Authors: Melody Carlson
“How'd the test go on Saturday?” I ask Garrett in
chem class. Of course, I'm talking about the drug test, but for his sake I'm trying to be discreet.
He gives me a totally blank look.
“You know…” I lower my voice. “At the police station.”
He rolls his eyes. “I didn't go in.”
“Why not?”
He shrugs. “Why should I have to prove my innocence? Let them prove that I'm guilty first.”
“But it could've gotten you off, Garrett. Olivia and I bothdid the test.”
He looks surprised. “Why?”
“Because we wanted the charges dropped.”
Then the bell rings, and Mr. Dynell begins to lecture. As I listen to Dynell, I can't help but fume at Garrett. Why didn't he go in and take that stupid test? It would've been so easy. I glare at him, but he's not looking at me. And suddenly I start to wonder if he might've had a reason not to go in. Maybe he really does have a drug problem and knew he'd flunk that test.
I try to block worries about Garrett from my mind as I attempt to understand what Dynell is saying about dimensional analysis—like I even get it.
But really, what's the point in obsessing over Garrett and his problems? It's not like I can do anything about it anyway. And thinking about him not taking that test only frustrates me. Who needs the stress? So I decide to just put all this crud behind me. Oh, sure, I'll pray for Garrett. And I'll be his friend and lab partner. But when it comes to his personal life, he's on his own. Well, unless he asks for my help, that is. Otherwise, I'm going to focus on my own life for a change.
By Wednesday, the charges for both Olivia and me
have been dropped. Of course, that's not the case with Garrett. Still, he doesn't seem terribly concerned. So I continue to put it out of my mind as well. Besides, Zach comes home tomorrow, and I want to put my energy into making his homecoming special.
Mom and I talked to him on the phone Tuesday night, and he sounded so happy, so positive about his future and seeing his family again. I can't wait to see him. Mom started crying when she was talking to him. I guess he said some really touching things, and then he had both of us on the line and sincerely apologized to us, asking us to forgive him and promising to make things right for himself and for us. We both reassured him that we've forgiven him and just want to move on. We all want to return to a “normal” life again.
After school on Thursday, Olivia comes over to help decorate our house for our little homecoming party. It looks a little juvenile with the balloons and streamers and things, but at least it's cheerful. Then Olivia sticks around to finish things up while Mom and I drive out to the airport to get Zach. I wanted to invite a bunch of people over for this, but because of Zach's crazy lifestyle before he went to rehab, it's hard to know who his “good” friends really are. Finally I decided to keep it small. I invited Olivia, since she's sort of like family and Zach's known her for years and actually likes her. I also invited his best friend from high school. I'm sure Zach will be surprised by this. But it seemed like fate, or God, when I happened to run into Tate Mitchell at the grocery store on Monday.
I assumed Tate would still be away at college, but it turns out he decided to take some time off after Christmas.
“I just need to figure out my life before I finish my schooling,” he explained to me in the produce section. Then I told him a little about Zach and the whole rehab thing. I figured Zach wouldn't mind because he and Tate used to be pretty close, and Tate was always one of those trustworthy sort of friends. Tate seemed really concerned about Zach and wanted to reconnect with him, so I invited him to our little welcome-home party.
“It'd be great to see Zach,” said Tate. “It has been kinda lonely around town.”
So I'm feeling pretty good as Mom and I drive to the Portland airport together. Life is about to get a lot better for our little family. Of course, I also remember Ebony's warning, although I don't think that's going to be the case with Zach. I still haven't mentioned to Mom what Ebony said. For one thing there hasn't been an appropriate moment, but perhaps more than that, it's something I just really don't want to think about. Perhaps it's better for everyone to take a positive approach anyway. One thing I know for sure—I'm not about to tell Mom right now. She looks truly happy, and there's no point in raining on her parade over something that probably won't even happen.
We wait in the baggage-claim area as planned, and I can hardly believe it when we see Zach walking toward us with his backpack slung over one shoulder. He looks different. Older and more grown-up and surprisingly like Dad. And he's smiling so big you'd think he'd just won the lottery. His clothing looks neat and clean, and it appears he's put on some weight, which is good. His face has filled out some, and his eyes look clear and bright and happy. We all rush toward each other, falling into a group hug.
Then as we step back from each other, we're all wiping tears from our faces. Seriously, I think this is one of the best moments we've had in years. I pause for a couple of seconds, just staring at my brother as though I'm seeing someone who's come back from the dead.
“Zach,” I finally admit, “when I first saw you, I almost thought you were Dad. You look so much like him. I guess I never noticed it before.”
Mom is blowing her nose and nodding. “I thought the same thing.”
Zach smiles even bigger now. “Thanks.”
I keep looking at him as we head over to the baggage carousel to collect his bag. “You look fantastic!”
Mom hooks her arm into his. “You really do, Zach. It's so great to have’ you back. I mean,
really
back.”
“It's good to be back. You have no idea how good.”
He gets his duffel bag, and we head for the car, then home. We're all talking and catching up, and it really feels awesome to be a family like this again. It feels like it's long overdue, and I so look forward to getting to know my brother all over again. He's amazingly open about his addiction problems and how much the treatment program has helped him. He sounds so assured and confident that I have no doubt Ebony's brother must run a first-rate facility. And as we go over a bridge a few miles from town, I am compelled to silently thank God for this amazing intervention.
I sit contentedly in the backseat as Zach tells us about some of the hiking expeditions and outdoor challenges they had in Washington during rehab. I can't wait to tell Ebony how well it has gone for him—and to thank her. I almost invited her to join us for the welcome-home party,
but I wasn't sure how Zach would react to having her there since she pressured him into going in the first place. The last time he saw Ebony, he looked like he wanted to kill her. But that's all changed now. It's plain to see that Zach is a totally new person.
