“I want you to drink from me.”
He sighed heavily, and his teeth lengthened more at the mere mention of feeding. “This is not a good time to tempt me. I’m faltering a bit today.”
“Hear me out, please. You, yourself, has said what you’re doing is making you sick. You’re a demon. You need blood. That’s a fact of life. I don’t want you to end up dying just to prove to yourself that you can refrain. It’s been over a week now since you fed, only having a few stolen drops from a scratch here or there. You’ve proven you can abstain. Now can you learn to exist on a certain ration? Think of it as being like a medicine, something you take in a regular doses at certain intervals—just enough to keep you healthy and strong. You’ve done well to maintain your attitude to a decent level. Yes, you’ve been a little harsher, and you’ve had to rely on hours of physical exertion to help burn off steam. But that hasn’t necessarily been a bad thing.” I smiled at him.
Vance groaned, his eyes flaring brightly. “You’re killing me, girl, just talking about it.”
“Talking about what? The blood or the other?”
“Both,” he muttered, running his hand down my body, and then giving me a little pinch.
“I think you could maybe learn to control this by treating it instead of ignoring it. You tell me if you think it will work. You know better than I do. I just don’t want you to end up dead because you’re trying to prove a point here. I’m willing to help you out however you need.” I pinched him back to prove my point.
“Killing me, girl. Kill. Ing. Me.” He flipped me over onto my back.
I laughed. “Good. It’s part of my job description. What kind of wife would I be if I weren’t driving you crazy somehow?”
“Then you’re doing your job well, baby, because I’m constantly going nuts over you.” He smiled, but a shudder ran through him again, and his teeth lengthened even more. He grew serious. “I’m going to try your suggestion because I am getting sick, and I know you’re right. I can’t survive completely without blood. But please know this is going be hard for me. I’ve been without for so long I’m feeling quite ravenous right now. I’m afraid I might lose control when I bite you.”
“Drink it all if you need it. Will that help you start from a place of better control?”
He clenched his teeth. “I don’t know. It could bring the bloodlust back even stronger.” He was breathing heavily now, like he’d been running a great distance, and I knew he wouldn’t be able to contain himself much longer. Talking about it had riled him up too much.
I lifted my head from the pillow, reaching to pull my hair away my neck. “Come here. Let me help you.” I wondered if this was what drug pushers felt like when they tried to entice their victims, but I couldn’t feel guilty about it. He needed me.
He lowered, but his lips found mine instead, and I sighed as his tongue touched mine. If he was more worried about making me comfortable so I could receive his bite easier, then he was going to make it through things just fine. He was definitely the one in control of himself.
He kissed me frantically, his hands running over my hips and slipping behind me before he pulled me up into a kneeling position, without breaking the contact of our mouths. He lifted me up to straddle him, settling me there before kissing down past my collarbone and settling his head against my chest. “I love you,” he whispered against my skin, rubbing his lips back and forth and sending chills coursing over my body.
I tossed my head back at the sensations he was creating, exposing my throat to him. He slipped his hand around my neck, bringing me next to him, and he placed his mouth against my skin, trailing his tongue until he sank his teeth into my flesh.
I cried out even though the bite didn’t hurt too badly, and he laid me back on the bed, drinking heavily from me, his body trembling as he struggled to stay in control. I was beginning to feel some weakness when he drug himself away from my neck.
“Take all that you need,” I whispered.
“You’ve given enough,” he replied with a relaxing sigh. He licked the blood that remained on his lips and bent to kiss me once again.
I pretended I wasn’t eavesdropping, but I doubted I fooled anyone. I was certain Vance knew I was in his head since he hadn’t done anything to raise his privacy barriers to keep me out.
He’d been repairing a rotted wall on the corner of the pump house when Hex showed up. I watched them walk around the building together as I continued to polish some of Earl’s ritual silver on the back porch.
For some reason I found it difficult to keep the smile from creeping across my face when I heard companionable laughter rise up from the two. My heart pounded in my chest, and I realized I was happy—really happy.
