Princess at Silver Spires (8 page)

Abina, you don't need me to stick myself in the limelight. I'll still make sure
Just Water
helps you, but I'm pulling out of this ridiculous fashion show. Right now.

I let go of the door handle and turned to face the room, my back against the door, my heart racing with anger. Everyone was buzzing with excitement. No one was paying any attention to me. Miss Owen had a crowd of girls round her, who all seemed to be talking at once. Miss Pritchard had put the music back on at a lower volume and was walking down the catwalk with exaggerated rhythm, a girl on either side of her. All three were counting loudly.

Still I just stood there like a statue, and the more I took in the scene before me, the more I hated everything about it. Katy might love this world of fashion, but it wasn't for me. A few people were turning to leave, chatting and laughing, coming towards the door where I stood. Elise was one of them. I watched the bright smile quiver round her mouth as her eyes changed from sparkling to puzzled when she noticed me standing there, tense and still. She knew something was wrong. And one by one the others stopped talking and stared.

“What's up?” asked Elise, suspicion narrowing her eyes.

My determination hadn't left me. I was still angry. “I'm not doing it.”

It was as though my words had punctured the buzz and the throb of excitement in the hall, and it was seeping out of our small solemn corner.

“Of course you are! Don't be silly!” snapped Elise.

Her friends' eyes widened as they jerked their gazes from me to Elise and back again.

“I'm not being silly. Now I know you picked me because I'm a princess, I can't do it. You even lied to me about what I'd have on my head. A tiara is going to make me look stupid.” There was an expression I wanted to use. I'd heard my sister use it once. I searched for the words and they popped into my head. “You're just playing on my royal status.”

There was another silence, then Elise's face softened. “Oh, don't take any notice of me. I didn't mean it…”

The top layer of my anger was fading now and embarrassment was starting to creep up my back and my neck. I was still determined to stick to my guns though. “Sorry, Elise. You'll have to find someone else. I feel completely out of place here, and I felt even worse on the catwalk.”

Then suddenly everyone was speaking.

“Naomi, you looked great!”

“Miss Pritchard even singled you out for praise!”

“You fitted in perfectly!”

Then Elise's voice, with a hard edge, cut in. “Anyway, it's too late. You're committed now.”

A horrible guilt was making my throat hurt and I thought I might be about to cry. That would be awful. I knew I mustn't be swayed. I had to stick to my decision. It felt right. It
was
right. “Sorry, Elise,” I repeated. “It's…I mean, I'm sure it's not too late for you to find someone else.”

Elise raised her voice. Her eyes glinted furiously. “What? Someone exactly the same size and shape as you? Yeah, right!”

I quickly pulled open the door and rushed out before I could change my mind. Then I ran along the corridor, feeling the tears gathering behind my eyes, and when I got outside the cold air hit me, but I didn't care. It was better than the sickly hot air in the hall. Still I ran and ran, with tears dripping down my face. I passed a few people, but they were hunched against the cold and huddled together, not paying attention to me. I gave them a wide berth and kept my head down until I was on the athletics field, where I finally slowed my pace and wiped my face on my sleeve. It was too cold to walk though, so I started running again and didn't stop till I reached the secret garden.

Going through the gap in the hedge, I waited for the usual feeling of peace to come over me. But it didn't. I sat down on the bench and bunched my knees up, hugging them tight. I stayed curled up like this, with miserable thoughts raging inside my head, until I felt like a block of ice.

What had I done? How could I have been so dramatic? I usually think about things carefully before I act, but I'd just walked away from the whole show without any consideration for poor Elise.
Poor
Elise. No. That wasn't true. She'd lied to me. And anyway, there were masses of girls who were more or less the same size and shape as me, who'd fall over themselves to be her model. It was true that she might have to do a few small alterations to her outfits, but nothing much. And an older girl would look ten times better than me in those designs. I hadn't even tried on the third outfit yet, so there wouldn't be any alterations to that one.

All the same it was true that I'd acted like a prima donna, and I couldn't help feeling embarrassed about suddenly announcing that I couldn't go on and dramatically running away. The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I felt. I started to imagine myself telling Katy and the others what I'd done. It wouldn't be easy to explain, and I wasn't at all sure how they'd react.

Inside my skirt pocket my phone vibrated. I pulled it out and looked at the number. The screen said
Home
. Mum occasionally phoned at this time, just before supper. So now I was going to have to explain to Mum what had happened as well, and I simply wasn't prepared. But I couldn't
not
answer her, so I pressed the green button.

“Hi, Mum.” And I suddenly realized that the fashion show didn't have to be mentioned at all if I could keep the conversation on other things. My brain started scouring around for what I could talk about, but Mum didn't give me time to say anything.

“Just a quick call, Naomi. I wanted to let you know that Miss Carol phoned to ask our permission for you to be interviewed by someone from the local television station on the night of the fashion show, and of course we were delighted because it's all good publicity. So you might like to start thinking about what you're going to say. You know how your father always says it's much better to be prepared.”

My heart had been sinking more and more as Mum had been talking. I was going to have to admit what I'd done. I couldn't pretend nothing had happened, because eventually my parents would find out and it would make things worse if they discovered I'd been keeping it secret. But I'd play it right down. Yes, that's what I'd do.

“The thing is, Mum, we had the first rehearsal just now and it was obvious I didn't really fit in, so…Elise is going to try and get someone older instead…”

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

I plunged on. “I'm not upset or anything…and it doesn't mean…I can't do the interview.” I wasn't sure if that was true, but I was trying not to annoy Mum too much.

