Authors: Elisabeth Staab
Seeing Anton on the front step had stirred anger so primeval inside Tyra that she'd been half tempted to tear him limb from limb. Part of her was grateful he was back in one piece. Part of her hated him for leaving. Apparently that was the part of her in charge. At least, it
had
been.
They'd made it all the way to the woods before her anger cooled. What it left behind was a tangled mix of embarrassment, shame, hope, and fear. She had handled so many things so badly, and maybe she should have gone ahead and let him leave. Certainly, attacking him when he returned had been ungrateful. So many things
hurt
though, from the inside out. She didn't want him to leave again. She didn't want him to
die
, for crying out loud. God, when she'd heard he went looking for his brother by himself⦠Her vision blurred.
In an effort to brush away a snowflake on her cheek, she accidentally started the waterworks.
“Tyra, dammit. I'm sorry.”
“No, Anton, you were probably right to go. We can'tâ” Oh God, it was so unbelievably warm in his arms. And so comforting. Had she really forgotten that quickly what it was like? She closed her eyes, and big, fat tears came rolling down her cheeks.
“I'm sorry, Tyra.”
She tried putting Angry Tyra back at the helm and landed the world's lamest punch against his shoulder. “You don't get to do that. You don't get to decideâ”
And then he kissed her, and without any permission from her whatsoever, all the ice around her heart melted and she fell right into him. “I'm really sorry, Tyra,” he murmured against her lips. “This is⦔ More kissing. His fingers were warm, despite the cold, as his hand crept under her shirt. That power of his was quite a double-edged sword. Nice to have at times like these, but knowing how he'd acquired it tasted bitter.
“Neither of us can undo our pasts and where we've come from. I don't know how we'll navigate through things with your kind, but I'd like to try. I can help you fight. I can help your brother with what I know. Maybe one day your kind here will come to trust me.”
He kissed the corner of her mouth and whispered in her ear. “I'm as afraid of everything as you are. I can feel it in my veins, you know. But maybe we can lean on each other for that.”
Maybe they could.
Somehow they'd walked a few paces together until her back was against a tree whose branches had broken off in a storm. His erection pressed against her hip through the layers of both their clothing. His hand slid up the length of her inner thigh, caressing and pressing at the juncture of her thighs. “Oh, jeez. Anton. Seriously.” Before she completely took leave of her senses, they really did need to talk more. Males and their hormones.
With all the resistance she could muster, she gripped his shoulder and pushed him backward. “Anton.”
He blinked. Already, his eyes were a little glazed. Just like a manâall about sex. “Look, you're really sure about staying? Because I don't think I can take it if you leave again.”
“I really don't want to leave you again.” He tightened his grip around her waist and pulled her in for another kiss.
She punched against his chest. “Anton.”
“Ow.”
“I mean it.”
“So do I.”
***
“Sir, do you have a moment?” Xander caught the king coming out of the room where he usually received subjects.
“Xander, you've known me for a century. Don't call me âsir.'”
Xander nodded. Thad seemed⦠it was hard for Xander to get a read on him these days. Xander wasn't much older than Thad and could easily remember having grown up and trained side by side. They'd laughed and celebrated together. Now Thad was serious and strung tight, but still someone Xander knew and could talk to⦠or so it seemed. But was he?
Somehow, now that he'd opened his big mouth, Xander was thinking perhaps he should have waited until he ran into Lee or Siddoh or perhaps even his buddy Flay to discuss this. But Thad had been the one to put him on guard duty.
“I wanted to find out about the possibility of returning to active duty.”
Thad creased his forehead and crossed his arms over his chest. “You're willing to feed?”
“Yes.” The back of Xander's neck got hot.
No
need
to
get
squirmy, Xander. Be matter of fact about it and move on
.
Thad's chin dropped to his chest for a moment. “What's Theresa say?”
Xander found himself stuck in a silent stutter. Shaking off the temporary paralysis so he could answer was a harder fight than it ought to have been. “She seems to be doing rather well. The baby is healthy. She's getting around without trouble, and her spirits are remarkable. She's handling Eamon's passing far better than I handled Tam's.”
