Private Deceptions (21 page)

There was no doubt about it, I was drunk. Trippin’ over the rug by the door was a real indicator of that. Staggering the way I was, the couch was as far as my drunk legs would carry me. I disarmed myself and sat down. Fell down actually. Fortunately for me, I had left a bottle of Johnnie Black on the coffee table. I picked up a glass and started to pour. I decided that was too much trouble. So I raised the bottle to my mouth. I could actually feel the liquor flowing through my body. The only problem was that it wasn’t helping. I had just returned from the hospital, Monika hadn’t regained consciousness and was still in intensive care. It didn’t matter. I still had to tell her that Jett was dead.

For the second time, I faced myself with the same question. "If I had only got there sooner, could I have saved him?"

I didn’t know.

The only difference was that this time I wasn’t fuckin’ Felicia or some dumb shit like that. I was on my way. His body was still warm when I got there. "If I had only —"

No point torturing myself about it now. Jett was dead and Monika was fighting for her life. I slammed the bottle down on the table. This game had gone on long enough. Somebody was going to have to answer for both of them. But who?

I wanted to hurt somebody, make somebody feel my pain. But who? I was sure that Chilly ordered up both hits, but he was in jail. I gave serious thought to getting myself arrested so I could kill him. But the thought faded quickly. I could get Freeze to arrange it, but I wouldn’t get any satisfaction from just knowing he was dead. I had to do it. I wanted him to feel all my pain. I wanted to look in his eyes before I pulled the trigger.

"Say Good-bye."

I wanted him to know why he had to die. Not just for me, but for everyone he terrorized over the years. Johnnie Black called out to me, as if he wanted to drink to it. I gladly obliged him. "A drunk never argues with his bottle." It was almost a rule. A good soldier always follows rules. No, a good soldier always follows orders. "What do drunks do?"

They drink!

Stupid!

When I woke up, the bottle was empty and I was on the floor. I stood up slowly, and looked around the apartment. I took a moment to think about how I got that far away from the couch and who made this mess. I needed someone to blame. I looked at the empty bottle. "Had to be you."

I was hungry, but I didn’t feel like cooking, so I grabbed my keys and looked around for my guns. I didn’t see them and I didn’t care. I would find them when I got back. The liquor store was my first stop. My first drink of the day convinced me that it wouldn’t be my last. I walked to the bar on the next corner.

"Might as well kill two birds with one stone."

Since it wasn’t quite time for lunch, and a little too late for breakfast, I had steak and eggs. Johnnie Black replaced the orange juice. While I sat there gettin’ my eat and my drunk on, I gave some thought to, you know, stop feeling sorry for myself and doin’ something about it. All this drinking wasn’t gonna bring Jett back from the dead or make Monika open her eyes. And on top of that, it wasn’t making me feel any better, just drunker.

With that thought in mind, I was able to keep the drinking to two shots. On my way out of the restaurant, a man asked me for some spare change. I made his day with a picture of Alexander Hamilton.

When I got back to the apartment, I put my bottle down on the coffee table, headed for the shower, and tried to pull it together. I love long hot showers; it is, to me, the greatest joy next to gettin’ pussy. With my head clearing, I began to think about how I was goin’ to exact my revenge. I might not be able to get Chilly, but I would tear threw his whole set. I would be their nightmare now, but they wouldn’t be wakin’ up.

All at once, I became very conscious of the fact that I was just one guy and he had an army. But I knew in my heart that I wouldn’t be alone. Freeze had my back, just like the old days. And for that, I felt like shit. I would be draggin’ Black’s organization into a war. Maybe even, Black himself. "How could I do that after what I did." I turned off the shower and came back to reality. If it was gonna get done, it would be me doin’ it. I would have to have a plan. Pick them off, one by one, in methods that were more creative. I put my pants back on and resumed the search for my guns. It wasn’t like I didn’t have an arsenal here. But it was the principle of the thing. There was a knock at the door. I looked out the peephole and didn’t see anybody. "Who is it?"

"It’s Gee, Nick. Please let me in." I looked again and still didn’t see her. I opened the door, stepped aside, and prepared to receive her. She took a step inside. I looked at her face. Her jaw was swollen and —

"Get in there!" the door swung open and there was Chilly. Gee stumbled to the floor. Chilly pointed the gun at me and grabbed her, jerking her back to her feet.

