and she mentioned…mentioned something that happened before we had dinner with the Reyeses. She got an anonymous phone call. And she didn’t want to tell you, but after that thing with the pictures I saw, I think you need to know. Someone threatened you.”

“Christopher?” I guessed.

“Maybe. I don’t know.” She gave me a worried look. “Are you and Jasper gonna be okay with all this crap going on? I like him, Bry. I think you guys are great together, but you’re both under so much pressure right now. It worries me.”

It didn’t worry me as much as it annoyed the hell out of me. Jasper and I didn’t have much time left together, and I wanted to enjoy that time, not have to deal with all this drama.

“Son of a bitch,” I said.

Brina only snorted at my outburst. She seemed to understand perfectly well. “Well, remember,” she said, “the prefinals bash is tomorrow. You guys can blow off some steam there.”

Right. The yearly
hey-we-should-be-studying-but-screw-it
party. I’d been looking forward to it. This one was not an alumni-prescribed tradition, but a recent one. Needless to say, they didn’t approve.

“Yeah, we could use a bit of fun,” I agreed and threw myself onto my bed. “Especially Jasper.”

* * * *

“I’m not going,” Jasper said on the phone the next day. “No way.”

“But,” I tried to argue, which didn’t work because he wouldn’t even let me talk.

“Bry, everyone thinks I’m a slut with an STD. Do you really think I want to be around people right now?”

“Who cares what people think?”

“I care! I care if everyone points and laughs and gossips while I’m standing right there trying to enjoy myself. It’s not gonna happen.”

“Not even if I’m with you every step of the way?”

He sighed. “Sunshine, I appreciate you trying, but please, not this. Go by yourself. Have fun. Please. I want you to.”

I chewed my lip. I didn’t like that he was, in essence, just giving up. I wanted him to fight this unfair treatment he’d been given, not take it lying down.

“What about graduation?” I asked. “You’re still going to walk across the stage, aren’t you?”

“If I do, it’s only because my parents want to see me do it.” Jasper sniffed. “To be honest, I don’t really care. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone, you know? There’ll be a new beginning once I’m off to college. I can’t wait to leave this all behind me.”

I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. “Well, it’s nice to know where I stand,” I said.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said quietly. “You know that.”

“I don’t know anything. All I’ve been hearing from you is how you just want to get away from everything. And you damn well know that includes me, and you never make it a point to acknowledge that.”

“Well, I’m sorry if I don’t sound broken up enough about it! Damn it, Bry, we’re both aware it’s going to happen. What’s the point in bringing it up? It’s going to be over soon; we both know that.”

The sudden lump in my throat felt like it was the size of a baseball. “I can’t believe you just said that,” I forced out.

He was quiet for a moment. I was pretty sure he’d heard the pain in my voice. “It’s the truth,” he said then.

“It’s bullshit.”

“I told you the time we have together is limited. You know we have an expiration date. You knew that all along, and I don’t like being forced—”

I disconnected the call and flung the phone into the opposite corner of the room before I said something I would regret for sure. I couldn’t grasp how Jasper could be so callous about the future and about us.

Damn it
. How the hell had that just gone from
Hey, let’s go to a party
to this mess? I had things to be worried about too—namely the fact that my being gay was still news, and I knew damn well people were going to talk about me at this party. As opposed to Jasper, I didn’t mind facing it.

Determinedly, I threw open my closet and grabbed
I play for the other team.

Looked like I was going out proud and solo, then.

Chapter Fourteen

What?

I had been at the party for not even ten minutes when I realized just how goddamn annoying it was to be stared at. That, plus the deafening music, had caused me to flee into the backyard, where I was now leaning against the wall, sipping my cup of punch and wondering why the hell I was even here.

“Nice shirt,” someone said.

I turned my head and nodded at Nova. She was holding a plastic cup as well and wearing a skirt that looked more like a belt.

“Nice legs,” I responded with a weak smile.

She beamed at me and got comfortable next to me. “Where’s your boyfriend?” she wanted to know.

“He’s busy being stupid.”

She arched one sharp blonde eyebrow. I only shrugged in response. I really didn’t feel like rehashing the conversation Jasper and I had had, with Nova or with anyone else.

“Okay, call me pessimistic, but you don’t look like you’re having any fun,” she pointed out. “So I’m guessing something happened between you two that you feel shitty about.”

“Are you trying to be my shrink?”

“No,” she said. “Friend, maybe. If we are friends.”

I thought about it. Nova was…interesting, to put it politely. I was a little frightened by her sexual aggression, but I liked that she didn’t make any excuses for it and didn’t seem to care what anyone thought of her for it. And ever since I had firmly established myself as being on team rainbow, she had dialed it back around me. Besides, most guys in our grade were far worse, and nobody gave them any crap for it.

