The only way he could tell McKinley and Whitney apart was by their personalities. Whitney was far more gentle and soft-spoken. Not to say she didn’t know how to get rowdy when necessary. Koran missed his wife terribly. Thoughts of her caused his heart to ache. He’d give anything to have her back in his arms again and to be there to see their daughter grow.
But no matter how much he wished and prayed, his prayers weren’t going to come true. Tank filled, Koran got back into the car and started the engine. On the road again, he and McKinley sat quietly. Unable to bear the silence, McKinley began to talk.
“
I’m sorry for snapping on you like that.”
“
It’s cool.”
“
No, it’s not.” She looked down at her hands. Tears were starting to slowly form in her eyes. “My life is a mess.” McKinley began to cry.
Koran looked over at her.
“
You, a’ight?” he asked, concerned.
“
No.” She wiped her eyes. “A couple of weeks ago my fiancé was killed.”
“
Damn, for real? That’s fucked up,” Koran said sincerely.
“
Tell me about it,” McKinley agreed. “I didn’t even get to go to the funeral.”
“
Why?”
“’
Cause he was married.” McKinley cried even harder.
“
What?” Koran said, shocked.
“
After he died I found out that he’d been living a double life. The whole three years we were together he had a whole wife, kids and a whole nother chick on the side and my dumbass didn’t even know it. I mean, how gullible could I possibly be? I had no clue.”
“
That’s some deep shit,” Koran said, overwhelmed by her confession.
“
Since he passed my whole life has been turned upside down. All I knew was him. He was my everything. My whole life was centered around him.”
“
Well, see, that’s where you fucked up.”
“
What?” She blew her nose on a napkin.
“
I don’t give a fuck how much you love a man; never make him your whole world. That’s where y’all females fuck up.”
“
Thanks for making me feel even worse.” McKinley chuckled.
“
My bad. I wasn’t tryin’ to be mean or nothin’. I’m just statin’ facts.” Koran shrugged.
“
If you say so.”
“
Nah, for real. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s a fucked-up feeling losing someone you love. No matter what the circumstances are,” Koran said somberly.
“
I know that shit gotta hurt,” he continued.
“
Like hell,” she agreed.
“
So that’s why you were in tears yesterday?”
“
How did you know I’d been cryin’?” McKinley asked, surprised.
“’
Cause your eyes were red and you looked like you’d lost your favorite Chanel bag or something,” Koran teased.
“
You stupid.” McKinley laughed.
“
I’m serious. I was like ‘Damn, let me go give this girl a hug before she have to be put on suicide watch’,” he teased.
“
I did look pitiful, didn’t I?” McKinley sniffled.
“
You said it. I didn’t.” Koran chuckled.
“
It’s cool. I know I did.”
“
On the real though,” Koran said, “I understand that you’re hurting now and the pain will last for a while, but eventually things will get better. One day you’re going to wake up and it’s not going to hurt as bad. The pain will go from a throbbing sensation to just a little sting.”
“
How do you know so much about mourning someone’s death?”
“
My mother died of an overdose when I was a teenager.”
“
Wow. I’m sorry,” McKinley said, flabbergasted.
“
It’s all good,” he assured.
“
Death is never good. You can say how you really feel around me.”
“
I mean, I felt abandoned, but I did what I had to do to survive.”
“
Like what?”
“
I sold dope, but a good friend of mine helped me realize that wasn’t the route to go, so I stopped.”
“
What do you do now?”
“
I own a couple of businesses back home.”
“
That’s good. Most dudes don’t ever stop. Case and point, my fiancé.”
“
Yeah, well, I had reasons outside of my control that got me out the game.” Koran thought back to Whitney’s illness and the birth of his daughter.
“
Really? What?”
“
Ay, you hungry?” Koran asked, changing the subject.
“
Always.” McKinley grinned.
“
Let’s grab something to eat. All of this talkin’ has made me hungry.”
“
Okay.” She smiled, genuinely enjoying his company.
“
I’m
here as long as you need me”
Brandy
“
All In Me”
For the next two hours McKinley and Koran laughed and talked about everything from childhood memories, favorite restaurants to their top five MC’s. On the surface, things were cool, but underlying emotions from the night before and untold details from their lives stayed stuck on pause in their throat.
“
How can you not respect Kanye?” Koran asked, amped.
“
Ever since I saw him rock a leopard-print shirt his ass been a lil suspect to me. I’m tellin’ you, that negro got
How you doing?
written all over him.” McKinley flicked her wrist.
“
Get the fuck outta here.” Koran laughed, yawning. “So what did you do for a living back in Miami?”
“
Umm,” McKinley stammered.
She couldn’t just come out and say nothing. It would make her look like a bird.
“
I was a personal shopper,” she lied.
“
That’s what’s up.” Koran nodded his head.
“
Yo, I’m gettin’ tired. I think we need to get a room for the night and start fresh in the morning.” He looked over at her. “I saw a sign for a Marriot hotel a couple of miles back, so it should be coming up soon.”
