Poser (18 page)

Zach

I was starting to think he wasn’t coming.

I sat there at visitation, watching patients greeted by family or whoever it was that gave enough of a damn to come see them. Last month was the first time I was allowed a visitor. My father came, and it was good to see him.

My father was a lot of things. A successful, feared lawyer. A pillar of Maryland society. A son. A father. A widower. A husband.

I spent a lot of time in my early years hating him. But as a child grows, as a boy becomes a man, he sees a clearer picture of the people who raised them. He isn’t so much blinded by the identity of
mother
and
father
and learns to see the individuals behind those titles.

My father wasn’t a perfect man; he made a lot of mistakes. He married my mother out of love, but he wasn’t able to hold on to it. Their love, their relationship became about codependence. My mother needed my father like a sapling needed water. Instead of getting her the help she truly needed before it was too late, he enabled her. I think he liked being needed by her.

He let her become overmedicated, a mere shell of the woman he married, and they settled into some plastic existence. He never bothered to look around and see how that affected me. He wasn’t affectionate and he didn’t give praise often. Frankly, it was probably good they only had one child.

He did what he thought was right. I blamed him for that for a long time. But I couldn’t hold him at fault because he’d always been there for me.

Even when I didn’t think he was. Even when I didn’t understand.

Even now.

My mother took the easy way out and killed herself. My father stayed and picked up the pieces.

So where was he? Why wasn’t he here?

Just as I started getting annoyed, a door off to the side opened. It led to the administrative wing where the doctors kept their offices and therapy rooms.

My father stepped into the doorway and turned to say something over his shoulder. When he turned back, the door opened a little wider and I caught Dr. Becks’s profile.

Well, this was interesting. My father had a meeting with her?

His eyes scanned the room until they landed on me. He moved with ease as he made his way over. He was dressed impeccably in a dark-grey three-piece suit and tie. His short, graying hair was combed neatly and his face was clean-shaven.

He was starting to age, with fine lines around his eyes and a deeper one across his forehead. He always looked a little tired, though he tried not to.

Approaching the table, he said, “Son.”

“Dad,” I said as he sat down. I didn’t bother to get up. We never hugged. “I didn’t think you were coming.”

“You know I wouldn’t miss a visitation.”

I nodded.

“So how’re you doing?” he asked, looking me over.

I knew I looked well. I made sure of it. “I’m fine.”

He nodded slowly.

“You had a meeting with Dr. Becks?” I asked, not wanting to wait around.

“Yes, I did. She seems rather impressed with the progress you’re making. Said you’ve really opened up lately.”

I nodded sagely. “I feel a lot better, more in control.”

“She mentioned you’re having some anxiety about me being alone for the holidays.”

“We’ve been together every holiday since Mom…”

He nodded quickly. “I’m going to be fine, son.”

My chest deflated a little and my mood spiraled downward. That didn’t sound like I was getting out of here.

“She asked me how I thought you would do with a brief home visit over the holidays.”

I looked up and grinned. “And you said?”

He smiled slightly. “I said it might be good for you.”

“Thanks, Dad!” I tried to keep the enthusiasm down a notch, but it was so hard. The thought of getting out of here was enough to make me salivate.

“Not so fast. It’s not a done deal. It depends on the next few weeks, what the judge says based on Dr. Becks’s report and arrangements for your outpatient care.”

“What kind of care?”

“You’re still in treatment, Zach. Therapy sessions, medication monitoring, etc. All that will need to be done at home.”

I didn’t care. I just wanted out of here.

“There’s talk of you wearing an ankle bracelet.”

Well, that wouldn’t do.

I tried to hide my anger and annoyance. “It’s not like I killed anyone. Geez.”

“Need I remind you what you did?” Dad took on a stern tone. “I saw that girl at the hospital, Zachary.”

I resisted the urge to sneer. How dare he judge me! Rimmel deserved everything she got.

