Pretend Mom (15 page)

"Why not?"

"I didn't want money I hadn't earned.
I'm not a performer. I didn't want to endorse things I didn't
believe in. It's all a pretty phony racket. I tried it. I just
couldn't go through with it. I made enough in football to keep
Amanda and me comfortable the rest of our life. I invested well,
thanks to a good friend's advice."

"Yeah, I've started investing mine too.
Not much, but a little."

He nodded. "My dad was bad by then;
someone had to run the place. I had to make a choice. I wasn't
about to quit working just because I had enough money to retire.
Kevin wasn't interested in farming. By then he was nearly out of
college with a degree in political science. Someone had to work the
farm—or let it go."

"You don't sound as though you wanted
to be a rancher either."

He leaned back in the chair and folded
his arms across his chest, his eyes searching hers. "I didn't. I
wanted to be a vet."

"A vet? Then why …"

"I married Connie my first year in
college. She wanted me to try the big leagues—said I was too good
for college football. She believed we could have the good life if I
played professional. Then, later, Dad was sick for two years before
he died, and I had Amanda. I hadn't seen the direction I was going
until it was too late. I had already quit school, my dented pride
kept me from going back, and then I got banged up, and moved home,
took care of dad until he died, and took over the ranch. I didn't
have the heart to sell out, like Kevin suggested. Dad worked so
hard all his life for our place—I couldn't just get rid of it. It
would have been like throwing his life away, you know?"

Dixie nodded with understanding.
"Anyway," Mike continued, "I could take care of my own animals. I
liked that idea. So, I stayed and ranched. It's been a decent
living. I like having a home, knowing all the people, and bringing
Amanda up in a small community."

So unlike New York, Dixie thought
sadly. "I never knew. You never told me much about yourself, Mike.
You and Kevin aren't very close though, are you?"

"We were once."

"What happened?"

"Better left unsaid."

"Oh. I didn't mean to pry. So, why
haven't you remarried, Mike? I mean …" She felt herself blush. It
was none of her business, but she wanted to know. "You seem so fond
of family life. You're a wonderful father to Amanda. She adores
you. But it must have been hard all alone. I hear Kevin has a nice
family."

"So, now you know about Kevin and his
family? I suppose Emily told you. I know it probably hurts, but
June is a nice gal, just right for Kevin, if you'll excuse me
saying so. You'll see it, when you meet her. But as for me, let's
just say I'm still shopping around. Most women don't want a
ready-made family. I could ask the same of you, Dixie. Why haven't
you married?"

"I guess I just don't have the time.
Okay, I'll change the subject." She smiled coyly. "You obviously
don't want to talk about it. Anyway, I'm happy for you and
Janet."

"Me and Janet?" He slanted her a
questioning look as the look in his eyes devoured her.

A man shouldn't look that way at a girl
unless he has serious intentions, Dixie decided.

"Janet's a bore, and you and I both
know it. She's a leech. I can't get rid of her. Amanda doesn't even
like her. Granted, she's easy on the eyes, but everyone around here
seems to think I'm going to marry her. That's the one thing about
small towns that can be upsetting. They tend to pair people off,
whether they're right for each other or not. I tolerate Janet; even
indulge her. I have no intention to marry her, though. I like her
as a person, but I'd never marry her. And she knows it."

"So, you refuse to do the right thing
by her." Feeling the effects of the whiskey, Dixie
giggled.

"Why should I? I haven't compromised
her."

He hadn't touched her! Dixie was elated
at the revelation.

"Now, turn about is fair play," Mike
said with a devilish gleam in his eye. "If marrying your boss would
be a step up in your career, why haven't you done it? I mean, your
career seems to be your number one priority."

"I don't know if it would be a step up
or not. It would simply be convenient. He's asked me. But marriage
is an important step. I'm not about to leap into anything with my
eyes closed."

"So?"

"Politically, it would be a good—" She
stopped abruptly when she saw the furious look on Mike's
face.