"I’m sorry, Nick," Gee whimpered.

"You stay right where the fuck you are! You move and I’ll kill you."

"You’re gonna try to kill me anyway, what’s the difference?"

"Right."

Chilly fired at me.

I didn’t move. It came close to hitting my arm. I don’t think he meant to hit me with that shot. It was meant to get my attention.

It did.

I wasn’t afraid to die. I just didn’t want to die like this, half-naked and unarmed.

Chilly looked at me and then at his wife. "Get over there with him. You two belong together." He pushed her in my direction. "Ain’t neither one of you worth a shit."

"You all right?"

"I’m okay," Gee said softly without taking her eyes off Chilly.

"How’d he get out?"

"Bail," Gee whispered.

"Don’t ask her nothin’ mutha fucka! You wanta know how I got out, you ask me!" Chilly screamed. "Cops can’t hold a mutha fucka like me on some bullshit tip like this! You two dirty mutha fuckas set me up!"

"Set you up?" I had to laugh. It might have been foolish to laugh at a man that’s pointing a gun at you, but that shit was funny.

"You two think you’re slick. Had this shit all worked out. Neither one of you mutha fuckas can be trusted. Your ho ass, out there fuckin’ everybody. And you nigga, everything they said about you is true. But I thought that was all bullshit. I thought you was old school. I came to you on the real, straight up business. Showed you more respect than you deserved. You took my money!"

"You took money from him?" Gee looked puzzled at me.

"Oh, he didn’t tell you? That wasn’t part of y’alls little plan? Stupid bitch! You always was a stupid bitch, Gee. This nigga been playin’ you! I gave him five grand to tell me where Jake was. But the difference between me and this nigga is that I have honor. I still wanted him to tell you where your brother was, just as long as he told me too. You ain’t loyal to shit are you mutha fucka? Fuckin’ my wife. You a dirty mutha fucka. Bobby shoulda killed your ass." He spit in my face and then moved the barrel of his gun against my forehead, in case I wanted to do something about it. "Yeah, y’all got a nigga set up."

"So I guess Jake didn’t develop that shit for you? So, all those people dyin’ ain’t your fault."

Now it was Chilly who was laughing. "I didn’t kill nobody. That’s on Jake. Who knew his sorry ass was a sorry ass chemist?"

"You practicin’ for your day in court?"

"I ain’t goin’, you are."

"Who killed Pamela Hendricks?"

"Let’s see, — didn’t she die from that bullshit
her
punk ass brother cooked up?"

"What about Lisa?"

"You killed her. Your finger prints were at the murder scene."

"Rocky?"

"You killed him too, ’cause he sent his boyz after you."

"What about Jett and Monika?"

"I don’t know no damn Jett. And Monika," he licked his lips and smiled a smile that annoyed the fuck out of me. "Shit! I had other plans for her fine ass. So you see my nigga, you the one gonna die for this."

Although I hated to admit it, he had a point. He could still walk away from all this. Leaving me to step off for it.

"Get me a drink, Gee."

"What?"

Chilly slapped her to the floor and quickly returned his gun to my forehead.

"I said get me a fuckin’ drink."

Figuring it was best to stay low, Gee crawled over to the coffee table and poured him a drink. Gee got to her feet and walked slowly toward him. She reached out to hand him the glass. He took his eyes off me to reach for the glass. "Don’t even think about it."

Gee threw the glass in his eye.

Chilly grabbed his eye.

I went for the gun and knocked it out of his hand. It fell to the floor. He punched me in the face; I fell to the floor. Chilly backhanded Gee and she went down too. He was strong as hell. I got to one knee, but before I could get up, he was on me. He rammed his knee into my face and I fell back. I hit my back against the coffee table and rolled over. Chilly came at me, kicking me in the back. Gee got up; Chilly kicked away. She jumped on his back and scratched his face. Chilly shook her off of his back quickly; she hit the floor hard. Chilly turned to look at her; it gave me enough time to get to my feet.

I rushed at him. Clinching both of my hands together, I hit Chilly in the face. He fell back and stumbled over Gee. I went straight at him, hittin’ him again and again. Chilly swung at me and missed. I got one arm around his throat and the other around his head. I squeezed with everything I had. He struggled, I squeezed harder. He tried to get my arm from around his neck. I squeezed harder. I could feel him gasping for air. I jerked his head as hard as I could to the side. Chilly stopped strugglin’. I looked at Gee, she hadn’t moved.

