Powder Blu (20 page)

It had been two months since I'd killed Budz and I can't lie, some days I missed him, but when I got to thinking back on how he played me, I became content with the decision I'd made. I realized I never really knew the real Budz; the Budz I had been in love with as a little girl never really existed.

Mr. Davenport, Black, and I took over Chicago as planned. We even had some of Budz's soldiers working for us. Not all of them accepted a job, because their loyalty still lay with Budz. The streets had many rumors of what had happened to Budz; his soldiers never questioned Budz's absence fearing for their own lives as well. It really didn't matter; we were on top of the world. We were selling the purest blue powder that anyone had seen in a long time and nobody's product was coming close to touching ours.

Black had moved me out of Budz's house and into one on the north side. I loved Black more than life itself; he took good care of me. Black loved me too and proved it to me every day. Black nursed my emotional wounds and always made me feel like I was number one in his life. I could honestly say I knew he was out in the streets fucking other bitches; he's a man. I expected nothing more or nothing less. What I didn't have to put up with was him fucking niggas. This was a good feeling.

Daren made sure my game stayed polished. He always gave it to me raw and uncut, no matter if it hurt my feelings or not; he said he was preparing me for real life. He always made sure he told me to never get too comfortable in the game. Because one day I could be sitting on top of the world and then the next I could be standing in front of the judge facing an “L.” I took all his advice and put it to use; that's why I was always looking for opportunities to stay on top.

I was standing in the kitchen cooking breakfast when Black walked in. “Good mornin', baby,” I said smiling.

“Mornin',” he replied before planting a kiss on my lips.

“Are you hungry?”

“Naw, I'll grab somethin' at the airport,” he said.

“Where you goin'?” I asked, surprised.

“I need to fly to Trinidad for a few weeks,” he said, nonchalantly.

“For what?” I questioned.

“I got business to handle, that's why,” he said, catching an attitude.

“Your business is here,” I said, turning the fire off underneath the eggs.

“Look, I don't have to explain my every move to you.”

“You right, you don't! But the respectful thing woulda been you tellin' me you leavin' instead of just gettin' up for breakfast and announcin' you takin' off for a few weeks.”

“I want you to remember one thing: I'm the fuckin' boss! I don't have to tell you shit,” Black snapped. “I go and come as I please, you understand?”

I shook my head yes.

“Good. Now I will call you when my plane lands,” Black said turning and walking out of the kitchen, leaving me to wonder where all this was coming from.

 

 

Yogi made sure business ran smoothly while Black was over in Trinidad doing God knows what or who. He went from calling me every day to barely calling me at all and when I tried calling him, he would hit the ignore button like I didn't know what he was doing. Black's “I'ma be gone a few weeks” trip had turned into two months. I was going crazy. He still wasn't answering my calls; he was ignoring me all around the board. For the life of me I didn't know why he was treating me like he was. I couldn't recall doing anything to him. I needed some answers, and the only one who could give them to me was Daren. I didn't know if I was ready to hear the truth, but I knew he was gon' give it to me regardless if I was ready for it or not.

“Wassup, Daren,” I said walking into his house.

“Wassup, baby girl?” he replied.

“Have you heard from Black?” I asked, hoping he would say no, because I didn't want to be the only one Black was avoiding.

“Yeah, I just spoke wit' him this mornin',” Daren replied.

“What the fuck?” I snapped.

“What's the matter?” Daren asked concerned.

“I haven't heard from the nigga in way over a month,” I frowned.

“What? That's strange. Did y'all get into an argument or somethin'?”

“No. I didn't even know he was goin' to Trinidad until the day he was leavin'. We hadn't been arguin' or nothin',” I said, confused and hurt.

“Wow, that's strange. I don't know, Blu. All I can tell you from a man's approach is the nigga is up to somethin' so keep yo' eye on him and I will definitely do the same.”

I thought Daren would have better advice to give me than that. It was obvious Black was up to something, I just didn't know what.

“Sorry I couldn't be of much help. But if this will help any, he will be home Friday mornin',” Daren said.

