Preaching to the Choir (4 page)

              While he was gone, Alana kept the house clean and when she got bored, which was often, she went out shopping with the money Michael left her. When Michael returned home 2 nights before her graduation, he was furious with her. Not understanding why, Alana became upset. Seeing he had scared her with his ranting and raving, Michael calmly explained he didn't want her leaving the house without him, making her believe it was dangerous. Alana agreed to his terms, but not before saying he should never yell like that again.

              As he watched Alana pout on the couch with her arms folded wearing a ponytail and boy shorts, Michael became turned on. Alana was so innocent, and that's what he liked. Her tiny frame and big eyes only added to her virgin image. He decided to try his luck.

              "Hey baby, I didn't mean to yell like that...you forgive me don't you?" he said, sitting on the couch next to her and pulling her onto his lap.

              "Don't ever yell at me Michael...I don't let my own parents yell at me!"

              She was such a brat.

              "Baby, I said sorry. Don't be like that, ma." He kissed her lips and moved on top of her. Alana realized that Michael was trying to go further then she was ready for, so she got up.

              "Mike, I'm not trying to go there with you right now, for real." She got up and went to the kitchen.

              Michael sat there for a moment, letting her words sink in. He then got up and went into the kitchen. He grabbed Alana and threw her to the floor. She sat there, stunned. He then climbed on top of her and ripped her panties from her body. Alana became frightened and begged Michael to stop. When he wouldn't, she insisted he at least put a condom on so she wouldn't get pregnant. But Michael wasn't listening. He invaded her most sacred place with an almost animalistic rage. The pain blinded Alana intensely, causing her to faint momentarily.

              When she woke up, she was sitting in her own blood on the floor, alone. She hugged her knees and cried, feeling so hurt. How could the man she loved do this to her? They were supposed to get married first, and move away to start a family. Michael had flipped on her so quickly and went from the sweet, respectful man she fell in love with, to a complete monster. Alana wept as she stood on shaky knees and began cleaning up the mess. Just as she finished, Michael walked in. She dropped the mop and backed away. For the first time, she was terrified of his presence.

              As he came towards her, she let out a small cry of fear. Surprisingly, he embraced Alana with the love and kindness she was familiar with. No words were said as he kissed her lips and then carried her up to the bathroom. After turning on the water, Michael undressed Alana and kissed her forehead, telling her how much he loved her. Then he placed her in the tub, pouring a capful of bubble bath into the steaming water. Michael massaged Alana’s tense muscles, washing her young body intimately.

              After refreshing her mind and body, Michael pulled her out of her heavenly bath and into his robe. Looking at her pouted lips, Michael had to smile. She was just so cute.

              “Baby stop all that poutin'. Daddy loves you. You mean the world to me Alana, and I don't ever want to lose you. Look what I got you..." He said as he placed an icy diamond and platinum choker around her neck.

              Alana admired how it sparkled when the light hit it. With a kiss on the cheek, Michael slid one of his t-shirts over her head and told her to get some rest, and that he'd be back in the morning. Alana lay across the king-size bed that Michael so rarely shared with her and cried. The physical pain was gone, but the mental pain was still there. As she removed the necklace and placed it amongst her other beautiful bribe jewelry, she began to wish her mom could be there just then to hold her. Alana crawled to the edge of the bed and picked up the phone. She pressed *67 and dialed her mom's number. When she heard her mom's voice on the other end, Alana hung up and melted into the bed, crying out loud for her mom.

              Michael didn't return in the morning as he promised. In fact, he didn't return home for the next 2 mornings. Alana angrily began getting ready for her graduation, wondering where the hell her boyfriend was. As she sat at her dressing table applying make-up, Michael walked in, smelling like liquor and weed. She seen him staring at her but she ignored him, now curling her hair.

              "You look nice." he said, slurring.

              Alana turned around in the chair.

              "I thought you didn't drink? OR smoke?"

              "I don't baby. I'm high on LIFE..." he said, laughing drunkenly.

              "Oh God...you're not wearing that are you?" she said, ignoring his reply and appearing disgusted. Michael had on a Buffy the Body shirt, jeans and Timbs. "When’s the last time you even showered?"

              "For yo information, smartass, I showered at my other bitch's house!"

              Alana sighed, continuing to get ready.

              "Yo, Alana, I was just playin ma...just hurry up so we can get this over with aiight?"

              Alana rolled her eyes and said ok. When they pulled up at her school, Michael stopped her when she went to get out of the car.

              "When we go in here, just get yo diploma, don't talk to anybody. You know yo parents might be here, don't talk to em aiight?"

              The polite, articulateness he once had spoken with was gone. Alana began to notice that Michael was nothing like he was when she met him, and that it was all a ploy to get her into his trap. She melted on the inside when she thought about her parents being there and her not being able to hug them or even speak to them.

              "Alana Sherelle Walker..." Alana made her way across the stage. "Alana has maintained a 4.2 Grade Point Average all year, and has had perfect attendance. She has applied and been accepted to the Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio on a full academic scholarship". The crowd went into applause.

              As Alana accepted her diploma, she looked out into the audience, quickly searching for her parents. She spotted them towards the back, and her mother mouthed "I love you". Alana nodded to let her mom know she seen her as she blinked back tears. After the ceremony, Alana’s old friends tried to get her to come with them to all the after-grad celebrations but of course she denied. Michael wasn't having it.

              He grabbed her by the waist and led her outside to the parking lot and towards the car. Just then, Alana’s mom came running outside after her. She called out her daughter's name and Alana turned around. Michael told her to keep walking, gripping her waist tightly.

