Authors: Jane Smiley
packet of letters was not one she found but one that fell into her possession, quite
literally, as she was setting mouse traps in the linen wardrobe. She was brushing away
dirt and what all, and bumped her head sharply against the upper shelf. As she then
backed out of the wardrobe, it began to teeter, and when she pushed it back against the
wall with both hands, one of the files that had been stored there, willy-nilly, fell out onto
the floor and broke. There was the packet, this one not from Andrew to his mother but
from Mrs. Early to Andrew. There were five of them.
She carried them to her bedroom, and sat down on the bed. The first one
read:January 14, 1901
Darlington, Missouri Dear Andrew,I was pleased to read in your last that you find the
arrangements I made for your comfort in your new place in Chicago very much to your
liking. I did consider a lighter stuff for the window draperies, but even in the short time
that I was with you there, it was evident to me that you would have both a strong west
wind, off the prairies (and straight from Minnesota, you can count on that) and, on other
days, an equally punishing wind off the lake, and so, if you feel cozy and well insulated,
you may thank my foresight.I hasten to respond to your last, received today, because I
sense in your dissatisfaction with Mr. C----the ghost of the old difficulty, and this
difficulty, son, resides in you, not in Mr. C----. I am going to be blunt with you, in the
hopes that you will not allow your feelings to get the best of you. You must be patient. It
is unfortunate that you and Mr. C----crossed paths in Germany. He is certainly alert to
your challenge to him. He is a short man, a younger man than you by at least a few years,
and the only son of considerable wealth. He has not been given as much of a free rein as
you have been given, to make the most of his abilities and to fly out of the paternal nest.
He is undoubtedly sensitive to your claims and jealous of your abilities. This puts a
strong onus upon you to be patient, forbearing, and, most of all, to drop old antipathies,
even in the face of the fact that he outranks you at the observatory. I know you can do
these things, and that you have, increasingly, shown yourself to possess a measure of tact.
Your last disturbed me, it is true, but I have confidence in your discretion.Love always,
Mother
The next one was dated in April:Dearest Andrew,Thank you for your last. Mrs.
Hitchens and I did enjoy our visit to Hot Springs. Apparently, there is a great plan afoot
to open a horseracing track, and I was telling Mrs. Hitchens about how much we enjoyed
the racing at Saratoga two years ago, and of your luck at the windows, when you told me
that a superior European education was good for more things than one. Your grandfather,
though a respectable man in every way, would have been proud of such sentiments!From
your silence on the subject, I can only assume that you have laid aside your animus
toward Mr. C----, and are prepared to take the long way round. THIS CAN ONLY BE
GOOD. Son, you have not had the experience that other men have, which is to be part of
an institution that works, and must work, in a certain way. Every institution has its own
system, and woe betide those who rush in and attempt to change the system precipitously.
Such efforts can only offend those to whom the ways of the institution seem just and
appropriate, and those people will have their revenge, make no mistake about it. You
have had things all your own way for all of your life (and for this, I must blame myself-your brothers are much more canny than you are about political issues). But I will leave it
at that, and praise you for your continuing forbearance.
And then she went on with family news for a page and a half.
Given her new interest in motherhood, Margaret read these letters with respect for
her mother-in-law's skill in finding words to address Andrew that were both
straightforward and tactful. Andrew's mother was not like Lavinia, who kept her feelings
and thoughts mostly to herself until they burst out in a surprising and sometimes hurtful
way that she later had to apologize for. But when she turned to the next letter, she saw
that, however tactfully and honestly (and wisely) Mrs. Early expressed herself, it had had
no effect. She wrote:June 2, 1902
St. Louis, the Chouteau Hotel,
Chouteau and South Broadway Dearest Andrew:John has forwarded your last to me here
in St. Louis, where I am doing some business concerning the Gratiot Street property (and
a thorny business it is, I must say, but too tedious to relate). I was dismayed to read that
you have sent a list of objections and "suggestions" (which certainly read like ultimata) to
your colleague Mr. C----and also to your superior, Mr. D----. I cannot feature how you
think this will help your case or promote your interests. I do realize that it is unfair for
Mr. C----to forbid to you use of the refracting telescope in Wisconsin, and I am sure, as
you say, that his excuse for this--that you were not careful enough with it last summer--is
simply patched together. But I am telling you that if you encourage him to repeat it too
often, he will come to forget that it is a lie and a slander, and believe it as fervently as if it
were God's own truth. One reason for "turning the other cheek" is that each time an
enemy lands a blow, he is motivated to land another. Soon there is no way of stepping
back from the most extreme possible positions. I know you know this, because you have
enunciated all the right sentiments, but now, in the heat of battle, it is as if you have
forgotten everything you've learned. You are thirty-five years old, Andrew, and must
understand that if you spoil this opportunity at the University of Chicago, you will never
get another like it, and all of your hopes and dreams, not to mention your work, will have
been for nought. When you were enduring the hardships of southern Mexico, it was for
this very thing--the chance to work at such a place, with such men, at just such a time as
this, when Americans have, as you say, thrown off provincialism in time for the new
century. Yes, we have said that you were made for this position! You were! That the
position requires something of you--some forbearance, some understanding, some
CANNINESS--is not surprising to anyone who must make his or her way in the world. I
urge you to step back now--to apologize to Mr. C----, to withdraw your complaints to Mr.
