Princess Ever After (Royal Wedding Series) (31 page)
“What do the girls think? How are they getting on?”
“They are typical preteens, Tanner. Innocent and giddy one moment, crying over a trivial squabble the next.” She flipped her hand in the air as if it was all so, so droll and ordinary. “They adore Evan, by the way. And he them.”
“Naturally. What about Reese? Where’s he in all of this?” Tanner covered the space between them and lightly gripped her arms, not caring if it startled her a bit. “I let you take them from me, Trude, endured the scorn of my parents, my family, and my friends because you and
your
cohorts convinced me, dare I say manipulated me, into believing the twins would fare
much better with one set of parents. You and Reese. You swore to me he was the love of your life, that you’d never divorce him. Because that was the only way I’d agree. You promised me he adored the girls as if they were his own. So I walked away. Much to my own regret. And now you take this tone with me when I want to know what’s going on?”
She jerked her arms free. “It’s not like they’re children, Tanner.”
“They
are
children. Ten is still a child.”
“They are mature enough to understand relationships change. It’s not like they were born into a perfect situation, a perfect family.” She rolled her eyes at him. “We were never even in love. We didn’t start dating until after I was pregnant.”
“But we were making our role as parents work.”
Despite his rebuttal, Tanner knew she was right. The girls’ introduction to this world was fractured from the get-go.
Their parents were a couple of fools who let a weekend holiday take them where they never intended to go.
In truth, if he turned the mirror of accusation he held up to Trude toward himself, Tanner bore the same amount of guilt as she. Maybe more.
As much as he loved his girls, there was a small part of him that wanted relief from single parenting, from the pain of missing them when he dropped them off at Trude’s. Knowing that every day he wasn’t with them, he missed some beautiful part of their lives and who they were becoming.
First words? He missed them. Trude regaled him with the tale of how they said “Mum-Mum” when he came to pick them up for his weekend. By then, they’d been talking for several days.
First steps? Happened while they were on vacation with her parents in Italy. By the time Tanner picked them up for his holiday with them, they were practically marathon runners.
“. . . so you see,” Trude was saying, “it’s all for the best. Evan is a good man. I’m so much wiser now than when I married Reese.”
Tanner released a bit of his anger and untangled his emotions from the stale, old guilt. “What do the girls say of this marriage and move to America?”
“We’re waiting until after the party to tell them. Evan found out about the job last week. It was then that he proposed and I said yes.”
“What does Reese say about you hopping over the pond with his girls?” The words
his girls
tasted like bitter herbs.
“Here’s the thing, Tanner.” Trude slipped her hand in her pocket and retrieved a pack of cigarettes, popping one out of the crumpled pack. She gave Tanner a sheepish look. “Can you believe it,”—she held up the cigarette—“after all these years? But I am trying to quit. I am. Well, no matter. Where was I? Right. The girls are set to enter Scarborough next year, my alma mater, as well as my mother’s and grandmother’s. Their closest friends, the Exleys, Thorndikes, and Hathaways, are also entering Scarborough next year.”
“Your point?”
She tapped the end of the cigarette against her hand. “Tanner, when Reese left, he
left
. Me, the girls, everything. He’s not seen them in a year and a half.” She stared at one of the bookcases. “He said the girls were not really his, and if he was moving on with his life, he didn’t need the burden of another man’s children.”
Her confession hung in the room, absorbing all the light, eating the air. Tanner dropped to the nearest chair. He had no words. No retort. So this was how it felt to be completely broken.
“I should have never asked you to leave their lives, Tanner.” Trude sat on the edge of a low table and faced him. “I was idyllic and foolish. Reese was jealous of you. I’m sure you knew. We fought every time you came round. He’s the one who started the bit about the girls needing a one-mum, one-dad family, and I fell for it.” She looked frail and tattered, beaten. “You do believe me, don’t you?”
He fixed on the pattern of the carpet. “I’ve lost eight years with my girls, Trude. Your confession can never bring them back.”
She hardened, collecting her defenses. “I’m not so sure you didn’t count it as a relief, Tanner. Letting someone else do your job. I daresay it’s how you let us finally convince you.”
“Stop.” He wouldn’t let her put any of her own burden on him. “I struggled, but I never wanted another man to raise my girls. You convinced me that letting go would make their lives easier. More emotionally healthy.”
Trude finally lit the cigarette. “Don’t tell my father.” She held up the cigarette, fanning away the small tendrils of smoke drifting through the swath of sunlight. “He’d kill me for smoking in his precious library. Here’s the thing, Tanner. Not what we did in the past but what we can do now, for the future, and the matter of Scarborough.”
“What of it? You said the girls were set.”
“Well, yes, but not if we’re in America. Evan’s assignment is for a minimum of three years. Scarborough is a day school until the girls are fourteen, then they can board, but until then, they need to live with someone.”
Ah. The picture was becoming clear.
“Evan leaves for America in January, so we thought we’d marry over Christmas.” She smiled at him, dashing out her cigarette after only a few puffs. “If the girls go with us, they’ll miss their final semester at Trinity. Which is fine, I suppose, but they do need to be prepared to enter Scarborough next fall.”
“Trude, what are you suggesting?”
“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be out with it. Tanner, will you take the girls?”
“Excuse me?” he fired away from his perch. “Take them where?”
“To live with you, of course.” Her smile reflected her polished charm. “I know it’s a lot to ask, enormous really. But it would mean so much to Evan and me.”
“What happened to taking them with you? Being a cohesive family?”
“I know, I know. But the girls deserve to stay in school with their friends. I don’t want to give them a new stepdad and a new life in a foreign country all at once.”
“Then don’t. Stay here. You don’t have to go to America, Trude.”