“There just isn’t an excuse for what you did to her.”

I wanted to yell and argue. I certainly didn’t want to sit here and be contrite. Not with my own father. It was bad enough I had to play that game all day long.

Still, I sucked it up. “I know and I’m ashamed of what I’ve done. I’m on medication now. It keeps me level.”

His shoulders deflated, and he patted my hand. It was as close to a hug as I would get from him. “I know, son. It’s clear you’ve been working hard. I’m going to make sure you get all the help you need. If I had done that for your mother…”

“I’m nothing like her,” I insisted, my voice hard.

“Of course not.” He glanced around to see if anyone noticed my distress. “I just want to make sure you’re feeling your best.”

I wanted to laugh at how quickly he made it sound like I was at a spa.

Dad cleared his throat and glanced at the clock on the wall. “Well, I know I didn’t stay as long as last time, but Dr. Becks wanted to speak to me.”

“It’s okay. I appreciate you coming.”

“I’ll always be here for you, son. And Anna sends her love.”

That was a lie.

He stood, and I did the same.

“You’ll follow up with Dr. Becks about the holidays?”

“Of course. Hopefully, this time next month, we’ll be watching football and eating turkey.”

Football. Ugh.
“Sounds great!” I lied.

After he left, I sat at my empty table and watched some of the other people a few more minutes before going back to my cell—I mean room.

When I stood up to leave, one of the orderlies motioned for me to sit back down. As I sat, he came over. “You have another visitor.”

“Me?” I asked, confused. There was no one that would come here other than my dad.

“Yep. Time’s almost up. Keep it brief.”

I stared at the entrance where the visitors were ushered in. A few seconds later, the door buzzed and opened.

Someone familiar stepped into the room.

Well, well, well…

This was going to be interesting.

Zach

I watched her long, slim legs as she approached me. They didn’t make her brand in this place. After all, any woman who looked like that wouldn’t spend a second in here. Even if somehow someone like her was sent in, she wouldn’t walk out the same.

So I took the time to appreciate the fine eye candy headed my way without thinking too much about what this could mean.

I knew it was going to be good whatever it was, but first, I was going to enjoy the view.

She was wearing a short skirt and heels. I didn’t notice the color; all I saw was skin. Her top wasn’t overly tight, but I still looked at her tits. They weren’t large, but they were perky. Definitely better than anything in here.

She stopped at the table, and I lounged back in my seat and slowly looked up. I wanted to give her an official onceover. I wanted to smirk and say something inappropriate.

But I couldn’t.

People were watching.

Doctors were watching. Those who signed papers that would let me out of here. Instead, I settled for a polite smile and folded my arms across my chest. “How’d you get in here?”

“I have my ways,” she replied and perched on the chair across from me.

“Do tell.” I leaned forward in interest.

She shrugged one thin shoulder. “No rules against a girl checking up on her poor, sick former classmate.”

I stared at her another minute. She was hot, the best looking one out of the ragtag bunch that hung in her social circle. Her dark hair was sleek around her shoulders and framed her made-up face and watchful gray eyes.

Funny, I never really noticed how much those eyes actually saw. There was something shrewd deep in them, like she missed nothing.

“Are you here to tell me how terrible I am, Missy?” I asked.

“I’m pretty sure you don’t need someone to tell you. Especially not in here.” She glanced around with distaste.

It amused me. In fact, this entire conversation was amusing. It was the most entertainment I’d had since I walked through the doors of this prison.

“Then why are you here?”

She reached down beside her and pulled up a basket. “Thought you’d like a few things to make your stay here more comfortable.” She slid it across the table.

I glanced down. It was filled with designer soaps and lotions. Much better quality than what they provided in here. There were also a few bags of candy and some business and men’s magazines.

“What, no fashion mags?” I asked like I was unimpressed.

