PreHeat (Fire & Ice) (2 page)

“I'm a breast man, myself,” he said cockily as he picked up a piece. I looked over at him but he gave me an innocent look as if to say “What?” so I turned my eyes back to my own food.

We ate in relative silence, for which I was grateful. By the time we were finished I was in a state of high arousal. I could hardly believe the effect he had on me. This was not good at all, and I decided that next time he came over I was going to invite Cheryl over, as well. I needed the buffer.

“Thank you for the wonderful dinner, Juss. Now I'll be spoiled and expecting you to whip up something every time I come over.”

Oh my god, was he planning on coming by a lot? I wasn't sure I would be able to handle that since the stress of tonight was almost more than I could take. He wasn’t good for my peace of mind.

“My pleasure. Thank you for helping me out with this website stuff. I really appreciate it.” We were making our way to the door. I was trying to move him along before I put my foot in my mouth again.

“I'll have your site ready by next week, and we can do a dry run, that way we can still make changes before you go live.”

“That sounds great. I'll talk to you soon, then.” I smiled at him as he opened the front door. “Bye.”

“Goodbye Justine.” He leaned down and gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek but there was nothing chaste about the look in his eyes when he straightened back up. My mouth dried up as he turned and walked out the door and down the sidewalk. All I could do was stand there with my hand over the spot where his lips touched me. I might be in trouble.

CHAPTER TWO

I couldn't believe I was being such a chicken. Carter was currently making the final tweaks to get “Just Add Heat” live, and my stomach was all butterflies, but for two distinct reasons.

Firstly, I was anxious to see the final product on a live page. This is what I'd been waiting for. I had written seventeen articles and taken numerous pictures of food in various states of preparation over the past two weeks. I was running short on sleep and out some serious (for me) cash on groceries. I knew it would be worth it, though. I had plenty of forum members at various sites that already assured me they would visit my own site when it was ready. Carter even set up a forum for people to use. I was thrilled but also terrified. What if nobody actually clicked over, or even worse, didn't feel like hanging around? I was going to have to spend extra time coming up with fresh content and still keep my presence up at other places, at least until I was established. That part was okay; I actually enjoyed my online persona. Where I was primarily an introvert in my day to day life, online I was able to let my hair down and interact with people in ways that would have me freezing up if I was seeing them in person. It was freeing to be able to give cooking advice and share recipes virtually. Reading over some of my articles, I was discovering that I had an interesting “voice” in my writing. Anyway, that was what was responsible for my “excited” butterflies. Now, I just had to deal with my “nervous” ones.

I was embarrassed with my reactions to Carter over the last few weeks. I found myself watching him surreptitiously as well as thinking about him
way
too much. I didn't understand it. I'd known him for almost a decade, since he was a teenager, and to have these feelings for him now seemed inappropriate. Sure, he was an adult, but it didn't make up for the four year difference in our ages. I recognized my own double standard. I'd dated men four years older than myself, heck, I'd dated a man nine years my senior, it just seemed strange with the age difference reversed. I knew being a cougar was all the rage these days, but it just wasn't me. Not that it mattered. After tonight I wouldn't be seeing Carter again for probably months. With my schedule, I was lucky to be able to socialize the little bit that I did, and Cheryl wasn't giving many of her own parties since she'd gone professional with it. I tried not to let the disappointment of not seeing Carter take a foothold. It shouldn't matter, he was just a friend. Unfortunately, my mind had been wandering to him a lot, and not in a “friendly” manner.

I squashed my inner monologue and got up to start making the salad I wanted to serve with the chicken pot pie I had put together for dinner. Since Carter lived alone I had made a smaller pot pie for him to take home with him, too. I cooked it in my orange mini Le Creuset dutch oven, not realizing at the time that I wouldn't be seeing him next week, but he had told me that I would be going live tonight, so I was going to have to tell Cheryl to get that back for me.

I pulled the bag of spring mix and cucumber I had gotten from this morning's foray to the farmer's market and proceeded to assemble my salad. When I heard Carter behind me I jumped. “Geez, Carter, you scared me.” He hadn't, not really, but since he made me nervous I decided that it counted. “The food is just about ready. How's it going in there?”