              "Mommy!" Alana screamed before turning and running towards her. They embraced intensely in a hug and cried. "Mommy, I love you and I've missed you SO much..."

              Michael clenched his jaw angrily, watching the ordeal take place. He thought for a moment, and then walked over where the two stood hugging. He grabbed Alana’s head full of curls and wrapped it around his hand. He yanked her backwards and dragged her towards the car. Alana’s mom jumped on Michael's back but he easily shook her off and she fell to the ground. He continued to drag Alana until he got to the car. He threw her into the passenger side and punched her in the head.

              "Fuck!" he yelled, holding his fist, "What did I tell you Alana? You always make me do this; you must like gettin’ yo ass beat!" He then went over and helped Alana’s mom up. "Stay away from her, and don't call my damn house no more" he said, dusting off her rumpled dress.

              He then got in the car and drove off before Alana’s father made it across the parking lot. Alana sank into her seat, crying out loud for her mom.

* * *

              "It's a girl!" the cheery lady at the doctor's office said. "There's her hand, and that's her foot, and oh look, it's her--well, you know" she said, blushing.

Alana sat miserably, looking at the screen with her baby on it. Michael excitedly began to talk about all the things he was going to do with his daughter, and Alana just sat there wondering why she was even pregnant. She didn't want this kind of life. She wanted to go to school, and now she couldn't. She'd lost her scholarship. She was so lonely. She also knew that Michael wouldn't be around for his daughter, just like he wasn't around for her. Now she'd be stuck with a baby she hadn't even wanted.

              On the ride home, Alana just stared out the window, hoping Michael stayed engaged in the phone conversation he was having so she wouldn’t have to talk to him. No such luck. He hung up the phone and rubbed her thigh.

              “I’m so excited baby! Michaela Faith is on her way!” he said, smiling.

              “Excuse me? Who?” Alana said, turning to look at him.

              “The baby. Her name is Michaela Faith Matthews.”

              “No, that’s not her name. I was thinking----“SMACK!

              “Bitch, nobody asked you what you were thinking!” he yelled as Alana held her face, stunned. “Now don’t think because you’re pregnant I won’t kick yo ass like I usually do when you get out of line.”

              Alana didn’t know if she was more shocked that he had smacked her so suddenly or because he did it despite the fact she was pregnant. She knew right then that his daughter meant nothing more to him than another object to control her with.

* * *

              Alana got up to answer the door, annoyed by the fact that whoever it was had awakened her 6-week-old colicky baby girl. She swung open the door and came face-to-face with a brown skin female with big breasts and booty to match.

              "What you want?" she said evilly.

              "Michael. Is he around?" the girl said.

              "What the hell you want with him?" Alana said back.

              "Look, I'm his sister. Now is he here or not? I ain’t got all day."

              Alana grilled her.

              "No, he's not. he's out of town right now...if you were his sister like you say you are, you would know that he's always out of town." She went to slam the door and the girl stopped her.

              "Who you gettin’ smart wit?" she said.

              "Look, I don’t have time for you right now. My daughter, Michael’s daughter, is sick and I need to take care of her. Be gone!" she slammed the door angrily, tired of putting up with Michael's nonsense. Tending to Michaela, she became furious. That was the 3rd chick that showed up claiming to be his sister. Alana knew in her heart he was fucking them. Michael told her he didn’t have any sisters. As she rocked her daughter, she looked down at her engagement ring, wondering why she even bothered. All Michael did was dehumanize, control and abuse her. He wouldn't let her see her family or friends, and when she dared ask why, she was thrown down a flight of steps, despite the fact that she was 6 months pregnant at the time.

              Amazingly, her daughter survived all 9 months of her abused mother’s pregnancy without any problems. Michael made Alana feel like she couldn't do anything right. As the days went on, she became more and more miserable. The walls in which she were confined to drove her crazy. Alana never imagined her life would turn out like this. She wanted her life with Michael to be happy. She wanted them to raise his daughter together. Instead she was left alone constantly to care for her sick child on her own when she didn’t have the first clue on how to be a mother.

              Wiping away tears at the memory of how much Michael had changed, Alana pulled into the driveway of the home that had slowly turned into a prison since she’d moved into it. Michael had done everything in his power to make sure she depended on him. He was the one who persuaded her to drop out of college before classes started, promising he’d help her go back once Michaela was old enough to go to daycare. What a joke.

* * *

              As he stepped out of his lawyer’s office, Michael felt like a new man. He could almost feel the weight lifting off of his shoulders, but he had to be careful with his next move. He couldn’t risk losing everything, and knowing Milan, that’s exactly what would happen.

              “Pastor Matthews?”

              While fumbling for his car key, he heard the familiar voice from behind him. Turning around, he spotted Willie Mack, a member of the choir at the church. Though he had never confirmed it, everyone suspected Willie had more than a little sugar in his tank.

              “Hey, Willie, what’s goin’ on?” he said as Willie switched over to where he stood.

              “Not much, just heading to run some errands between clients.” He said, gesturing to the beauty salon in the plaza behind him. “Do we still have choir practice tonight?” he asked, scratching his head with one finger.

              “I’m not sure, call Tillie Mae, she should know.”

              “Okay.” He replied, still standing there.

              “Is there…something else I can do for you?”

              Willie shifted his weight, looking around as if he was afraid someone was going to hear him.

              “I kinda have somewhere to be, Willie. What’s up?” Michael said, crossing his arms.