He's a little surprised to find Olivia and Tate waiting at home for us, but he seems pleased too. “You guys did all this for me?” He looks at the banner and balloons and food. “You're making me feel like that old prodigal son in the Bible. Remember how he came home expecting to live in the barn and work for wages but they threw him a big feast instead?”
“We're just so glad that you're home and well.” Mom hugs him again. That's worth celebrating.”
Tate and Zach seem to pick up right where they left off. Tate asks Zach about his recovery program, and Zach spares no details. “It was really rough at first. Going through detox is like going through hell. Seriously, man, you just want to die.”
Tate frowns. “Sounds pretty bad.”
“Yeah, at one point I was ready to make a run for it.”
“What stopped you?”
Zach shrugs. “For one thing, it was winter, and the weather was pretty bad right then. But I really thought about stuff, and I sort of figured rehab was my only chance at a real life again. If I'd bolted, there probably would've been a warrant for me, and if they'd caught me, I'd be stuck in jail.”
Tate asks why, and Zach explains about how his car had been found with some compromising evidence. Tate just nods like he understands. Then Mom pipes up and
tells Zach about how Olivia and I recently found ourselves in a similar position. Naturally, Zach is stunned.
“No way!” He looks at me and then her. ‘You two couldn't possibly get into that kind of crud! Oh, tell me it ain't so.”
So we relate the whole story of the birthday party and -the Ziploc baggie in Olivia's backseat and how embarrassing it was to be arrested—clear up to how the charges were finally dropped for both of us just yesterday.
“That's too bad you had to go through all that,” he says. “But at least you were innocent.”
“Even so,” I say, “it was pretty scary being taken into custody like that and then questioned like we were serious criminals.”
“Tell me about it.” Zach nods. “Makes a person want to stay outta trouble for good.”
‘Yes,” agrees my mom. “That would make me happy too.”
We visit awhile longer, and then Tate and Zach decide to drive around town. “Just to see what it feels like being on the outside again,” Zach tells us. “If you guys don't mind.”
Mom waves him off. “Go,” she says happily. “Enjoy your freedom. You've worked hard for it.”
I nod. “Yeah, we're just glad you're home and back on track. Have some fun.”
“I should go too,” says Olivia. “I have to cram for tomorrow's lit exam.”
And then, once again, it's just Mom and me rattling around the house. But this time it feels different. It's not so depressing. And I can hear Mom humming as she puts dishes in the dishwasher. It's like we've entered into a new chapter of our lives together as a family, and I can't help but think things are going to be better. A lot better.
S
o how's Zach doing?” Olivia asks as she drives us to school. It's Friday, and my brother's been home for just over a week now. It started out so good, but lately I've been a little unsure. Oh, I don't like to worry, but I just don't know.
“Okay,” I tell her. But even as I say this, I'm not convinced.
“Okay, as in good? Or just okay?”
Olivia knows me, and I figure I should just be honest with her. “I guess I'm a little worried about him.”
“Has he gone to an NA meeting yet?”
I shake my head and mutter, “No.” I already explained to her how Zach is supposed to attend Narcotics Anonymous meetings three times a week. It's part of his recovery program. Also, he's supposed to meet with his mentor, a guy named Casey, who has called our house at least once a day during the past week, but as far as I know, they haven't gotten together once.
“Why not?”
“Well, at first Zach told us he just needed a break from all that. He said after three months and so many meetings and group counseling sessions and therapy and stuff, he was just tired of it.”
“That's understandable.”
“Maybe, but what if he doesn't go at all?”
“So he's had his week off. Maybe your mom can put some pressure on him to get back into the routine now.”
“Yeah…maybe…but she's kind of distracted with Steven too.”
“They're still dating?”
“Yeah. That's another part of the problem.”
“What?”
“Zach doesn't really like Steven.”
“Oh.”
“I mean, I have to give Zach some credit. He hasn't let my mom know how he feels. But he has told me that he thinks Steven is a fake.”
“A fake?”
“Yeah. That's what I said too.”
“What does Zach mean?”
“He thinks Steven is pretending to be something he's not. He thinks he's some kind of con man and that he's going to take advantage of Mom somehow.”
“Seriously?”
“Pretty weird, huh?”
“So what do you think about Steven?”
“Well, I told you how I was sort of suspicious of him at first. He's younger than Mom, and I wondered why a guy who has never been married, drives a cool car, makes good money…well, you know, why would he be interested in an older woman, especially one with two kids? Okay, nearly grown kids. But still I wondered…at least at first anyway.”
“But your mom's a pretty cool lady,” says Olivia. “She's
smart and good looking, especially after that makeover. Why wouldn't he like her?”
“I know. And after getting to know Steven a little better, I've begun to like him. And I can see that he really is good for my mom. He treats her well, and she seems happier having him in her life.”
“You'd think Zach would appreciate that.”
“You'd think, but I'm starting to wonder if Zach is jealous.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I think he might've gotten the idea that he would come home and be the man of the house and take care of things. And then he finds out Mom's already got a man. Or sort of. I mean, it's not like they're serious or anything. But you know. It's like Zach's role has been taken.”
“So does Zach know what he wants to do now that he's back?”
“Mom keeps encouraging him to register for classes at the community college. She thought he could still get in for spring term. But he keeps making excuses. He says he'd rather work for a while.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” Olivia says as we get out of the car.
“No, but it's not like he's been looking for a job either.”