“All done. You obviously need to check it over before it goes live, but I've done everything we talked about. It looks great.”

“I'm so excited. I can't thank you enough for this, Carter. I could never have gotten this done without you.”

“It was my pleasure. The food has been well worth it. I'm going to miss these home cooked meals.” Okay, so I might have dropped off a batch of cheese enchiladas and a pot of gumbo, on my way to work the other day, but I had made them for posts, and it wasn't like I could eat it all. And it made me feel good knowing that he was going to enjoy eating it. So sue me. I couldn't help the flush of pleasure his words brought me, though, so I turned back to my salad.

“So I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me?”

It took a second to process what he was saying, but almost immediately my heart started pounding. Had he been thinking the same things as I had? “Go out?”

“Yeah, you know, to dinner or something.”

Oh crap. I hadn't been expecting this, but even though I knew I would turn him down, a sliver of excitement was trying to blast through my automatic refusal. Still, I tried to formulate a gentle way to say it without hurting his feelings. “Um. Well, I work most nights.”

“I know. I was thinking maybe next Monday. I'm finished with your site and I know Mondays are your off days. I thought that instead of you having to cook we could go out. Then, maybe we could catch a movie or whatever.”

It didn't sound like more than a friendly outing, one like I'd had countless times with Cheryl. “Just you and me?” When he nodded I decided to ask, just to be clear. “You mean a date?”

“Well, yeah.”

He
was
asking me out. It was good and bad in equal measure. The truth was that I would actually have enjoyed spending another evening with him without the excuse of the website, and if he was as anyone else, I'd have agreed. Unfortunately, he was Carter, and that made things impossible. “I don't know, Carter. That would be kind of weird, you know?” That was the mother of all understatements.

“Why would it be weird? We've known each other for years. We've been spending every Monday evening together for three weeks and there hasn't been any awkwardness.”

“That's not the same as a date. You're Cheryl's brother. That
is
making things awkward. Plus, I'm too old for you.”

“You're not too old for me Justine, that's ridiculous. We're not in high school. We're both adults. I really like you.”

“Carter, don't take this the wrong way, but you're too young for me.” There. I said it, but seeing his expression go from excited to gloomy made me feel like a soul crusher. I don't know what imp on my shoulder made me speak, but I heard myself blurting, “I really like you, too, though.”

“Alright, let's take age out of the equation for a minute. We like each other and we know we get along. What harm could there be in going out for a friendly date and seeing where things might go from there?”

“What about Cheryl?” I had to point out the obvious.

“What about her?”

I wanted to shout “Duh, she'd flip out,” but instead I tried to be reasonable. “Don't be dense. She would not be cool with it.” Not only that, but I couldn't imagine facing Cheryl's parents, Sharon and Robert, if they ever found out I had gone on a date with their son. They probably wouldn't say anything to my face, but the weirdness would be there forevermore. I busied myself by pulling out the pot pies. It gave me a much needed break of eye contact. “I'm sorry, Carter.”

His eyes seemed to dull, though they were still a vivid and gorgeous green. Dammit. Why did I have to find him so appealing? He was smart and polite, sweet to Lucy, and freakishly hot.

“What if we stayed in? I'll even cook for you.”

It was like a switch flipped in my head. Why the heck not give it an evening? If nothing came of it, so be it, but spending time in his company was certainly no hardship. I had been looking forward to tonight all week, mainly because I knew I'd be seeing him. I could at least admit that to myself.

“I'll cook.” I felt a blush creeping up.

“Great.”

“Okay, next Monday we can have some dinner and take it from there. Now, I have to finish the salad.” I turned away from him and back to my bowl of greens to give myself a chance to calm down. I suddenly felt shy, which was stupid. I was an adult woman, and I had just been asked out by an attractive man. There were only good things that could come out of this. I just needed to keep telling myself that.