“What do you mean, you didn't fit in?”

“Well…I felt too young.”

“Ah!
You
felt too young. It wasn't that Elise or any members of staff thought you were too young?”

Now the silence was at my end of the phone. I couldn't lie. There was no way out of this one.

“No,” I whispered.

“Oh, Naomi, tell me what happened.”

Mum's voice was filled with disappointment, but I couldn't tell whether it was the kind of disappointment that's close to sympathy, or the kind that could easily tip over into annoyance. I didn't want her to be cross with me, but it's always been so hard to make her understand how I feel about being a princess and wanting that part of my life to be separate from school, and not to get in the way of how people look at me.

“Well…Elise was really boasting about how she'd deliberately chosen a princess for a model because that was sure to make her the winner of the competition, and I've got to wear a tiara, and I couldn't bear it.
And…
” I broke into another gabble. “…I can't tell you what it's like walking down a catwalk. Miss Pritchard said you have to show off, and you know I hate people looking at me. I just wish I'd never agreed in the first place, but the others thought I ought to, and all I could think was how it would be helping Just Water, so that's why I said yes.”

I heard Mum sighing heavily. “I'm sorry, Naomi, but as you say, you shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place. I know Elise has acted badly, but two wrongs don't make a right. I can't imagine Elise was too pleased with you dropping out at the last minute?”

“Er…well, there are loads of other people who are my size who'd love to be her model…”

“All the same, if she's fitted clothes to your exact measurements, she's sure to have to make alterations. But more to the point, you've let her down, Naomi.”

I wanted to say, “Yes, but
she
let
me
down.” Only there was no point. I'd never get Mum to see that being chosen because of being a princess is unbearable for me. So I stayed quiet.

“Well I can't make you do the show, but I have to say it's unlikely you'll be interviewed as an ordinary student who has nothing to do with the fashion show. And that would be a good publicity opportunity for Just Water missed.”

“I'll try and explain to Miss Owen and Miss Carol about why I pulled out, and…” I trailed off because I couldn't be sure that the teachers would understand my decision. But I hoped against hope that Miss Carol would. She's such a fair and understanding person and I really like her.

“Have a good think about it, and try to see things from all points of view, Naomi.”

“Okay. I'd better go now, Mum. It's supper time. But I'll…phone you when I've talked to Miss Carol.”

After I'd rung off, I realized I was so cold my teeth were starting to chatter, and I did a big involuntary shudder, partly because of the cold and partly because I was upset. I had tears in my eyes as I got up to go back to school.

By the time I reached the dining hall, I was looking forward to getting some warm food inside me, but I definitely wasn't looking forward to telling the others what had happened. And I was positively dreading seeing Elise or any of her friends. In fact, it might have spread all round the Year Tens and Elevens that Naomi Okanta was a selfish little prima donna, and they might all hate me. I shivered and went to join the queue.

When I finally found the courage to look round, I saw Katy, Georgie and Mia waving excitedly at me. Georgie was mouthing something, because she'd never be heard above the noise of chatter and cutlery on plates even if she shouted. I shrugged and smiled to show I didn't know what she was saying, though it was obvious really. They all wanted to know how I'd got on at the rehearsal. I swallowed and tried to prepare some words.

Sitting down next to Katy, I started to feel ridiculously nervous. But I kept telling myself she's my best friend and is sure to support my decision. I wasn't so confident about Georgie, but Mia would probably make her understand how I felt.

“So, tell us all about it,” said Katy immediately.

I swallowed and blinked. “Well, it was awful, actually…”

All three of them gasped.

“Why? What happened?” asked Georgie, stopping eating and staring at me, wide-eyed with curiosity.

I took a deep breath. “I hated it. I felt so nervous. My legs turned to jelly—”

“But did you walk the way you showed us at Hazeldean?” Georgie interrupted.

“I did my best…”

“And did you manage to fit your steps to the music okay?” asked Mia.

“Yes…”

“Well you must have been brilliant!” said Katy. “I bet you're just being modest.”

“I felt so young…”

Katy put her arm round me. “I hope no one criticized you or anything just because you're the youngest.”

“What did Elise say?” asked Georgie.

“What did the teachers say?” asked Mia. “Weren't they impressed with you?”

This conversation wasn't going at all as I'd hoped. By now I should have made my big confession and the others should all be offering me bags and bags of sympathy.

“Well, Miss Pritchard—”

“Miss Pritchard!” interrupted Georgie. “Oh, you mean you've got my total heroine in charge of the fashion show?”

“She's in charge of the choreography. Miss Owen's in charge of the whole thing.”

“Don't keep interrupting, Georgie,” said Katy. “What did Miss Pritchard say, Naomi?” Her eyes were full of concern again.

“Er…she said I was doing it really naturally…” I knew I'd have to mention that, because if my friends heard it from someone else they'd be cross that I hadn't said anything about it. But at least I could convince them that this was the most embarrassing bit of all. “…And she said the reason I looked natural was because I was used to being in front of cameras. Everyone must have thought I was a big show-off. I mean, I actually heard someone say that Miss Pritchard was sucking up to me because I'm a princess…”

Katy's eyes gleamed darkly. “Just ignore the horrible person who said that about you being a princess. At least it was only one person. There wasn't anyone else, was there?”