Chapter 5
Just Doin' Me
Business was booming. I was making a killing selling my rocks. I thought I was the shit 'cause I started gettin' clout in the hood with the notes. I was still working for my mom from time to time, but I had my own money to make. After a long tiring day on the block, I decided to head home and get dressed for the party Nikki and Sierra was throwing. My momma hated that I hung around them saying they were too advanced for me and I needed to find some girls my own age to hang with. I was sixteen now and felt I should be able to run with whoever I wanted to.
I had another friend, Kellie, who I hung around with from time to time, but her parents were strict as fuck. She wasn't allowed to do nothing; she was barely allowed to leave off the porch. She had to be home before the street lights came on; she wasn't allowed to talk to boys on the phone, let alone have a boyfriend. All her parents wanted her to do was keep her head in the books. I guess that was okay, but damn, let her be a teenager. My momma wanted me to hang around Kellie all the time but after arguing back and forth with her about me not wanting to, she gave in and said when I come home pregnant don't think she gon' take care of no damn baby. I just rolled my eyes and continued doing what I was doing. A lot of the shit my momma said went in one ear and right out the other. I shook the thoughts out of my head and walked into my apartment building.
“You got somethin'?” some clean-cut white guy I'd never seen before asked. It wasn't unusual to see a white note in the hood from time to time, but this guy didn't sit right with me.
“What you lookin' for?” I asked, skeptically.
The white dude looked around the hallway before answering. “Fifty,” he replied.
Any other time I would have jumped at a fifty dollar sale, but it was something funny about this guy. He didn't have that note look. He looked more like the feds than a fein.
“Yeah, I got somethin'.” I smirked. “I don't know if I got fifty, but it might be close to it. Where yo' money at?”
“Here it is,” he said pulling it out his pocket. “I'll take whatever you got.” The way he looked around I knew he was up to some shady shit.
“All right,” I said taking my back pack off my back. “Come over here in the light so I can show you what I got.” I waved him over to an empty bench. I slowly unzipped my backpack. I could see the wide smile on this man's face out the corner of my eye. I pulled out a small paper sack. I saw the man quickly look over his shoulder. “What flavor you want? I got strawberry, grape, and green apple,” I said pouring the flavored tootsie rolls out on the bench.
“What the fuck?” the man snapped.
“You asked me if I had somethin'! What you thought I was sellin'? Nigga, I sell candy.” I smirked.
“Ain't this about a bitch! I don't want no candy. I want crack!” he yelled.
“Well I don't know what to tell you, man. I don't sell crack,” I said frowning and picking my candy back up, throwing it back inside the bag.
“Well do you know where I can get some from?” he asked, hopeful.
“Let me think.” I looked up at the ceiling and twisted my lips as if I really was thinking. “Nope, now get ya police-ass on outta here.” I laughed as I pushed the button on the elevator.
“Shit!” he said as he walked away. I stepped on the elevator and watched as the man disappeared out the door.
“Better luck next time,” I said as the elevator doors closed. I walked through the front door and hurried to my room to stash my money. I could hear my mom's music blasting from out of her room. That only meant one thing; she was getting ready to go out.
“I need for you to watch the door for me tonight. I'm goin' out wit' Stella and Mari,” my mom walked into my room and said, scaring the shit out of me.
“But, Mom, I'm goin' to a party tonight,” I said.
“Whose party? I don't recall you askin' me if you could go anywhere!”
“Kellie's mom is havin' her a sweet sixteen party,” I lied, hoping she would let me go. I already knew if I would have mentioned Nikki or Sierra's name, she would have said no off rip.
“Well the only partyin' you gon' be doin' is up in this house, 'cause I need you to watch the door,” my mom said, smartly.
“Dang, how come Miguel can't watch the door for you?” I asked.
“Miguel ain't here and I don't know where he at,” she said.
“I don't neva get to go nowhere!”
“Yo' ass been gone all fuckin' day, so I don't wanna hear that âI don't never get to go nowhere' shit,” my mom fussed as she turned to walk out of my room.
