Read Poisoned Rose (Dark Roses #1) Online
Authors: Nathalie Saade
Aurora groaned and let her head fall back onto the seat as Hawk’s words rung in her ears. The cab had shown up at just the right time and she’d thrown herself in without turning back. After all, why should she have turned back? So she could watch what she would never have and always want get further and further away from her? How could she have been so stupid? Hawk had never given her any indication that he had feelings for her. Maybe he cared about her, but he’d told her he didn’t want to be with her and she couldn’t force him.
She’d asked the cabbie to take her home but realized she didn’t want to go there. She needed to expend some energy and there was only one place she could do that. She gave him the address of the training center and slumped back into her seat, staring out the window. In her head, all she could see was Hawk, stepping away from her, the moonlight reflecting off his tight pecs and flawless abs. She groaned again and closed her eyes. What Hawk did to her was indescribable. Her body, her heart, her soul, everything ached to be with him. It was a physical pain, and when he’d said they would never be together… The cab pulled up in front of the center and she saw that the lights on the third floor were on. She paid and pushed through the gym’s front door after holding her palm up to the reader. Her boots click clacked up the steps, but she knew that even if she wasn’t wearing heels, Cross would have known she was there.
She reached the top and found him beating the shit out of a boxing bag. She could see him watching her out of the corner of his eye but he didn’t stop his onslaught and for some reason that pissed her off and she decided that he was the perfect outlet for her anger. She had almost reached him and he was still pounding away at the bag so she did what came to her first. She kicked him in the back of the knee. Hard. But he didn’t fall. Even though she hadn’t known herself that she was going to do it, Cross had anticipated the move. He spun around but before he could do anything she began laying into him. A spinning reverse kick to the head, an upper punch to the gut, a round house kick that hit him in the back and when he hunched forward a knee to the gut, a rain of punches to his side followed by a sliding drop to the floor and an attempt to sweep his feet out from under him.
It almost worked, but he was too good. He grabbed her by the bicep and pulled her up before throwing punches back at her in quick succession. She blocked them all but he backed her in to a corner. Then he grabbed her arm, whipped it behind her back and shoved her face first into the wall. She grunted as her face greeted the brick but tried to push herself off, rearing to go another round. But she couldn’t move. Not only was her arm held behind her, his weight was holding her in place and there was no way she’d be able to shift that mountain.
‘What the fuck is your problem?’
Cross growled in her ear, lifting her arm higher up her back. She tried to elbow him in the gut but he caught her elbow and squeezed. She gasped then groaned as the energy left her body.
‘If I let you go are you going to act like a civilized person?’
She murmured a muffled yes and Cross let go, stepping back and giving her space to turn around and rub at what would be bruises in the morning. She scowled at him and he motioned for her to start talking so she gave in and told him what had happened. Cross didn’t say anything and she leant back against the wall, rubbing her arm and bracing one foot up behind her. She didn’t know what made her confide in Cross, they’d never spoken about anything other than business, except for the random topics at Johnny’s birthday. But for some reason, she found it important to know what he thought. He rubbed his head and after a few moments he shrugged.
‘Well that’s gonna piss the other Families right off.’
She thought she’d misheard and asked him to repeat himself. He looked at her as if she were slow but explained his statement anyway.
‘He’s a Mason Captain and you’re a Hannam Rose, not to mention the sister of the boss. That’s going to create one hell of an alliance.’
‘Did you not hear a word I just said? Hawk doesn’t want me.’
Cross shrugged again and turned away. She stepped forward and grabbed his arm. He looked down at her hand and she pulled it away. Then he looked her in the eye.
‘Hawk Mason has loved you since he was five years old, ever since his mother placed you in his arms the day you were born. Maybe you don’t remember and maybe he’s trying to forget but a Mason never changes their mind. When he told both your parents that he was going to protect you forever, you better believe that he meant it, no matter how young he was. If he hadn’t been messed up so early, Mike wouldn’t have had a chance to get anywhere near you. You don’t just walk away from everything he’s done without any battles scars, so if you thought you and Hawk coming together was going to be easy, you’re out of your mind. Hawk is a fighter who’s not right in the head and you’re just beginning to know yourself, maybe you don’t want to hear me say that but it’s time for you to face facts. You need Hawk and he needs you. You can both fight it all you want but mark my words, you belong together.’
She was stunned. Cross had just confirmed what she had always hoped for yet never dared believe. The fairytale Hawk’s mother had told her night after night had been about them. But she shook her head, her mouth dry.
‘You’re wrong.’
Cross stepped in close, forcing her to look up into his eyes and snarled.
‘Why the fuck do you care what I believe?’
She couldn’t bring herself to answer. It wasn’t that she cared what he believed, it was that she knew that everything he was saying was true, but that it didn’t make a difference, and knowing that destroyed her. When it was clear that she wasn’t going to say anything, Cross spoke.
‘That’s what I thought. Now leave me alone for fifteen minutes so I can shower and then I’ll take you home.’
As Cross hit the showers, she punched the boxing bag in frustration and slumped down to the floor, resting her back against the wall. Their story had been beautiful; was it really possible that it had ended so wrong?
Aurora stood with her hands on her hips staring at the wall of Blu-Rays in the theatre room. She hadn’t slept since her show down with Hawk, haunted with memories from her childhood. Intimate moments that she hadn’t noticed when she was young plagued her, words and expressions and stolen glances, all revealing her true relationship with Hawk. She was pissed off and tired and couldn’t decide on a movie. Kneeling down to check the lower shelves, she frowned as she came across romance movies and realized they were ones that Eve had brought over and forgotten. She rolled her eyes as she ran her fingers over their spines. She hated romance flicks and felt the anger rise inside her as she continued to recognize titles, one after another, all promising bullshit like love and happily ever afters.