When Vance noticed Hex by the tree earlier, he stopped what he was doing and walked over. I held my breath in anticipation of the confrontation.
“Hello, Hex. Good to see you here,” he said, and I don’t know who he shocked more, me or Hex. “I’ve wanted to talk to you about some things.”
Hex looked him over suspiciously. “Then speak,” he finally grunted.
“I wanted to tell you thanks for all you’ve done to take care of Portia. I may be a little slow to catch on with everything that’s gone on lately, but it suddenly occurred to me she wouldn’t even be a part of my life right now if you hadn’t stepped in to protect her. I’m truly grateful for that.”
Hex stared back at Vance unspeaking, his gaze narrowing slightly.
Vance continued when he didn’t say anything. “This has been a tough time for me. I know you’ve seen me out here working a lot. I’ve been trying to overcome some of these demon tendencies—namely the bloodlust. I’m tired of hurting Portia all the time. I love her, and she shouldn’t have to be going through all of this.” He cast a glance over to where I was polishing on the porch, and I hurriedly looked back at my task, rubbing the silver chalice I was holding furiously.
I heard his laughter in my head before he spoke again. “Portia and I had a long talk, and she reminded me to look for the things I really want in my life and what is truly important. The fact of the matter is I never wanted to be a demon. It’s been something I’ve tried to avoid my whole life. Yes, I’ve been swayed by the power and the bloodlust since then. I allowed myself to get distracted from my true desires and instead became wrapped up in seeking revenge against my father.”
Vance turned and walked away from Hex, picking up his hammer and nails, but he kept talking so Hex followed dutifully after him.
“I know you think I’m greedy for wanting to keep her in my life, and you’re right. But what you don’t understand, Hex, is that I love her. I love her more than anything. I’ve always loved her, practically from the first moment I saw her. Had I any idea what I would put her through in that moment, I’d like to think I would’ve walked away and spared her the horror of knowing me.”
My hands trembled at his words, and I had to stop what I was doing. Just the thought of never knowing him made me queasy, sick. I gripped the chalice so hard my knuckles turned white.
“That’s not what happened, though. So now I’m left trying to do my best to make amends to her for what I’ve drawn her and her family into. When Portia reminded me to reevaluate the things in my life, I realized I needed to make a choice. I could choose to be the man she fell in love with, or the demon that’s made her life miserable. It was a no contest decision, easily made. But no matter how easily decided, executing that is much more difficult.
“I addressed the bloodlust issue first, cutting myself off from it completely. That’s why you’ve found me out here so many times, working hard to stay occupied.” Vance picked up a board and measured it against the wall were the rotted damaged area was, marking it with a pencil before going over to a saw horse he had set up nearby.
“How’s that working out for you?” Hex finally spoke up.
Vance glanced at him and shrugged. “I’d say it’s probably one of the more excruciating things I’ve gone through in my life.” He began sawing vigorously on the board.
Hex watched, waiting until he was finished. “It’ll kill you, you know—if you abstain completely.”
Vance nodded. “Yes, I know. Portia convinced me to start looking at it like a medical condition, so we are going to try regular doses. One pint a week for now, until we see how that goes.”
“So she fed you already then? You look better than you have in a while,” Hex stated.
Vance sighed. “Yes, she did.”
“Good,” Hex replied, and Vance jerked his head up to look at him, surprised at the approval.
“Well, that’s something I never expected to hear out of your mouth.”
“You’ve told me your story. Are you open to hearing mine?” Hex asked.
Vance chuckled. “You’d tell me anyway, even if I said no.”
“I’ve never been one to keep my opinions to myself.”
“That has always been plainly obvious. Go on. Tell me your story.”
“I’ve loved Portia almost from the first moment I met her too. While my love for her differs from the kind the two of you share, it’s still true. That night, when I found her in the swamp, I slipped inside her head for a moment to feel her. I didn’t want to risk bringing someone evil to my hidden location. What I felt in that moment was a pure soul who was completely broken hearted and terrified.”
Vance grimaced, and I saw him clench his fists for a moment before he released them and continued on with his task.
“When Portia woke up she told me what happened, from beginning to end. I watched that little girl sob her lights out over you.”