“But have you discussed it with her, pulling out of guard duty? We all know it's not exactly her physical safety I'm concerned with.”
Xander swallowed. “Not exactly. I haven't discussed it with her.”
Thad rubbed his temple a little. “Talk to her before you decide anything. You've had months to get used to being without a mate. She's just easing into it and dealing with a new baby besides. I don't like the idea of leaving her on her own yet.”
The king's response both relieved and agitated Xander. He bounced on his heels for a moment. An argument perched on the tip of his tongue, but Thad stood before him with his chest and chin jutting forward.
The king knew. He knew Xander wanted to argue and was challenging him to do it.
“Is there some kind of problem, Xander?”
Xander blinked and studied the diamond-patterned carpet runner. Well, that would probably depend on one's definition of the word. And frankly, Xander couldn't even put his finger on what had him so agitated. Maybe that he was an interloper on sacred ground every time he took Theresa's vein, and his heart broke when he thought of Tam while he did. It broke even more when he realized that he hadn't thought of Tam at all.
That brief moment of connection when he'd been on his way out to look for Anton had been wrong on so many levels. Nothing tangible, but something had passed between him and Theresa, or at least something had entered his field of awareness. It was clear that he had gone someplace in his head that he ought never to go again.
But he could barely define it for himself so he sure as hell couldn't say it aloud and, least of all, give it to the king as a reason to stop guarding a newly widowed mother. Sheesh, he was a selfish dickhead.
“Xander?”
Not a stupid enough one to keep hassling the king over this, though. He shook his head. “Yeah. No. Sorry, Thad. It's not a problem. Anxious to get back out to active duty, you know?”
Well, that was part of the truth, anyway.
Thad's heavy hand landed on Xander's shoulder, and he started. He'd been staring at the dust molecules again and hadn't realized it.
“I know it's been hard missing the fight these past months.” Thad laughed. “Believe me. I've only been out of the field a few weeks, and already it's got me going stir-crazy. So I get it. At the same time, I want to make sure Theresa's in a good place first. I don't want to leave her hanging, and our next generation is even more important now than it ever was.
“We don't know what we're facing down the road with these wizards, but there's a good chance that boy will grow up to be a fighter. You know it takes a village, and all that.”
Xander nodded. “Right. Understood.” He took a step back, not really sure what to say next, and nearly leapt for joy when Isabel appeared in the hall with a young girl. “She's asking for Tyra again. Do we know where she is?”
Xander took that as his chance to escape. A snippet of cheesy porn music complete with bow-chicka-wow-wows played in his head. Unless Anton was a bigger idiot than Xander had him pegged for, he could guess exactly where Tyra was. And hell, if Anton was that much of an idiot, the dude was on his own in the next go-round. Xander had a limit on the number of times he would stick his neck out for a former enemy of their race looking to turn it all around, and before tonight he would have said that limit was zero.
He grunted, and a puff of air clouded in front of his face as he sped across the grounds. Never say never.
When he arrived back at Theresa's, both mother and baby were asleep on the sofa. The wee one was curled into a crooked question mark shape on Theresa's stomach, chewing its fist as it slept. Theresa's light brown curls fell across her face in pleasant disarray. It was a refreshing change to see her at a time when her guard was down.
The leather of Xander's boots creaked faintly when he stepped closer. He stopped in the center of the living room. There was a chair near the door in the entryway, and he went to sit there instead to keep watch while they slept. He remained there, wide-awake and determined not to get comfortable.
“You three are all on my shit list.” Thad paced Tyra's living room with his hands clasped behind his back. Smoke actually seemed to be coming from his ears.
Tyra struggled to remain still where she stood. For once, it was clear that getting in her brother's face wasn't the answer.
Anton, who was perched next to her on a bar stool in her breakfast nook, reached to take her hand. “He has a right to be angry,” he whispered. “We're all under stress here. Let him vent.”