“Oh, you and your simplicity.” She went around the polished desk with intricate carvings on the corners and legs. “Evan has waited five years for this job. If he doesn’t take it, his career is stalled. He cannot turn it down just because he’s fallen in love with me.”
“Why not? Am I the only one required to sacrifice my heart for someone else’s happiness?” He sounded a bit bitter, and he didn’t care. “You get what you want all the time, but I get to be sacrificed.”
“You just said yourself—”
“I gave up my daughters, Trude.” He leaned toward her, tapping his chest. “And it killed me. I’ve lived with the guilt and shame ever since.”
“Then why in heaven’s name did you do it?”
“For their
happiness
and
stability
. Or so I believed.” He jammed his hands in his pockets. How could he have been such a fool? “If anyone was young and unwise, it was me. To let you talk me into giving up the girls. Now you tell me it was because Reese was jealous?”
“Tanner, darling, Evan adores Bella and Britta. But they aren’t his daughters, you see, and I can’t ask him to turn down his dream job because my girls need to go to Scarborough.”
“Why not? I gave up my dream of going to seminary because of you and the girls. And by the way, Britta and Bella don’t have to go to Scarborough.”
“Don’t blame me about seminary. You chose to resign all on your own. And yes, the girls do have to go to Scarborough.”
“I had to resign, Trude. How could I start my life as a minister of the gospel as a single dad?”
“Listen, bloke, you are just as much to blame for what happen—”
“I’m not blaming anyone.” Tanner collected his frayed emotions and lowered his voice. “I simply mean to remind you when two people have children out of wedlock, plans and dreams are altered.”
“Don’t you see? I’m trying to right a wrong here. Let you have the girls. Why are you resisting me?”
“Because it feels to me like you’re trying to make your life and your new relationship work while putting me and the girls on the line. Once again. This is more about your happiness than anyone else’s, Trude.”
She swore in a high, lilting tone. “It is about
all
of us. All of our happiness.”
“Tell me, do they even remember me? What are they going to think of you leaving them with a virtual stranger? And what of your parents? Why can’t they take the girls?”
“I’ve not asked them. They’re leaving for Barcelona in the new year for four months. Besides, they’ve raised a family and don’t care to do it again. The girls will be fine with you. You’re their dad. It’s time they got to know you and your family. Don’t you think? They can visit me on holidays and summers. I’ll come over once a quarter. They’ll hardly miss me.”
“Do they even know I exist?”
“I’ve started talking to them about you. Asking if they remember you.”
“And?”
“Tanner, not everything about this is perfect or ideal.”
“Do they, Trude?”
“Yes, in an absent-uncle kind of manner.” She gripped his arm. “Don’t you want to get to know them? Now’s your chance.”
“They’re ten.” He gestured toward the door. “I know nothing about being a dad to ten-year-old girls.”
“No worry, darling. They are perfect at being ten. They’ll be more than happy to educate you.” Her quick laugh wavered and fell short.
“I work sixty hours a week.” He pressed his fingers to his forehead, bringing his cold, stark life into view. “My refrigerator is empty save for week-old carry-out and sour milk.”
“I’m sure your mum would be more than willing to help. And mine, when she is here.”
This whole proposition set him on edge. Turned him upside down. The fact that he was even considering it . . .
“What is your plan if I say no?”
She shook another cigarette from the packet. “I don’t have one.”
“I’ll have to think about it. But, Trude, if they come to live with me, that’s it. No going back and forth. I’ll be their primary,
deciding
parent. If I say they enroll in Highlands, then they enroll in Highlands.”
“What? Because you get a few years with them? They’ve been slated for Scarborough since they were two years old.”
“Little did you know, I enlisted them for Highlands when they were two years old.”
“You cannot be serious. Tanner, I refuse to be held hostage to you simply because I’m asking you to care for your own daughters.”
“After what you did to me, I daresay I can make some demands. Not to mention you invite me here to ask me to relieve you of your parenting duties so you can run off to America all carefree with a new husband. You say Reese left over a year ago? Why am I just now hearing about it?”
“Semantics, Tanner. Always semantics with you. Do you think it was easy for me to invite you here for this?”
“Yes, because here I stand.” He leaned into her, gaining her full attention. “If I take the girls, I want full custody.”
“You can’t cut me out of their lives.”
“I’d never cut you out. But you’re asking me to be their dad and that’s exactly what I intend to be.” He had driven up to the highlands with trepidation, not a thought of getting a second chance with his daughters. Praying if he met them they’d not kick him in the knee and run screaming. “I’ll see to their education, their friends, their social diary. I’ll be delighted to comply with your schedule as well as your parents’. But if this is your request and the reason you invited me here today, then these are my conditions.”
“My word, Tanner.” She pressed her hand over her middle. “Fifteen minutes ago you weren’t in their lives at all and countering my request to take them, saying you knew nothing about ten-year-old girls. Now you’re wanting full control.”
“Let’s just say I’m a zero-to-sixty sort of chap.” He walked around the back of the sofa and headed for the door. “Think on it, Trude. I’m off to join the party, say hello to Dad and Mum, and venture a happy birthday to my girls.”
L
ate Sunday afternoon, Reggie sat in the parlor by the window with two thick law books, one printed in 1890, the other in 1910. Jarvis had hooked her up.
Takingup the first book, she flipped through the ancient pages, scanning a bunch of legalese about crime and punishment, legal cases and precedent, but nothing about Seamus’s threat to charge her as an enemy of the state.
Taking up the second volume entitled
Vox Vocis Canonicus
, she scanned it looking for the word on lords, earls, and enemies of the state.
If any member of the royal family, house of lords, or nobility are found conspiring to dissolve, overthrow, put down, or destroy the government of Hessenberg, Grand Duchy, they shall be stripped of title and authority, all lands and accounts, and banned from the nation as an enemy of the state.