Playing With Fire (Guarded Hearts) (20 page)

"Fuck, baby, you taste amazing."

             
His words were the last straw. I exploded around his fingers and into his mouth.

Carter looked up at me and smiled, then started to make his way back up my body. "You are so damn sexy, baby. I'm gonna make you come again but, this time, I want to be inside you. That way, I can feel your beautiful pussy squeezing my dick."

Oh my God, hearing Carter say that almost made me come again right then. He lifted my legs up and wrapped them around his waist. He pulled back, looked up at me, smirked, and then sunk down deep inside me. "Carter!"

He felt so good. I'd heard stories about sex that were scary. It had never been like that with him, though. Everything had been like a fantasy. I lifted my hips to him, taking him in deeper.

"Whose pussy is this, baby?"

Did he just ask me that? Was I supposed to answer, or was it rhetorical? Carter lifted himself up to look at me and stopped moving.

"Well?"

He really did want me to answer. "It's, um…yours."

"You don't sound too sure of that. Maybe I should just…" He started to pull out of me, but I tightened my legs around him.

"It's yours, Carter. It's all yours!" I practically yelled it, overcome with my need for him.

He smiled. "You know why it's mine?" How the hell was I supposed to answer that? I felt like I needed to watch porn just to brush up on my dirty talk. "Let me show you why, baby." Okay, good, that one was rhetorical.

He pulled out of me a little before, slamming back into me. Carter was pumping in and out of me so hard and fast that I couldn't think straight. I didn't even recognize half of the sounds that were coming out of my mouth.

"I know you're close, baby. I can feel you squeezing my dick. Come for me again, Maddy. I wanna feel you."

That was all I needed and I was spiraling from the most intense orgasm I'd ever had. "Carter!"

I felt him filling me with his hot liquid. Tonight was exactly what I'd hoped it would be, and more.

*  *  *

I was having lunch with Nicole today, and I couldn't wait. Things had been so hectic with class and everything that I felt like there was so much we needed to talk about.

There was still the issue of her and Jason but every time I brought it up, she changed the subject. I was going to get the whole story today, though. From what I understood, Jason drove her home after everything on New Year's Eve, but she was still shaken up so he came in to hang out with her a little till she calmed down.

This was a bad idea from the start, because Nicole had a thing for Jason from day one. Apparently, they had a couple or, in reality, about six drinks and ended up in bed. That was all I had to go on, though, and J wouldn't talk to me about it. Carter was going to talk to him later today and try to figure out what was going on with him.

Nicole walked into the diner looking gorgeous as always. I swear, it was like she didn't even need to try. If she wasn't my best friend, I'd hate her for it.

"Hey, Mads!" She threw her arms around me and hugged me. I missed living with her sometimes. Carter was great, but I'd never realized how much fun we could have been having because I was too caught up in the Chris mess.

"Hey, Nic! I'm so glad you could come today. I feel like we never see each other anymore!"

"That's because Carter has introduced you to the wonderful world of sex and orgasms. You know, you should really put hoes before bros sometimes. Even if that bro looks like Carter."

She laughed and I was so thankful that she got it. I was just learning how to balance friends and a relationship because I'd never really had either of them. "Speaking of the wonderful world of sex, I want the Jason story, girl."

Her eyes got wide and I could tell she was looking for a way out. Just then, the waitress came by the table to get our order. By the look of relief on her face, she seemed to think she was off the hook, but there was no way in hell that was happening. Once we gave our orders and she left, I turned back to Nicole.

"So, what did the romantic do for Valentine's Day?" she asked.

She was good. I couldn't wait to tell her all about what happened. However, I was going to get her story first. "I don't think so, woman. I want the details."

She glared at me like she wanted to kill me. "Okay, bitch face, but after that, you need to drop it."

She looked at me and I nodded my head in response.

"Jason drove me home from the hospital that night after we'd found out you were gonna be okay. I asked him if he wanted to come in because I was so wired, I knew I'd be up for a while. After we'd finished our fifth or sixth drink, I knew it was time to put the bottle away. There was no way that Jason could drive home, so I offered to let him stay. I went down the hall to get changed and when I got back to the room, he was already in bed."

She paused like it was something that was hard to even think about. "I really didn't intend for anything to happen between us, but one thing led to another and we kissed. Mads, it was the best fucking kiss I've ever had and I wanted more. He did, too, because he told me that all I had to do was say the word and he'd give it to me."

The waitress dropped off our food and I thanked her for both of us, since Nicole seemed like the next word might send her over the top. "Did I ever tell you that I used to ride horses all the time when I was younger and throughout high school?"

Where the hell did that come from? Weren't we just talking about Jason? God, I hoped she wasn't going to make some reference to him being a sex stallion or something like that.

"They say that a lot of times girls can break their…their hymen when they're really active with sports and stuff. My
gynecologist was actually the one that pointed it out to me during one of my visits. She told me I was lucky because whenever I did decide to have sex it wouldn't be as bad as it is for other girls."

I think I knew where this was going, but I wasn't sure if I believed that Jason would take her virginity in a dorm room while they were drunk. He was a player and could be an ass sometimes, but he wasn't like that. "Nic, what are you telling me?"

"Jason was my first, Mads, but I don't think he even realized it."

"You didn't tell him?!"

"No! Truthfully, I trusted him and it just felt right. I thought he'd just know. I mean, isn't it their job to know? Although, it probably didn't help that we were both really drunk. When I woke up in the morning, he was gone...no note, no goodbye, nothing."