***

I leaned back in my bathtub and let out my breath in a whoosh. Carter had just left after our first kind of official date. I'd had such a good time it was almost criminal. He had helped me make asparagus risotto, which I took copious pictures of during the entire process, and then we had played a truncated game of Monopoly. I had decided to quit when it was obvious that I was going to lose, but luckily, he was a good sport about it and we ended up polishing off a bottle of Chardonnay and kissing on the couch.

Oh. My. God. That man could pack a wallop with his mouth. I put my fingers to my lips because just thinking about it was causing them to tingle. Even more shiver inducing was the knowledge that he wanted to see me again. I was relieved because the more time I spent with him the more I liked him. I was trying hard not to think of him as Cheryl's brother, but as just a man. But he wasn't
just
any man, he was Carter.
What was I doing?
How could this possibly end well? I couldn't even call Cheryl to tell her about my awesome night. That alone should tell me that this wasn't cool, but I didn't care. I had just had a fantastic evening. This was going to have to be something that was between Carter and me, only. It almost felt a little bit dirty, this clandestine meeting tonight and our upcoming date, and it only made things more exciting.

***

“How’s my favorite chef tonight?” Carter’s voice gave me the same jolt it did every night when he called me.

“Tired. About to go to bed,” I told him as I booted up my laptop and settled under the covers.

“I’m picturing you in a tight halter top and some Daisy Dukes. How close am I?”

I laughed. He couldn’t be more wrong. “Sorry. Baggy tee shirt and men’s flannel boxers from Target.”

“Nope. I’m not going to let you ruin my fantasy, and because you tried, your top just got even skimpier. You should quit while you’re ahead.”

“Pervert.”

“You can’t even imagine.”

I clicked on my site, my new favorite ritual. “Ooh! I got four comments on the shrimp gumbo,” I told him excitedly. He had set me up so that new posts would go up automatically a couple times a week.

“Yeah, I saw that. You also got 116 views after it went up. Good job.”

I felt myself glow under the compliment. “Thanks. What are you doing?”

“Channel surfing. Before that I made a grilled cheese. I’ve been trying to take it easy tonight, I went to the driving range with Dad and I think I strained my shoulder.”

“What did your dad say about it?”

“I didn’t tell him. He was already wiping the floor with me.”

“That’s so stupid. He’s a doctor. That’s the first thing I would have done.”
Boys
. Suddenly, another thought hit me. “Do you want to cancel tomorrow?”

“What? No, of course not.” I felt a rush of relief that he wasn’t looking to break our plans. We were going to stand on the bridge and watch the bats fly out right before dark. It was kind of a touristy thing, but it was still super cool to see. I didn’t like it quite so much when the same bats were practically dive bombing me in the back yard, however.

He let out a loud yawn. I forgot he had to get up early for work.

“I’ll let you get to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Sweet dreams.” Oh yeah, I’d be having some of those. I hung up my phone and leaned back onto my pillows. Talking with Carter had been the highlight of my nights for the last six days. We hadn't been able to see each other at all since our schedules were completely at odds and I actually missed him. Our nightly conversations had been great. I'd been able to get to know him without the pressure I usually felt during the early stages of a new relationship. I'd found myself enjoying his sense of humor and his intelligent insights on everything from why he drove an American truck to his thoughts on organic gardening. I
liked
him

Last night our conversation had gotten a bit racy and we'd been right on the cusp of having phone sex when he switched the topic to my website. Just Add Heat was doing okay for a site only two weeks old, but it didn't have much of a following and I was still disappointed that I wasn't an overnight sensation. Carter had suggested doing more video demonstrations instead of photographic ones, and what he said made sense, but I barely had the time to take care of the things I was doing now, and adding another item on my to-do list didn't seem like a wise idea, but I was going to give it some serious thought.

I looked at my bedside clock—it was tomorrow! Only a few more hours and I'd be able to see him in person. I turned off my lamp and closed my eyes with a huge smile on my face. I wasn't going to worry about a thing; not my over-scheduled life, my shrinking bank balance, and definitely not any doubts I still harbored about going out with Carter.