I let his body drop to the floor.

My back was killin’ me.

I looked around for his gun. Conveniently, it had fallen by the couch. I picked it up, sat down, and looked at their bodies on the floor.

Gee began to move and I got up slowly. I helped her to her feet and over to the couch. "Are you all right?" I sat down next to her.

"I think so." Her hands were shaking, so I held them.

"You were all right back there."

"Huh?" she looked at me like I was stupid.

"I mean you didn’t just stand back screamin’. You came through for me. Thank you. You saved my life."

"It wasn’t all that," she smiled. "My back is killin’ me."

"Mine too."

She looked at Chilly. "Is he dead?"

"I don’t know. And I’m not all that interested in goin’ over there to find out. If he moves, I’ll shoot him."

"Was he dead?" Wanda asked.

"Yeah, Wanda, he was dead."

"What did you do then?"

"I called Freeze and told him where I was and what happened. He said he was gonna call you. Then I called the cops. They came and arrested me for murder."

"What happened to Mrs. Childers? Was she taken in too?"

"No. The cops talked to her, took her statement, and then they had an officer take her home."

"Do you know what she told them?"

"We went over our story before the cops came. It was pretty much the truth.

"Did you talk to anyone before I got there?"

"You asked me that already, Wanda. No, I didn’t talk to anybody."

"Good."

"How did Black find out I was in jail?"

"Freeze told him. Freeze has been keeping Mike up, all of us really, keepin’ us up on what you’ve been doin’."

"Bet you’ve all been havin’ a good laugh."

"Why do you say that?" Wanda said and laughed. "We all care about you and what you do, Nick." Turning serious, Wanda continued. "I don’t know how I can get you to see that. Whether you accept it or not, whether you accept us or not, Nick, we
are
your family."

I didn’t say anything.

What could I say?

I’d been fighting that war within myself for years. "Chilly was right about one thing."

"What do you mean?"

"When he said Bobby shoulda killed me over Camille."

"Camille. Not Camille again. You need to let that go, Nick. She wasn’t worth it then, and she damn sure ain’t worth it now."

"You’ve never met Camille, have you, Wanda?"

"Yes I have, twice actually." Wanda smiled and I wondered why.

"When?"

"Before you or Bobby met her."

"Where?"

Wanda took a deep breath. "I met her in Mike’s bedroom."

I guess Wanda could tell by the look on my face that I wanted to hear the story. Needed to hear it. "Mike was supposed to be going with me to a fund raiser."

"Black? Back then, at a fund raiser?"

"You know Glynnis Presley?"

"Ain’t she an aid to some congressman?"

"Senator now. But yeah, that night began our long association. Anyway, I went there to pick him up. He wasn’t ready when I got there, so he got in the shower and told me to pick him out something to wear. I walked in the room and Camille was in the bed. I apologized for walking in on her, but she didn’t seem to care." Wanda let out a little laugh. "She invited me to join her in bed."

"That was Camille."

"She was poison, Nick."

"You couldn’t possibly understand."

"Yes I can, Nick. More than you know."

"I was sick when I left there that night, Wanda, can’t you see that?"

"I know. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that night. Bobby with his gun in your mouth. Screamin’ he was gonna kill you. Mike with his gun to Bobby’s head. He just kept sayin’, ‘Bobby put the gun down.’ I remember lookin’ at his face, his eyes. I could see the pain he was in."

"My two best friends. Bobby was ready to kill me. And Black, shit! I can’t even imagine where his head was, with a gun to Bobby’s head. Him and Bobby are like brothers. And the reason was Camille. I called her when I left there. Told her what happened. She didn’t care. She laughed at how she had us. And she had us. She told me to come fuck her. I was on my way, but I needed a drink first. Three really. Camille was dead when I got there. Two shots to the head."

"Camille," Wanda said as she got up from the couch. She walked slowly, thoughtfully toward the window. "Oh, Nick. There is so much you don’t know about that night."

"Why don’t you tell me about that night. I’ve been talking all night. You talk for awhile, Wanda."

"Do you remember passing Freeze on your way out?"

"Yeah."

