Progress (The Progress Series) (20 page)

“Are you envious of them?” he asked.

“No, not envious, just…hopeful.”

“And you’d choose a guy like Adam?”

“Ha! No! Are you kidding me? That’s just gross. I don’t know where you got an idea like that from, but I’m not interested in the kind of guy that stares at my ass all day long with a little bead of drool puddled on his bottom lip.
‘Oh, hi Charlie…can I stand a little closer to you? If I’m lucky, you won’t notice and I can ejaculate in my pants while I hump your leg.’
Yeah, not a part of my fantasy whatsoever,” she shivered. “Ick.”

“Yeah, ‘ejaculate’ is totally a word he would use, too,” he said while laughing. “But you realize, Charlie, that
you
create these leagues. You read in magazines, watch movies, see on TV these beautiful people, and you think that their lives are glorified because they’re pretty? Who’s telling you that you’re not beautiful, smooth, witty, strong, and smart? Who’s telling you you’re not worthy?” he added.

“That’s easy for you to say, Jess. Don’t get mad at me here, because I’m just calling it like I see it. But you break a few hearts a week yourself. I mean, look at you! You’re attractive and brilliant. Women throw themselves at you, I’ve seen it--”

“Hey, what did I miss?” Donny announced his arrival at the table and set down three beers. “I saw you were running low, so I brought us some more.”

“Thank you, Donovan,” Charlie said.

“You mind if I join you? That is until Mom rips me away to help with more hors d’oeuvres,” Donny said.

“Have a seat,” Jesse said.

“You’re looking better than you did a couple weeks ago, Jess. Do we owe this to our lady friend here?” Donny said with another wink toward Charlie.

Jesse shrugged, “Probably.”

“So how did you two meet? You have everyone talking. I even heard Uncle Al say he thought you were gay. He thought Jake was your boyfriend.” Donny said.

Jesse shook his head with a smile. “We work at The Crimson together.”

“Oh, another hostess?” Donny chuckled.

Charlie let out a loud burst of laughter. “Che
ers to another hostess!” She lifted her glass cheerfully.

“Cheers,” both brothers said together, laughing as they all clinked their glasses.

“Dance with me, Charlie?” Donny asked.

Her mouth opened slightly and she looked at Donny, bewildered. She tried to look at Jesse out of the corner of her eye to gauge his reaction.

“Yes. I’d love a dance,” she said.

“Follow me.” Donny smiled and took her hand. She followed him as he led her to the floating deck not far from their table. It had a stunning view of the lake and the oversized homes alight with their mirror images on the water.

Jesse watched from a short distance away. A shuddering jolt of envy made its way into his stomach. He wasn’t worried that Donny would sweep her off her feet, because he knew Charlie well enough to know she wouldn’t operate that way. She was skeptical and untrusting with newcomers. It would take too much of Donny’s precious time to woo her. Charlie winked at Jesse just as Donny stole her attention away again.

I wish I would have thought of asking her to dance. She doesn’t seem nervous. She doesn’t seem scared. She’s giggling. What are they talking about? Drink, Jess. Take another drink. Act casual. Everyone is staring at them. Admiring. You have to do this right. You have to treat her well. Enough of the bullshit, thinking she’s like Bree. You’ve never had anything with anybody like you do with Charlie. She makes you feel again. She makes you want to be good. She makes you…

Returning to the table, Donny pulled out Charlie’s chair for her to sit down. She thanked him and the conversation was effortless as they all enjoyed each other’s company.

One by one, each family member came around to the table throughout the evening, all introducing themselves as Jesse struggled to remember their names. Every time a new person approached, Charlie came up with a different story about why she was there with him: a blind date, an escort service, Jesse’s AA sponsor (which was his favorite), his wife, his dog groomer, his dental assistant, and others. Jesse sat back and enjoyed watching Charlie have fun with the evening. He couldn’t deny that it was one of the best times he’d had at The Anders Fall Family Reunion. By the time the evening was coming to a close, he had all but shaken any depressed thoughts and dismal outlooks.

Wrestling her coat on, Charlie finished her last beer. She stumbled a little and Jesse caught her arm.

“You gonna make it? You know…you’ve failed as my sponsor tonight.” He laughed.

“I’m okay. Just feeling a little numb. Maybe I should take off these shoes. I can see them being disastrous in the near future,” she said, slipping off her heels.

“Let’s say goodbye to everyone and I’ll bring you home.”

“Okey doke.”

Walking toward a still-sociable Susie, Jesse put one arm around his mom and whispered in her ear, “We’re taking off.”

“Oh hon, I’m sorry I didn’t get to chat more with you and your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, Ma. And don’t worry about it, I’m sure you’ll see her again. We work together.”

“Oh good. It was so nice to meet you, Charlie.” Susie hugged Charlie and smiled.

Charlie looked unsure of her balance as they walked back to
the car. “I hope I did you proud…being your girlfriend tonight.” She winked and tumbled into the car.

“You did just fine, Charlie,” he said as he shut her door.

She cozied herself in and leaned her head back on the seat.

Dozing in and out of consciousness on the way home, she occasionally muttered incoherent words until she said, “It’s too bad you don’t do the girlfriend thing. Tonight was fun. You’re doing the world an injustice by not letting people in.”

Sweet Charlie. You think it’s so simple.

Charlie woke a few miles from her house and remained silent. Jesse glanced at her twice and wondered what she was thinking. He pulled into her driveway and put the car into park.

“Well, we’re here,” he said.

“Yes, we are. Thanks again for inviting me.”

For minutes, silence consumed the car, neither of them willing to say a final ‘goodnight.’

“It’s easier to be alone like this. I can’t expect anyone to understand. But I…I would’ve loved to have danced with you tonight,” he said.