“Thank you,” I said, trying to hide my excitement. I couldn't wait for Black to get home so we could talk. Whatever it was that was bothering him, we needed to work it out. I was losing sleep and weight over this mess.

Friday took forever to roll around. I couldn't wait to see Black. I got up extra early and went to the hair shop and got my hair done. I put on a black sleeveless Nicole Miller jersey tuck dress that fit my every curve, with a pair of Steve Madden D'Orsay pumps. I was looking good as hell if I had to say so myself. The morning had turned into late afternoon, still no Black. I had called Daren to see if he'd heard from him; he told me that he hadn't. I even called the airline to see if he made it in. The lady on the phone couldn't give me any information about the passengers who were on the plane, but she assured me the plane arrived at 8:25 a.m.

The longer I waited on Black, the madder I got. I called his phone back to back. Still no answer. I guessed he got so tired of me calling he turned his phone completely off. Not being able to take it anymore, I changed into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, jumped into my truck, and headed over to Black's apartment. I pulled up in front of the bar and got out. I was mad as fuck as I walked in. I looked around to see if I could see Black; he was nowhere in sight. I walked over to the elevator, climbed on, and pressed the button. I walked up to his door and pressed my ear up against it to see if I could hear anything. All I could hear was some kids screaming and running across his hardwood floors. My heart beat heavily as I knocked on the door and waited for somebody to answer. I needed answers and I wasn't leaving until I got them.

“Who is it?” a woman asked.

My heart had more bass than a Bose speaker. “It's Blu, is Black home?” I replied.

The woman opened up the door. No homo, but this was one of the most beautiful women I had ever laid eyes on. She stood at least five feet eleven inches; her body was right and tight. You could tell by her slanted eyes that she was of an Asian descent. She had silky, straight black hair that was pulled back and wrapped neatly in a bun. She wore a tight-fitting cheongsam that hugged every last curve on her body. Her makeup had to have been applied professionally because the shit was on point. I could tell this broad had class and lots of it. This bitch was straight model material and I can't even lie I was jealous as fuck!

“No, he's not here,” she answered.

“Do you know when he'll be back?” I asked.

“Sit down, J.R. I'ma tell ya daddy when he gets back,” she yelled at the little boy who ran around the house yelling and screaming. “No, he said he had some business to tend to. And you are who again?”

“I'm Blu. And you are?” I asked.

“I'm Black's wife, Ke'Oree,” she introduced herself.

It felt like my air supply had just been cut off. I couldn't believe this bitch-ass nigga. I just stood there staring at Black's wife. “Honey, are you okay?” Black's trophy wife asked me. I didn't know whether to flip the fuck out or what.

One of the little kids came by his momma's side peeking out the door and smiling at me. I couldn't bring myself to act a fool in front of these kids; it wasn't their fault and it damn sure wasn't hers. “Yes, just tell him Blu stopped by,” I said.

I barely made it off the elevator and back to my truck before the tears came. This time the tears were from pain. Every portion of my being was devastated as I sat in my vehicle and cried so hard I literally felt weak. How and why would he do this to me? Flashbacks and images of all the words, times, and dreams we had shared were running through my mind.

I drove straight to Daren's house because I didn't have anywhere else to go. He was the only man involved in my life who hadn't crossed me. As soon as he opened up the door I fell in his arms and cried like a newborn baby.

“It's okay, baby,” he said, rubbing my back. “I've been preparin' you for the truth for the longest; you chose to ignore the signs. You were blinded by love.”

“Oh my God, it hurt, it hurt so bad,” I wailed.

“I know it do, baby girl,” Daren said as he continued to console me.

“I thought he loved me,” I cried.

“Ain't no love in the dope game.”

“How could I have been so stupid?” I continued to cry.

“You weren't stupid. You fell in love, you're human. What you gon' do about this baby?”

“What baby?” I asked, confused.

“The one you're carryin',” Daren said.

“I'm not pregnant,” I protested.

“Yes, you are, baby girl.”

“How you figure that?” I looked at him and asked, slightly annoyed because how would he know that I was pregnant and I didn't even know?