“Goddamn right I've got a right to be angry.” Thad pointed a finger at Anton and then at Tyra. “Look, no offense, man, but we agreed, Ty, that it would be best to let him go.” He whirled on Xander. “And you. You said you wanted to go talk to him. I didn't hear anything about you hauling his carcass back to the estate, and I don't think lying by omission is the kind of shit you want to pull with me when you're trying to get your ass put back on active duty.”
Xander's jaw clenched, but he stayed silent. Probably wise.
Anton slid off the stool and took a step forward. “Thad, if you want me to leave, I will.”
“What?” Tyra jerked. He'd promised her that he would stay. “Anton.”
Anton held up a hand. “
And
I've also promised Ty that I won't leave her again. So you see, that would leave me in the somewhat difficult position of having to go back on my word, but I've got to respect your laws in this little world, and I will.”
Thad and Anton moved toward each other in the center of the room, two stags about to engage in a horn lock. Meanwhile, Xander and Tyra made eye contact from across the room. They'd fought together but had never really been friends, yet suddenly in this unlikely scenario they were on the same page, and that page had a whole lot of annoyance written on it. Each in their own way had managed to put aside baggage and worries and past hurt to come to terms with bringing Anton back here to the estate, and Anton and Thad were still having a pissing match over it.
She rubbed her eyes. So much had happened, and she was bone weary. She wanted to be angry at someone, but she was even almost too tired for that. “Thad.”
Someone knocked hard on the front door. When she opened it, she recognized the man as the father of Thad's house manager, Ivy. He didn't come to the house much but she'd seen him on her rare visits to the Elder Council meetings. His name escaped her at the moment. Gus⦠Gunderson. No, it was a color, maybe, like⦠Gray. Black?
It was then that the cluster of other vampires caught her attention, all residents of the estate and all wearing such grimly determined faces that she wondered why they weren't carrying torches and pitchforks. Ugh. Why hadn't she seen this coming?
She hadn't wanted to.
“Let us talk to the wizard,” the elder said.
She narrowed her stare at the elder and then panned over the rest of the crowd. It was a mix. Mostly elders and some civilians who lived on the premises, but she was relieved to note that not many of her teammates were in the group. There were, however, females and children. For the children, it was paramount that this be resolved peacefully.
“Uh, yeah, I don't think so. See, you guys have this whole angry-mob thing going, and he's done nothing wrong.”
All this did was get them agitated and restless and jostling each other. Clearly, her negotiation tactics needed work. Her pulse quickened. The front door opened and her heart pounded even more. Fear that Anton might decide to throw himself to the wolves dueled with concern that Thad might come out here and put himself in danger in front of his angry subjects.
Hot shame washed over her as she moved to guard the door from whoever was coming out of it. From the moment she'd woken up in that shelter, she'd handled all of this so damned badly. “Xander.”
He smiled broadly, and his fangs flashed in the moonlight. His body language was at ease, and she was at once comforted and confused. What did he know that she didn't?
He raised a hand, even as he ushered Tyra behind him with one arm, which made her blood simmer. He didn't have to protect her, after all.
“Good morning, everyone. Evening, Elder Grayson.”
Grayson, that was it. Tyra resisted the urge to thunk her forehead in front of the crowd of restlessly shifting bodies.
Xander cleared his throat. “Listen, I get that everyone's a little upset over Tyra here sleeping with the enemy and all that.” He jerked a thumb in Tyra's direction.
Her eyes widened. Oh, he did
not
say that.
But he had, and bless his traitorous little heart, he was still talking. “But I want everyone here to understand something. I was the one responsible for bringing the wizard back to the estate, so don't anyone blame Tyra here for that.”
More murmuring and restless shifting from the peanut gallery. A baby cried near the back. A baby. Someone had actually brought a baby. Jeez. Elder Grayson stepped forward. “What the hell is this about?”
***
Xander leaned his shoulders against the cold of Tyra's beige vinyl siding and cracked his knuckles. He gazed up at the sparsely populated sky and the three-quarter moon and hoped that Tam, wherever she was, would be proud of him for this. He'd like to think so.
