Pretenders (29 page)
Authors: Lisi Harrison
You know the expression “It takes a village”? Well, this is where I’m supposed to thank the members of my village for helping me bring this novel to life. But in this particular case, there was no village. I am 100 percent responsible for the making of
Pretenders
. I didn’t need anyone or anything. Not even a fancy machine to print the books. I typed every copy myself. I illustrated millions of covers, and I corrected my own grammatical errors. I negotiated the deal; I was my own assistant. I drove the eighteen-wheelers that delivered the books to the stores, and then I stocked the shelves while you slept.
You’re welcome.
(If I were a Pretender.)
But I’m not. So keep reading, please.
I’m far too grateful to the following villagers to have pulled that off. Here’s why:
My editor, Erin Stein: She let me pitch this over the phone, which was huge because I can’t stand writing up my ideas. I didn’t know who the characters were, but she trusted me and told me to go for it. I did. Then she helped me make it so much better. TPTPTP!
Copy master: Barbara Bakowski. This woman IS the English language.
Design: Liz Casal, Sasha Illingworth, and David Caplan
Marketing: Andrew Smith and Mara Lander
PR: Melanie Chang and Kristina Aven
My agent Richard Abate: Brilliant adviser. Fierce negotiator. Loyal friend. Incredible hair. FUPM.
His assistant, Melissa Kahn: She always has the answers.
My fancy LA attorney, Alex Kohner: We laugh. We cry. I sign. Thank you for always caring.
His associate Logan Clare: Smart. Funny. Best voice ever.
My editorial assistant, Alisha Maddocks: Alisha refers to herself as my “office elf,” but no elf could do what this girl does. (That’s right, Santa, I said it.) I am endlessly grateful for all she does and everything she teaches me. She has incredible hair, too.
Gorjana and Vanessa S. from gorjana & griffin, for helping me create the real SWAP. Want one? www.gorjana-griffin.com. And to my amazing friend Mary Beth Pugh, for bringing us together.
JJ Hutcheon, for reading—and finishing—my first draft. SOL.
Candace Brokenshire: She always finds my air.
The Fugate girls: Christine, Caterina, and Sara—my Laguna Beach focus group.
Nick Alexander Imports BMW and MINI: Thanks for advising me on all things BMW-related. (Can I please have a MINI now?)
The regulars on LisiHarrison.com: Thank you for always showing up.
Immeasurable amounts of gratitude go to Kevy, Luke, Jess, and Bee-Bee. You are my heart. To Mom and Dad. To the Gottliebs, Coopers, and Harrisons. And to my amazing friends. Thanks to each one of you for letting me slip into the cone of silence. You let me go and you welcome me back. Thirty-one times and counting…
I’m off to write book two. Monkey paws, don’t fail me now.
Monster High
Monster High: The Ghoul Next Door
Monster High: Where There’s a Wolf, There’s a Way
Monster High: Back and Deader Than Ever
Alphas
Movers and Fakers
Belle of the Brawl
Top of the Feud Chain
The Clique
Best Friends for Never
Revenge of the Wannabes
Invasion of the Boy Snatchers
The Pretty Committee Strikes Back
Dial L for Loser
It’s Not Easy Being Mean
Sealed with a Diss
Bratfest at Tiffany’s
The Clique Summer Collection
P.S. I Loathe You
Boys R Us
Charmed and Dangerous: The Rise of the Pretty Committee
The Cliquetionary
These Boots Are Made for Stalking
My Little Phony
A Tale of Two Pretties
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1
That was a sentence fragment. I will leave it because Ms. Silver told us to ignore grammar. Please don’t penalize me.
2
Pronounced Shar-low. It’s my mother’s maiden name. It’s Creole, based largely on 18th-to-21st-century French.
3
Simile.
4
Circa 1983, when she won Miss America (except my hair is shoulder-length, clavicle-length when wet or flat-ironed).
5
I currently have 159 awards. (Complete list available upon request.) I have served as student council president for three consecutive years. I was captain of the eighth-grade track-and-field team. I have been a Girl Scout for seven years. I have never received a grade lower than A.
6
Latin for “truth.”
7
I just took a pause. I’m starting to fatigue from the surge of heavy emotions gathering in my hands.
