By telling Selina what he had been through, he had purged the animosity from inside him and was left with only acceptance. Acceptance of him by Gary and Selina as they sat on the cold tile floor and hugged. He was surrounded by warmth, and he let them give him what he had yearned for and needed for so long. He wasn’t about to push them away again. Fear had ruled his life since he was eight years old, and that fear had been swept away forever with their love and acceptance.
He felt as if she had just saved him from a long, hellish path of bitterness, and maybe if he hadn’t opened up, eventually he would have self-destructed. He had always had a fear that Gary would find someone else to need and love, and that terror finally drifted away.
“I love you, Steve,” Gary whispered.
“Same here, honey.” Selina lifted a hand to cup his cheek. She wiped away his tears and placed the most reverent, love-filled, gentle kiss on his lips, which made him gasp for a deep breath.
“Ditto, sugar,” he heard himself say and gave her a chagrined smile, because he hadn’t known he was going to say that until the words left his mouth. Turning his head, he looked over his shoulder to Gary. “You, too, man.” He turned once more to Selina. “I’m sorry I hurt your arms, honey.”
“I’m not, because you didn’t hurt me. I’m made of much sterner stuff than you think.” She rose to her feet. Holding out her hands to Steve and Gary, she helped them off the floor. “Let’s eat, I’m starving.”
“Me, too,” Steve replied, and they all laughed when his stomach gave a loud growl.
With renewed camaraderie and openness, Steve helped reheat their breakfast and they all tucked in with a companionable silence. When they had finished and the kitchen was once more clean, Gary poured them each another cup of coffee and urged them to sit at the table.
“I’ve been thinking about Joe,” Gary began. “I don’t like the gut feeling I have about him. I believe it would be to your benefit, Selina, if we hired you a bodyguard and a private detective to investigate this bastard.”
Selina opened her mouth to protest, but Steve halted her with a finger over her lips. “He’s right, sugar. I would feel a lot more comfortable if you had a bodyguard and we had someone searching for him, too. As much as we would like to be here for you twenty-four-seven, we all know that that can’t always be possible. If we get called out to a site and have to leave you alone in the office, I would worry about you the whole time we were gone. That can be dangerous on a job, and we can’t afford to suffer an injury.”
“All right, we have to get going. We have an appointment with the insurance assessors in half an hour, and Gary and I are going to get you a bodyguard,” Steve stated firmly as he helped Selina to her feet.
Selina turned to face him and argue, but he gave her an implacable stare and watched with satisfaction as her mouth snapped closed and she headed to the bedroom. He grinned and sighed with relief. She was learning. Even though she had wanted to argue with him, she had just let him have his way because she knew he cared for her and only had her best interests at heart, and she accepted him the way he was. Stubborn to the core.
* * * *
Selina began to clean up the glass as soon as they arrived at the offices. As she worked she listened to the deep rumble of masculine voices in the office behind the reception area. She hoped Gary and Steve didn’t have to spend too much money because of her but then pushed that thought aside. She knew if one of her men were in danger, she would do everything she could to keep him safe. She was just finishing up when the insurance assessor exited the office, gave her a nod, and left.
“Selina, honey, could you come in here for a moment?” Steve called.
Selina entered the office and went to sit in a chair opposite their desks, but Steve held his hand out toward her. So she changed direction and walked over to him. He scooted his chair out from his desk and tugged her down onto his knees.
“I have hired you a bodyguard, and he should be here soon. I’ve known this man since college and would trust him with my own life.”
“Okay.”
“I want you to be prepared, sugar, because he is one mean son of a bitch to look at and he’s very brash and tough, but he would die to keep you safe,” Steve explained.
Selina was about to reply and tell him not to worry about her, but the door to the offices crashed open with a loud bang. She looked up and was glad she was sitting with Steve when she spotted the man stalking toward them.
He was the biggest, meanest, most muscular-looking male she had ever laid eyes on. He put Arnold Schwarzenegger to shame when the actor-cum-politician had been at the peak of his bodybuilding career. He had to be around six foot eight, and even though he wasn’t classically handsome, he was appealing to look at, with a square, stubbled jaw, strong aquiline nose, and chocolate-brown eyes.
He wore skintight, black leather pants and calf-length motorcycle boots. A tight black T-shirt covered his chest, his arms had ink from the elbows to up under the sleeves of his shirt, and he carried a leather jacket over his shoulder, hooked on a finger. The man’s bald head glistened under the fluorescent light of the office, highlighting the tattoo on the top of his head, and she was worried he would hit his skull on the light. She found him alarmingly intimidating and wasn’t attracted to him in the least.
She tried to school her face into a blank expression but couldn’t prevent a frisson of fear running up her spine, making her tremble. She stared at him with awe and didn’t even realize her mouth was hanging open until Gary leaned over and gently pushed her lower jaw closed.
Gary went to the man with a welcoming smile, and he held out his hand in greeting.
“Hey, Dorian, thanks for coming.”
“Hi, Gary, Steve,” Dorian said and took a seat opposite the desks.
“Hi, Dorian. This is Selina Bauer,” Steve introduced.
“So, this is the little lady you want me to guard?” Dorian asked and gave her a smile.
“Yeah. Selina, this is Dorian Matthews. Selina has had some trouble with an ex, and we think he was the one to try and shoot her. She has a restraining order out on him, but he’s violated that before,” Steve explained.
“We can’t be with Selina all the time. We have too many new projects going on at the moment, and we want her safe. That’s why we called you in.”
“Understandable.”
“Dorian is a retired Marine, sugar. He worked for us for a while until he established his own business as a freelance bodyguard,” Steve clarified for her benefit. “We know you’ll be in safe hands if we aren’t around, honey.”