“Trust me. I don't wanna go into details, fearing it might scare you, just take my word for it.”

“Okay,” I said, hesitantly.

After sitting at Daren's crying off and on for the next two hours, trying to get answers on why Black did me the way that he did, I headed home, stopping by Walmart to grab me a pregnancy test. I took it as soon as I got home and Daren was right, I was pregnant.

“What the fuck am I gon' do?” I thought as I lay across my bed. I tried calling Black several more times. Getting no answer, I cried myself to sleep.

Three weeks had passed since I paid Black a visit. I had called and texted him so much to where I got tired of it. I had it made up in my mind that I was done. I didn't know how I was gon' be able to get over him, being that I was carrying his child. I knew it was gon' be hard as hell, but I had no other choice.

One night I was sitting around the house with my mind racing. I was still trying to figure out what I had done to Black. I still couldn't figure anything out and that was driving me crazy. I wasn't answering my phone for anyone but Daren; everybody else I sent straight to voicemail.

I reached over and grabbed my ringing cell phone and checked the caller ID. Unknown came across the screen. I quickly answered it, hoping and praying that it was Black.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Blu, I need you to meet me down at the pier,” Black said.

“For what, Black?” I asked happily, but tried my best to keep it under wraps.

“Just meet me in an hour,” he said hanging up.

I didn't know if I should have been happy or angry. All I knew was I was having mixed emotions about Black wanting to meet with me. I wondered what he wanted. Maybe he wanted to apologize and tell me he want to make our relationship work. I quickly grabbed my keys and my cell phone. I then grabbed my baby .380 off the table. I didn't know what this meeting was about so I took the necessary precautions to be more safe than sorry.

I called Daren to let him know where I was headed. Just in case shit didn't go right, he knew who was responsible. Only thing he told me was to be careful and at anytime I didn't feel safe around Black take him out before he took me out. I assured Daren that it wouldn't come to that, but if it did I would definitely take his advice.

I pulled up at the navy pier and looked for any police cars. It was after hours and me and Black had no business being there. I calmed my nerves, put on my poker face, and then opened the car door and got out. I took my gun and tucked it in the front of my bra. I looked over by the water and saw Black standing there throwing rocks into the water, looking sexy as ever under the lamp.

“Wassup?” I asked walking over to him.

“What's up, beautiful?” he asked, before skipping a rock across the water.

“What you want wit' me?” I asked, getting down to business.

“Look, Blu, we need to talk, but let me shake you down first. I know how you get down; you might be tryin'a kill me,” Black said, jokingly, even though he meant every word.

I was nervous as hell. I spread my legs, held my arms out to the side and let Black frisk me, praying the entire time he didin't find my gun. He started at the top of my body and quickly made his way down to my waist area, checking it thoroughly.

“You satisfied?” I asked, relieved he didn't find anything.

“Yeah, I'm satisfied.” He smiled.

“Well what the fuck we gotta talk about, Black? I been tryin'a get you to talk to me for months. Now all of a sudden you ready to talk I'm just supposed to sit down and listen?” I snapped, trying to hold back my tears.

Black looked at me with sorrowful eyes. He was breaking me down and he knew it, but I refused to be this nigga's doormat. He got me once, but never again.

“I'm sorry, beautiful. I never meant to hurt you,” he said.

“Well you did!” I quickly interjected. “Why in the world would you not answer my calls or my texts? What the fuck did I do to you to make you avoid me? I woulda felt better if you woulda just got yo' number changed or better yet answered and told me to leave you the fuck alone!”

I knew this might have been the only chance I got to get all my questions out so I kept them coming. “Then how you gon' just wake up one mornin' and decide to go back to Trinidad without even tellin' me? Then gon' stay gone for months?”

“Look, Blu, I had some important business to handle back home,” Black said.

“What typa business, your wife and kids?” I asked.

“Blu, I'm sorry I hid my family from you. Nobody knows about 'em. It's safer that way.”

“Safer?” I asked, confused, needing him to elaborate.

“Look, Blu, I got enemies everywhere. If a nigga was tryin'a get at me and couldn't, he would definitely do somethin' to my wife and kids.”