8
A.J. failed eleventh grade and has to repeat it this year. He’s always getting suspended and he’s really disrespectful to Mom and Dad. The only things he cares about are cars. So they never let him drive one.
9
Best tempura! The same rule applies to A.J., only he’s never won anything. So it’s all on me.
10
Inspirational quotes are my caffeine. Same with caramel lattes from Starbucks.
11
Sentences like this make me wish this journal were being graded.
12
I do this while eating arrowroot cookies and sipping chamomile tea. Yum.
13
… and keep from scratching.
14
She is the concierge at The Lux, a five-star hotel in Manhattan.
15
Sounds boring, but he loves that stuff.
16
He owes my parents $800.00 for trashing the side-view mirror on the Audi. He’s not allowed to use their car until his debt is paid. The guy is obsessed with driving, so it’s killing him.
17
I entered the Girl Scouts’ Young Women of Distinction contest. First place: Gold Award! Super prestigious. My entry is a Sealed With A Promise, or SWAP, bracelet with an envelope charm. You open the flap and whisper a personal message to yourself, then seal it shut. If you want to change it, just open the flap to let out the old one and whisper something new. The bracelets are made by Haitian orphans. All proceeds go to their orphanage. I got the sample on Saturday. I’ll take orders Monday.
18
Lucky me.
19
60 Minutes
did a story about people who could remember every single detail from their past. The host would name a random date from twenty years ago and they would tell him exactly what they wore, ate, and did that day. At first, I thought it was the most enviable thing imaginable. Then I realized if I had it I’d remember every fight my family ever had. And that would make me itch more than I already do.
20
Living for it.
21
As of 1:14 PM today I am sold out of SWAP bracelets. Haiti is going to be so excited.
22
Overachieving mode.
23
They want to.
24
Love that phrase. Ugh. Why isn’t this journal being graded?
25
The journal came in a FemFresh case.
26
No. I did not make that up. My track coach’s last name is actually Speedman.
27
Way worse.
28
Not that I care. I have to focus on my work. It’s just nice to know he doesn’t like
her
.
29
Love the image of Blake’s eyes as the moon eclipsing my rational thoughts. So poetic.
30
I “accidentally” took Lily’s paper so I could pass it off as my own. I needed a Benihana night. Don’t judge.
31
Referring to switching quizzes with the BP—“Before” Picture.
32
It’s possible she did this to take me down and eliminate her competition. Must keep an eye on her. Friends close, enemies closer kind of thing.
33
Wikipedia.
34
And assumed he was on drugs.
35
No fighting.
36
Googled “what boys look for in a girl?” Sense of humor is key.
37
Massive understatement.
38
I am not going to call her a “Before” picture anymore. We had fun today. Do I still suspect she may be trying to sabotage my GPA? Yes. So I will watch her closely.
39
… anymore. (See above footnote for further explanation.)
40
Seriously, sentences like this should be graded.
41
Another great metaphor.
42
Another winner!
43
… Yet.
44
In this case, “offer” means “dare.”
45
Not his greatest work. But effective nonetheless.
46
I can’t believe I just wrote that. I can’t believe it’s true.
47
I know there are Haitian orphans and even some local ones who have it a lot worse than me. Which only made me feel worse than ever.
48
Writing “unequivocally” makes me feel unequivocally smart.
49
“Emotional Ozone”—good name for a poem!
50
Mom says feelings are more reliable than thoughts. I should have listened.
51
Does she know what I did?
52
Two napkins and a spoon.
53
His breath smelled like coffee.
54
Another great line. And yes, I’m bragging because I deserve to. I was under a ton of pressure when I came up with that.
55
Hello, Principal’s Award.
56
These words may seem redundant but they’re not. They are two different things and I would feel them both.
57
I did. Lily and I got our hair professionally straightened and had our makeup applied for free by the lady at the Fresh counter. I was lightly dusted, not overdone. I wore a silver long-sleeved dress and black knee-high boots from Steve Madden. Dad nearly passed out.
58
Perfect.
59
English and Creole.
60
Still angry.
61
Dressed in jeans and some
Sound of Music
top. Hardly a vintage dress, but Octavia is hardly smart so I let it go.