Poseidon (The God Chronicles) (4 page)

Welcome to the desert.

I fell into a lull of conscious thoughts as I drove from the complex, letting the road and radio take over everything. It was easier that way after my therapy sessions. I was being honest when I said I felt better, that I could handle the pain, but therapy was not always one of those times.

The tan buildings flashed by as I drove down the road to the freeway. Once there, I joined the few cars going my direction for another ten minutes—the same as always.

“Same is safe,” I muttered, not even noticing the habit I'd developed over the past few months.

After I exited the freeway, it was only a few blocks to my apartment. I'd moved after everything had happened, hoping that the memories wouldn't hurt as bad. It had turned out to be partially true.

“Hi,
Audrey.” The college girls that lived across from me were moving the last of their stuff out. I felt bad I still didn't remember their names and had a sneaking suspicion they knew, but they were kind as always.

“Hi,” I said back, smiling. “Do you need any help moving anything?”

“Oh, no,” one answered. “We had lots of help with it being the weekend and all.”

“Good, good.”

“It was nice living next to you,” the other said. “You were a good neighbor.”

I smiled again, wiping a bead of sweat from my forehead.

“Good luck with everything in your futures,” I wished them, turning to unlock my door.

“You, too,
Audrey.”

I waved as I shut the door, the cold air from inside pulling me into its embrace.

“Hey, Talley,” I said, as I bend down to pet the German Shepherd who was waiting to welcome me. Getting her had been a suggestion of Mary's, a companion to keep me from feeling so lonely. I was hesitant at first, mostly because I didn't feel like I was in any condition to take a life besides my own into my hands, but my dog had quickly become a great friend.

“Are you hungry, girl? I know I am!” I straightened and kicked my shoes off by the door, leaving my keys and purse on the counter. This place wasn’t much different from
what I’d lived in before, but I liked it all the same. There was only one room, at the end of the hall, opposite the door. The kitchen was right inside the entrance, the counter attached to the wall there. The living room was on the other side, a glass door leading to the balcony. It was small and just what I needed.

After pouring some puppy chow into Talley's bowl, I washed my hands and set to work on my own dinner. As the veggies simmered on the stove, I flipped on the five o'clock news and changed into shorts and a t-shirt. As always, a long walk with Talley followed our food. I was usually in the shower every night by eight thirty and bed by nine.

What occurred then was always my most anticipated and most hated part of the day.

“I went to the group therapy meeting today, John.” I rolled towards the edge of my
queen-sized bed, looking at his photo on the nightstand.

“It wasn't all that bad. Everyone really seemed to listen to me.” I lay there in silence for a few moments, just staring at his face. I never really had much to say, but it
felt like I had an entire world's worth of things to share every night.

“I miss you so much,” I
said, a tear escaping from my eye. “I know Mary probably wouldn't like it, me talking to you every night. She thinks I need to let go of you more. I don't know how though! I feel like I've let go of everything that I can. This feels like help—like you're helping me through. Just like you always did.”

I rolled onto my back, staring at the ceiling with my hands folded on my stomach. My mantra,
same is safe, pounded through my head. I needed John still, to talk to at least. And so, I uttered the same words I did every night before closing my eyes and going to sleep.

“I love you.”

A wet nose rubbed over my face and I squinted in the early morning light. Talley's whining was getting more and more panicked as she shuffled back and forth in front of me.

“Okay, okay,” I mumbled, pulling the covers back and placing my feet on the laminate wood flooring. After a quick pit stop for myself, we were out of the apart
ment and around Talley's most used spot. While she did her business, I watched a U-Haul truck pull into the complex. Apparently my new neighbors were wasting no time in moving in. I couldn't blame them for trying to get it done over the weekend though. We all had jobs and things to do.

“Come on, girl,” I
entreated, the truck parking in a spot close to us. “Let's get out of the way.”

For whatever reason, Talley decided that today was the day to sniff every single thing around her. No matter what I
did she moseyed along, smelling everything from flowers to concrete. Finally, she seemed to snap out of it and ran for the stairs ahead of us, yanking me along behind her.

“Talley, wait!” She pushed by the new resident, effectively tripping him with her leash, ripping it in two, and leaving us in a tangled mess of broken rope and box contents on the ground.

“I am so sorry,” I said, wincing as I sat up.

“Wow,” the man laughed. “She's pretty excited, isn't she?”

“Not normally,” I admitted sheepishly as I stood. “I don't know what got into her this morning.” Talley barked from the top of the stairs, tail wagging in triumph.

“She's cute, I'll forgive her,” he said, standing up as well. As he turned to face me, a flicker of recognition flashed through me.

“Hey,” I said slowly. “Do I know you?”

“You know what, I think I may have saved your life or something,” Sy said, recognition filling his eyes as well. “Imagine that, us running into each other again! How are you?”

“F-fine,” I stuttered. “I mean, good. I'm good.” My mind went blank as I stared at him, a dull pain bubbling in my chest as I remembered the circumstances that had brought us together. 

“Well, that's good news,” he laughed, not realizing what his sudden
appearance had brought on. “Does everyone still think you tried to kill yourself?”

“No.” I smiled and shook my head, pulling back to the present. “Thank you for that.”

“That's awesome to hear as well.” He flashed a blazing white grin. “How about your memory, did you ever get that back?”

“
Unfortunately, I didn't. The doctor's aren't really worried about it though. It's such a small amount of time I don't even really care if I ever get it back.”