"Politically? I asked you if you love
him."

"You didn't ask that. Love's not the
main issue. We have a lot in common—our work—"

The fury in Mike's features was
becoming even more evident now. Tawny gold eyes darkened, and
blazed into hers. "Is that career of yours all you ever think
about? Don't you ever . . ." He closed the gap between them
suddenly, looked deeply into her eyes and said, "think about this .
. ."

And then he did it! He kissed her! Just
like that. Right out of the blue. And it wasn't just a peck on the
cheek, not just a feather touch of his lips against hers. No, he
kissed her. He brought new meaning to the word.

Dixie reeled at his touch. Lips that
spoke harshly one minute turned to soft putty, as they mingled,
lifted, until she was dizzy with wanting him to explore further
into the unknown. He whetted her appetite and made her want more.
Maybe it was the whiskey, maybe it wasn't, but the kiss was
thorough, and Dixie lost herself in it. She opened her mouth just a
fraction and let the taste of him in. A sweet taste. Like
chocolate—addictive!

Drained of all energy, the kiss seemed
to ignite her whole body, torching every part of her being. Never
had a kiss stolen her mind, and heart so completely. It seemed to
reach the depths of her soul and pull at her
heartstrings.

Mike's passion made her come alive with
feelings and emotions she'd squelched long ago. Then, slowly, he
raised his head, a smile replacing the anger that was there
earlier.

"Don't look at me like that, Dixie."
His voice was a breathless whisper. "Like you don't want me to
stop. I haven't got much control. I've waited too long to do that.
Years too long. No reprimands. What I feel inside right now is one
thing, what I think, another. I may not get along with Kevin. I may
think you two are wrong for each other, but I won't have you until
you are sure he's gone from your life. And you haven't found that
out yet. It worries me that you've waited so long to find it out. I
thought it might be Ed. But that's not it either. But until you do
know how you really feel, I won't touch you."

"Mike, I—"

"Hush now," he cajoled, holding her
head between his hands and staring down into her flushed face.
"Your voice is weak. You're exhausted, whether you know it or not.
Save your strength. I'm taking advantage, and I know it. We'll talk
again, later. It was only a kiss, one kiss. It won't change things,
I know. I don't expect it to."

Didn't change things! How could he say
that? No one had ever kissed her so thoroughly, so lovingly. She
felt an immediate bonding with this man, like a delicate thread now
held them together. A tiny thread, so fragile it might break. Maybe
he was right. Maybe she shouldn't try to read too much into it. She
certainly wasn't an authority on kissing.

Then he was gone, and she fell into the
most peaceful sleep she had in years.

***

The next morning brought all sorts of
changes.

"Bernie asked me to marry him last
night at the bazaar." Her mother was staring at the three of them,
focusing mostly on Dixie, as they sat speechless around the
breakfast table.

"I'm seriously considering it, but I
wanted to talk to the three of you, first. Together, as a family.
So, what do you think?" She tried to sound casual about it, but a
worry wrinkle gave her away.

Dixie glanced from Tom to Will, a slow
smile invading her face as the boys both snickered. They all
chimed, "We think it's about time … when?"

Emily grabbed her heart, as though not
believing what she heard. "Oh, but this is such a serious step. I
wanted you all to think about it for a while before I gave my
answer."

Tom smirked. "We've thought about it
for a long time, Mom. In fact," he glanced at the others, "we've
been thinkin' of as many reasons as we could to get the two of you
alone together. Haven't you noticed? Gosh, what more can we say?
Will and I are both for havin' another man around the house. We've
been out-numbered too long already. Besides, well, we really like
Bernie. We know Dad liked him, too. So it's unanimous. The question
is—does he like us?"

Emily looked at them, amazed. "Like
you? Why, he thinks you are the nicest kids he's ever met, and
would love to make a family out of us. I'm the one hesitating.
After all, I don't want to push my family into something they
aren't ready for. And then there are our ages to consider. Bernie
and I aren't exactly spring chickens anymore."