I had to take a minute and process what Black had just told me. “Wow, so you can let a muthafucka know that me and you was fuckin' around, puttin' my life in the line of fire, but you protectin' this foreign-ass bitch?” I asked, angrily.

“No, it's not like that at all,” Black protested.

“Well it's sure looks like it is to me!”

“Blu, Ke'Oree is cut differently than you. She don't have a fightin' bone in her body. She can't protect herself or my seeds. You on the other hand, got heart for days. That's why I fucks wit' you,” Black said.

I looked at Black like he had three heads as he continued talking.

“That's why I had to go back to Trinidad. Somebody broke in our house, demanded money then tied her and my kids up. Before the niggas left they put a gun up to my son's temple and told Ke'Oree to tell me that this is only the beginnin' of what was to come. Blu, I couldn't leave her and my kids there to die. You know how that would make me feel?”

“Probably how I'm feelin' right now,” I said as tears filled my lids.

“Blu, like I said, I never meant to hurt you.”

“What about us?” I asked, needing to know.

“You my girl, beautiful, and I got mad love for you, but right now I have to focus on the safety of my family.”

“Are you serious?” I asked, crushed. “So just fuck me huh?”

“I'm not sayin' that.”

“Well what are you sayin', Black?”

“Look, I don't know how else to put it without hurtin' ya feelings.”

“I don't think you can do any more damage to my feelings,” I said.

“Look, Blu, I never meant to lead you on. I knew from the get-go that we could be nothin' more than friends with benefits. You were the one who made us more than what we was,” Black said, uncaringly.

Black's words ripped through me. I felt my legs getting weak. “What about our empire then?” I asked as the tears fell. The crazy thing was even after Black expressed to me how he really felt about me, I still wanted him.

“Look, business is business. We gon' continue to get this money. We can even fuck from time to time. But don't get it twisted; you see what I got at the house. Ke'Oree is my queen.”

I couldn't believe this nigga was standing here talking to me like I was a piece of shit. My feelings were crushed. This nigga played the fuck outta me. He was the reason why Budz was dead, he led me to believe that he and I would be together if I took Budz out, then after it's done he got the audacity to tell me that we could never be nothing more than just friends with benefits? This nigga had me fucked up. I thought about Nikki, Sierra, my momma, the Davidsons, Miguel, and Budz, and shook my head. “Can I ask you a question?” I looked at Black and asked.

“Go ahead.”

“Are you gon' be truthful wit' me?”

Black shook his head yes.

“You used me to kill Budz didn't you?” I asked, needing to know.

Black stared at me for a brief second before slowly shaking his head yes.

I couldn't believe it. “Why, Black?” I shook my head in pure disgust.

Black shrugged his shoulders. “I don't know, I just did,” he said uncaringly. “I guess I wanted to see if you'd really do it.”

“Wowowow! I'm 'bouta go, Black,” I said as I turned to walk away.

“We still cool right?” he called out.

“We still cool,” I said pulling my gun from the front of my bra and turning back around, pointing it at him.

“What the fuck?” he asked surprised, wondering where I had my gun hiding at.

“Rule number one: never get caught slippin'.” I smirked at Black.

“You got me,” he said, throwing his hands up.

“Look, Black, I love you so much, but you really hurt me. I even let you get in my head and you had me kill Budz. Then you just up and desert me,” I said.

Black didn't beg for his life; he wasn't crying or asking questions as I pointed my gun at him. His silence made me even madder than I already was.

“Do you have any last words?” I asked, angrily.

Black cleared his throat before speaking. “Look, beautiful, all I got to say is you pulled that gun out so you must be prepared to use it. For real for real, you don't have a choice because you already know if you don't kill me, I'm gon' kill you without thinkin' twice and I put that on my kids,” Black said with a dead serious look.

“My pleasure,” I said before letting off three rounds in his chest, watching him fall into the water.

I looked around to see if anyone had seen what I had done before walking to the edge of the pier, looking down at Black's floating body. I shot him one more time in the back just 'cause, before jumping in my truck and pulling off.