McKinley panicked. “I’ll drive. I’m not tired.”
If she had to tell Koran that she was broke on top of everything she’d revealed she’d die of embarrassment.
“
Please, you’ve been over there yawning yo’ ass off. Ain’t no way in hell I’ma let you behind this wheel,” he declared.
“
I promise you, I’m good,” McKinley protested.
“
Nah, we both need to rest. Plus, I could use a bath, so I know you got to be dying for one, too.”
“
What you tryin’ to say?” McKinley cocked her head back.
“
Fall back,” Koran laughed, getting off the highway. “I ain’t tryin’ to say nothin’. I’m sayin’ you need to wash yo’ ass,” he joked.
McKinley ignored his sarcasm. “But what if it’s a nasty Marriot with dingy carpeting and a moldy smell?”
“
Does this look like a dingy Marriot to you?” Koran asked, pulling into the parking lot.
McKinley looked up at the building. Koran was right. It was a nice hotel. The Marriot hotel in Knoxville, Tennessee was on a hilltop overlooking the Tennessee River.
Dammit
, McKinley thought. She had to find a way out of this somehow. In a last ditch effort to change Koran’s mind she said, “I really feel uneasy about this. Something in my spirit is just sayin’ this ain’t right.”
“
Chill out. Everything’s going to be fine. From the looks of it this has to be at least a four-star hotel. Now come on.” Koran got out of the car and popped the trunk.
With only one more option left McKinley grabbed her purse from the back seat of the car and got out as well. As Koran strolled into the hotel McKinley lagged behind him slowly. At the service desk Koran paid for his room.
“
Have a wonderful night, sir.” The front desk clerk smiled.
“
You, too.” Koran smiled back, taking his key.
“
You know what?” McKinley slapped her hand against her forehead. “I think I left something in the car. Let me get the keys, so I can run back and go get it.”
“
Here.” Koran tossed her the keys. “You want me to wait on you?”
“
No, go ahead up to your room. I’ll be fine,” she assured as the elevator doors opened.
“
A’ight.” Koran turned and hopped inside.
As the doors to the elevator closed McKinley let out a sigh of relief. Swiftly, she walked back to the car, got in and locked the doors. For the first time that day she’d dodged a bullet successfully. She could’ve come out and told him the truth, but the truth was that McKinley was ashamed. She was ashamed that she’d allowed herself to be put in this position. For the last three years of her life she’d enjoyed the perks of dating a rich man, only to be left with nothing but designer tags.
The only sort of achievement she’d made in life thus far was mastering the art of a sample sale. Her pride was just too strong to let Koran know that she was penniless. She respected him and wanted him to respect her, too. Her life was already in shambles. The last thing she needed was Koran looking down at her.
“
McKinley!” Koran tapped on the passenger side window, causing her to jump.
“
Huh?” She stared up at him.
“
What are you doing?”
“
Umm,” she tried to think of a lie. “I was lookin’ for my lipstick.” She smiled.
“
Open the door,” Koran insisted.
McKinley unlocked the door, knowing she’d been caught.
“
Now are you gon’ tell me the truth or do I have to pry it out of you?”
McKinley gazed off to the side. She felt like a little kid who’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
“
I don’t have any money,” she finally said.
“
You’re broke?” Koran asked, surprised.
“
Yeah, like broke, broke. After Jamil died the Feds froze all of my accounts. All I have is the money in my pocket, which is nothing but twenty dollars. My mother and best friend had to pay for my airline ticket home.” Her lips trembled.
“
Who are you?” Koran eyed her suspiciously. “I mean, is your name even McKinley?”
“
See, this is why I didn’t wanna tell you.” McKinley tried to close the door, but Koran stopped her by pulling it back open.
“
What?” she whined.
“
What do you really think you’re doing?”
“
I don’t know.”
“
Look, even though you’re a walkin’, talkin’ Lifetime movie, you can sleep in my room.”
She shook her head. “You don’t have to do that.”
“
I know I don’t.” He winked his eye.
After riding the elevator up to the third floor, Koran and McKinley entered room 315. McKinley was pleasantly surprised at how clean and chic the room was. On the bed there was a brand-new down comforter and fluffy white pillows. Instead of using hotel bath soaps, they used Bath and Body Works products. Worn out from the day, McKinley kicked off her heels. Her feet were killing her. Unbeknownst to McKinley, while she stretched her toes, Koran had started to strip down.
“
Oh, my God, you were right. I didn’t even realize until now how tired I was.” She yawned. “I just thought about it though. I don’t have anything to put on.”
“
Here, you can wear one of my T-shirts.” Koran threw one at her.
McKinley turned around to catch it and noticed that Koran had nothing on but a pair of boxer briefs.
“
What the hell?” she yelled.
“
What’s wrong wit’ you?” He rummaged through his suitcase for something to sleep in.