"Then what's to stop you? Not us! And
we don't think you or Bernie are old," Tom and Will chimed
in.

Emily was speechless, her eyes widening
in surprise and disbelief.

"I know what you're thinking, they're
both impossible," Dixie said. "You're right, they are. But you've
got to admit their hearts are in the right place. You better marry
poor Bernie before the boys do something more drastic. You know how
they are. They've already gone to extreme lengths to throw the two
of you together."

Emily looked blankly at Dixie, the
worry wrinkle still furrowing her brow. "I don't know why I'm so
worried. Perhaps it's me. I'm a little old fashioned and maybe too
old for remarriage. It might seem simple to you, but there are
things to consider."

"Like what, Mom?" Dixie
asked.

"Bernie wants us to live with him, in
his house. It's way out in the country, miles from town. Him being
the man and provider, that's his choice. I'd hate to move out of
this house, I've loved it here. But it does hold a lot of memories,
too—some bittersweet. It's only right to let Bernie decide where
we'll live. I'm still old-fashioned enough to allow the man to be a
man. That being the case, I've decided if I do marry him, it's only
fitting for you, as the first born, to have this house, Dixie.
After all, as your Uncle pointed out, it was Johnson land first,
and you're a Johnson, too. Bernie has already promised me that if
we do it that way, he'll make sure the boys are provided for,
too."

Emily's comments took Dixie by
surprise. A house! That could really complicate her life. She loved
this house, but what could she do with it when she'd be so many
miles away? She hadn't planned on staying. Perhaps that's what
Emily hoped for all along, for Dixie to stay here. She searched her
mother's face and read the story behind it. They all wanted her
home! They hadn't been able to come out and say it, but they
did.

"Let's worry about all the details
later, Mom," Dixie said, forcing the issue to the back of her mind.
She wasn't about to spoil this moment with added problems. She'd
decide about the house later.

Emily's eyes misted. "I'd like a very
quiet wedding. Just the family and, of course, Mike and Mandy. I
want Mike to give me away, or at least walk down the aisle with me,
to hold me up. I need a strong arm to lean on. I want Dixie as my
maid of honor. And, of course, you boys will be in the wedding too.
Just stand up there with me, and keep me calm."

Everyone gathered around her, kissing
her and telling her how happy they were.

Later that evening, Dixie helped Emily
prepare supper.

"I've invited your Uncle Paul over. I
want to tell him, to his face, that this house is going to be
yours. I want no fighting. At least he should be glad that a
Johnson girl will have it."

"Do you think this is wise?"

"I don't know. But at least I won't
have done anything behind his back, dear. And even if you decide
not to live here, at least it will be in your name and he can't
bother me and the boys about it any longer, and you'll be in New
York—or will you?"

Dixie patted Emily on the arm. "Yes,
I'm afraid so. I wish I could stay, Mom. I've enjoyed being home,
you don't know how much, but I've got a job there. A good job,
that's taken me a long time to work up to. I like my work, love it.
I have to go back, for a while at least. I wish I knew what to do
about the house. Maybe I could talk to Uncle Paul about
it."

"Not to worry. I'll look after things
for you until you decide. But I like knowing you have a place to
come home to, if you decide to."

"It's so sweet of you, Mom. I just
don't see how I can handle it, though. What if I was to sell it to
Uncle Paul? Would you be hurt?"

"Sell it to Paul? Well, of course it is
your choice, but I guess I was hoping you might someday move home,
for good. I suppose I had a selfish motive for doing it. I want you
home again. I've missed your company so much."

"Oh, Mom," Dixie said as she grabbed
Emily and hugged her. A tear slid down Dixie's cheek as emotion
overcame her. Emily finally verbalized what they'd all been
thinking—what she'd begun to think. She glanced at Emily. "So, did
you accept Bernie's proposal last night?"