Selina couldn’t seem to find her voice, so she gave a slight smile and nod. The three men burst into laughter as they looked at her, and she wondered what was so funny. She had to wait until they had their mirth under control before one of them could speak.
“We aren’t laughing at you, sweetness.” Dorian smiled. “I seem to have that effect on most women.”
“And what would that be?” she asked curiously.
“Total speechlessness,” Dorian replied with a grin. The smile lit up his whole face, illuminating his eyes with a mischievous twinkle. “I know I can be a bit intimidating.”
“Boy, do you think? That’s the understatement of the century.” The three men roared with laughter once more. “Oh, I like you, honey. I can see we are going to get along just fine.”
“Do you mind getting us some coffee, sugar? We need to fill Dorian in on what’s been going on,” Steve said and helped her to her feet when she moved.
She was glad for an excuse to leave the office. Even though she thought she could get to like Dorian, the man intimidated the hell out of her by his sheer size.
She walked into the filing room and looked up when Gary came to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Are you sure you’re okay, baby?”
“Yes, I’m fine. How about you?”
“I’m okay. Why?” Gary asked, clearly puzzled.
She turned in his arms until she was facing him and wrapped her arms about him.
Of course he couldn’t resist having her in his arms and pulled her in close, until their bodies were touching from chest to thigh. After a while she moved back slightly and looked deeply into his eyes.
“You are so handsome,” she said.
“You are so precious,” he replied.
Selina could see wary expectation in his eyes and wondered what he was waiting for, but she could see deep-seated pain as well. It was as if he was waiting for a blow. As if he expected to be told he wasn’t good enough. Then the light finally dawned. Gary used his lighthearted personality as a shield to hide behind. The seeds of self-doubt were embedded deeply, and she wondered who had battered his self-esteem.
“Do you trust me, Gary?” she asked him quietly.
“Yes, Selina. I trust you.”
“Then stop hiding from me.”
“What do you mean?”
“You hide yourself with your lightheartedness and humor, and I know that is a part of you, and I love your wit, but you are allowed to be yourself. You hide your true self behind that cheerfulness and don’t let the real you out. You don’t need to be funny all the time or perfect. It doesn’t matter what other people think about you. You are a very loving, caring person, and I accept you just the way you are. You don’t have to be flawless around me or Steve. You don’t have to be faultless at all. None of us are infallible, least of all me. I would never judge you, and neither will Steve. My love doesn’t have conditions on it, Gary. I give it to you freely, and no matter what you do, I will never take it away. It just is, here in my heart, filling my soul and making me feel complete along with the love I have for Steve.”
Selina could see awe in Gary’s eyes, and she knew she was right. Pulling her close, tears spilling out of his eyes, he buried his face in her neck and hair. “God, I love you, baby, so much. My parents were always on my case telling me I wasn’t good enough, always nagging and pushing, trying to get me to do better. But my best never seemed to be good enough for them, so I think I just gave up trying, you know. I started out acting up, and then I think it just became a habit. I barely scraped through college. If it hadn’t been for Steve striving so damn hard to pass and make his foster father proud, I probably would have flunked or dropped out. My parents have money, and their careers were always more important than I was.
“They never spent any time with me. I had a nanny to take care of me, but she was just as strict as my parents. The only time they ever called for me was when they wanted to tell me I had to do better. And better was just never good enough for them. The last year of high school I just gave up.”
“That wasn’t your fault, honey. Maybe your parents saw themselves as lacking because they measured their success with how much money they had and what they achieved compared to others. But you know what? None of that makes one bit of difference. You are a kind, loving person with good morals, and you’re a hard worker. You have so much to give, Gary, if only you’d let yourself.”
“How did you get to be so wise?” He then kissed her lips almost reverently. “I know this sounds kind of corny, but I feel…somehow as if you’ve saved me, baby, from myself. God, I knew you were perfect for us, Selina.”
She didn’t know how to answer, so she sniffed and hugged him close.
Steve thought about the previous night. How Selina had declared her feelings and the way she had held him. He had so much to be grateful to her for after the way she had accepted him and loved him, even with all his warts. He vowed he would do everything he could to keep her safe.
“She’s a pretty little thing,” Dorian said, interrupting his contemplation.
“Yeah, she is,” Gary replied with a goofy grin.
“Okay, let’s get down to business.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve hired a private detective to look for this asshole, and I need you to be with her whenever we can’t. You can stay in one of the spare rooms at our place.”
“Give me the lowdown on this motherfucker,” Dorian demanded in a harsh voice, and just like that, his friend’s demeanor changed. He became a warrior in the blink of an eye.
Steve and Gary spent the next fifteen minutes telling Dorian everything they could about Joe, which to Steve’s frustration wasn’t much. But he was determined to dig deeper into the bastard’s background and use anything he could to find him.
“So you’re telling me this asshole only went out with her a few times, and now he won’t leave her alone! So you think this guy is using his own name?” Dorian asked.
“I don’t know,” Gary replied. “The police have tried to find information on him, but what they’ve found wouldn’t fill a teacup. Apparently he was squeaky clean until he met up with Selina.”
“I think what we’re dealing with here is a sociopath,” Dorian speculated. “There’s no reason for him to be obsessed with your woman. She didn’t even go to bed with him,”
“That’s been my train of thought, too. Fuck, how the hell are we going to find this fucker if he’s not even using his real name?” Steve growled with frustration.
“Call off your private dick and let me make some calls and see what I can find. I have a friend I served with who can, if he’s asked, find out just about anything if you need it. He has the instincts of a ferret going after a rabbit.” Dorian stopped speaking when the door to the office opened.