“She get on my fuckin' nerves,” I huffed, but not before making sure she was out of earshot first. “I always gotta watch the damn door for her and she wanna pay me that little-ass bit of money. I got my own shit to sell!” I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch with a straight attitude. I picked up the remote and turned the TV on.
“You might as well fix ya face 'cause you still ain't goin' nowhere,” my mom walked into the living room and said. She grabbed her purse and car keys off the coffee table and looked over at me. “Now you already know what to do so there's nothin' that needs to be explained. I'll be back in a couple hours.”
“Whateva,” I said, rolling my eyes as she walked out the door. It never failed, every time my mom hooked up with Mari and drunk-ass Stella it would be four or five o'clock in the morning before she came home.
For the next couple hours the door was jumping. Around one o'clock all the traffic slowed down. Bored with nothing to do, I channel surfed and stopped when I got to Showtime
After Dark.
My mouth flew open when I saw these two white girls getting busy. I could see why my mom told me to stay away from these channels. I instantly got a sensation between my legs that I'd never felt before. It felt like my jukebox had a heartbeat. The more I watched the more it throbbed. I was the only one out of my clique who was still a virgin and I was cool with that. I was saving myself for Budz anyway. There had been times when Nikki's twenty-five-year-old cousin, Oscar, tried to get me drunk and take advantage of me; he was cute and all but I couldn't get past the rotten smell that came out of his mouth. Tired of the throbbing sensation between my legs, I unzipped my shorts and placed my hand in my panties. I took my middle finger and slowly stroked the hard thing that sat in the middle of my snatch. It felt good, a little too good because I started moving my finger back and forth a little quicker I was really enjoying the feeling until I was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Shit,” I snapped, standing up, zipping up my shorts and straightening out my clothes as I headed to the door. “Who is it?”
“It's me!”
“Me who?” I asked, while looking through the peephole.
“It's me, Bart, Blu' is ya momma home?”
“She could be, she could be not,” I said smartly as I opened the door.
“I need another cutie,” he said stepping in, closing the door behind him.
“Well damn, come on in,” I said, sarcastically.
“Where ya momma at?” Bart asked, looking around. I didn't think nothin' of it 'cause that's what he did every time he came over.
“I don't know.” I frowned. One thing I couldn't stand was a nosey-ass nigga.
“You workin' for her tonight?” he asked, desperately.
“Yeah, why?”
“I told you why when I came in. I need another cutie,” he said, smartly.
“Hold on, I'll be right back,” I said, rolling my eyes as I turned to walk away to get this nigga's dope so he could get his smart mouth ass out my house. I walked into the kitchen, reached down, opened up the cabinet and just when I was about to reach for the Epsom salt box, I felt a piece of cold steel pressed up against my temple.
“Hand it over,” he demanded.
I couldn't believe what was happening. This nigga must have lost what little mind he had left to be robbing Stacey aka my momma.
“Hurry up,” he said, looking around.
I pulled the Epsom salt box from underneath the cabinet and handed it to him.
“Where's the rest of the dope and money?” he asked, snatching the box out of my hand.
“This is it,” I said, nervously. I was scared as fuck, but I wasn't about to let Bart know.
“Bitch, please, I know Stacey got more than this around this house!” Bart began rambling through the kitchen cabinets, pulling shit out, opening up canisters on the counter, dumping sugar and flour everywhere; he even had the audacity to look in the freezer to see if there was anything in there he could take.
“I told you it wasn't nothin' else here. You got it all,” I said.
“Where the money at?” he asked, checking my pockets.
“Bart, are you sure you really wanna rob my mom?” I asked, giving him a chance to rethink what he was doing.
“Shut the fuck up, I ain't thinkin' about yo' momma! It serves her right, she don't got no business havin' no little-ass kid sellin' dope for her no way!” he snapped.
In a way what Bart was saying was true, but that still didn't give him no reason to be taking my momma's shit.
“Now where the money at?” he asked again while pointing his gun at me.
“In the livin' room,” I replied, sullenly, knowing I was in a no-win situation.