“Well, I'm sorry to hear about that.”

Awkwardness was starting to fill the air as I stood there looking at him. His eyes were even bluer than I remembered. Everything else was the same though, right down to his tan skin, board shorts and sandals. The only difference was his hair—it was dry, curling slightly around his face. 

“Um. I need to feed my dog,” I
told him, embarrassment heating my face when I realized he knew I was staring.

“Cool. I'll see you around.” He grinned again and picked up the contents of his box.

“Do you need help moving in?” My eyes were practically watering from the heat coming off my cheeks.

“I’m good,” he said, crouching down and placing his stuff back in the box. “There’s not a whole lot to be honest.”

“All right, I guess I’ll see you later then . . . Sy, right?” I twisted the torn leash in my hand, slowly descending the steps backwards.

“Yeah! You’re
Audrey, right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay then, Audrey. I will be seeing you.”

Chapter Five

“Tell me about your month, Audrey.”

Mary sat behind her desk like always. Several framed pieces of paper on the wall behind her proclaimed her authority to work in this field. Everything in the room melted into a warm brown tone,
cradling me in its embrace. Sometimes even she matched her decorations.

“Well,” I started. “It’s been mostly the same. I go
to my mom’s during the day, come home, watch the news, and then go to bed.”

“So you’re still not going out at all,” she said, scribbling on the pad of paper in front of her.

“Not exactly.” My mouth quirked up in a slight smile.

“We’ve talked about this before,
Audrey, your mom doesn’t count!” She laughed as she looked up at me, her friendly eyes revealing the tease.

“It’s not my mom,” I grinned. “It’s a boy.”

Mary looked at me astounded. “I didn’t realize you’d decided you were ready to date yet.”

“It’s not a date!” I rushed. “The man who saved me from drowning, he moved into the apartment across the landing from mine. We’ve stopped outside to talk a few times that’s all.” I twisted my wedding ring around my finger, embarrassed she would make that assumption. 

“The man who rescued you in California?” Her eyes narrowed as her lips twitched, like she was fighting off a smile. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to spend time with him? Doesn’t he remind you of what happened before?”

“A little,” I admitted
, choosing to ignore her reaction. “But I’m treating it like a trial. I want to do normal things and test the waters. John wouldn’t have wanted me to stay locked up in the house for the rest of my life. When I see Sy, I remember what happened before, but I know that it’s part of who I am and needs to be fully accepted. I shouldn’t be hiding behind it. You helped me learn that.”

After a moment, Mary smiled almost lovingly. “You really have come so far
Audrey.” She rose from her chair and walked around her desk to stand beside the chair I sat in. “I think this is a good thing. If you’re comfortable with it, I would like to meet Sy sometime—to thank him for helping you on your journey.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said uncomfortably. “I don’t exactly
broadcast to the world that I go to therapy. He doesn’t even know what happened before we met.”

“It’s your choice, of course,” she said, leaning back against her
desk and folding her arms. “If you ever decide you want to bring him, it will be fine with me. Just think about it. I guess that’s what I’m saying.”

“I will.” I
beamed as I stood, our time together over.

“I’ll see you at our next appointment.” Mary waved as she let her next patient in, her sweet smile gracing her face.

I was grateful for her, of that I had no doubt. In the beginning, I had loathed going to our sessions. She had pushed me to do more than I wanted right from the start. I was supposed to move on from John, but still remember him. My memories from the accident hadn’t come back, but I had to accept that they were in the past and even if I did remember, nothing could really come from it. It had all felt so confusing and hurtful. I honestly wished that I had forgotten John, not those few watery moments. Over time though, I understood Mary better and what she wanted for me—peace and to continue on with my life as a normal person. Of course, grief was normal; I’d just taken it to not normal levels.

I walked across the familiar parking lot to my red cavalier. Thankfully, it was
less than one hundred and ten degrees today—a welcome respite from the heat that had been burning us all alive. Hopefully the trunk wouldn’t be too hot for the groceries I needed to pick up on the way home.

After a few moments of easy driving on the freeway, I pulled into the local supermarket, parked, and grabbed a cart on the way through the doors.

As always, the friendly staff greeted me as I entered, making comments about the heat and specials they had going on. I traveled through each well-organized aisle slowly, checking items off of the mental list I’d made. When I got to the chicken I was planning on making for dinner, I suddenly thought of Sy. He’d come home with a giant sack of microwave dinners right after he moved in. I was pretty sure I’d caught him eating green beans straight out of the can once when I walked by as well.

It’s not like I’d be asking him on a date
, I reasoned with myself.
It’s just dinner with the neighbor. He obviously either can’t cook or knows some weight loss secret no else does. What harm could it do?

I picked up a larger portion of chicken, eyeing it warily. I hadn’t cooked for two in almost a year.

It might be nice to have some company who can really talk. And isn’t Mom.

I dropped the meat into the cart and headed to the
checkout, my shopping finished. As the cashier rang everything up, I helped bag. A quick swipe of my debit card and one car loading session later, I was home.

I opened the trunk, not looking forward to the several trips it was going to take to haul everything inside.

“One trip is for losers,” I said to myself, quoting a picture caption someone had shown me, and proceeded to slide bag after bag onto my arms, leaving my hands free to grab the two gallons of milk I’d bought.

“Whoa, do you need help?”

I turned around to see Sy coming towards me in a blue and tan uniform, a tiny logo on one corner. He’d obviously gotten a job somewhere.