“Oh, did you want to read your horoscope?” she mocked. “Here, let me just sum it up for you. You’re going to hell.” Missy’s glossy lips pulled into a sweet yet sardonic smile.

I smirked and let out a full-on laugh disguised as a chuckle.

“I’m here to give you information,” she said, her smile disappearing and a more business-like tone taking over her voice.

“You mean giving me this totes adorbs basket wasn’t why you came all this way?” I batted my eyes and tried to speak her native tongue.

Okay, I just wanted to mock her.

She rolled her eyes and gave me a disgusted look. “Get real. But you of all people know how it works. Gotta play the part.”

Ah, yes, I knew very well. I was just surprised she seemed to know.

“What information could you possibly have that I would want?” I asked, my interest growing.

“I know about what you did to Ivy.”

Well now.
I sat back and narrowed my eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She laughed like I said something funny and smiled like this was just the bestest visit ever. I’d hand it to her. She was good at playing the part.

“I think you do,” she said in a much lower, serious tone after her display of friendliness.

In truth, I knew exactly what she was talking about.

The night I roofied Ivy and had my way with her.

#

I did it as a means to an end. A way to get access to Rimmel’s room.

But I guess if I were being totally honest with myself, I would admit maybe there was more to it than that. I wanted to take a blond-haired, blue-eyed looker for a ride. I wanted to know what all the fuss was about with her kind.

She was basically the female version of Romeo. The female version of the type my mother left me and my father for. The type that was her ultimate downfall.

What was it about these fun-seeking, laidback blond bombshells that made everyone so crazy anyway? They had no substance. It was all about status with them. All about a good time.

Couldn’t blame a guy for wanting a sample of the stock.

I hadn’t set out to drug her. I thought she’d fall right into my bed. Everyone knew she was easy. Everyone knew she got around.

At the party that night, Ivy was looking fine and living it up. Drinking too much and laughing loud. She was constantly surrounded by people, the life of the party. Guys checked her out from all angles, and she seemed to like it.

So I watched her that night. I waited until she was pretty drunk, worked my way into the crowd around her, and cracked a couple jokes to make her drunk ass laugh.

Then I made a move on her.

Stupid bitch acted like I had some kind of disease. She didn’t want anything to do with me, like I was somehow lesser than every other guy in the house. Romeo thought I was scum, so that must mean I totally was.

It pissed me off.

How dare she act just like the rest of them! Like she was too good for me. Didn’t blondes like any attention they got?

When she was in line for the bathroom, I approached her. I pinned her up against the wall and kissed her. She smacked me across the face.

People nearby laughed at me.

I played it off and laughed too. Made some comment about how I liked it rough.

Inside, I was fuming, but I kept it contained. When she locked herself in the bathroom, I went and found the drug. That shit was so easy to find on campus; they might as well set up a station for it at the food court.

I grabbed a pill, dropped it in a beer, and let it dissolve.

When she was back in the crowd, surrounded by her followers, I sidled up to her. She rolled her eyes and told me to get lost. I swallowed my nasty comeback and apologized for trying to kiss her.

Her drunk, clueless ass thought I was sincere. I offered her the beer as an apology. She stared at me so long I thought she was suspicious. I started to freak out a little, thinking she somehow knew what I was up to.

But then she shrugged and snatched the cup. Ivy downed that beer like the bad little girl she was.

She was so wasted it didn’t take long at all.

I got her back to her room, used her keycard, and let us in. The first thing I did was dump her on the bed. She had no clue what was going on. She actually thanked me for bringing her back home so she could sleep off the liquor.

I accepted her thanks, of course. I was a gentleman after all.

While she lay there out of her mind, I hurried to find Rimmel’s laptop. I did everything I needed to do and left the trail behind on her hard drive so I could get in later.

When I was done, I almost left. Okay, I didn’t almost leave. I thought about it for a passing second. And then I laughed.

At first, I thought she was passed out. The drugs made Ivy practically boneless. But when I stood over her and looked down, her eyes fluttered open and barely focused on me.