“Let's go get it,” he replied, waving the gun to the side.
As we walked into the living room, I tried to come up with a game plan, but my mind wasn't working at the present moment. I bent over and reached for the lockbox that I had underneath the couch.
“Ummmp, ummmp, ummmp,” I heard Bart say.
I grabbed the box of money and quickly stood up. The look in Bart's eyes as I handed him the box told me that he wasn't about to leave right away. I had no choice but to try to get him up outta the house. I had to think and quick.
“All right, Bart, you got the dope and the money now you can leave,” I said, hoping he followed my directive.
“Naw, not yet,” he replied while looking me up and down.
“There's nothin' left to get,” I pleaded.
“Yes, there is.”
“What?” I quickly snapped.
“You 'bouta find out. Let's go,” he said, grabbing me by my arm, pulling me down the hallway.
“What you 'bout to do to me?” I asked, afraid as he shoved me into my mom's room.
“You 'bouta find out. Take ya clothes off,” he said in a demanding tone.
“No, I'm not!”
“Take ya fuckin' clothes off like I said,” Bart yelled, while pointing his gun at me.
I did what I was told. I slowly began taking off my clothes. “My mom will be here any minute,” I said, hoping Bart would get scared and leave.
“No, she won't,” he replied, uncaringly.
“Yes, she will be,” I said, hoping I could convince him to believe me. “She only ran to the store to get some milk and cigarettes.”
“No, she won't be. I ran into her in the hallway and she told me she was goin' out with Mari and Stella's drunk-ass. So I know she won't be home for a while. And before you get to lyin' about Miguel, his ass at Nikki's house passed out on her couch drunk as hell.” Bart smirked.
What the fuck?
I thought as I stood in the middle of my mom's room completely naked.
“Oh, wee, I'm 'bouta fuck the shit outta this little pussy,” Bart said, setting the dope and money down on the floor. He began undoing his pants with one hand while still holding on to his gun with the other.
I looked at Bart and wanted to throw up. Everything on him was dirty. His shirt and pants looked as if he'd washed them in mud. And we not even gon' talk about his filthy drawers; they were a brownish yellow and holier than T.D. Jakes.
“Have you ever had sex wit' a grown man before?” he asked me.
“I'm only sixteen! I've never had sex before,” I answered, hoping that would change his mind about raping me.
“Well you won't be able to say that after tonight,” he said making his way toward me.
With his pants and drawers around his ankles, Bart shuffled over to me with his small penis fully erect and began rubbing his calloused hand across my breast. The look on my face must have let him know that he disgusted me. I glanced down at the gun; his eyes followed mines. He then grabbed me by arms and threw me on my mom's bed. I knew what was about to happen next, but I wasn't about to let it happen without putting up a fight. He must have read my mind because just when I was about to start kicking and screaming he cocked the hammer back on his gun.
“Scream and I'll shoot yo' ass,” he warned.
Momma didn't raise no fool and besides, the look on his face let me know that he wasn't playing. He got in the bed and tried to climb on top of me. I kept my legs closed tight as I could, but Bart overpowered me and forced them open.
“Please no, Bart,” I begged as tears filled my eyes.
“It's only gon' take a minute, just relax,” he said as he guided his small penis into the opening of my virgin pussy and forced it in.
“Stop, it hurts,” I screamed as tears of pain rolled down the side of my face. “Please, get off me!”
“In a minute,” Bart moaned before trying to stick his tongue in my mouth to keep me quiet.
I quickly turned my head. This nigga would have to kill me before I let him stick his tongue in my mouth. It was bad enough he was running up in me raw. I most definitely had to go get tested after this. Bart breathed heavily as he quickly pumped in and out of me. After a few minutes the pain eased and I just closed my eyes and waited for him to finish. A couple seconds later, Bart busted a nut before collapsing on top of me; he breathed heavily blowing his hot breath on my neck. After catching his breath, he rolled off me and climbed out of bed. He wiped the sweat off his face and pulled up his clothes. He then grabbed the money and dope off the floor before walking out of my momma's room without saying a word.