When she got to one particular title she pulled the case out, ground her teeth and hurled it across the room. She sat down and rested her head against the cases, rubbing her eyes and groaning. She knew Cross was right. Her and Hawk needed each other. Well, she needed him. But he had made a conscious decision that he didn’t want to be with her, so that was the way it was going to be, promises or not. She sighed and stood up, walking over to pick up the Blu-Ray when her cell rang. It was a number she hadn’t seen for a long time and she was smiling before she answered.
‘Hello stranger.’
The line was crackling and as Eve laughed, Aurora could tell she was in a car with the window down. She started saying something but Aurora couldn’t hear and had to keep asking her to repeat herself. It turned out she was trying to be cryptic and eventually gave up, letting Aurora know that she was moving back to L.A and asking if she could meet her at her place.
‘Yeah of course, when are you coming?’
‘I’ll be there in half an hour. See you soon!’
Aurora let out a sharp laugh and hung up, grabbing the keys to her car and preparing herself for what was coming. She hadn’t set foot in the Evans’ house since Mike’s funeral. She didn’t know what to expect and she was worried she’d find it difficult to cope. But what worried her more was if she didn’t find it difficult. What would that say about her as a person? She pulled into the driveway as the cab was leaving and found Eve surrounded by luggage, staring up at the old Tudor home. She was lost in her own world and didn’t realize Aurora was there until she spoke.
‘Didn’t want to walk in by yourself hey?’
Eve threw herself at Aurora, hugging her tight and kissing her cheek. She squeezed back as Eve said thank you over and over. When she pulled away, she noticed tears in Eve’s eyes.
‘Come on, let’s not make this a big thing.’
When they were standing in the foyer, she looked around, taking in her surroundings and trying to adjust to the time warp. She noticed that Eve’s breathing was heavy and that she had a tight grip on the handle of a suitcase, so she nudged her and smiled.
‘Let’s get your stuff upstairs.’
They made their way up the stairs but to get to Eve’s room they had to walk past Mike’s, and Aurora couldn’t do that. She stopped in front of his bedroom, surprised to find the door open, and realized that she had unfinished business. Eve understood and said she’d be in her room if she needed her. As Eve disappeared, Aurora crossed the threshold into Mike’s room. Everything was the same. The blue sheets they’d laid on night after night were still there and she let her fingers graze the soft cotton. She massaged her temples, not sure if she wanted to remember or forget, and found the bathroom door open. An image of a half naked Mike standing in the doorway and inviting her to join him in the shower flashed before her eyes. Taken aback by the clarity of her vision, she turned and found her reflection staring back at her in the dresser’s mirror.
Picking up a bottle of Mike’s cologne, she took off the lid and almost dropped it. The scent laced its way up her nostrils and into her head, hammering her brain with memories. She put the lid back on and slammed the bottle down. Bracing herself on the dresser, she turned to face the room. She almost expected Mike to walk through the door and ask if she’d missed him. She leant back and waited, staring at the door, and realized that she really did miss him. She shook her head but when she straightened her bracelet caught on the top drawer and pulled it open. Inside was a book and she frowned as she picked it up, remembering how Mike had distracted her from opening that drawer the night before he died.
She opened the first few pages and realized it was a diary, one that stretched back over a decade, and the page she’d landed on was an event Mike had never told her about. Her eyes scanned the page and she dug her fingers into the paper, stopping herself from smashing the book against the mirror. As the pages began to crinkle under her nails, she heard a sound and looked up to find Eve watching her from the doorway. The look on her face told Aurora everything she needed to know. She whacked the dresser with the book and Eve jumped.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘It wasn’t my place ok! Mike told me what Dante said and asked me to go with him to choose a ring. I didn’t think anything of it, I assumed you knew!’
Eve was telling the truth. She finally knew why Mike had proposed. Dante had told him that their relationship was in danger because she was in love with Hawk and at any moment Hawk could decide to tell her he felt the same way. Dante had told Mike about their fairytale. She wasn’t sure what she was more upset about, the fact that Mike had tried to trick her into marrying him or the fact that everyone had known about Hawk’s vow and nobody had told her.
‘Mike felt forced to propose! My family pushed him into a corner and threatened him with a fairytale that I didn’t even know was real.’
‘And if you had known?’
‘If Mike had told me than I could have said yes because I wanted him, not because Hawk wasn’t an option!’
‘What difference does it make Aurora? Are you saying that you wouldn’t have chosen Mike if you thought you had a chance with Hawk? My brother loved you, and if you didn’t want to marry him you should have said no so he could have found someone who deserved him! And, if Hawk cared about you so damn much why didn’t he tell you himself?’
Eve was right. Hawk had never approached her, even when her wedding was weeks away. So why was she standing in Mike’s bedroom yelling at his sister for not telling her the truth behind the fairytale? She slumped back against the dresser, setting the diary down beside her.
‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be yelling at you. It wasn’t Mike’s responsibility to tell me any of it. I can’t blame him for not wanting to lose me…’
‘It wasn’t about not wanting to lose you, he wanted to spend his life with you, to build a home and a family with a white picket fence and all that shit. I get that you’re angry and yeah you have every right to be, but don’t be angry at Mikey. If you want to be angry at anyone, it should be your family.’
Looking at Eve glaring her down with no fear, Aurora knew she would make one hell of a Rose. She was also right again. It wasn’t Mike or Eve she should be angry at. It was her own family who had pushed her boyfriend into a corner and never told her about Hawk’s vow. She grabbed the diary and walked out of the bedroom. She couldn’t confront her parents or Dante, but there were two people she could. She was going to find Johnny and Vince.