Private Affair (The Private Series) (10 page)

Back at Ben’s, I mean our place, we have a few minutes before Erin and James get here to celebrate the New Year. The show didn’t get over until after midnight, so we will have our own little ringing in the New Year on our own here. I was a little disappointed that I didn’t get to kiss Ben at the stroke of midnight, but I am sure he will make it up to me.

“I think the show went over really well,” I confess as we take off our coats and his hands are on me faster than a leopard chasing a pack of juicy impalas. He starts kissing my neck and his hands reach up under my white tank top, grasping my breast. I lick my lips and start tugging at his shirt, I stumble a bit in my mega heels and that’s when we hear the buzzer.

Ben lets out a growl, which not only makes me even wet, but makes me giggle at his frustration. “What’s so funny?” he asks, nuzzling me.

“Your frustration,” I tell him honestly, as I adjust my top and bra.

He nips my neck, “you know I could always not let them in.”

I consider it for a slight moment, because he is driving me over the edge. But I come too and I squirm away from his intense gaze. Fuck.

“Told you, you’d regret inviting them over…” he smirks and smacks my ass as he passes me by heading into the kitchen.

I stick my tongue out at him. I open the door and welcome the couple into our home. Erin gives me a hug and kiss on the cheek and James picks me up in a spin hug, “Happy New Year Tessy.”

“Happy New Year James,” I give him a quick peck on the cheek and take the two bottles of booze out of his hands.

I walk into the kitchen and hand Ben the bottles and he thanks James. I take their coats as Ben starts to pour some drinks. Before I even say another word Erin suggests we play a drinking game.

“Common! We can pop in a movie and every time they say a certain word we take a drink!”

“I’ve never played a drinking game before,” I admit.

“What?” Erin screeches at me, making everyone cringe. She has a way of doing that to a room. She eagerly glides over to my movie collection and I hear James mumble something to Ben and they laugh. I am happy that they can finally get along. I smile at the sight of my two favorite men joking and smiling.

Erin pops up and holds a DVD behind her back, “I have the perfect movie.”

We wait and stare at her until she reveals her pick. It could honestly be anything, I have a collection of just about every genre there is. She gets tired of waiting for someone to reply, with a roll of her eyes she is holding one of my favorites.

“Pitch Perfect!” we say together and laugh. The guys grumble, which makes us even more excited.

“What’s the word going to be?” James asks a little concerned.

I know exactly what she’s thinking and I have a feeling that we are going to get hammered pretty fast tonight. I smirk at her and she winks, we know each other oh-too well.

“Aca,” we say in unison.

The guys just look dumbfounded. “Have either of you even seen this movie?” Erin asks.

They shake their heads no and James asks us, “What exactly is an ‘aca’?”

She puts her hands on her hips and actually says, “aca-scuse me?”

That’s all it takes and I am crunched over laughing, “Oh, I’ll get the drink ready. We are going to need quite a few of them!” I announce, heading to get started.

We are about more than half way through the movie and I think the shots are getting to the boys, because they are starting to laugh harder than Erin and I put together. This has got to be the most fun I have ever had on New Year’s, I normally would just sit home. I have so much to look forward to this year. Marrying Ben for one, the next, my new amazing family and career. Things are just going too well … then again I think Ben and I have been through enough hell lately, just to get where we are today.

The movie is over and we all have a pretty good buzz. Not completely sloshed, but a little tipsy and no verbal filter. Then I suggest something that I never would have suggested.

“Let’s play truth or dare!”

Erin throws her arm out and points dramatically in my direction, “Yes!” We lean forward and high-five one another.

At this point the guys just shrug and go with it.

“Okay, I suggested it, so I get to decide who starts! Erin, pick your victim.” She is all too willing to go first.

“James,” She gets his attention. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.” He replies.

“I dare you to empty your wallet.” She dares him we all look at her confused.

He shrugs “Okay,” he leans to reach into his back pocket. He opens it up and pulls out all of his cash and cards and then a row of condoms.

Ew!

“Erin! You did that on purpose to get a rise out of me!” I throw a pillow at her.

She tips over laughing, “Well now I know how many ‘rises’ I can get out of your brother here!”

Ben laughs, “Too far Red … too far.” I smack his chest and take another shot willingly for that one.

“My turn,” says James. “Tess, truth or dare?”

“Truth.” I would rather answer a question than try and get up to do something.

“Are you really cool with me and Erin?” He looks at me fully serious. He must have been worrying about this for a little while now. Why wouldn’t I be okay with it? He deserves to be with a great girl and Erin is, despite all of her past mistakes.

“I am more than cool with it James. I am happy you found a woman who understands you.”

He smiles and bashfully smiles at me and then kisses Erin. We all take another shot and I am feeling woozy and foggy.

“Your turn Tess,” Erin claps eagerly and bounces in her spot on the floor.

I close my eyes for a moment and I am greeted with an unwanted visual. I snap them back open and I feel my stomach start to clench. My heart squeezes at the thought and I now have the urge for my answers, unlike before. “Ben.”

He looks to me and wait for me to ask him, but instead, “You’re getting truth.”

“What? I don’t get the option of dare and get to do something stupid or gross like eating a spoon full of mayonnaise?” He laughs, and takes a sip of beer that he has been chasing his shots with.

“No, you don’t”

“Okay … truth it is then.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you hooked up with Erin?”

James chokes on his drink and stands up immediately, “What?” he yells.

Erin’s jaw drops open and she covers her mouth and looks horrified. I never confronted her about her drunken confession a while back, I didn’t see the point, because Ben and I were on hiatus, so it didn’t matter much.