“What are you doing?” she slurred.

I smiled and pulled off my shirt. “Giving you exactly what you want.”

I reached down and grabbed her boob. She had nice full ones.

“No!” She tried to slap my hand away but didn’t have enough control.

I yanked off her shirt and bra, letting her half-naked body flop back down on the bed. Her blue eyes widened and I saw fear in their depths. It made me feel high, gave me a rush.

“Don’t touch me!” she moaned.

I grabbed her face with my hand and squeezed. “You think you’re too good for me?” I spat. “You’re not. I’m too good for
you
. You should think of this as a gift.”

I shoved her face away and pinched her nipple.

She whimpered.

I reached for my jeans and unbuttoned the top.

A clear memory of years ago when Brett had done the same thing flashed through my mind. He was trying to show me he had the power and he was the one in control.

It didn’t work, though, because in the end, I won.

I always won.

I’m the one who taught
him
a lesson, just as Ivy was gonna get one right now.

But I wasn’t like Brett. Not really. He was a sick pervert. Ivy wanted this. She just didn’t want to admit it. And at least she was a girl. Trying to prove dominance over another man through sex was just nasty, but dominance in the bedroom with a female…?

That was different.

Romeo thought no one could touch him. He thought he was above us all.

Well, he was going to find out just how wrong he was. I was going to penetrate his inner circle. I was going to take away everything he held dear.

But first, I’d start with penetrating this blonde. The female version of him.

“No, please,” she begged when my clothes were gone and I climbed on the bed.

“Just lie there and enjoy it. It’s the best you’ll ever have,” I told her. “Shame you won’t remember this tomorrow.” I sighed regretfully. I leaned down close, and she tried to turn away. It didn’t matter. I knew she could hear my whispered words. “Deep down,” I said, shoving my hand down her panties and cupping her sex, “deep inside, you’ll know…”

After I had my way with her, I took a couple pics. By that point, Ivy was practically passed out, so she didn’t even protest. These pictures would just be one more way to show Romeo I could take what I wanted, that his perfect existence wasn’t so perfect after all.

I knew exactly what I would do with them too.

I’d send them to the campus gossip hound, the #BuzzBoss himself. He’d post them up for everyone to see.

Then everyone would know who the true alpha of Alpha U really was.

#

“You’re really just going to sit there and pretend you don’t know what I mean?” Her voice brought me out of the memory, and I glanced up.

“What?”

She made a huffing sound. “I saw the pictures.”

I sat up straighter in my seat and stared her down. She looked back without blinking. “How?” I said slowly, trying to understand.

“I have my ways.” She smirked.

“Did the #BuzzBoss post them recently?” I asked, panic making my leg jump underneath the table. I tried to remain calm, to appear unruffled. It was fucking hard. Those pictures couldn’t get out.

Not now. Not ever.

“One,” she replied. “A very naughty one of you two in bed. The whole campus was atwitter at the sight of Ivy’s naked chest.”

Wait a minute.

There was more to this. Missy was like Ivy’s shadow; the two went everywhere together. It took a while to get Ivy alone at the party that night just so I could get her back to her dorm room. And if Missy knew what I’d done to Ivy, then she wouldn’t be sitting there all calm and collected.

Wouldn’t she be outraged?

Wouldn’t she be pointing a finger and yelling, “Rape,” for all to hear?

Did Missy think what Ivy and I did was consensual? Is that what everyone thought? This was good. This could work in my favor.

I’d been on a high that night. I hadn’t been thinking straight. I was pumped up from pulling off breaking into Rimmel’s room and starting my next plan to bring down Romeo. I was also pretty keyed up over the hot sex I’d just had.

So I did something stupid. I sent the pics I took throughout the night (with the help of a couple of my buds) to the #BuzzBoss.

At the time, I thought of those pictures as trophies. Of proof of how good I was.