D----, and to wait, simply to wait. If you can't do it there, on the scene, then come home
to Darlington for the summer and cool your heels.Your loving Mother
Margaret could not help reading this with growing alarm, even though it was
dated years previously, and all these events were over and done with, and somehow they
had resulted in their current,
her
current, situation with Andrew. She felt her heart
quicken with suspense and anxiety while reading, and decided not to go on to the last
one. She looked around the bedroom, then bundled the letters together and pushed them
under the pillow. All that evening, she watched Andrew, but he seemed entirely himself-when Hubert Lear turned up, out on the front porch, smoking a cigarette, Andrew invited
him in, and offered him a slice of apple pie. They talked about school, and Andrew
showed him how to calculate compound interest.
The next morning, when Margaret opened the fourth letter, it was only because
she made up her mind that it was irrelevant to her situation--she was happy, Andrew
seemed in good spirits. The letter ran:January 2, 1903
Darlington Dearest Andrew,I must admit that it was with considerable dread that I saw
the thick envelope addressed to me, in your handwriting, in this morning's mail, and as I
feared, the envelope contained a lengthy self-justification. As much as I love you, son, I
cannot agree that you have done "the very thing that honor demanded" of you. "Honor"
has never demanded a thing of you in this sequence of events at the University of
Chicago, but pride has goaded you at every turn since the day you arrived on the campus,
knowing Mr. C----was already there. As I said to you when you were considering
whether or not to accept the position Mr. D----was offering you, it was not that they were
beseeching you to come, it was that they were extending an opportunity to you, and they
knew it. You should have known it, too.I believe you when you say that Mr. C----is
insufferable--to YOU. But he is not insufferable to Mr. D----and to Mr. Rockefeller and
to others who are powers in the University. He fits in with them, and they are comfortable
with him. In addition to that (and I am disappointed that you are so unworldly that you do
not understand this simple fact of life), his father donated the observatory and the
telescope, and so he has a proprietary feeling about it. Is this so obscure an example of
human nature that you cannot understand it? The disparities of wealth in Darlington are
minor--the difference between sleeping in the front parlor and keeping the front parlor
just for company. But the differences in wealth in Chicago or New York or San Francisco
are considerable and ostentatious, and it is the job of every aspirant to simply ignore
them, however grating they may be.I understand from your letter that Mr. D----is ready
to accede to your demands in some degree, and to raise your position. My advice is to
accept this with a strong expression of gratitude and withdraw the rest of your complaints
(for that is what they are). If your work is important to you, then proceed with it.
But her advice made no difference, because a brief letter dated a month later said:
"Of course you may come to Darlington and restore your health and equilibrium, and you
may stay as long as you wish. I won't hide my disappointment in the outcome of this
contretemps right now, but perhaps by the time you arrive things will look more just, or
at least more inevitable. I remain, always, your loving Mother."
The letter was dated early February 1903, that period when Andrew was visiting
his mother during the cold snap--when Mrs. Early was so kind to Margaret and Lavinia,
and they were so grateful for and impressed by the warmth and beauty of her house. It did
give her a chill, to read about the real torments Andrew and Mrs. Early had felt, which
had swirled behind their courtesies. She blushed to think of herself and Lavinia, looking
around that bedroom, so blindly impressed.
She put the packet away where she had found it, and decided to resist pursuing
further investigations, and then a letter from Andrew's mother arrived--she wrote about
once a month, always something addressed to the both of them, light and gossipy and
never intrusive (Lavinia had begun asking in every letter when she might expect a
grandson, and Margaret had only just mailed off the letter that described their recent
disappointment). When Andrew handed the letter to her, she read it with a new
appreciation of Mrs. Early's style and manner. It read:Dear Andrew--Here in Darlington,
it is cold and gloomy and the windows are covered wth ice. As a result, Mrs. Hitchens
and I are scheming about taking a great journey west, and, of course, your establishment,
and you, yourself, and dear Margaret are first in our thoughts. I cannot imagine how it is
that I have overlooked California in my travels! To think that I have visited Thomas in
Texas, where the scorpions and the tarantulas hold sway, and yet I have not sojourned in
the paradise of San Francisco! So--you and Margaret must prepare yourselves, Mrs.
Hitchens and I are embarking for Vallejo in one week--on April 3, and we should be with
you shortly thereafter, though I do anticipate that we will stop from time to time to gawk
at the vista and stare at the natives (be they white or Indian--I understand that the two
groups are equally intriguing). I will send to you by telegraph as we get closer. I don't
expect to impose upon you and Margaret for more than a day or two, but to travel on in
state to San Francisco, and there partake of every luxury!Your loving and self-indulgent
Mother
When she looked up after reading this, Margaret saw that Andrew was staring at
her, and then at their little house, so jam-packed with papers, books, and assorted
paraphernalia. She said, "Oh, I know Mrs. Lear will be happy to put them up--she has
eight bedrooms, and she's always wishing her own relations would visit." And, of course,
it would be the opportunity of a lifetime for her neighbor to divine something more about
Andrew than what Margaret was able to come up with solely on her own--Mrs. Lear and
Andrew's mother would surely get along famously.
The two ladies arrived late in the evening. Andrew and Margaret met the train and
took them by wagon and ferry directly to Mrs. Lear's house, where the boys had put up a
banner and, as they approached, set off a few homemade firecrackers for a welcome. Mrs.
Lear had laid out a small but elegant buffet of lemon tarts, tea, and avocado-and-prawn
sandwiches. By morning, after breakfast at the latest, Margaret knew, Mrs. Early would
hear about her failed pregnancy, and probably about every other little observation Mrs.
Lear had made of her life with Andrew. Margaret found this reassuring.