"I mean really, remember, Nick? Do you remember him carrying a large envelope?"

"I remember."

I remember it all.

"Bobby put the gun down," Black yelled.

I felt Bobby’s hand tighten around my throat.

"I’ll kill you!" Bobby screamed.

Black put his gun to Bobby’s head. "Bobby please," he said quietly. "Take the gun out of his mouth and put it down."

Black moved his gun away from Bobby’s head. Bobby let go of my throat and slowly eased his gun out of my mouth.

I reached for my throat and took a step away from Bobby.

Bobby stared at me. "Don’t think this is over."

I started to walk away, trying to catch my breath.

"I’m kill you!" Bobby shouted. "And that bitch!"

I left Black’s office at the Late Night and walked across the dance floor on my way out the club. Wanda ran after me. "Nick wait." she said.

I saw Freeze coming, "Yo, Nick, you’re gonna wanna to see this." But I just kept walking.

"I remember."

Wanda walked toward me and held her hand out. "There’s something I want you to see." I accepted Wanda’s hand, and she led me into the bedroom. "Don’t even think about it."

"Furthest thing from my mind." I looked Wanda up and down and I smiled. "Not until you brought it up."

Wanda led me to her dresser and let go of my hand. She removed the picture from the wall and opened her safe. She took out an envelope and handed it to me. "This is what he wanted you to see."

I sat down on the bed and Wanda left me alone. The envelope had a notebook in it. I sat quietly and began to read. It was a journal. A very detailed account of all contact Camille had with any of us. All about our operation. Where our gambling houses were, and who ran them. Everything. From the first time she met Freeze at the Knicks game.
She fucked him too.
She wrote at length and in great detail about Black. How it troubled her that she never could get Black to talk to her, much less tell her anything important. She wrote, "Black would say just enough to get me out me dress."

Which is how I coulda played her.

Camille wrote about her and Bobby. About how she was so turned on when she met me. She wrote everything, every conversation she’d heard, everything she saw. Everything I ever told her. She even described her desire to seduce Wanda.

I sat there reading for hours. Was she Five-O? Couldn’t be. No cop would keep this type of journal and leave it around to be found.

Wanda was back in her spot on the couch and I joined her there. "Where did Freeze find this?"

"Freeze searched her apartment."

"What was he doin’ there?"

"Mike sent him."

"Why?"

"Why do you think Mike would? She was a cancer growing in his organization."

"What happened that night?"

"After we read the journal, Mike made Freeze take Bobby home. Then me and Mike went to see Camille."

"To kill her."

"No, Mike offered her twenty thousand dollars to go back to Barbados. She refused. He asked her to explain herself. She said it was just to protect herself. And that she had another copy of that book and she would use it when she needed to, and for more than twenty thousand dollars."

"So Black shot her."

"No. You know Mike would never shoot a woman."

I looked at Wanda.

"I shot her, Nick."

"You."

"Yes, Nick, I shot her. It had to be done. She was poison, and she was eating her way through our entire organization. There’s enough evidence in that journal she was keeping to put all of us in jail for long time. I know how you felt about her and I hope you can forgive me, but I did what had to be done."

"All these years I thought Bobby killed her."

"No, Nick, he didn’t. I killed her. Bobby said he felt stupid to be so fooled by her. Camille had you all fooled."

"That’s all well and good, but it doesn’t change the facts. I betrayed Bobby."

"Whatever, Nick. I’m goin’ to bed. You’re welcome to stay here, if you want. I have plenty of room."

"I might take you up on that." I yawned.

"I hope you do. We still have things to talk about. So I hope you’re still here when I wake up. Good night, Nick."

"Good night, Wanda. And thanks."

"For what?"

"For being there." I stood up and hugged her.

"I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world. Just don’t run away from us this time. We love you." She kissed me on the cheek. "Good night, Nick."

I watched her walk into her room and close the door behind her. I could use a drink, but I really didn’t need one. I went to the bedroom next to Wanda’s. Kicked off my shoes and laid down on the bed. I had talked out the whole story and I still didn’t get it. I thought about what Wanda told me. I tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. But I couldn’t. Everything kept rolling around in my mind. I just kept thinking about Chilly. And Camille. And Bobby. And Gee. Nothing is as it seems.

And then it all came together.

I put my shoes on and left.