He scanned the crowd populated with young ones and females who had no business getting swept up or even standing by as witness to what would surely go down if they let Anton come out of Tyra's house. Certainly, no good could come of letting this get out of hand. He hadn't brought Anton back for that.
Next to him, Tyra leaned back against the door, and despite the distance between their bodies, heat radiated off her. He would bet any amount of money that her body was strung tight, and he wouldn't blame her. She didn't know what he had planned, and even Xander himself didn't know how his message would be received.
He lowered his eyes and assumed a somber expression. It wasn't hard, thinking of Tam. “Most of you know I lost my mate a few months ago.”
The crowd stilled considerably, uttering a few murmurs of agreement or understanding. Some eyes got wider. Folks were listening. Good.
“We had a fight.” Tears pressed behind his eyes, and he let them flow because this was not a time to be stoic. This was a time to get anger to shift, and if it shifted to sad, then all the better. “And when I returned from patrol, she'd left a gift and a note saying that she'd bring back my favorite food. But she never came home. Even with all of us out there on patrol, the wizards still manage to grab a vampire or two some nights and one night it was my Tam.”
He ignored the snot drip that landed on his boot. “So nobody gets it more than I do, what it means to have a wizard living inside our estate, you know?”
From the creased foreheads and wide eyes on the vampires crowded around Tyra's stoop, it wasn't clear that they did know. The inferno radiating out of Tyra dialed down a notch but he didn't dare look in her direction. Somehow, that was the key to keeping his composure.
He jerked a thumb toward the door. “That guy in there, he was there when Tam was⦔ He swallowed past the hard lump in his throat. “When they claimed her power. He was kind enough to share with me that she wasn't conscious when they did it. She didn't⦠hopefully feel any pain.” Tension radiated out of Tyra, but Xander needed to keep going before he lost his shit. “He's a good man who was born in a bad place. He helped us kill their leader, and he has knowledge that can help us defeat these bastards once and for all. Isn't that what we really want?”
Everyone seemed too confused to respond.
Jeez, everyone, superior species, much?
“Come on, eye on the prize, folks.”
Tyra stepped forward. “Guys. Anton was born in the wrong place at the wrong time. He wants to help us defeat the wizards. Wouldn't you like to see us put an end to the fighting?”
Didn't he just say all that? This time, thank fuck, murmurs of assent rose from the crowd. Next to Xander, Tyra blew an audible sigh of relief. Only Elder Grayson remained stern and unmoved. Xander met the elder male's gaze directly.
“If that wizard starts trouble, I'll be the first to make him pay for it. You have my word. But we only shoot ourselves in the foot if we take him down before he's helped us defeat the wizards. And isn't that our true goal? Besides, we're not any better than the wizards if we're out here forming lynch mobs without cause.”
The rest of the group murmured more heartily this time. Xander straightened and peered up at the sky. “Good. Now I suggest everyone get their children back to their homes. Dawn is approaching, and none of us can defeat the enemy if we're burnt to a crisp.”
Slowly the murmurs became grumbles, and everyone turned and trekked back to their homes. Elder Grayson was the last. His long, silvery hair waved in the morning breeze as he studied Xander with a look reminiscent of a small-time crook whose dastardly plans had been thwarted. That reaction didn't make an awful lot of sense, but Xander made a note to mention it to Thad, just in case.
Xander started when a warm hand wrapped around his and, before he could process, arms as well. Then Tyra's forehead landed on his shoulder and her mass of curly hair was blowing into his face. She hugged him hardâthe kind of hug his grandmother used to give when he was a child. In response, he used to say, “I can't breathe when you do that.” But this time he didn't say a thing. Didn't do anything but hold on.
“I don't know exactly why you did that, but thank you.”
He nodded against the top of her head. “It was the right thing to do. And like I said, I want revenge. For Tam's death. For your father. For all the ones we've lost.” The very thought charged him with energy and motivation he hadn't known in months.
He'd make it up to Tam for not saving her.