Porn Star (34 page)

“I’m not saying,” Ed said.

“I’m fairly sure it is,” Dennis said. “Maybe
instead of killing you, I should just wound you enough to make you
want to help us.”

Cassidy added, “Burn the fucker that hurts
like hell!”

“Not a bad idea,” Dennis said. “Anyone have a
lighter?”

One of the porn film crew pulled a lighter
from his pocket and tossed it to Dennis. Dennis caught it with his
ape arm. The lighter was a bit awkward to handle with that ape hand
but he got the gist of it quickly. Holding up the lighter to Ed’s
face, Dennis flicked the tab and nothing happened. Over and over he
tried to light the lighter and nothing happened. He looked over to
the crew who gave him the lighter and the camera guy shrugged his
shoulders indicating he didn’t know why the lighter wouldn’t light.
“What the fuck?” Dennis said aloud frustrated.

“Automatic fire suppression system on the
ship, fire can’t exist here.” Ed said.

“Then how do you light your cigar?” Dennis
asked.

“It’s fake,” Ed replied.

“Makes sense, “Dennis replied. “Then I need a
plan b. What would be very painful, but not kill you? Jamming my
fingers into your eyeballs? Tearing your arms out of their
sockets?”

“Fine, what do you want, as if I didn’t
already know.”

“Get I and Cassidy back on the ground, ASAP,”
Dennis stated as a matter of fact

“It will take some time, I have to get
permission and access to the shuttle pods.”

“How long with that take?”

“Day, maybe two,” Ed said.

“Make that hour or two,” Dennis replied.

“You don’t know how this thing works, there
are procedures, and it’s no different than booking airline tickets
back on Earth. Once I have the passes, you can take a shuttle pod
back down to the surface.”

“Why two days?” Cassidy asked.

“I don’t run this ship, I just rent space on
it. If you want out any faster, you’ll have to find your own way
down.”

“I can always go with plan c I suppose,”
Dennis said.

“What’s plan c?” Ed said.

“I brought a bomb with me, just in case,”

Cassidy spoke up, “It won’t go off remember?
The fire suppression system?”

“Yes, but this is a chemical based bomb, it
doesn’t rely on fire to explode. I pop a cap, mix two chemicals and
it will blow a hole in any standard framed house wall six feet
round. It’s not a lot, but enough to make a huge dent.”

“Where would you use it? You might end up
killing all of us,” Cassidy said.

“Good point Cassidy,” Ed said. “Without
knowledge of the ship, your bomb is worthless.”

“You know the ship,” Dennis said.

“Fuck,” Ed said realizing he should have kept
his mouth shut.

“Tell me where to use the bomb or I rip your
eyes out,” Dennis said.

“Honestly, I don’t know. You may cripple the
ship and leave us stranded up here forever and never get down. You
are better off waiting for shuttle tickets.”

“That gives you way too long to figure out
how to trap us here, we need out now. How was the film crew getting
back to the surface?”

“Shuttle,” Ed said. “Booked for tomorrow,
still fucked.”

“No, there must be other shuttles heading to
the Earth today, we need to buy those tickets outright, or tag
along.”

“Good idea,” Cassidy said.

“Maybe if we go down to the ticket sales
counter, we could offer to buy tickets from someone who has a
flight booked for today.”

“How are you going to pay for them?” Ed said.
“They don’t use your currency up here. these are aliens, they have
a universal currency aboard the ship. Like the Euro.”

“Then give me some cash,” Dennis said.

Once again Ed spoke up and regretted it.

Ed pulled out his wallet and handed Dennis a
silver and red card. It had alien writing on it but otherwise
looked like a debit card. “Use this, it has unlimited credit.”

“Good,” Dennis said grabbing the card,
“You’re coming with us.”

Dennis and Cassidy were able to purchase
shuttle tickets to the surface without much problem. Turns out Ed
was being a dick and lied to them to keep them onboard. Now back on
Earth, the two were safe and ready to move on with their lives.
Dennis decided he wanted to go back and do children’s photography
at the mall, Cassidy wanted to build her porn empire larger than
ever. They were an odd couple, but Cassidy knew that she could call
on Dennis at any time for a photo shoot, like a puppy on a leash.
Dennis knew it too.

Dennis got tickets for a bus and headed back
to Texas where he planned to find his dream job, Cassidy rented a
car and headed out onto the highway. That’s when she was pulled
over by the state patrol for speeding. Turns out she was driving on
a suspended licence and was hauled to jail, again.

The End