I could feel Vance’s heart constricting in pain, but he didn’t interrupt, continuing to work silently as he listened to Hex.
“My mission became teaching her how to protect herself. I knew she hoped to rescue you somehow, but honestly I had already written you off as a lost cause. The few experiences I’ve had with demons have not been good ones, and I wasn’t about to delude myself into thinking you were something worth saving. I didn’t plan for how dedicated Portia is to you though. She’s always been willing to risk anything to have you, and frankly, it drives me crazy. I don’t feel your worthy of that kind of adoration.”
Vance smiled. “You’re right, I’m not.” He picked up the hammer and began prying the rotted board away from the wall with the clawed side.
Hex sighed. “Let me amend my statement. I didn’t think you were worthy—until now. I can see you’re making an honest attempt to both protect and keep her happy.”
Vance paused and faced Hex. “I must be losing my mind, because I swear I just heard a compliment cross your lips.”
Hex grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t let it go to your head, blood boy. I still have my eye on you.”
Vance laughed heartily, clapping Hex on one shoulder. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t know how to act otherwise.”
Hex smiled slightly. “I need to go before I think I might be starting to like you.”
“That’s a good idea,” Vance agreed. “I’d hate to find out if mutual respect is contagious.”
The two men grinned at each other.
“Is it safe enough for me to bring the others back here? They’re getting awful tired of living at the hotel.”
Vance pondered this for a moment, glancing to where I was sitting. I didn’t even try to pretend I wasn’t listening this time, wondering what he would say.
“I guess it would be fine. Portia’s blood is what I crave the most anyway. If I can abstain from her it seems reasonable I could do it with the others too. I can only promise you to try my best.”
Hex nodded, walking past Vance. “I need to go talk to your wife.”
I watched him head toward me, not seeing the wide grin and the thumbs up sign Vance gave me behind his back, which caused a giggle to burst unexpectedly through my lips. I quickly covered my mouth, biting the side as I tried to hide it—feeling fairly composed by the time Hex reached the screen door to the porch.
He came to my side and sighed loudly. “Go ahead. Lay it on me now. I can take it.”
“Do you really think I would sit here and gloat with an “I told you so” comment?” I smiled.
“You should. I was wrong about him.”
“We’ve all been wrong about him at some point and time, Hex, myself included.”
“That may be, but I still want to apologize for doubting your judgment.”
“Apology accepted, and thank you for always watching out for me. Vance and I would’ve never made it this far if it hadn’t been for what you’ve taught me. I’m sorry if it seemed as though I was always throwing the things you were telling me back into your face. I was listening, but he’s always been the most important priority of mine.”
“That’s what always made me afraid for you, girl, and it still does. I don’t want to see you lose yourself because you’re trying to save him.” Hex frowned.
I lowered my head and began rubbing a non-existent spot on the chalice. “There is no me without him,” I stated flatly.
“I’m not going to argue with you, especially when I’ve just tried to square things away with Vance. But you need to learn to stand on your own and be yourself. No one should ever have to rely on someone else to find happiness.”
I stood to face him. “I have stood on my own without him. It was the loneliest and most terrifying place I’ve ever been, and I don’t ever want to have to do it again—I won’t do it again!” I turned and marched into the house, slamming the door, only to have Hex pop in front me, barring my way.
“Portia, I’m sorry. I was just trying to tell you what I see.”
“Well, see something else then. I’m not changing. This is my life, and he is what I want.” I folded my arms and glared at him.
“That’s your choice, and I will do my best to respect it.”
I sighed and slumped into a chair at the dining table. “I’m tired, Hex. I’m tired of all the conflict—all the fighting. I’ve had to fight with everyone about wanting to stay with Vance. I’ve had to fight against Damien to try to keep us safe and together, and I’ve had to fight with Vance through everything he’s going through. Not to mention fighting to save Krista, and now trying to find a way to help my dad. I can’t do it anymore. It’s too much. Either people can accept me the way I am, or they can leave. I won’t take the emotional criticism anymore. I’m done.”