“Sure, we’re friends,” I said.

“Great. Then you can’t be mad at me for asking what you two argued about.”

“Nothing,” I said, and she snorted. “Just…he didn’t want to come here with me. He was too afraid people would talk about him, and then he said something about being glad he would be off to college soon, even though we won’t see each other anymore once that happens.”

“Wait,” Nova said. “So you’re mad at him because he made one statement about finally seeing the end of this high school bullshit and he didn’t make a big deal of excluding you from it?”

“Pretty much.”

“Even though it’s obvious to anyone who looks at you two that you’re both going to have a terrible time with being separated? I mean, why does that even need saying?”

“Because,” I said, annoyed, “sometimes I don’t even know if he feels about me the same way I feel about him.”

“You’re such an idiot,” Nova informed me. “I mean,
duh
, Bry.”

“Hey!”

“Well, think about it. All the crap he’s taken lately, the way he’s been opening himself up despite the fact that he’s gonna get his heart broken, that’s kind of a big deal, you know.”

“How would you know?” I asked and then realized just how far I’d put my foot in my mouth when Nova gave me an icy stare “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“You’re in rare form today, huh?” she asked. “No wonder Jasper didn’t want to deal with your ass.”

“I’m sorry! I really am.”

“Fine,” she said. “Now call him.”

“What?”

“You owe me one for that. So stop being a jerk, call your boyfriend, and say you’re sorry for being such an enormous tool.”

“I wasn’t! I just want him to acknowledge me when he says stuff like that.”

“In other words, when he talks about all the stuff he’s dealing with, you want it to be all about
you
instead of him.”

I was quiet for a long moment as I let that sink in. “Okay, well,” I said eventually. “Maybe…maybe I’m a bit of a tool.”

Nova chuckled a little. “Give the man a cookie. Now
call
, Bryson.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I dug in my pocket for my phone.

Jasper picked up after the first ring. “Hey,” he said. He sounded sad, and I hated myself for being an ass to him.

“I’m sorry, okay?” I started out. “I’m sorry for being a tool.”

“It’s fine,” he said quickly and then sighed. “You weren’t being a tool, Bry. I just…everything sucks right now. I want to stay beneath this blanket and never come out again. I know you really want me at the party, but facing people is honestly the last thing I want to do right now.” He sighed again, deeply. “I don’t even know why you put up with me.”

“Because you’re awesome,” I said. His self-deprecating snort told me he didn’t believe a word of that. “You want me to come over?” I asked.

He was quiet for some time. “If you like,” he said eventually. Something about the words screamed a desperate
hell yes
to me, so I pushed off the wall, waved good-bye to Nova—who gave me a flirtatious finger-waggle in return—and went over to my car.

* * * *

I wanted to say something light and cheery when Jasper opened the door, but the expression on his face made that an impossibility. Instead I held my arms wide open, and he stepped into my embrace without hesitation.

“Hi,” he muttered into the crook of my neck.

“Hi,” I responded with a small, stupid smile on my face. Then I found his mouth suddenly on mine. It felt all sorts of good to hold him, to kiss him, to breathe in his clay-and-watercolor scent. Jasper molded himself to me. He made tiny little sighing noises as he kissed me back enthusiastically, and I felt as though I might melt into a puddle right then and there, all soft and liquid inside.

Somehow we ended up in the hallway. I caught a glimpse of the open door to his room before Jasper cupped my cheek and directed my attention firmly back to him.

“What are we doing?” I asked in between kisses. My shoulder clipped a corner as we moved around it. I ignored the discomfort because, quite frankly, I had better things on my mind right then.

“What I’ve been wanting to do for years, and what we should have done days ago.”

“That’s, umm…” His tongue in my mouth stole the rest of my sentence. I didn’t know what to say anyway; I was too busy trying to breathe through the sudden rush of heat. A door slammed shut, and we were in Jasper’s room.

“I don’t even know what I’m doing,” I pointed out when Jasper leaned away from me in order to be able to look at my face. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes shiny, so damn beautiful it made me ache.

He touched my cheek. “I’ll teach you,” he said.

That sounded…like the best thing ever and vaguely terrifying, both at the same time. I wasn’t sure quite what to think.

“Yes?” He pulled his arms from my neck and instead took my hand, slipping his fingers through mine. “Bry, listen. I was thinking after we talked, and I realized that you are for sure the only guy I’m not gonna regret sleeping with, because you’ve been so good to me, and even when you’re mad, you’re a really decent person. Christopher would have made me feel selfish and guilty, Jeremy would have laughed at me, and you actually went and apologized. Do you realize that I’ve never had that before—just an honest, open apology with no strings attached?”