I look to Ben who is just sitting there with a blank stare on his face. I am worried about what he is actually going to say. Fucking alcohol. Maybe this wasn’t the best way to bring it up. Well there’s no going back now.

James is looking from Erin to Ben, waiting for his answer. Thankfully my brother isn’t one for physical confrontation. Erin doesn’t move.

“What?” Ben finally asks. His tone is clipped and shocked.

“When did you sleep with her?” I urge. I don’t think I sound pissed, but then again I don’t know what anything is at the moment.

He crunches his eyebrows, and a look of confusion met with worry. He bites on his bottom lip and look to Erin. “What’s going on?” He asks her.

She shakes her head and I see tears spilling, “I … I … didn’t tell anyone…” She looks down and her eyes are searching the floor for an answer and memory of speaking about it.

“The night I brought you home from Chatz, drunk. I was leaving your room after tucking you in, you told me.”

James is up and pacing the floor, clearly fighting his own emotions on the matter. Ben gets to his feet and puts a hand on his shoulder and James swings.

Shit!

Ben is turned from the blow that my brother just inflicted him, his lip starts to bleed and I jump up to him and step between James and Ben. “James!”

“What? What Tess? Huh! I knew he was no good! I knew he was a womanizing asshole! Sleeps with any whore he can get!”

Erin cries out and James goes over to her, “I didn’t mean it like that babe, not you. You’re not a whore, not even close.”

“I am.” She whimpers out. “I slept with Ben.”

My head shoots up from looking at her when I hear Ben ask, “When exactly?”

“What?” I snap.

He looks at me with confusion and his eyes are searching mine. He looks worried like I might run again. We are all looking at him, waiting for him to say something else.

“You don’t remember?” Erin asks him bewildered.

He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out and his shoulders rise up with his hands. A loss for words. “I am sorry, but no, I don’t…” He finally gusts out.

“When was it?” James asks eagerly.

She looks at him slowly in fear of seeing judgment in his eyes. She is afraid that his view on her will change, that we won’t love her anymore. “A couple years ago.”

I see slight relief on James’s face, “So it wasn’t when we were together?” She shakes her head no slowly. “So let me get this right … He fucks you and forgot about you? And then my sister?” I start to see his fists clench again.

I step back in front of Ben instinctively.

“I was different back then James. I … I did a lot of things that I wasn’t proud of. Yes, I slept with women, a lot of women and I forgot who they were. I drank a lot and so did they, typically…” He looks to Erin and gives her an apologetic glance. “Look, I am sorry if we hooked up and I didn’t remember.”

Takes my hand and brings it to his lips. “I am sorry, but if I had remembered sleeping with Red, then I would have told you a long time ago. I know my pasts keep coming up and I am gravely sorry about that.”

“Okay,” I turn around and walk to Erin. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I was scared that you wouldn’t want to be my friend, if you found out that I had already had sex with the guy you were into. Not every girl is chicks before dicks, you know?” I can’t help but laugh at her confession.

James throws his arms up in the air, “Am I the only here who sees how fucked up this is?”

“James, it happened years ago.” I try to get him to understand. “Things happen. People happen and so do mistakes. But we grow and learn to overcome it … I have.”

Ben touches his cracked lip and tries, tries for me. “If I would have known how things would be today, with your sister and Red. If I would have known how much shit I would fuck up, I wouldn’t have done any of it. But If I didn’t go through my personal hell … I wouldn’t have found my heaven.” He looks at me across the room. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I don’t remember half the women I have slept with, but I have been over that ever since I met Tess.”

He is spilling it all out, when he doesn’t even have to explain anything to anyone, but he does for me. He will fight to make me happy and not put a strain on mine and James’s relationship. He of all people know how important family is.

“I am just looking out for my sister. That’s all I can do. She is my family, my world.”

“I know that feeling all too well. I have a little sister too and I feel like a failure to her right now. Like it’s partially my fault that she is where she is right now.” It’s nice to see Ben open up about a sensitive subject with James. This is something they can have in common – the love for their sisters.

I can see that James still isn’t settled with the conversation. He is tense and I notice that he isn’t making eye contact with Erin. She must notice too, because she is standing insecurely off to herself with her arms crossed and she is looking down to the floor. I have a feeling that her promiscuity was never a discussed topic.

I shoot James a:
what the fuck are you doing?
look and I go to stand with her, to hug her. He straightens his shoulders and comes over to us. I threaten him with my eyes to watch what he says.

“So… have you been with a lot of guys? Is this something I need to worry about? Seeing your past … fucks around? Or fearing that you’re going to cheat on me?” His tone is clipped and shaky. I think he’s afraid of the answer that is hanging in the thick air. I nudge her shoulder to show her that I am going to give them some privacy. I walk next to Ben and dart my head to the direction of our room.

Seeing my brother with the same concerns that I have battled with from the start with Ben is eye opening. I see the same fear and emotion on his face that I felt in my heart. But seeing the way it was making Erin feel made me want to cry. I saw on her face the way Ben avoided to look: Weak. She didn’t think about how she carried on with guys, not until she met the right one. Ben didn’t care about his bed hopping back then, not until he met me, then it all kept popping up, throwing it on both of our faces.

I feel like I can understand so much more about him now, but now I need to figure out a way to help the one friend who truly helped me in the same situation. I know what James is going through.

Ben closes the door separating us from Erin and James, hopefully they are working it out, or at least being honest. That’s all they really can do.

“How are you?” Ben asks me.

I sluggishly climb onto our bed and stretch out. I look up to the ceiling, I feel the alcohol rushing my system. “I am okay … then again I have been playing this through my head for a few weeks now.”