I could see how hurt she was. Nicole had wanted Jason for a while and when she finally got him, he acted like nothing happened. I knew there was no way J had any idea about Nicole. I doubted he even understood how into him she was. "God, Nic, I'm sorry. I really don't think that Jason had any idea, though. You should really talk to him and tell him how you feel."

"That's just it, Mads. I did. I talked to him a couple weeks ago and told him that I wanted to maybe see where this thing would go."

I could see her eyes starting to well up. "What did he say?"

"He said that he had a lot of fun that night, but he wasn't interested in anything more. He wanted to make sure that we'd still be cool, because we're all friends. I told him that we were fine, but I've been avoiding him ever since and I feel like he's doing the same thing."

I was going to smack that boy right upside his head when I saw him. J and I had talked about his commitment issues before. I'd seen the way he looked at Nicole when she was around, and I could tell he had feelings for her. If he wasn't careful, he was going to push her far away enough that she wasn't going to come back.

"If it's worth anything, Nic, I've talked to Jason before and he has serious commitment issues. I see the way he looks at you and I don't think it's that he doesn't want anything with you. I can't tell you all the details because, really, it's not my story to tell, but he avoids getting close to people so he doesn't need to deal with them leaving. Maybe if you show him you're not going anywhere, he'll come around."

I could see her trying to process all this information. Nicole was stubborn, though, and she wasn't going to chase after Jason for long. "Okay, I can't talk about this anymore. How are you?"

"I'm great! Carter and I had a great Valentine's Day yesterday. Classes are rough, but it's really not anything I can't handle." She was giving me the look she gave when she knew someone was bullshitting her. "What?"

"Listen, I understand that what happened on New Year's was traumatic, to say the least. You need to talk to someone about it. Carter told me that every time he tries to talk to you about it, you change the subject. This isn't healthy, Mads. You need to get it out. You can't keep everything inside. I know for a long time you didn't have anyone to talk to or anyone who cared, but you do now."

I hated that she was right. Every time Carter tried to talk to me about it, I couldn't bring myself to do it. "What do you want me to say, Nic?"

"I don't want you to say anything, ho. I just want you to talk to me, yell, get mad if you need to. I want you to stop pretending like it wasn't a big deal, because it was."

Most people didn't get Nicole's sense of humor and probably would’ve gotten offended by the ‘ho’ remark but, to her, that was like calling someone a friend. "All right, you win. It scares the shit out of me. Half of the time I have dreams where Jason didn't find me, and I imagine all of the things that could have happened. I'm scared to go out again because I have no idea how whoever it was put something in my drink."

"See, now was that so hard?" I laughed because she always had a way to help me cheer up. "I know it's hard, babe. I truthfully don't know how they did it, either. It doesn't help that they haven't caught the asshole. What you need to understand, though, is that keeping it inside won't help you. Carter talked to me the other day and he's worried about you. You need to talk to him and let him know what's going on."

"I know. I'll talk to him, I promise."

Carter

"Listen
,
J
,
you need to start talking and tell me what the hell happened between you and Nicole."

I met Jason at the coffee house today because Maddy and I decided we needed to get to the bottom of whatever happened. For the longest time, I had the same mentality that Jason did. I wasn't willing to let anyone in, and I just didn't want to. But, I could see that he wanted it with Nicole. His stubborn ass just didn't want to admit it.

"Carter, just let it go. It was nothing."

"That's bullshit, J, and you know it. I've seen you with plenty of girls, and I can tell this was different." I knew he had commitment issues, but he needed to get over them. Nicole was great, and I could tell he knew it.

"All right, listen, I admit that she got under my skin. I don't know what it is and it's pissing me off because I can't get her out of my head. I don't want a relationship, Carter, I don't want to depend on someone just so they can leave. I understand it's messed up, but that's just the way it is right now."

He was such a damn idiot. "J, listen, Nicole isn't one of those girls who's just going to use you, okay? She isn't like that, and I think that's why you're scared. You know that, if something happened with you and her, it would be long-term. What you need to understand is that it isn't a bad thing."

"I know that, Carter. I see how you and Mads are, but that's just not something I can wrap my head around right now."

"Well, you can't use other girls to screw her out of your system, you know."

"Trust me, I'm starting to figure that out. The screwed up thing is that when I'm with those girls, I'm imagining they're her." His phone started ringing and he smiled, but quickly wiped it off.

"Who is it?"

"It's Nicole. She wants to meet me. I don't know what to say, Carter."

"Meet her and figure this out, J."

He just nodded at me and got up to leave.

When I got home, Maddy was sitting on the couch, watching TV. I plopped down next to her and wrapped my arms around her. "How was lunch with Jason, babe?"

"He's a stubborn ass. I tried my best, but I don't know if it did any good. How about you?"

"My lunch was...interesting." I turned to look at her because I could hear the hesitation in her voice. "Nicole told me about how you feel like I need to talk to you more."

"Maddy, listen, I-"

"You're right." Well, I wasn't expecting that. "Carter, I'm sorry if I've been closed off. I'm just not used to having people to talk to. I'm used to just taking things in and keeping them there. I understand now that it isn't going to work anymore."

"I'm glad you know you have people who are here for you. I'm not going to push you, though. Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll be here."

"I'm ready to talk."

I'd been waiting for this. I knew she's get here if I didn't push her. "Okay."

"Thinking about what happened on New Year's still scares the crap out of me. I have nightmares and I don't wake you up when they happen, but I'm not sure why. It's scary for me to know that whoever did it is just out there, and I don't know why they did it or who they are. I get that I can't keep you in the dark, though. I want to be more open with you, and I promise you that I will."