She exhaled and opened the car door. Searching for the right words, she began, then stopped and appeared to change her mind. “Thanks again. See you at work.”

Wait, Charlie, don’t go. I don’t want to be alone tonight. Spend the night with me.

“What are you doing after work today?” Jesse said to Charlie while she was on the other side of the crowded kitchen. She couldn’t hear him.

“Hey! Charlie!” Jesse shouted.

The entire kitchen staff and three servers turned to look. No one had heard Jesse speak in weeks, and now he was shouting Charlie’s name. His tone was severe and the employees braced themselves for a wrath.

Charlie looked up with a furrowed brow at the sound of her name. She, too, had heard his tone, and her name was still floating in the air all around them.

Jesse’s and Charlie’s eyes locked. His posture softened and he gave a small exhale. It was as if he had been searching for Charlie for months and had finally realized she had been there the whole time, waiting for him, too.

She gave him a quick smile and tilted her head to one side. “Um. Yes?” she said sarcastically, springing a smile to Jesse’s face.

“What are you doing after work?” Jesse’s voice was still rough and loud.

Shouting back and forth within the kitchen, which seemed completely unnecessary, Jesse and Charlie were smiling at each other.

“What did you have in mind?” she yelled.

He smiled. “Wanna hang out?”

“Sure!” She paused to laugh. “Hey, Jess?”

“Yes, Charlene?”

“Why are we shouting?”

“I don’t know!”

By this point, most of the kitchen staff had gone about their business and weren’t paying any attention to them anymore.

“Would you two get a room already?” Marco said, while snickering at their funny exchange and punching an order into the computer.

Charlie froze and looked at Jesse. Jesse was staring back at her and raised an eyebrow.

“Nah, Marco. Friends don’t do that. Besides, haven’t you heard? Charlie doesn’t...”

Careful. Don’t say it.

But it was too late: Charlie already knew what he was planning to say. Jesse didn’t continue, but walked over to her slowly.

“Drink with me tonight,” Jesse said. It wasn’t a question; more of a demand.

“Um, I can’t. I mean…I can have one drink, but…I have plans at eight o’clock.”

No.

“Plans?” Jesse swallowed.

“Yeah, I…have a…a date.” Charlie fixed her posture and faked a grin.

Jesse nodded.

No. No. No.

“That’s okay. You can have a drink with me and tell me about this date of yours.”

Charlie’s fake smile turned genuine and she looked relieved.

*

After their shifts, Jesse and Charlie met at a booth in the bar.

“So, why didn’t you tell me about this date of yours last night?” Jesse slowly blinked.

“I didn’t know what kind of mood it would put you in. I met him here last week.”

“And what? He just asked you ou
t?” Jesse tried to keep his voice steady and calm.

“Yes.” Charlie was gauging his reaction before she continued. “Um…he just had a really sincere smile.” She looked toward the window, recalling her experience, and then turned back to Jesse’s facial expression.

“Dreadlocks, about six-foot-one, medium build. His name is Ryan.”

“Dreadlocks?” Jesse looked at her skeptically.

“Yeah, I know. But he’s really adorable.” She smiled.

Adorable? What is this guy? A puppy?

“So, what does Ryan do for a living?” Jesse asked.

“He isn’t working right now. He lives with his parents and goes to school full-time. He’s an artist and a musician. And he told me that I’m beautiful. No one had ever made me feel beautiful before.”

Her entire mood has shifted. She’s glowing. She’s fucking glowing. I’ve told her she’s beautiful, haven’t I?

“Well. He sounds perfect,” Jesse said, trying not to unveil his jealousy and failing miserably.

Charlie’s smile faded.

“Yeah. So, that’s the story.” She tried to end the conversation.

He thought by this point he’d be used to their long, uncomfortable silences.

“Talk to me,” she finally said.

“About what?”

“I don’t care, Jess. Anything. Tell me about how you’ve been feeling. Tell me what you’ve been up to. If you’ve been riding your bike. Tell me about how you make cheesecake, the cost of gas, something that doesn’t require so much energy!” Her voice was starting to carry across the bar.

Jesse started bouncing his knee again. Charlie’s eyes moved down and noticed the subtle vibration on the table. Moving around the booth, she sat next to Jesse and placed her hand on his knee.

“Stop this,” she whispered.

Jesse stopped bouncing his knee and froze.

She’s so close. She smells delicious.

“Jess, listen to me. I adore you, you know I do. But I can’t get into this gorgeous head of yours unless you let me. I want to help, and I don’t care if you know it, abuse it, or ignore it. But you’ve been ignoring my calls for weeks. You’ve buried yourself in there, and I don’t know how to reach you. Maybe you don’t think I can help you, but I
do
care.”

Jesse turned to Charlie and their faces were inches apart. Her eyes searched his for answers, darting from eye to eye.

I want to trust you. I want to believe you. I want—

“Hey, Charlie,” a voice called from a few feet away, breaking her fix on Jesse.

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. “Hi, Ryan! Ryan, this is my…friend, Jesse.”

This is the guy?

Ryan reached his hand out to shake Jesse’s and smiled. Jesse hesitated before he obliged.

“Do you want to sit for a while or did you want to get going?” Ryan asked.

This guy doesn’t look like much. What does she like about him? Dirty, smelly dreadlocks. Scrawny, hippie musician. Pussy handshake.

“Give me a minute, will you? I just want to finish up my conversation with Jesse.” She smiled and Ryan bent down and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek before gesturing to the lobby.

He’s already kissing her? He just made her blush. God dammit! Where the fuck have I been?

“I’ll stay with you if you need me to. I’m serious. I won’t go…” she said while standing up next to the booth.

“I’m fine. Go.”

Charlie tilted her head to one side with an intense stare. It was as if no matter what he said, she could read what he really wanted to say in his eyes.